Embracing the Grimy Path to Success (10-8-25)

This week we are going to kick off some reflections from my recent obstacle course race at Midwest OCR. Our first topic is embracing the grimy path to success.

Here is the picture of me after my most recent obstacle course race. I’m smiling, striking a pose, looking strong, and proudly wearing my medal. This picture makes it look like I smoothly and effortlessly navigated the race in a perfect fashion. None of that is true. My race was ugly. You don’t see how I failed quite a few obstacles. You don’t see me red faced and feeling like I was dying on some of those hills. You don’t see the time I tripped and slid down a hill into a knee-deep mud bog that swallowed my legs and almost took my shoes. You don’t see the bruises I picked up along the way. Now that you know those things, does this make me any less successful? For me, just because it might have been a little ugly doesn’t take away from the fact that I was ultimately successful.

Let’s make some connections. Have you ever looked at a successful person and said, “Whoa! They have it all figured out. They just make success look so smooth and effortless. They must be perfect”? I know I have. Then the next thing I did was start comparing myself to them, which led to self-doubt. I would feel like a failure if everything I did wasn’t effortless and smooth. As I’ve got older, I’ve realized that success doesn’t come from things being flawless. Success is the result of continuing to persevere, especially when things are grimy and ugly.

The challenge: Will you embrace that success doesn’t have to be pristine? Will you embrace that the path to success is often grimy and ugly?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Building Houses and Pacing vs Pushing Yourself (10-1-25)

This wasn’t the blog I intended to write this week, but I was driving into work on Tuesday and the universe told me this is the story that needs told. This week is about building houses and the balance between pushing and pacing yourself.

Pretend for a minute that you build houses. You’ve been building a house since January 1^st. It’s a large and difficult job, and you’ve been grinding day in and day out. So far, you’ve made good progress. Now you find out there will need to be some last-minute changes on top of the unfinished work you already have. You know you should pace yourself, but there is so much stuff to do that you begin overly pushing yourself. You are working hard and working long hours. You get tired. Your work gets a little sloppy. At one point you’re so tired that as you are hammering nails you hit your hand and break all the bones in it. You get the house done before the end of the year, but it’s not exactly your best work, you have broken bones, and you are spending the end of the year hoping you can heal a bit before starting the process all over again.

Let’s make some connections. We may not be building houses, but I think it’s safe to say that we all have been running hard this year. It’s been another year of high expectations and doing more with less. I’ve seen all of us work and push and work and push to deliver for the people we serve. With all that said, we are now kicking off Q4, and that is always a mad dash to the end of the year. In the midst of this mad dash, I want us to finish strong, not broken. I want us to finish the year and be ready for rest, not needing to heal whether that is physically or mentally. What we build matters, AND the people who do the building matter too.

The challenge: How can ensure you are pacing yourself vs pushing yourself to the point where it becomes hazardous to your health?

Bonus challenge: If you are a leader, how are you setting up the environment so your people can deliver without harming themselves?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Making the Most of a Situation (9-17-25)

Last week was about two people being in the same situation and seeing it differently. This week is about making the most of a situation.

Alice was a colicky baby and every night around 6 or 7, they’d spend an hour screaming their lungs out. My wife felt horrible about the inconvenience of having a screaming baby in my parents’ house. My wife also underestimated how weird my dad is. Alice was in the middle of screaming their head off. My dad could have been irritated, but instead he took this as a challenge. My dad decided that this would be a contest between him and Alice to see who was the loudest. He starts being loud too. At first Alice was stunned, and then they roared in defiance. However, my dad was not going to lose. He went all in, making weird faces, funny noises, and wildly gesturing. Alice goes from screaming to laughing and shrieking from pure delight. They keep going to see who can be the loudest and silliest. Soon, everyone in the house is giggling at the absurdity of it all. This became their nightly ritual for the entire time we lived with my parents, and now it’s one of our favorite memories.

Let’s connect some dots. Let’s be honest. If you’ve ever been in a room with a screaming baby, it’s not exactly fun. It would have been easy to be irritated and grumpy. It would have been easy to look at this like a moment to just suffer through. However, my dad decided to turn this into something else. He turned it into a game, which became enjoyable for everybody. Think about yourself for a minute. How often do you allow yourself to be totally stuck in a situation? How often do you allow yourself to become irritated and grumpy at something that isn’t going well? How often do you approach things with a negative mindset, when you have the power to make something different out of the moment?

The challenge: What will you make out of the moments you are given?

Bonus story- If you are thinking my dad has stopped playing weird games like that, you’re wrong. His new favorite game is to make cringeworthy dad jokes that make a teenage Alice roll their eyes. Yes, he is very successful at this. (I wonder where I get it from 😉)

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting and Setting Incentives (2-19-25)

Last week was about parenting, cleaning the house, and being flexible. This week is about parenting and creating incentives.

We already have 2 cats in our house, but my son Cameron (11) really wants his own cat. My wife and I ultimately agreed that he could get one for his 12^th birthday. Cam, ever the negotiator, talked to his to uncover what he could do to get it sooner and said he was willing to do anything to make this happen. My wife and I saw this as an opportunity to provide an incentive for Cam to do the right thing to earn the cat sooner.

Before setting the incentive, the first thing my wife and I did was talk about our overarching goal for Cam, which is for him to grow up to be a kind and compassionate self-sufficient human. From there, we got VERY SPECIFIC about what behaviors he could work on building now that would lead to this. Based on our understanding of our son, we settled on three things. First, we wanted him to get better at doing his chores without being asked or reminded, because this would help him learn how to take care of himself and his future house. Second, we wanted to help him get better at stepping outside of his comfort zone, which in this case includes trying new foods which is really hard for him. Third, we wanted him to continue to develop the ability to advocate for himself in situations, whether that is clearly expressing a boundary or just speaking up for himself. With these things in mind, I developed a point system and Excel sheet tracker that shows his progress over time. If he does those three things relatively consistently he will get his cat early. We talked to Cam about these things, and he’s on board. We even through in some extra hard bonus things worth a lot of points, and he’s strongly considering doing those things too.

How does this connect with anything? Often when we think of incentives we think of base pay, bonuses, or some other compensation. However, in my experience, we don’t do the best job thinking about the behaviors we are trying to drive in a culture or an organization. Then, since we haven’t truly thought about the behaviors we are trying to drive, we don’t have a way to directly link those behaviors with incentives (compensation, bonuses, verbal praise, Inspire points, etc.). Without that direct link, it’s difficult to reinforce the behaviors we want to see, which makes it hard to drive behavior change.

The challenge- Do you know what behaviors you are trying to drive? Do your incentives connect to those behaviors?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Bonus Blog- The Power of Kind Words

Bonus blog entry for the week about the power of kind words. In my blog last week I talked about how I didn’t feel I accomplished all the things I wanted to in January. If I’m being honest, life and work kicked my butt the entire month. It felt like I was juggling balls, all of them were glass, and I was letting quite a few of them fall and shatter. In the midst of feeling like an utter failure, one of my partners sent me this email.

“I could tell you have a lot going on for you this week, and it seems like you’ve been under a lot of stress. I just wanted to pop in to say that you’re doing a great job, and you’re easily one of my favorite clients to work with. You handle yourself so well and I value our partnership a lot. Keep being awesome and have a great weekend!”

What does this have to do with anything? Have you ever felt like you were a total failure? That’s where I was, and then I received that email. I can’t begin to tell you how much I needed that message, especially because this partner is one of the ones I felt I was failing the most. That short message changed the trajectory of my week and is carrying me into this week. This short email reminded me of two things. First, we are likely never as big of a failure as we feel like we are. Second, there is a lot of power in sharing an uplifting message with someone.

The challenge- Lift someone up today. Write them a short message showing them some love and appreciation. Create a positive ripple in the universe.

Bonus- If no one has told you lately, YOU’RE AWESOME! You are being so strong in the midst of all kinds of swirl, change, and challenges. YOU ARE ENOUGH and you are a gloriously beautiful messy human 😉

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

I Hope We are all like The Grinch (12-11-24)

This will be the last blog of 2024. If you’ve been on this distribution list for a while, you might recognize that I usually end the year with this entry. I feel it is just as relevant now as it was in years past. Besides, we watch the same holiday specials every year, so we can revisit the same holiday themed blogs, right? 😉 For our final blog of the year we will look at How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

During this holiday season I hope we are all like the Grinch. Pretty strange thing to say, right? Let me explain why I feel this way. You may know the story of the Grinch. He is a grumpy creature who decides he will try to steal Christmas from the Whos. He concocts an elaborate scheme and then steals all of the presents, decorations, etc. in an effort to ruin their holiday. This negative attitude is what we often associate with the Grinch, but this isn’t the end of his story. The Grinch grows as a character, and life is all about growing, changing, and becoming better.

The Grinch has stolen the gifts, and then he hears the Whos singing. All of a sudden it hits him right as his sleigh full of gifts starts to go over the cliff. “And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say – that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day. And then – the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of *ten* Grinches, plus two!” He saves the gifts from falling over the cliff, rides into Whoville, and serves the roast beast at the feast.

The reason I hope we are all like the Grinch this year is because he grows and becomes a better person. He begins filled with apathy, malice, and grumpiness, and then he allows love in and it fundamentally changes him. How have you changed and grown this year? Wherever you are right now, we have the chance to be better. Imagine how different the world be if all of our hearts grew like the Grinch’s.

Here is to all of us knowing what it feels like when our hearts grow three sizes in a day.

As always, thanks so much for reading. Your reading and encouragement throughout the year is the best gift I could ever ask for. Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, and happy holidays for anything you might be celebrating! I hope you disconnect and recharge. I hope you find peace, love, and fulfillment.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Valentine’s Day and Reflections on Love (2-14-24)

On top of it being Wednesday, it is also Valentine’s Day. With that in mind, this week I want to share a few miscellaneous reflections on love.

This is going to sound weird. I’m convinced that emptying the dishwasher is one of the most loving things I do for my wife. She HATES dealing with dishes. She hates having to put them up. She hates having a counter full of dishes. Because of all of this, I try my best every morning to make sure I’ve emptied the dishwasher and cleared the counter before she wakes up. It won’t ever make it on a hallmark card, but it’s a gesture of love. Sometimes, showing love is about being a good partner.

Over the weekend, Diane made ravioli and Texas toast. I sat at the table and saw a plate full of Texas toast, and then I heard the oven timer go off. I was confused why that was happening when the bread was right in front of me. Diane said, “That timer is for your pieces.” She knows I like mine a little crispier than they like theirs, so she left mine in the oven a few extra minutes. The result was garlic perfection. Sometimes, showing love is paying attention to small things and proactively taking action.

Earlier in my marriage, Diane didn’t always feel that I listened to her, which was always surprising to me, because I would take in what she was saying and come up with great ways to address her issues. The problem is that most of the time, she didn’t want solutions, she just wanted to be heard. I learned that I needed to do a better job of asking and understanding what she wanted. Did she want to vent? Was she looking for empathy? Was she looking for suggestions and solutions? I now ask her those questions when I’m unclear, so I can ensure I’m listening to her in the right way. Sometimes, showing love is about listening and ensuring they feel heard.

My wife is phenomenal, and what she does day to day teaching and helping our kids grow is nothing short of a miracle. It’s a bummer that they don’t give awards and Inspire points for things like that. That’s why the most important thing I can do is make sure she knows how much I appreciate her. This might be a hug. It might be a small surprise. It might be a simple text telling her that she is crushing it as a parent. Sometimes, showing love is about showing appreciation.

I don’t know about you, but I have bad days sometimes. I even have bad weeks or months, where I fall a bit out of it, get lost, and become frustrated and angry at myself. Eventually, I remember to love myself again, which is important because you can’t love others if you don’t love yourself first. Sometimes, showing love is about first remembering that you are always worthy of love.

What do these reflections have to do with anything? Here’s the secret. All of the above examples are about my love for my wife, AND they all apply to every other relationship I’m in whether that is friendships with college buddies or working partnerships with co-workers. They likely apply to every single relationship you are in too.

The challenge- How will you show love to others?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting and Showing Appreciation (3-24-21)

Last week was about parenting and prioritization. This week is about parenting and showing appreciation.

My wife and I were hanging out in the living room with our daughters. I started to talk about how proud of them I am and how they’ve been great recently and how much we appreciate them. My girls get a little sheepish and one of them jokingly says, “Here comes the dad talk.” I laughed, gave her a huge hug and said, “Dang right it’s the dad talk!” Then, I continued to talk about how proud I am and how much I appreciate them for being who they are, because one of the most important things I can do as a dad is ensure that my girls ALWAYS know how much they are valued and loved. I try to consistently demonstrate this with my actions and my words, even if the girls give me a hard time for giving the “dad talk.”

What does this have to do with work? Similar to being a dad, one of the most important responsibilities of a leader is ensuring their people feel valued and loved. Our current environment is making it hard to do this. The world is moving so fast and as we continue to work from home we lose many of the organic touchpoints we would have to demonstrate how much we appreciate each other. With this in mind, we need to be more intentional than ever about making sure people feel valued and loved. We need to slow down and ensure these conversations are happening and that our words and actions cut through all of the noise. Imagine for a moment. What if we got so great at making people feel valued that the next time we started to tell someone we appreciate them they would interrupt us to jokingly say, “It’s the leader talk again.” 😉 Imagine how different it would feel to be at work if this was the case.

The challenge: How are you being intentional about showing appreciation and making people feel valued and loved? What action will you take TODAY?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Pumpkin Spice and Letting People Love What They Love (11-11-20)

Last week was about trying something new and making Halloween costumes. This week is about pumpkin flavored things and letting people love what they love.

As soon as it gets close to fall, the pumpkin announcements begin. You know what I’m talking about. The announcements from all the restaurants about all things pumpkin spice. Pumpkin spice lattes. Pumpkin custard and ice cream. Pumpkin flavored beer. All of a sudden, pumpkin is EVERYWHERE! Once those announcements start, there is another wave that comes. That wave is the wave of hatred for all things pumpkin and for the people who love pumpkin flavored things. It sounds like this, “Pumpkin is gross! Why in the world would you want pumpkin in your drink? Why would you ruin good ice cream with pumpkin spice?”

What does this have to do with anything? I personally don’t like pumpkin flavored anything. At the same time, if that’s your thing, you do you. One of my main philosophies in life is that as long as the thing doesn’t hurt the person or other people, let folks love what they love. If you are a person who goes pumpkin wild in the fall, go get it in! Life is too short to miss out. If you have some other fall thing you love, go get that too. Just don’t waste your time hating on the people who do love pumpkin spice. (All of this also extends to people decorating for Christmas. If you want to put those up now, enjoy! If you like to wait until after Thanksgiving, that’s cool too.)

Now, while this all is kind of silly because we are talking about pumpkin spice, can you see how it applies to other things? Have you ever judged someone because of a passion that they had? Have you ever looked at someone who believed something different than you (that didn’t really matter or negatively impact anyone) and judged them for it? I know I have. I know I can be better.

The challenge: Can you let people love what they love? More than that, can you be excited for them finding what they love?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Loving Yourself as Much as You Love Others (10-14-20)

This is the final entry in the series of lessons I learned from my wife being in the hospital. It’s about loving yourself as much as you love others.

Throughout the entire ordeal with my wife I went through an interesting downward spiral of emotions. Obviously, I was worried about her and my family. I also felt guilty that I wasn’t being a better husband, dad, friend, and employee. I wasn’t ever there at the hospital enough for her. When I was at the hospital, I wasn’t there enough for my kids. Throughout all of this I wasn’t attentive enough to what I had going on at work. I was disappointed I wasn’t doing anything well and then was disappointed that I was disappointed. Then, one night I wrote the words in the image above. I think it was supposed to be a poem, but it never quite made it. Instead, it became some truth I needed to hear.

How does this connect to anything? After weeks of feeling guilty and disappointed about being a failure, I finally looked in the mirror and realized I wasn’t giving myself the same love I’d give other people. If a friend going through similar stuff had been so hard on themselves I would have told them, “You know I love you right? I understand and appreciate your feelings. I also want you to know that you’re being completely unfair to yourself. You’re in an impossible situation. You’re being as human as you can be, and that’s exactly what you should be doing right now. I’m here for you. You are doing all the right things. Love and appreciate yourself.”

Have you ever felt the way I described in the beginning of the post? Have you ever felt guilty and disappointed in yourself, because you were being human in an impossible situation? If you have, just know you aren’t alone. If you have, I hope you learn to love yourself as you love others.

The challenge: Will you love yourself the way you love others?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry