
Last week we talked about lifting weights, failure, and how that leads to growth. This week I want us to think about how being safe prevents us from growing. As many of you know, I have two daughters Alice (4) and Violet (2). As their dad I have an urge to keep them safe. I have a strong desire to protect them from all harm. However, this is NOT my job. My job is NOT to keep them safe. My job is to keep them from seriously injuring themselves. The picture is of the inside diving board my girls made. Not exactly safe, but it won’t kill them either 😉
You might think that keeping them safe and keeping them from seriously injuring themselves is the same thing, but it’s NOT. Keeping them safe implies protecting them from ALL discomfort, while ensuring they don’t seriously injure themselves implies that I understand they are going to do things that result in bruises, cuts, pain, and discomfort. Keeping them safe requires I build a bubble around them. Sure the bubble will protect them, but it will also suffocate them. The bubble will keep them from growing. Keeping them from seriously injuring themselves implies that they will have room to run, and I’ll build a fence to keep them from going off the cliff. Sure, they’ll end up getting bumps and bruises, maybe even a broken bone, but they’ll grow a lot in the process.
What does this have to do with work? As individuals are we trying to stay safe or are we trying to avoid severe harm? If we play it safe we can’t ever grow, because we will always be trapped and limited by the bubbles we live in. As leaders, are we keeping people safe or are we encouraging them to go make leaps, get messy, and get some bruises in the process?
Embry experience. In a previous role I was trying to get people aligned on a project. I had a meeting with the key stakeholders and I knew it was going to be rough. My boss said she was going to attend the meeting. The morning of the meeting my boss asked me how I felt, and I said, “I got this.” The meeting was controlled chaos with disagreements and herding cats. I left bumped, bruised, and cut a little bit. Here’s the thing. My boss never came to the meeting. When she saw me later that day she asked how it went. I told her that it was a little rough, but I held my own and knew it would be like that going in. Then she winked and said, “You know, I didn’t come to that on purpose, right? I knew you’d figure out how to handle it.” I just chuckled and said, “Yeah, I know.” Fast forward a few weeks. It’s another big meeting with key stakeholders. This time my boss is there. Once again there is some tension and I’m getting tossed around a bit and beat up. My boss could have jumped in to save the day, but she didn’t. I manage to finesse everything and get us aligned on a decision. After the meeting I’m obviously a little beat up, but I’m filled with pride at what I’d accomplished. This was my favorite moment with that boss. Why? It’s because that moment forced me to prove that I could handle those tricky situations. My boss could have jumped in and kept me safe, but instead she let me get beat up a bit. Because of this, I grew a lot that day.
The challenge: Are you playing it safe or are you getting bumped and bruised, so you can grow? Are you keeping others safe or you allowing them to get bumped and bruised so they can grow?
Have a jolly good day,
Andrew Embry








