King Knight and Knowing Your Limits (4-12-23)

Last week was about Super Mario 3D World and working together. This week is about King Knight and knowing your limits.

The other day my son, Cam, came up to me and said, “How early do you need to start work tomorrow?” I asked him why he wanted to know. He told me that he was stuck on a particular level of King Knight, a Shovel Knight spin-off, and needed my help. I smiled and told him I’d give him a hand. The next morning, I helped him get past a particularly tricky part and got him to a checkpoint. From there he kept playing on his own. Eventually, he reached the boss of the stage. The first time he faced the boss, he lost pretty quickly. The 2^nd and 3^rd times, he lasted a bit longer. He kept dying, and I thought he’d ask for help, but he didn’t. He kept trying again and again, slowly making progress, until ultimately, he defeated the boss. He was so proud of himself. (Just look at his “I just dominated” pose 😉)

What does this have to do with life? This is a story about Cam understanding his limits and responding accordingly. He knew there was a part of the level that was way beyond his current skills, and that he would not be able to get past it on its own. He was brave enough to ask for help to get past that part. Later, he came to a challenge that was just a little bit past his current skillset. He could have asked for help then, but he knew it would rob him of his chance to accomplish something within his grasp. Instead of asking for help, he trusted himself and kept trying until he eventually succeeded.

I hope we can all be a bit more like Cam. I hope we can assess situations and realize that sometimes they are more than we can handle. In those moments, I hope we are brave enough to ask for help. Other times, I hope we have enough grit to know that we might fail a few times, but we will find a way to do this on our own.

The challenge: How well do you know your limits? Will you ask for help at the right time?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Super Mario 3D World and Working Together (4-6-23)

Last week was about video games and diagnosing the situation before offering any advice. This week is about Super Mario 3D World and the challenges of working together.

Super Mario 3D World is our latest 4 player family video game. It’s a cute adventure with Mario, Luigi, Toad, and Peach who work together to stop Bowser. It’s also an INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING game at times. How can something so cute and joyous be so frustrating? It’s all because the actions of the characters impact each other, so it’s easy to get blindsided and knocked off track. You might run into another character and accidentally knock them off the edge to their doom. You might go to one side of the screen, making the screen follow you, so no one else can see what they are doing, leading to their death. You might get lost in all of the chaos and get ambushed by a lowly goomba. In order to survive, we have to be able to look at our own character and how everyone else is moving. We also have to spend a lot of time coordinating and communicating. Sometimes, we even have to pause the game to talk about what we need to do, so we are all on the same page. This is the only way to capture the flag at the end of each level to advance.

What if work is just like Super Mario 3D World? Think about it. You have multiple players with various skill levels who all have their own power-ups and abilities. Everyone is racing to a goal. Your actions impact you and others around you and vice versa. Have you ever been blindsided by actions of a “player”? Maybe, you’ve been hit by an unexpected process at the worst time. Maybe, you were trying to zig, while everyone else was zagging. Maybe, you had a deadline ambush you from behind a corner. Maybe, you made a decision that had unintended ramifications down the road. I know all these things have happened to me. Like my family playing Super Mario 3D World, in order to be successful you have to understand your role AND look at the big picture to see how it all fits together with other players. You need to spend time communicating with the other players. Sometimes, you might even have to pause and slow things down to ensure everyone is aligned on the end goal. That’s the only way to win.

The challenge: How are you integrating with all of the players in your game? What are you doing to ensure everyone is working together?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Video Games and Diagnosing the Situation (3-29-23)

This week we are going to kick off a series inspired by video games I’ve played with my kids. This week is about diagnosing the situation before offering any coaching or guidance.

The other day my kids were playing Shovel Knight, and they were struggling with a boss. It would have been easy to take the controller from them and do it myself, but that wouldn’t help them develop skills. Whenever I see them struggling, I go through a series of questions to identify the problem. First, I ask them what they are trying to accomplish. If they are clear here, we move to the second question, and I ask them if they even want to accomplish that thing. Sometimes they do, and sometimes they just want to do other side missions for fun. Assuming they want to accomplish the goal, I go to the third question, and I ask them if they know HOW to accomplish the goal. Assuming they are good here, I go to the final question and ask if they are capable of doing the thing. Turns out they knew what to achieve and wanted to do it, they just didn’t know HOW to do it. Once I helped them there, they had the physical skills to do so, and they ended up defeating the boss and advancing.

You might be wondering where this is going. In the video game example above, I give my kids guidance, based on the specific issue they have. For example, building their skills to do something is very different from helping them gain clarity on the objective. There is a sequence of things we need to work through, so they can perform at their best and I need to meet them where they are. Now reflect on work for a moment. When you give advice/coaching to someone, do you ever jump right in without fully understanding the situation? I’ve done this. What happens when you do this? I’ve found that when I jump right in without diagnosing the situation, I often solve the wrong problem. If I solve the wrong problem, then the advice/coaching is not relevant, and the issue still isn’t solved.

The challenge- Will you take the time to diagnose the situation before providing advice/coaching?

Bonus 1: My flow chart of questions to diagnose the issue.

Bonus 2: Shovel Knight: Treasure Trove is an AWESOME indie game. It’s kind of like a different take on Megaman. I’d highly recommend it.

Bonus 3: This blog is partially inspired by takeaways from the book: Coaching for Improved Work Performance by Ferdinand Fournies. The book helps you be more methodical in diagnosing issues.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Shy Guy and Allowing Ourselves to be Curious (3-16-22)

Last week was about leveraging our strengths and the strengths of others. This week is about Shy Guy and allowing ourselves to be curious.

Shy Guy is a relatively minor side character and Super Mario enemy. See the image. A few years ago, I stumbled across an image of Shy Guy and I paused. This character I had known since I was a little kid, now had piqued my curiosity. There was something intriguing about a character wearing a mask and robe. As I looked at him, I began to wonder. What is his story? What are some of his favorite memories? How does he feel about things? As I explored my curiosity, I began to write different things. “Shy Guy doesn’t talk much but has journals full of sweet love poems.” and “Shy Guy wears a mask, so the world can’t see him snickering.” From there I began to write poems further exploring who he is. As I did this, I quickly realized this quirky character had more depth than I ever imagined. (Poems are at the bottom of this blog if you’re intrigued.)

What does this have to do with anything? I gave myself permission to be curious about Shy Guy and it led me to explore and better understand a character I had never given a second thought to. We live in a world focused on speed and rushing, which often interferes with our ability to slow down and be curious. Imagine what would happen if we gave ourselves permission to be more curious about our work and the people we work with. Imagine how we would have a deeper appreciation for each other if we gave ourselves permission to spend a few more valuable minutes trying to understand someone’s story, their motivation, and the way they see the world. Imagine how much stronger our relationships would be. Imagine how much more beauty we would see.

The challenge: Are you giving yourself permission to be curious and explore?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Shy Guy Poems

Shy Guy and Soul Music
3 months. 13 days.
Shy Guy sneaks around his house.
Stealthy.
Silent.
He doesn’t want the curtains to know.
He pounces, shutting them.
The house entirely dark
he stumbles over furniture to find the light.
He curses as he trips.
He peeks outside one more time.
No one is watching.

He blows the dust off the record player.
Memories float up into the air with the dirt specks.

He thinks of his mother,
clutching his hand and his teddy.
Showing them how to twist.
The pearls around her neck
moving in time with the music.

Shy Guy has never been to church,
but is convinced this is soul music.
James Brown.
Funk starts hitting Shy Guy like a wrecking ball,
making the walls he built around himself crumble.

Slowly.
His foot starts tapping.
Slowly.
He smiles again.
Slowly.
He begins peeling back the curtains.

Andrew Embry 2010

Shy Guy Haiku 1

Mask over his mouth.

Hooded robe over body.

He tells no secrets.

Shy Guy Haiku 2

Black holes for his eyes.

Nothing escapes his strong gaze.

No words leave his mouth.

Shy Guy Haiku 3

Mario villain.

Koopa henchman is a monk.

Meek inherit earth.

(Shy Guy) Mask over Heaven

His blackhole eyes consume literary galaxies
with stars and the heavens swirling.
Gravity so strong words cannot escape him.
Not even these,
so fragile
with black ink so faded.
He puts down Milton for the night.

His fingers fiddle with folds of his fierce fire fleece hooded robe.
He places the book down on his nightstand.
His mask beside it.
His beads are already on the door
moving with the night breeze like purple butterfly wings.
With the cloister so quiet
he ruminates
on his own paradise lost.

Andrew Embry 2010

(Shy Guy) Unzipping Closed Secrets

He only speaks before bedtime.
Shy Guy whispers secrets into ziploc bags.
Presses his fingers hard together
sealing every last syllable in tight.

She receives the gift.
Shy Guy blushes burgundy in a white mask.
Surprise!
How can empty ziploc bags weigh so much?

Andrew Embry 2010

Spider-Man: Miles Morales and Understanding the Other Side (3-3-21)

This is the last in our series about Spider-Man: Miles Morales. Last week was about setting the stage to welcome authenticity. This week is about trying to understand the other side before passing judgment. This contains some SPOILERS about the video game.

In most video games (or stories for that matter) there is a clear hero and a clear villain. My daughters know this, so when they played Spider-Man with me they assumed that whoever Spider-Man was trying to stop was obviously evil. In the game, there is an energy company called Roxxon and there is a character named The Tinkerer. Spider-Man fights the Tinkerer early in the game, so my daughters assumed they were evil was evil. As the game unfolds, you learn that Roxxon is doing some shady things and that The Tinkerer is leveraging some outside of the law means to try to stop them. When this is revealed Alice says, “Wait. So is the Tinkerer a good guy or a bad guy?” I replied with, “What do you think?” Alice responded by saying, “I don’t know. They are doing some things I wouldn’t do, but I also understand why they are doing it. This is tricky.”

What does this have to do with anything? Too often in life we assume that all situations are black and white. We see something that we wouldn’t necessarily do, declare it is wrong, and decide the “other” is bad. We don’t always take the time to understand their situation and where they are coming from. The fact is that it’s rarely ever so cut and dry. Trying to truly understand the other person is the first step to seeing the problem and ultimately finding a solution. We see this play out in politics, personal relationships, and even work. How often have you been part of a conversation where someone decided the other person was wrong, before ever trying to understand them? How often have you been that person who passed judgment without understanding?

Here is what makes listening to the other side even harder. It’s human instinct to want to be heard before we try to understand the other person. If we don’t feel like we are being heard, it’s too easy to close our mind to what the other side is saying. I know something I’m continuing to focus on is seeking first to understand before demanding to be understood, even if the other side isn’t originally listening to me.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Noticing, Taking Action, and Creating Gay Video Game Characters (8-5-20)

Happy Wednesday,

This will be the last entry in our series about diversity and inclusion related topic. This week is about noticing something is off and taking action.

Recently, I’ve been playing a video game with Alice (8) called The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword. The game follows the main character, Link, as he defeats bad guys to save Zelda. In this version of The Legend of Zelda, Link has a crush on Zelda. While we have been playing this game, Alice has also been playing Harvest Moon, a farming game where you can grow crops, raise livestock, get married, and start a family. A couple of weeks ago, Alice announced she was going to create her own “video game”. She used beads and a hot iron to create characters and supplies (see pic). After showing me these materials, she told me about the game. She proudly explained, “My version of Zelda is different than the Zelda we played and different from other video games I’ve played. First of all, in this game Zelda is the hero and fights bad guys with Link. Also, in this game if you’re Zelda and want to get married you can marry a boy or you can marry a girl if you want to be gay. You know dad, in most games like Harvest Moon, you can’t be gay.”

What does this have to do with diversity and inclusion? The above story is about Alice noticing that something isn’t quite right, and then taking action to fix it. Alice may not have the vocabulary to express that it is sexist beliefs and tropes that result in the majority of action heroes in video games being male. What she can see though is that there should be more representation and that a female character is just as capable of fighting bad guys as a male character. Alice may not understand all of the biases against people because of their sexual orientation or the fact that gay marriage was illegal until a few years ago. She does know what love looks like, and she understands if that love happens between a man and a woman or two men or two women it’s all good. She does see that video games often don’t allow the representation of gay couples, and that their love is worth celebrating as much as straight couples. She sees all these things, and then makes a game where the girl is the hero and you can be gay.

In a similar way, we can look around at our world and realize that things aren’t right. If we open our eyes, we can see the discrimination that is overt and also woven into the fabric of our society. Once we see those things, we have the power and responsibility to change them. Alice is trying to change things by taking the small step to make her games more inclusive, because that is what is in her sphere of influence. If you look at your sphere of influence, you likely can enact change for the better too.

The challenge- What do you see that is off in the world? What will you change about the world around you in your sphere of influence?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Goat Simulator and Embracing Who/What you are (2-5-20)

This will be the last in the video game series. It’s about a game called Goat Simulator and embracing what you are. Games might be enjoyable because of their stunning graphics, engaging story, or challenging nature. Goat Simulator isn’t any of those things. Instead, it is a ridiculous and random experience unlike anything else I’ve played. In the game, you play as a goat and run through the city breaking things, jumping, doing flips, riding bicycles, transforming into a floating angel and licking stuff to earn points. The game knows exactly what it is and leans into its unique weirdness. The game is ridiculous, and my girls LOVE it!

What does that have to do with anything? Goat Simulator is enjoyable, because it fully embraces what it is. At work it’s easy to get caught up in the idea of who and what you should be. It’s easy to look around and see successful people who are X, Y, and Z, and believe you have to be those things to be successful. This happens to me. Does it happen to you? As a result, it’s easy to lose yourself and try to be something/someone else. I wish we could all embrace who and what we are, as much as Goat Simulator does 😉

Vulnerable Embry story. Recently, I updated my Linkedin profile with a tagline describing myself as a “spark igniting storyteller.” Someone I have a lot of love for sent me a text message and told me that they were glad I was finally embracing this part of myself. They once described me like this to my face, and I responded so negatively it caught them by surprise, because that is obviously who/what I am.

I explained to her that for the longest time I HATED how people talked about me as a storyteller or a poet at work, because that didn’t match what I thought success was supposed to look like. If success looked like X, Y, Z, then I was a weird Q just messing up the alphabet. (#self-conciousAndrew #self-doubtAndrew) Over time I’ve become better at embracing who/what I am, and how that can enable me to be successful. Much like the goat game, there are a lot of things that I’ll never be, but what I am can be special and my uniqueness works in a lot of interesting ways. The same is true for you.

The challenge: Are you embracing who and what you are?

Bonus vulnerability- Before you think to yourself, “Andrew totally has this figured out,” I don’t. Just a few months ago I had been talking to folks and they were giving me compliments about being a creative storyteller, and my brain went to a place of self-doubt and insecurity. I just kept thinking to myself that just once I wanted someone to start the conversation with “Andrew’s is pretty smart and clever marketer” as opposed to making it sound like I’m some weird poet fueled by magic. Eventually, I realized I was being ridiculous, stepped out of my head, and went back to appreciating who I am.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Embracing the Reset Button (1-29-20)

Last week was about Braid and challenging assumptions. This week is about video game systems and the reset button.

I loved the original Nintendo, but I have to admit it could be pretty glitchy at times. Sometimes the games would work fine. Sometimes they would start well, and then get wonky. Other times, they were buggy from the beginning. See the picture to see what I mean. Whenever a glitch like this happened, you had to ask if it was something you could deal with. Sometimes it was a minor color issue, so you could go ahead and play. Sometimes, it was a major issue. When this happened, you’d have to press the reset button. This would restart everything, and give the game a fresh start, often solving the problem.

What does this have to do with anything? In video games you reset to have a fresh start and another chance when things were kind of glitchy. Think about your life right now. Are there things that are kind of “glitchy”? Maybe it’s a series of routines or bad habits that are getting in the way of you taking great care of yourself (#totallyme). Maybe it’s a relationship that has some baggage and tension. Maybe it’s a project that seems to be a little lost. Whatever it is, have you considered pausing to hit the reset button? Have you looked at those habits that are harming you and thought about replacements that could help you? Have you taken a deep breath, offered yourself and others some forgiveness and started over? Have you paused to reassess the work, regroup, and figure out a new path forward?

Too often in life we keep going forward even when things get “glitchy”, because we think we have to. However, if you were playing a video game where things were so glitchy it wasn’t working correctly and you couldn’t perform, you wouldn’t keep playing. You’d stop, reset the game, and try again. Why can’t we do more resetting in life?

The challenge: How are you embracing the reset button?

Havea jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Braid and Assumptions (1-22-20)

Last week was about Super Mario brothers and finding the humanity in evil fish. This week we will look at challenging assumptions, changing perspectives, and a game called Braid.

As we mentioned last week, Super Mario is about saving a Princess from an evil monster. Braid is very similar. You play as Tim, and your goal is to save your girlfriend who has been kidnapped by a monster. Here come some spoilers. Braid feels like a new and improved Mario until it comes to the ending. After defeating all of the evil monsters and conquering the trials and tribulations, you finally get to your girlfriend. You think you’ve saved the day, but then the game reveals something to you. The game reveals that you are actually the evil one. This entire time you’ve been chasing after her thinking you are a good guy going to save her, but actually you are an extremely possessive boyfriend trying to get back the woman who left you. You aren’t saving her. She is running AWAY FROM YOU. #Mindblown.

Assumptions, plot twists, and perspective shifts. The developers of the game were familiar with the assumptions we usually make when we play video games, and then they leveraged those assumptions to create an experience that turned those assumptions around. Our assumption in a game is that we are the hero, and if we are the hero it means we will save someone. The developers took this assumption and flipped it upside down. What if our character wasn’t the hero? What if he was actually the villain? What if the entire time the “hero” was trying to “save” her, he was actually chasing her because she wanted to get away from him? How would that change the experience? Those simple questions completely shifted the paradigm and the experience playing the game.

How does this connect with work? Think about all of the assumptions we make in our work. We assume that customers want X. We assume that we need to develop A in order to be successful. We assume great leaders do Q. Do we know those assumptions are 100% true and accurate? Do you ever spend time questioning those assumptions? What if X isn’t true? What if our customers really want Y instead? What if we don’t have to be great at A? What if we really need to be great at B? How would this change things? How would this information change the games we are all playing?

The challenge: Are you accepting reality as it is presented to you or are you challenging the assumptions we make?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Even Evil Fish have Birthdays (1-15-20)

Last week was about Tetris and building the right foundation. This week is about Super Mario and seeing the humanity in evil fish.

A few years ago I was playing Super Mario Brothers with my wife. In case you’re not familiar with the game, it’s your job to rescue the Princess from King Koopa. You play through a variety of levels to accomplish this task, including the dreaded water levels. We were at a water level, and to say it caused my wife to be anxious would be an understatement. She is terrified of any water level in video games. There is something about how the fish can move faster than your character that creeps her out. Anyway, we were in a level where this giant fish would jump out of the water and swallow you whole.

This fish terrified her. It got her every time and at one point, my wife got extremely frustrated and talked about how much she hated the fish. I said something along the lines of, “Come on, don’t hate the fish. Even evil fish have birthdays,” trying to make a joke about how even an evil fish shares something in common with her. She laughed, and now that quote hangs on one of the walls in our house.

So what does this have to do with anything? Although I said it jokingly, the point behind the comment was still true. Just because this fish thwarted her at every turn, didn’t mean she needed to hate it. This fish she completely opposed and her had at least something in common. Throughout my life I’ve found that when you disagree with someone, it’s easy to paint them in a horrible light. It’s easy to forget they are also human, and once you forget their humanity, it’s easy to turn them into a monster. Once they are a monster, it’s easier to hate them. It’s easier to justify treating them poorly. It’s easier to no longer feel like they deserve any amount of love, respect, or empathy. I imagine as you read this, a few dozen examples jump to your mind.

The challenge in all of this is remembering that the people you disagree with, even the people who are totally different from you are still human, and until we connect as humans it’s often difficult to move forward. The challenge: Will you strive to see the humanity in others?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry