Rabbit Holes and Perspective (8-7-25)

This is a bonus blog, because the universe said someone needs this today. If you’re the one, just know the universe heard you. This blog is about falling down rabbit holes, taking a step back, gaining perspective, and realizing you’re doing pretty well.

Let me start this by saying I’m not trying to fish for compliments or anything. I just want to be real about the head space I was in. I started my week with these thoughts going through my head, “I have a lot of stuff I need to get done. I’m feeling behind. Here is a whole list of things that aren’t quite going right that need to be fixed. This is not good.” I was in a bit of a rabbit hole. Have any of you been in that headspace? Not a fun place to be.

Then, something interesting happened. I was in a situation where someone was showering me with praise and recognition. They were publicly telling this story like, “Andrew is so awesome. He’s doing great work and it’s providing a lot of value.” All of that punched the negative mindset I had right in the face and shifted my perspective. I went from, “This is not good” to “In the grand scheme of things, stuff is going pretty well. I should feel really great about where I am and what I’m doing.” I also challenged myself to realize that in the grand scheme of things, all of those little things I was worried about don’t matter or detract from what I’m doing.

How does this connect to our day to day? It’s easy for one slip up, one imperfect thing to lead us down a rabbit hole to wallowing in a bad mindset. Once we are sliding down this rabbit hole, it’s easy to lose perspective on how things are truly going. Sometimes, we need to take a step back to look at the situation. Sometimes, we need an external force to help us see the truth of things too.

The challenge: Will you challenge a bad mindset when it starts to set in? Will you help others challenge their bad mindsets when they are stuck in a rabbit hole?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting, Obstacle Course Races, and Tailoring Support (6-19-24)

Last week was about Alice’s wisdom, “Have a day you can be proud of.” This week is a story about parenting, obstacle course racing, and tailoring support. Shout out to Mud Run – Hollis Adams for putting on such a fabulous family friendly event.

On Saturday, Alice joined me for her first ever obstacle course race. To say that she was nervous would be a major understatement. I told her it was okay to be nervous, and that I’d be there beside her. I explained that I wasn’t going to swoop in and do the obstacles for her, but I would be there to help her if she needed it. Sometimes, helping her looked like me giving her advice on how to attempt an obstacle. Sometimes, support looked like me giving her a boost, so she could get her footing while climbing a muddy creek bank. Sometimes, support looked like me saying, “I know you’re scared because you’re on top of this tall wall. You can still do this. I’m here. Just swing your leg over.” Sometimes, support looked like me just cheering her on and high fiving her for conquering an obstacle. By the end of the race, we had achieved our goals, and Alice was so excited and proud of herself. I was super pumped too! (The picture on the right is out before picture. The after picture is at the bottom).

What does this have to do with anything? There were several times where Alice was nervous or flat out scared. It would have been EASY for me to do all the work for her, but that would have robbed her of a chance to grow and see what she was capable of. Instead of doing it for her, I helped and offered support. That support took different forms based on HER needs in that specific moment. Now think about work for a minute. The best leaders I ever had weren’t the ones who swooped in and saved me from a challenge. The best leaders I ever had were the ones who knew how to tailor their support to the situation. Sometimes, I needed explicit direction, because I was lost. Sometimes, I needed a thought partner to challenge my assumptions. Sometimes, I just needed someone to say, “I trust you. Go get’em!”

The challenge: How will you tailor the coaching and support you give to people?

Bonus lesson- I mentioned that Alice was nervous about the race. In particular, she was worried about what would happen if she wasn’t strong enough to handle an obstacle. She’s a planner and needed to know how things would work out. I needed her to trust that I was strong and able to help her in any situation. Here’s what I did. I came home after my 20 miles of racing, and said, “I did 20 miles of racing yesterday. I’m at my weakest and most tired point. I need you to know that even now, I’m strong enough to support you. I want you to know that I’ve helped boost and lift people who are my size, so you’ll be easy. We are going to practice, so you know how this will work.” From there, we practiced me giving her boosts and lifting her up. I even had her sit on my shoulders while I squatted her for reps. I walked around the house with her on my shoulders, so she knew I could carry her. I know this all sounds ridiculous, but those actions showed her that she could trust my strength. She realized that if I was able to do that when I was tired and weak, I’d be even better when I was rested up for our race. As a leader, I’m not asking you to pick up people and squat them for reps (I’m pretty sure HR would frown on that 😉). I am asking you to consider what you could do to inspire trust in the people you lead.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lies of P, Blaming the Controller, and Taking Accountability (3-13-24)

Last week was about being open to suggestions from anywhere and anyone. This week is about Lies of P, failing, and blaming the controller vs taking accountability.

I died dozens of times when playing Lies of P. You can imagine how frustrating it was to fall short over and over again. When I died in the video game the easiest thing to do was to blame the controller. Obviously, I did all the right things, the controller is just bad (#sarcasm). While that might make me feel better and absolve me of any accountability, it also takes away my power to improve. If I truly put all the responsibility on the controller, then the only way the problem can be resolved is if the controller is magically fixed, which isn’t going to happen. This means I’m now stuck and powerless in that situation. However, if I’m willing to take accountability, then I have the power to change. I can begin to look at the root cause, and then find a way forward. Maybe that means I need to change my attack strategy. Maybe that means I need to level up my character. Maybe it means I need to increase my understanding of the game mechanics and how to use them. Maybe it means I need to ask for help.

What does this have to do with anything? Have you ever fallen short at work? I know I have. When you fell short have you ever “blamed the controller” instead of taking personal accountability? Did you ever blame the situation, the leader, the lack of clear direction, a teammate, or someone or something else? I know I have. Similar to our video game story, when I put all the responsibility on external circumstances or people, I also give up my power to fix things. However, if I’m willing to take accountability, then I have the power to change. I could look at the failure and understand the root cause. Maybe, I lacked an understanding of what I needed to accomplish, which means in the future I can ask better questions. Maybe, I didn’t have the skills, which means I can improve my skillsets and ask for help. Maybe I totally misunderstood the situation, which means I could do a better job of slowing down and figuring things out first. Maybe, I had conflicting direction, which means I can pull those people in the room and say, “I’m hearing you say X. I’m hearing you say Y. We need to decide what the path is.” The bottom line is if I take accountability, then I claim my power to change things instead of being at the whim of external forces and circumstances.

The challenge: Will you take accountability or will you “blame the controller”?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry