Lies of P, Poison Levels, and Stress (3-20-24)

Last week was about blaming the controller vs taking accountability. This week is about Lies of P, poison levels, and stress.

My kids were watching me play, and they noticed that I started losing health. They were confused, and they asked me why I was losing health even when the monsters weren’t hitting me. I explained to them that the area I was in was full of poison (called Corruption in the game). At first, the poison doesn’t do anything. It just slowly builds up. However, once it hits a critical limit, the poison begins damaging my character, and my health quickly fades. In order to survive, I needed to equip poison resistant armor, use items that reduce poison, and find safe places where there wasn’t poison.

What does this have to do with anything? Instead of it being a level in a video game, let’s call it work or life. Instead of it being poison in a video game, let’s call it stress. Similar to my video game, the stress level builds over time. At first, I don’t even notice it. The levels rise over time, and then all of a sudden it hits HARD. Anyone else been there? When this happens, I’m no longer the person, husband, dad, friend, and employee I want to be or could be.

We are never going to live in a world without stress. However, we can try to be more cognizant of stress, our current stress levels, and what we can do. Similar to the poison armor, I know I handle stress better when I’m routinely taking care of myself. Similar to the item that takes poison away, I know that getting outside, moving my body, and talking with someone helps clear stress out of my system. Similar to needing to find a poison free space in the game, sometimes I know that I just need to step back and away from everything.

The challenge: How will you recognize and deal with rising stress levels?

Bonus vulnerability moment- The short version is that the last few months have been hard in many aspects of life. Using our analogy, my poison/stress meter had been overflowing for some time, and I wasn’t who I wanted to be. I decided to leverage our Lyra benefit and talk to a therapist for the first time. During our initial conversation I said, “I’m surviving right now, but I want more than that. I deserve more than that. My family does too. I need tools or something to help me.” It’s only been a couple of sessions so far, but I’m so thankful I reached out. I share all of this to say that if you’re talking to someone, you’re not alone AND I’m proud of you for asking for help. If you’re thinking of talking to someone, you’re not alone, AND I’m proud of you for recognizing that you might benefit from help. It’s okay to want/need help sometimes. It’s part of being human.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lies of P, Blaming the Controller, and Taking Accountability (3-13-24)

Last week was about being open to suggestions from anywhere and anyone. This week is about Lies of P, failing, and blaming the controller vs taking accountability.

I died dozens of times when playing Lies of P. You can imagine how frustrating it was to fall short over and over again. When I died in the video game the easiest thing to do was to blame the controller. Obviously, I did all the right things, the controller is just bad (#sarcasm). While that might make me feel better and absolve me of any accountability, it also takes away my power to improve. If I truly put all the responsibility on the controller, then the only way the problem can be resolved is if the controller is magically fixed, which isn’t going to happen. This means I’m now stuck and powerless in that situation. However, if I’m willing to take accountability, then I have the power to change. I can begin to look at the root cause, and then find a way forward. Maybe that means I need to change my attack strategy. Maybe that means I need to level up my character. Maybe it means I need to increase my understanding of the game mechanics and how to use them. Maybe it means I need to ask for help.

What does this have to do with anything? Have you ever fallen short at work? I know I have. When you fell short have you ever “blamed the controller” instead of taking personal accountability? Did you ever blame the situation, the leader, the lack of clear direction, a teammate, or someone or something else? I know I have. Similar to our video game story, when I put all the responsibility on external circumstances or people, I also give up my power to fix things. However, if I’m willing to take accountability, then I have the power to change. I could look at the failure and understand the root cause. Maybe, I lacked an understanding of what I needed to accomplish, which means in the future I can ask better questions. Maybe, I didn’t have the skills, which means I can improve my skillsets and ask for help. Maybe I totally misunderstood the situation, which means I could do a better job of slowing down and figuring things out first. Maybe, I had conflicting direction, which means I can pull those people in the room and say, “I’m hearing you say X. I’m hearing you say Y. We need to decide what the path is.” The bottom line is if I take accountability, then I claim my power to change things instead of being at the whim of external forces and circumstances.

The challenge: Will you take accountability or will you “blame the controller”?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lies of P and Being Open to Suggestions (3-6-24)

Last week was about Lies of P and scoping out a situation. This week is about being open to suggestions from anyone and anywhere.

I was fighting the Rabbit Brotherhood, and had died multiple times. No matter what I did, I was just too slow, and my stamina was too low to get in more than 1 or 2 attacks at any given time. I was super frustrated. Alice watched me do the boss battle a few times and she said, “It looks like your character is over capacity. I think that’s making you slow.” I didn’t even entertain her comment. I told her she was wrong. I explained that I’ve played multiple games in this genre, and she just wasn’t right. I bet you see where this is going. Sure enough. I was over capacity, which made me slow. I fixed that problem and easily won that fight. If only I would have listened sooner.

What does this have to do with anything? In the above story, I instantly discounted what Alice said, because I assumed she didn’t know enough. She didn’t have MY experience and expertise, so there was no way that her thoughts were valid. Have you ever done this with someone at work? I know I have. Maybe it was the new team member, and you told yourself they didn’t know enough yet. Maybe it was a cross-functional partner, and you wrote them off because they had stepped out of their lane. Maybe it was someone you had disagreed with before, so you just assumed everything they said was wrong.

While it’s true that Alice did not have the expertise or experience that I had, this doesn’t mean that her ideas were instantly invalid. She was able to use her observational skills to see something I had missed. I’m not saying that I should have instantly accepted her thought. I am saying that I should have at least been open to it. If I would have been open to it, I would have seen she was right. In a similar way, when we hear something from someone at work who is less tenured or maybe doesn’t have our expertise, we don’t have to automatically agree with them, but we should be open minded enough to hear them out and give their thoughts a chance.

The challenge: How will you stay open to suggestions from anywhere and anyone?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lies of P and Scoping out a Situation Before Taking Action (2-28-24)

Last week was about Lies of P and expecting difficulties. This week is about boss fights and the importance of understanding the situation before sprinting forward.

I had made it through the first few bosses without much trouble and then I ran into Fuoco, the King’s Flame. It was a giant incinerator like puppet (robot). I went all in and was super aggressive for my first attempt. It didn’t go well. He quickly killed me. After that, I switched up my approach. I started playing more cautiously and slowly for a few rounds. My kids saw this, thought it was weird, and asked why I wasn’t rushing in aggressively again to win. I explained to them that I wasn’t trying to win the fight right now. Right now, I was trying to better understand what I was up against. I was spending time learning his moves and finding his weak spots. I knew that after I had a better understanding of the fight, I would be able to be successful. Sure enough, when I finally went all in, I was able to get him down to about 10% of his health before he ever hit me the first time. My kids were amazed at how I was virtually flawless in the battle. (I’m virtually flawless in life too, so they shouldn’t have been surprised 😉)

What does this have to do with anything? In the above story, I quickly failed because I didn’t know what I was up against. If I would have kept charging in super aggressively then it would have taken me a long time before I was able to win that battle. I would have kept failing over and over again, because in my rush to move fast I would not have been learning the critical things about the boss fight to be successful. Investing time in approaching the situation more slowly, so I could understand it, ultimately enabled me to move faster toward success.

Now let’s look at the parallels with work. Have you ever had a project or assignment where you just went blindly barging in full steam ahead? How did that turn out for you? I’ve done that and it never works out particularly well. When I just rush in, I often fail to understand the true problem or miss important bits of information, and both lead to failure. Throughout my career, I’ve had to learn that the most important thing I can do for any project is understand what we are trying to accomplish, why, with whom, and how the deliverable is going to be used. I’ve learned that if I invest the time to slow down to understand those things, then I will be able to be faster and more successful in the future.

The challenge: Will you be willing to take your time to understand the situation before trying to charge forward?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lies of P and Expecting Difficulties (2-21-24)

This week we will kick off a series inspired by a video game I recently played call Lies of P. Our first entry is about expecting difficulties.

Lies of P (click for the trailer) is a darker reimagining of Pinocchio. You play as Pinocchio in a world where robots, called puppets, have gained sentience, and turned against humans. On top of all of this, there is some mysterious plague going around and other foul forces at play. Anway, I was playing the game and was dying A LOT. Alice, my daughter, noticed this and said, “You’re failing a lot. Why aren’t you getting upset at the game?” I thanked her for pointing out that I was failing so much 😉, and then I explained, “I’m not upset, because this game is exactly what I thought it would be. From the trailers and what I heard about the game I knew it would be a cool/creepy story, interesting game mechanics, and HARD bosses. I went into it assuming that I would fail a lot and that I would have to get good in order to make it. Now if a Mario game was this hard, I’d be super upset, because Mario games don’t position themselves to be soul crushing games. However, this game from the beginning has made it clear that it is about being tough and challenging players. I also went into the game knowing I’d feel awesome once I made it through the game’s challenges. ”

What does this have to do with anything? I wasn’t frustrated with the game, because I EXPECTED it to be difficult. I EXPECTED to run into challenges that I wouldn’t get past on the first, second, or even tenth try. Since I expected these things, I wasn’t upset when they happened. I understood that the failed attempts were just the price you have to pay before you can do great stuff.

Now think about a time when you were frustrated at work. Were you frustrated because it was difficult OR were you frustrated because you didn’t expect it to be difficult? There’s a big difference. I’ve found when I get the most frustrated at work, it’s usually because I didn’t expect that situation to be difficult. It’s because I’ve assumed that things would be smooth sailing. As I’ve matured over my career, I’ve learned to expect bumps. I’ve learned to expect things to go sideways. I’ve come to appreciate that the job isn’t doing all the things in the job description, but dealing with all of the unexpected stuff that pops up as you try to do the things listed in the job description. I’ve learned to expect things to be challenging, so I’m not thrown off when they are. I’ve learned that going through the bumps and obstacles is the price you pay to do great things, and how amazing it feels to achieve something after struggling through obstacles.

The challenge: How will you readjust your expectations to expect difficulties?

Side note: If you are into Soulslike games and haven’t tried Lies of P yet, I’d definitely recommend it. It is one of my favorite games in that genre that I’ve played and I’m pumped to say that I actually beat it!

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

King Knight and Knowing Your Limits (4-12-23)

Last week was about Super Mario 3D World and working together. This week is about King Knight and knowing your limits.

The other day my son, Cam, came up to me and said, “How early do you need to start work tomorrow?” I asked him why he wanted to know. He told me that he was stuck on a particular level of King Knight, a Shovel Knight spin-off, and needed my help. I smiled and told him I’d give him a hand. The next morning, I helped him get past a particularly tricky part and got him to a checkpoint. From there he kept playing on his own. Eventually, he reached the boss of the stage. The first time he faced the boss, he lost pretty quickly. The 2^nd and 3^rd times, he lasted a bit longer. He kept dying, and I thought he’d ask for help, but he didn’t. He kept trying again and again, slowly making progress, until ultimately, he defeated the boss. He was so proud of himself. (Just look at his “I just dominated” pose 😉)

What does this have to do with life? This is a story about Cam understanding his limits and responding accordingly. He knew there was a part of the level that was way beyond his current skills, and that he would not be able to get past it on its own. He was brave enough to ask for help to get past that part. Later, he came to a challenge that was just a little bit past his current skillset. He could have asked for help then, but he knew it would rob him of his chance to accomplish something within his grasp. Instead of asking for help, he trusted himself and kept trying until he eventually succeeded.

I hope we can all be a bit more like Cam. I hope we can assess situations and realize that sometimes they are more than we can handle. In those moments, I hope we are brave enough to ask for help. Other times, I hope we have enough grit to know that we might fail a few times, but we will find a way to do this on our own.

The challenge: How well do you know your limits? Will you ask for help at the right time?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Super Mario 3D World and Working Together (4-6-23)

Last week was about video games and diagnosing the situation before offering any advice. This week is about Super Mario 3D World and the challenges of working together.

Super Mario 3D World is our latest 4 player family video game. It’s a cute adventure with Mario, Luigi, Toad, and Peach who work together to stop Bowser. It’s also an INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING game at times. How can something so cute and joyous be so frustrating? It’s all because the actions of the characters impact each other, so it’s easy to get blindsided and knocked off track. You might run into another character and accidentally knock them off the edge to their doom. You might go to one side of the screen, making the screen follow you, so no one else can see what they are doing, leading to their death. You might get lost in all of the chaos and get ambushed by a lowly goomba. In order to survive, we have to be able to look at our own character and how everyone else is moving. We also have to spend a lot of time coordinating and communicating. Sometimes, we even have to pause the game to talk about what we need to do, so we are all on the same page. This is the only way to capture the flag at the end of each level to advance.

What if work is just like Super Mario 3D World? Think about it. You have multiple players with various skill levels who all have their own power-ups and abilities. Everyone is racing to a goal. Your actions impact you and others around you and vice versa. Have you ever been blindsided by actions of a “player”? Maybe, you’ve been hit by an unexpected process at the worst time. Maybe, you were trying to zig, while everyone else was zagging. Maybe, you had a deadline ambush you from behind a corner. Maybe, you made a decision that had unintended ramifications down the road. I know all these things have happened to me. Like my family playing Super Mario 3D World, in order to be successful you have to understand your role AND look at the big picture to see how it all fits together with other players. You need to spend time communicating with the other players. Sometimes, you might even have to pause and slow things down to ensure everyone is aligned on the end goal. That’s the only way to win.

The challenge: How are you integrating with all of the players in your game? What are you doing to ensure everyone is working together?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Video Games and Diagnosing the Situation (3-29-23)

This week we are going to kick off a series inspired by video games I’ve played with my kids. This week is about diagnosing the situation before offering any coaching or guidance.

The other day my kids were playing Shovel Knight, and they were struggling with a boss. It would have been easy to take the controller from them and do it myself, but that wouldn’t help them develop skills. Whenever I see them struggling, I go through a series of questions to identify the problem. First, I ask them what they are trying to accomplish. If they are clear here, we move to the second question, and I ask them if they even want to accomplish that thing. Sometimes they do, and sometimes they just want to do other side missions for fun. Assuming they want to accomplish the goal, I go to the third question, and I ask them if they know HOW to accomplish the goal. Assuming they are good here, I go to the final question and ask if they are capable of doing the thing. Turns out they knew what to achieve and wanted to do it, they just didn’t know HOW to do it. Once I helped them there, they had the physical skills to do so, and they ended up defeating the boss and advancing.

You might be wondering where this is going. In the video game example above, I give my kids guidance, based on the specific issue they have. For example, building their skills to do something is very different from helping them gain clarity on the objective. There is a sequence of things we need to work through, so they can perform at their best and I need to meet them where they are. Now reflect on work for a moment. When you give advice/coaching to someone, do you ever jump right in without fully understanding the situation? I’ve done this. What happens when you do this? I’ve found that when I jump right in without diagnosing the situation, I often solve the wrong problem. If I solve the wrong problem, then the advice/coaching is not relevant, and the issue still isn’t solved.

The challenge- Will you take the time to diagnose the situation before providing advice/coaching?

Bonus 1: My flow chart of questions to diagnose the issue.

Bonus 2: Shovel Knight: Treasure Trove is an AWESOME indie game. It’s kind of like a different take on Megaman. I’d highly recommend it.

Bonus 3: This blog is partially inspired by takeaways from the book: Coaching for Improved Work Performance by Ferdinand Fournies. The book helps you be more methodical in diagnosing issues.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Super Mario, Warp Pipes, and Looking for New Ways of Doing Things (3-23-22)

Happy Wednesday,

This is the last entry in our Super Mario series. We started with Super Stars and how we aren’t always invincible. We looked at Luigi and being brave enough to face fear. We thought about leveraging strengths and being curious about each other. This week is about Super Mario, secret warp zones, and looking for different ways of doing things.

The original Super Mario Brothers game was a simple side scrolling game. When I first played the game as a little kid, I assumed that I would need to fight through EVERY single level. The layout and design for the first level made it clear that the screen would scroll in one direction and that I needed to reach the flag at the end of each level to complete it. I ASSUMED I would need to repeat this process over and over and over again. However, I was wrong. If you kept your eyes open and tried new things, you could find hidden passages aka warp zones that could enable you to skip entire worlds. See the picture.

What does this have to do with anything? While work isn’t a side scrolling video game, it is a system comprised of standard rules, approaches, processes, and frameworks that we use daily. In some ways, all those things help us move faster. However, sometimes, those things become programming that we start to follow without realizing it. Similar to my experience with Mario, we get so used to the way things are designed that we don’t question if those rules, approaches, processes, and frameworks are always the best ones. One of my mantras is “There is always the hidden option.” It doesn’t mean that I necessarily know what the hidden option is. It doesn’t mean that the hidden option is always best. Instead, it’s a constant reminder that I shouldn’t allow myself to become so comfortable in the status quo that I stop searching for something better. Who knows if exploring a little bit outside of the status quo might help us find our own warp zone to better serve our customers?

The challenge: Will you break the status quo and keep your eyes open for a new way of doing things?

Bonus real world example: Last fall I had A, B, C workstreams I wanted to work on in parallel. I was told that our processes dictated that I only do one at a time, so I’d have to do A then B then C. Doing the projects in this way was the standard approach, but it would also add weeks to our timelines and make us miss our deadlines. Instead of accepting this, I researched the process. I realized technically we could work on A, B, and C simultaneously, even though we normally didn’t do it that way. I called the person who owned the process, explained the situation, and how we could work on A, B, and C at the same time and still be compliant with the process. They basically said, “That’s different, but you can still do it. I just need you to email Bob and then make a note in the system about this, so we remember.” All of a sudden, the things that couldn’t be done because of the process were now being done. We were able to work on A, B, and C to hit our deadlines, and all I ended up doing was researching a process, having an extra conversation, and sending an email. It was about 30 minutes of work to shave weeks off our timeline. It’s all because I kept my eyes open for the hidden option when I hit a wall, and I found that warp pipe to get us to where we needed to be.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Shy Guy and Allowing Ourselves to be Curious (3-16-22)

Last week was about leveraging our strengths and the strengths of others. This week is about Shy Guy and allowing ourselves to be curious.

Shy Guy is a relatively minor side character and Super Mario enemy. See the image. A few years ago, I stumbled across an image of Shy Guy and I paused. This character I had known since I was a little kid, now had piqued my curiosity. There was something intriguing about a character wearing a mask and robe. As I looked at him, I began to wonder. What is his story? What are some of his favorite memories? How does he feel about things? As I explored my curiosity, I began to write different things. “Shy Guy doesn’t talk much but has journals full of sweet love poems.” and “Shy Guy wears a mask, so the world can’t see him snickering.” From there I began to write poems further exploring who he is. As I did this, I quickly realized this quirky character had more depth than I ever imagined. (Poems are at the bottom of this blog if you’re intrigued.)

What does this have to do with anything? I gave myself permission to be curious about Shy Guy and it led me to explore and better understand a character I had never given a second thought to. We live in a world focused on speed and rushing, which often interferes with our ability to slow down and be curious. Imagine what would happen if we gave ourselves permission to be more curious about our work and the people we work with. Imagine how we would have a deeper appreciation for each other if we gave ourselves permission to spend a few more valuable minutes trying to understand someone’s story, their motivation, and the way they see the world. Imagine how much stronger our relationships would be. Imagine how much more beauty we would see.

The challenge: Are you giving yourself permission to be curious and explore?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Shy Guy Poems

Shy Guy and Soul Music
3 months. 13 days.
Shy Guy sneaks around his house.
Stealthy.
Silent.
He doesn’t want the curtains to know.
He pounces, shutting them.
The house entirely dark
he stumbles over furniture to find the light.
He curses as he trips.
He peeks outside one more time.
No one is watching.

He blows the dust off the record player.
Memories float up into the air with the dirt specks.

He thinks of his mother,
clutching his hand and his teddy.
Showing them how to twist.
The pearls around her neck
moving in time with the music.

Shy Guy has never been to church,
but is convinced this is soul music.
James Brown.
Funk starts hitting Shy Guy like a wrecking ball,
making the walls he built around himself crumble.

Slowly.
His foot starts tapping.
Slowly.
He smiles again.
Slowly.
He begins peeling back the curtains.

Andrew Embry 2010

Shy Guy Haiku 1

Mask over his mouth.

Hooded robe over body.

He tells no secrets.

Shy Guy Haiku 2

Black holes for his eyes.

Nothing escapes his strong gaze.

No words leave his mouth.

Shy Guy Haiku 3

Mario villain.

Koopa henchman is a monk.

Meek inherit earth.

(Shy Guy) Mask over Heaven

His blackhole eyes consume literary galaxies
with stars and the heavens swirling.
Gravity so strong words cannot escape him.
Not even these,
so fragile
with black ink so faded.
He puts down Milton for the night.

His fingers fiddle with folds of his fierce fire fleece hooded robe.
He places the book down on his nightstand.
His mask beside it.
His beads are already on the door
moving with the night breeze like purple butterfly wings.
With the cloister so quiet
he ruminates
on his own paradise lost.

Andrew Embry 2010

(Shy Guy) Unzipping Closed Secrets

He only speaks before bedtime.
Shy Guy whispers secrets into ziploc bags.
Presses his fingers hard together
sealing every last syllable in tight.

She receives the gift.
Shy Guy blushes burgundy in a white mask.
Surprise!
How can empty ziploc bags weigh so much?

Andrew Embry 2010