Author: Andrew Embry

If you mixed diet mountain dew, funk music, dragons, hip hop, superheroes, and lightning in a blender you’d end up with Andrew Embry. He is part wordsmith and part alchemist, able to use his Batman utility belt to turn anything and everything into a story worth telling that is equal parts insightful, memorable, inspiring, humorous, and entertaining. Andrew is comfortably creative in almost any setting, but especially when he is performing spoken word poetry. His enthusiasm for words comes from the way he loves people and the little nuances of life that make it worth living.

Thankful for Breaking Bread (11-24-15)

This entry will be the last in the thankful series.  This week I’m thankful for the opportunity to break bread with friends and family members.

If you work on my floor you know that almost every day somewhere around 12 I go to the break area and eat my lunch at the table.  Whether it’s for 5 minutes or for 20 I step away and eat at a table every chance I get.  People have asked me why I do this.  Is it because I want a break in the day?  This is part of it, but a big part of it is I think there is something special about taking the time to eat and connect with friends and family.

As I said in the first entry in this series I believe in the power of moments.  I believe in the ability to turn a normal minute into something special.  I believe in everyday magic, and I feel that eating with friends and family is a prime example of this.  When you’re all together sharing an experience, whether it’s Thanksgiving, nightly meals at home, or just some beverages with friends it becomes more than just the time you spend together.  Whenever you get together there’s this invisible groove and connection that blossoms.

I hope that you’ll be spending Thanksgiving with friends and family this year.  If you are, I bet you could tell me right now what stories will be told.  This is part of the shared experience, part of that invisible groove.  The power isn’t in the words of the story, but the fact that we are together telling these stories. 

This week I am thankful for the opportunity to break bread with friends and family.  I hope you cherish your friends and family and have a wonderful holiday break.  By the way, if you ever see me eating at a table, know that I’ve saved a seat for you.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Thankful for Smiles and Laughter (11-18-15)

Last week I started a series about what I’m thankful for.  This week I want to share why I’m thankful for the power of smiles and laughter.  I’d like to invite you in and tell you a story about my Aunt Rhonda.  My Aunt Rhonda couldn’t have kids, so she always treated me and her other nephews and nieces like her own children.  I was her first nephew, so I was particularly spoiled.  Some of my favorite memories involve her and my uncle.  When I was a teenager they moved away to Baltimore and as you can imagine I really missed them.

My aunt and uncle returned about a year ago, moving in with my grandma, and I was excited to see my Aunt Rhonda again and watch as my girls got to know her and form their own special memories.  Sounds perfect right?  The only thing is that after she had lived here a few months there was something a little off about my aunt.  I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.  She was exhausted all the time and losing a lot of weight, but she was working a lot of hours.  Then it hit us.  A few months ago my aunt was diagnosed with cancer.  I saw her right after she was diagnosed, and I could barely recognize her.  Fast forward to treatment and the chemo and the radiation were taking their toll on her.  She couldn’t make it up the stairs.  She was bed ridden on a sofa in the living room they had turned into a couch.  This became her prison.  She wasn’t herself.  It was heart breaking to watch her go through this.

They say laughter is the best medicine.  I would repeat this to myself as I packed my daughters in the minivan.  I’d wonder if Rhonda would have the strength to see them.  I’d wonder if the girls would add too much stress.  The moment the girls entered the house magic would happen.  Their laughter and smiles would bring back the aunt I had known.  The bed that had once been my aunt’s prison was now their special island with pirate passwords, sails, and treasure.  They were snuggling and coloring, talking about cartoons, superheroes, cats and princesses.  My grandma, exhausted from taking care of my aunt, would laugh and grin, dancing and jumping around the room with the girls.  For that brief moment, everyone in the house was healed and well.

Recently my aunt saw her oncologist and learned that she is in remission.  She’s not out of the woods yet, but this is great news I’m thankful for.  My aunt called shortly after she found out and left me a voicemail.  It’s says, “I just want you to know that those girls were the best therapy I ever had.”  I hope you share a smile and a laugh with someone today.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Making each other Whole (11-11-15)

Over the next few weeks I am going to write about things that I am thankful for.  This week I am thankful for the power we all have to make each other whole.  We talk a lot about engagement.  Do we ever think about what we are trying to do when we engage people?  I feel that we often think about engaging people as a bonus, as something that is going above and beyond.  Instead, I think engaging people is essential, because it is not about going above and beyond as much as it is about filling a gap to help make people whole again.

Let’s say you wake up and everything in the world is perfect.  This is you at 100%.  You come into a stress free workplace at 100%, give it your all, everything goes swimmingly, and you stay at 100%.  Now when is the last time that happened?  Never.  Now let’s think about a real situation.  Start with you at 100%.  Start subtracting the stress you have.  You didn’t sleep.  You have kids.  You don’t have kids and people can’t respect that decision.  You’re married.  You’re single and people won’t let you enjoy being single.  You’re sick.  Life is just sucking.  Subtract all of this from the 100%.  Before you know it you are at 70-80% before you even come into work (on a good day).  Then you get into work and you have stressful projects.  You have people who are jerks and some who are doing dumb stuff.  You have people who keep changing their mind about what they want.  Subtract all of this.  Before you know it you are operating at 30-70% of what you could be.  Is that good?

It doesn’t have to be that way.  Any of us can change this.  There are people who use their power to make people whole.  They are the ones who put in a little extra something to turn that ordinary second into a moment that is meaningful.   These are the people who give you compliments, their time, hugs, or high fives.  They are the ones who send emails out of the blue or leave that unexpected treat on your desk because they were thinking about you.  Add all of these interventions together and maybe, just maybe it can help us be whole while we are here.  I’m thankful for the power we all have to help make each other whole.  How are you using your power?

Bonus thought: When we make each other whole we call it employee engagement and when we do this for our customers we call it creating experiences.  The tactics might be different, but the mindset is the same.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Dressing up for Halloween and our Different Selves (11-4-15)

Halloween was last week.  What did you dress up as?  I’ve always found dressing up for Halloween to be very fascinating.  Once a year people wear a costume, and essentially there are a few ways to do it.  You can dress up in order to conceal who you are, dress up in a way that accentuates who you are, or you can dress up as something you’ve always wanted to be.

When I was younger, my brother and I would dress up in different costumes in order to try and trick our family members.  We’d wear masks, baggy clothes, etc. because we thought it would be cool to get candy from them and then surprise them with who we are.  This year and the past few years, when I’ve dressed up it’s been to accentuate the fact that I’m a dad and part of a family.  My wife likes family costumes, so last year I was the Mad Hatter in an Alice and Wonderland theme and this year I was the Scarecrow in a Wizard of Oz theme.  One could argue that me being a Mad Hatter merely demonstrates my madness and that being a Scarecrow shows my lack of brains, but that is neither here nor there.

Think about work for a moment.  Every day we get dressed up and we can do this one of two ways.  We can either act in ways that hide who we are or we can act in ways that accentuate who we are.  The tricky part is that the costumes we wear at work aren’t as easy to spot as the ones we wear on Halloween.

Now here is where we go through a twister and end up in Oz, so stick with me.  The more I think about bringing my authentic self to work the more I wonder if it’s really about being able to bring my authentic selves or at least all of the different sides of myself.  On some days I’m the poet, brave and articulate.  Some days I’m the nervous guy filled with self-doubt.  Some days I’m the driver, focused and task oriented.  Some days I’m the joker finding humor in everything.  Some days I’m quiet, lost in thoughts.  Some days I’m all of these and more, because at my core I’m all of these things and more.

Who are you at your core?  What are your different sides?  When you dress up for work do you hide your different sides or do you accentuate them?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Feedback, Investments, and being a Good Stock (10-28-15)

Last week was about giving quality feedback when people do things well and not just when they make a mistake.  This week we’ll wrap up this series by thinking about our role in receiving feedback.

Imagine for a moment that you are investing in 2 different stocks.  The stocks have the same potential, you invest the same amount of money in them, but there are a couple of differences.  Stock A never shows you any data to let you know how the stock is doing, so you have no idea what your return on investment is.  Stock B gives you consistent updates and you realize that every time you invest money in Stock B the stock increases in value and you get a higher dividend.  Which stock would you rather invest in?

Gut check question.  Which stock are you?  You’re probably wondering what that question even means and how it connects to us at work.  Think about the last time you received quality feedback.  What did you do to show the person you valued their feedback?  What did you do to demonstrate you had actually changed?  If you didn’t do anything, then you are Stock A.  The person invested their time and effort in you, and they have no idea what happened as a result.  If you demonstrated that their words were valuable to you and you changed as a result, then you are Stock B.

Do you think the person would rather invest their time and effort in a person like Stock A or a person like Stock B?  In my experience, when I have given feedback to people and they have done something to show me that they value the input and time I gave them, it drives me to help them more.  I end up spending more time doing whatever I can to help them reach their goals.  If I don’t feel the person ever listens or changes as a result I begin to wonder if it’s even worth my time.  Have you ever felt this way?

Over my career I’ve learned that when it comes to giving feedback it’s my job to give specific and constructive feedback.  When it comes to receiving feedback, it’s my responsibility to show I’m open to receiving the feedback and that I’ll actually do something with it.

 The challenge: Which stock will you be?  Will you be a good investment?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Feedback on Mistakes vs. Successes: What’s the Difference? (10-21-15)

Last week we talked about giving feedback in the frame of personal preference and business necessity.  This week I want us to think about the intent behind giving feedback and then look at something that has always boggled my mind.

The intent behind giving feedback is to get someone to do something in order to perform.   At its simplest level, you either want the person to change what they are doing or to keep doing what they are doing in order to perform well.  In order to do this, you need to give specific feedback on what they should change or what they are doing well so the person is clear about what you and the organization values about them and how they operate.

With that said, let’s look at something that I’ve experienced that has always confused me.  Why do we often treat giving constructive criticism differently than giving positive feedback?  Two quick examples.  If I mess something up the feedback might be something like, “Andrew, this isn’t really what we are looking for.  I think you should have asked more questions in the beginning to gain clarity, and then you could have used that information to shape this.”  People usually tell me what I did wrong and at least one specific thing I could tweak.  If I do well on something the feedback might be like, “Andrew, you did a great job on this!”  I leave that conversation having no idea what they valued.  Did they value the teamwork?  Did they value the thinking behind it?  Who knows?

Does this feel familiar to you?  I feel that I get more specific feedback when I mess something up compared to the generic good job I get when things go well.  This is important to understand, because as leaders it is our job to set direction and to help people develop.  Part of this is giving feedback that helps them decide when they should keep doing what they are doing and when they need to adapt.  If you aren’t giving specific feedback on both the good and the bad you are withholding information that can help them perform at their best.

 The challenge for the week: Give someone some specific feedback about what they are doing WELL.  It will make their day and your day.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Feedback- Personal Preference or Business Necessity (10-14-15)

Last week we talked about the need to stop and ask a few questions before giving someone feedback in order to ensure you are diagnosing and helping solve the right problem.  This week’s blog is inspired by an email exchange I recently had with a colleague.  The topic for this week is personal preference vs. business necessity. 

There was a workshop I went to that described business necessity as, “You have to do this or you’ll get hurt/hurt the team.”  Example, wearing steel toed boots on a construction site is a business necessity.  Not using the right safety equipment puts the team at risk.  Personal preference is what you would prefer people to do (Thanks Captain Obvious). 

What does this have to do with giving feedback?  We all have biases about which behaviors we prefer, but how many of them are true business necessities?  As our work culture evolves, so does our understanding of what is a personal preference vs. a true business necessity.  When we give feedback to others we have to first figure out if the behavior is a preference or necessity, and we need to be able to explain our rationale. 

 I was filming someone I didn’t know really well once, and when they spoke they were very formal.  I have a bias against formal language, because I’m a casual person.  The guy asked me how I thought he did.  I replied, “I’m naturally more of a casual guy, and you sounded formal to me.  I don’t know you well though.  If you’re more of a formal guy, go for it, but if you were being formal because you thought you had to be that way we can adjust.”  I found out he’s a formal guy and was doing what was comfortable to him, so we didn’t change anything.  This was a matter of personal preference, so who was I to change it as long as it is effective and true to the person?

 On the flip side, I had a friend in the field who received coaching about not being a “strong and direct” closer.  The manager wanted him to ask for the business and the “next 5 patients”.  This was not my friend’s style.  He was subtle and more of a partner vs. a driver.  My friend also happened to be a very successful sales representative.  My friend received coaching because his behaviors did not match his manager’s preferences, and not because of a business necessity.

 The challenge- Are we focusing our feedback on personal preferences or business necessities?  Are we connecting the dots to help people understand how their behaviors are business necessities?

 Bonus questions:  Who decides what constitutes “a business necessity”?  How has this definition changed over time?

 Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Feedback and Jumping the Gun (10-7-15)

Last week was about how giving feedback can be a way to show someone you recognize them and value them.  This week we’ll dive into one of the mistakes we make when we give people feedback, but first a scene from the Embry house.  Pretend you are in the living room sitting on the couch, while Violet (20 months) and Alice (3.5) are playing together in the other room.  All of a sudden you hear Violet get upset.  You walk into the room and Violet is crying, pointing at Alice, who is holding a toy.  What do you think just happened and who do you need to give feedback to?

Your past experiences impact what you think just happened.  Maybe you assume that Violet is crying because Alice took a toy from her.  Maybe, Alice hit her with the toy.  Maybe Alice had the toy all along and Violet is just throwing a tantrum because she can’t have it.  There are countless variations of what could have occurred, so the first thing you need to do is figure out what actually happened.  Once you know this, you know whether to talk to Alice about how it’s wrong to take toys away or to talk to Violet about calming down and not being a drama queen.

You probably see where this is going.  Has anyone ever given you feedback on something before they understood the situation?  This has happened to me before, and I know I’ve done it to other people (Yep, I’m not perfect.  Still can’t walk on water).  Someone has seen something, come to me and said, “Here is some feedback.  I noticed that you were trying to do X, which led to Y, so next time you need to do Z.”  I’m sitting there thinking, “I definitely messed up, but it has nothing to do with X.  Actually, I was trying to do A, and I didn’t realize that would be a problem, which led to B, so next time I need to do C.”  The person’s feedback would have me solving the wrong problem, which wouldn’t help me out in the long-run.

If this has happened to you, how did it make you feel?  Would you want to make people feel that way?  Would you have felt better if the person would have taken a few moments to ask questions to better understand the situation?

The challenge.  Can you stop a moment to understand what happened before delivering feedback?  If you want to read more about this concept, check out this short article by clicking HERE.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Feedback can be Recognition (9-30-15)

He tells me, “Sometimes people say you come across as…brash…abrasive.”  And when he said this I felt ______.  Take a guess.

We’ll finish this story in a minute.  Over the next few weeks this blog will focus on giving and receiving feedback.  This week’s entry is inspired by a leader I admire.  Recently we had a Marketing Town Hall and during the event we had a panel of marketers across business units who shared some of their thoughts about engagement related topics.  The group was talking about reward and recognition and a leader offered an insight that made me stop and think.  He said something along the lines of, “We often think about the reward that goes with recognition.  Sometimes the best recognition is feedback.”  He went on to comment about how offering feedback to people is a way of showing that you are paying attention to them and that you care.  At our core, isn’t this what we really want, to know that someone else cares about us?  Unique perspective, huh?

So how did I feel when Bob (fake name) gave me the feedback that I can be brash and abrasive?  Full transparency.  The initial feeling was, “I suck!”  We’ve all been there right?  After all, it’s not like we walk around saying, “Tell me where I screwed up.”  The next feeling was acceptance and that Bob was right.  I’ve heard that feedback before and I know I unintentionally come off that way sometimes.  I can be direct and loud, which isn’t always the best combination.  Those of you who have been around me enough are probably chuckling, because you’ve probably experienced this from me 😉  Bob and I talked about how my directness can have upsides and downsides in certain situations, and that Bob mainly wanted to be sure that I was cognizant of how I was being perceived and respond accordingly.

The final and most powerful feeling I felt was appreciation.  That’s right.  Bob told me I can come across as brash and abrasive and I was thankful.  I was thankful, because it’s easy to give people positive feedback but it’s so hard to give critical, honest, specific, and actionable feedback about where a person is making mistakes.  Like the leader mentioned, Bob’s actions made me feel recognized, valued, and made me care about Bob even more.

 The challenge:  Do you care enough about someone to be a Bob?  Give someone some feedback this week (positive or negative) and show them that you recognize them, that you see them, and that you care.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Inclusion and being Intentional (9-16-15)

This is going to be the last entry on the topics of inclusion, diversity, and superpowerment 😉  I want to pull all of these themes we have been discussing together with an analogy and a gut check.

Imagine for a minute that you are a sales representative.  You are getting ready to call on a customer and I ask you what you are trying to accomplish with this customer.  Now imagine you didn’t have an answer.  Instead, you told me that you were just going to go in there and wing it.  How good of a sales representative do you think you’d be?

Let’s pretend for a moment that you are a marketer.  I ask you what you are trying to accomplish with your customers.  You tell me that you have identified three key things that customers need to believe in order to feel comfortable enough to use our product.  Then I ask you how you are going to get them to understand those things and feel that way.  You tell me you’re not sure and that you’re just going to put some tactics through to see what happens.  How good of a marketer would you be?

Now let’s say you’re an employee.  You tell me that diversity and inclusion are really important to you.  If I asked you how you want people to feel who come in contact with you, could you give me a specific answer?  If I asked you how you intended on making them feel that way, would you have a strategy?  Be honest.

Over the past few weeks we’ve talked about diversity vs. inclusion, superpowerment, overcoming biases through action, and making the time to have these conversations.  We’ve also talked about the “silent questions” we are always asking like, “Can I be myself with this person?  Can I trust this person?”  The underlying theme is that the only way we can make progress in these areas is by being very intentional.  We have to take the time and spend the effort thinking through how we want people to feel and what we can do to help them feel this way.

The challenge- How intentional are you?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry