Author: Andrew Embry

If you mixed diet mountain dew, funk music, dragons, hip hop, superheroes, and lightning in a blender you’d end up with Andrew Embry. He is part wordsmith and part alchemist, able to use his Batman utility belt to turn anything and everything into a story worth telling that is equal parts insightful, memorable, inspiring, humorous, and entertaining. Andrew is comfortably creative in almost any setting, but especially when he is performing spoken word poetry. His enthusiasm for words comes from the way he loves people and the little nuances of life that make it worth living.

Mosaics, Diversity, and Inclusion (4-15-20)

Last week we started a series about art by examining how we can paint over our mistakes.  This week is about mosaics, diversity, and inclusion.

Mosaics are beautiful pieces of art that have always fascinated me, because you combine things, but you never blend them.  The mosaic is made of several small pieces, and each piece has its own individual integrity, shape, design, color, etc.  At the same time, the individual pieces are part of a larger whole.  Each individual piece has its own role to play in creating the larger picture.  The images in this blog post are of the mosaics my wife made on stepping stones that lead out to our garden. #marriedup

What does this have to do with anything?  Mosaics are an example of what true inclusion should look like.  A mosaic is made of pieces that maintain their individuality, while also contributing to the larger picture.  Mosaics don’t blend.  Mosaics don’t require all of the individual pieces to assimilate.  Making a mosaic requires the creator to understand the piece and where it can fit in a way to add to an image that is larger and more beautiful than the piece can be on its own.  We should all strive for this as we build cultures and teams.

Have you ever been on a great team where you truly felt included?  What caused you to feel that way?  In my case, I’ve felt this way when people have seen me as the individual I am, valued that, and at the same time helped me see my role in something larger.  Those teams and situations always give me joy, engagement, and the fuel I need to get through anything.  Have you ever experienced the opposite?  I have.  I’ve been in situations where my individuality wasn’t valued and where the expectation was to blend in with everything.  I’ve been in situations where all of the members on the team were individuals, and we were never part of something.  At best this was exhausting and at worst this was often toxic.

The challenge: How will you build teams and culture like a mosaic?

Bonus poem about mosaic making

You are an artist making a mosaic,

the pieces dumped in front of you,

tiles and glass of different colors and shapes.

Handle the pieces carefully,

or they will cut you for your carelessness.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Painting and Making Mistakes (4-8-20)

This week I’d like to tell one more story about my daughters and transition us into a series inspired by art.  This week is about painting and making mistakes. 

The picture is of Alice holding a painting she did on her own for a 2nd grade project.  You probably can’t tell looking at the picture, but she initially made a mistake on the eyes.  When she realized her mistake, she got upset with herself and was convinced that she had ruined the painting.  I took her aside explained to her that when people examine paintings, even some of the most famous paintings in the world, that if they look beyond the top layer of paint they can see where the artist initially made a mistake.  They can see where the artist recovered and painted over their mistake, and unless you had the right equipment, you’d never know an error was made in the first place.  I told her she could just paint over her mistake, and the painting would turn out just fine.

What does this have to do with anything?  I don’t know about you, but I can be just like Alice sometimes.  I make one small mistake and think that something is ruined.  The truth is that most of the mistakes and flaws that I see in myself and my work aren’t even seen by other people.  On top of this, even if the mistake is seen, it’s usually something that can be painted over, before it ever impacts the final deliverable.  With everything going on right now it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by supposed mistakes and shortcomings like not being as productive, missed opportunities, not being as on top of things, kids crashing conference calls, etc.  If you feel or experience any of these, it’s okay.  It’s just a sign that you’re human.  When you experience these I hope you can take a deep breath and realize that this mistake is something that most likely will not be noticed and can easily be painted over.  By the time this is all over, you will be a piece of art showcasing your grit, tenacity, and grace, and that beauty is what will be seen.

The challenge: When you make a mistake, will you pause and remember you can probably “paint over it”? 

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Juggling and Giving Yourself Grace (4-2-20)

Link to a poem about this week’s topic. https://www.linkedin.com/posts/andrew-embry-979831b7_juggling-whatreallymatters-activity-6651501699951394816-LnEh

I wanted to share some thoughts I’ve been having lately about feeling overwhelmed. If you’re feeling this way, just know you aren’t alone.

I’ve felt overwhelmed to varying degrees over the past few weeks.  I’ve felt off, tired, sluggish, behind, out of it, stressed, anxious, etc.  As I’ve talked with different folks one of the common themes is that it feels like we are all juggling so much right now.  If you’re anything like me, you’ve felt pressure to keep all of the balls up in the air, and you’ve been anxious about letting things drop.  I was talking to a friend about this and I remembered advice someone gave me.  They said it’s okay to feel like you’re juggling.  The important thing is to understand which balls are made of rubber and which ones are made of glass.  There are some things that will bounce if you drop them and some things that will shatter.  The trick is to know which is which.  This understanding has changed the way I’ve approached things over the past few days, and helped me give others and more importantly myself, the grace and love we deserve. 

The challenge: Do you know which balls are rubber, which ones are glass, and which ones can you just stop juggling?

Special shout out to my teammates and all the other awesome people out there filling my bucket and other people’s buckets.

Peace, health, and love,

Andrew Embry

Rope Swings and Finding a Way Forward (4-1-20)

Last week was about having a clear reward system.  This week is about building a rope swing and finding a way forward instead of always finding barriers.

About a month ago Violet asked me for some string.  I gave her a thing of string and she went back upstairs.  She had been quite for too long, so I went upstairs to see what she was doing.  Our upstairs looks down over our entry way.  She had taken the string and woven it through the railing.  I asked her what she was doing and she replied that she was making a rope swing.  At that critical moment I could have responded in a few different ways.  Most obviously, I could have told her that was a bad idea and she couldn’t do it.  Instead, I said, “I like your idea.  I’m not sure if string is strong enough to hold you if you swing, so how could we make this work?”  She paused for a moment and then said that rope would probably be strong enough to hold her.  We didn’t have any rope at the time, so I told her we would get some.  A couple of weeks ago we got some rope, and as soon as we got it we built a rope swing in our house.  You’ll notice a green blanket around the rope in the picture.  That was Violet’s idea to protect her hands.  Pretty clever if I can say so. 😉

What does this have to do with anything?  My wife and I are trying to raise girls who are willing to try new things and bring new ideas to the table.  In order to promote that we try to create an environment where we work to find ways forward instead of always finding barriers.  Think about work for a minute.  How often have you shared a new idea with someone and the first thing out of their mouth was all the reasons why we CAN’T do something?  How did that feel?  I don’t know about you, but those situations take a lot of my energy and eventually make me want to give up on new ideas.  On the other hand, how often have your brought ideas to people and they helped you find a way forward?  How did that feel?  Even if the way forward wasn’t the same idea I initially discussed, the fact that someone was helping me find a path forward boosted my engagement.  It also made me willing to come back to that person, because I knew they would be a help vs. a wall to run into.

The challenge: As a leader how can you help people find a way forward vs. a wall that will stop them?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Reward Systems, Scoring Points, and Knowing Where You Are (3-25-20)

Last week was about Alice, the science fair, and teaching people to do things on their own.  This week is about reward systems, scoring points, and knowing where you are. 

Back in 2019 my wife and I came up with a reward system based on the Harry Potter House Cup system where the students earn points for good behavior and lose points for bad behavior.  We decided to create our own House Cup, and we are each represented by the house the Pottermore Sorting Hat put us in: Gryffindor (Violet), Ravenclaw (Alice), Slytherin (my wife) and Hufflepuff (myself).  After sorting ourselves into houses, we worked with the kids to identify things they could do to earn points.  For example, doing chores without complaining could earn them 2 points.  Going all day without getting a timeout could earn them 10 points.  We also worked with them to create a list of rewards they would get for earning so many points.  50 points would earn an extra book at bedtime.  1700 points resulted in no chores for a week.  This system has continued to work well with my girls.  I believe part of the reason why it works so well is because it is incredibly clear.  They know exactly how to earn points and where they stand in relation to the next goal/prize.  As a result of this, they are inspired and motivated to exhibit the right behaviors, which is a win for everyone in the house, especially my wife and myself.

How does this connect to work?  Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t know what it took to win or where you didn’t know how you were tracking toward a goal?  How did you feel in those situations?  I’ve been in those situations, and it didn’t feel good.  I often felt disengaged, because I had no idea if I was doing the right things or making progress.  Sometimes this was a project where I didn’t know what I was shooting for.  Other times it is how I’ve felt about my career, not knowing what it takes and where I stand in regards to expectations and how to get to where I want to go. 

This lack of clarity exists for multiple reasons.  Maybe, what good looks like is not well defined.  Maybe, different people have various views on what good looks like, which creates inconsistent goals.  Maybe, you do not have the ability to know and/or receive feedback to tell you where you are in the grand scheme of things.  No matter the cause, this lack of clarity can be incredibly disengaging when you don’t know where you stand and what is required to move forward. 

The challenge: As leaders how can we bring clarity to the behaviors that are required to win?  As leaders how do we ensure that individuals know where they stand in relation to their goals?

If I’m being entirely honest, now is one of those times when it is hard to know what “winning” looks like.  I’m trying to give myself and others grace as we all work together to figure this out. 

  • What does it look like to be a “good” husband/dad/friend/co-worker right now?
  • What does “good” movement on projects look like with everything going on? 
  • What does “good” look like when it comes to maintaining the team’s culture and vibe?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Alice, the Science Fair, and Doing Things Herself (3-18-20)

I hope you are all strong and healthy.  Last week was about shaping the environment as leaders.  This week is about Alice, the science fair, and doing things herself.

Last year Alice was a first grader and she asked to do the science fair.  My wife and I told her no, because we didn’t want to be the ones who ended up doing the project for her.  We told her she could enter the science fair in second grade, but she would do the work.  This year, Alice entered the science fair where she tested what would happen to green bean plants when she watered them with different liquids including water, tea, coffee, Gatorade, gasoline, vegetable oil, and milk.

While my wife and I were there to help teach Alice, she was the one who did the work.  I was so proud of her for all the hard work she put in.  However, if I’m being honest, the science fair drove my wife and I a bit crazy.  Have you ever watched a second grader type?  It took her years to type out paragraphs, and it took everything we had not to just type it for her.  Have you ever watched a second grader try to use a mouse and Excel?  She wanted to make graphs, so I taught her how to type in the data and how to highlight the data to make a graph.  Watching her actually go through those steps was like having something slowly eat away at my brain.  Deep down inside, I just wanted to do the things, because it would have been faster.  However, If I would have done the things for her, she wouldn’t have learned anything.  Now she has skills and abilities that she didn’t have a few weeks ago, because we taught her vs. did it for her.

What does this have to do with work?  Coaching and developing people is one of the most important things we can do as leaders.  With that said, how often do we invest the time it takes to teach and help people grow vs. jumping in and taking control?  Helping someone grow takes time, a lot of time.  Just like my situation with Alice, watching someone struggle to get something is painful, and you could definitely do it faster and better than they could.  I don’t know about you, but I know that there have been times I’ve jumped in and done things FOR someone vs. helping them learn how to do it.  The problem is that if I am always jumping in to do it for them, they can never learn on their own.  This will lead them to be dependent on me, and they’ll never be able to evolve into the person and employee they were meant to be.

The challenge: Are you investing the time with people to help them grow and develop?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Will you Disappear or Show Up? (3-13-20)

Image result for bright spotHappy Friday,

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately, and I’d like to share something with all of you.  Yesterday I was talking to someone about all of the crazy stuff going on with the Coronavirus, work, and life right now.  It brought me back to things I learned from a leader I worked with about how leaders act in times of change and the impact that has. 

We were in the beginning of a reorganization and this leader told me something along the lines of, “I’ve been through this a few times and I’ve seen how this will play out.  Sooner or later all of this will die down and we will move forward.  After all of this has settled, people won’t necessarily remember all of the details around these events, but they will remember who STEPPED UP and who DISAPPEARED when they were needed most.  Watch.  Some leaders will shrink in times like this, and they won’t realize it now but they will be hurting the trust they’ve built with others over time.  Once things get back to normal, those relationships will be damaged and need repairing.  Other leaders will step up in times like this.  While these leaders won’t be able to say with certainty what will happen, they will be able to SHOW with certainty that they care for the people around them.  Their relationships will grow stronger because of these events and NOT in spite of them.”

He was right about all of this, and when he said “leader” he didn’t mean someone with official authority.  He meant someone who could guide and influence others.  I watched some people disappear, and it caused our relationship and my trust in them to weaken.  Other people stepped up, and now I’d run through walls for them.  Over time there have been more reorganizations, big changes, and other events, and his wisdom runs true every single time. 

Right now is another one of those times.  Sooner or later we will all get through what is going on.  When we do, people will look back and remember whether or not YOU disappeared or showed up when you were needed.  The challenge: Be the person who shows up.  Be the person who shows you care and have that person’s back.  Do this in a way that’s natural to you.  Maybe it’s hosting conference calls.  Maybe it’s giving speeches.  Maybe it’s sending texts with memes and videos to keep everyone going.  Whatever it is, be the bright spot for others right now.  They need it.

I got a lot of love for you folks.  Be awesome.  Stay healthy and safe. 

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Violet, Meltdowns, and Changing her Environment (3-11-20)

Last week was about Alice and how she needed to be held.  This week is about Violet, meltdowns, and shaping the environment in order to drive behavior.

Violet was over tired around Christmas time and desperately needed a nap after traveling to the in-laws and being overstimulated.  She refused, eventually throwing a fit and losing control over her emotions.  I knew that if I could just get her to slow down she’d fall asleep, take a nap, and be better when she woke up.  I decided to change my tactics.  I got her in the van to take a drive.  I tried to get her to snuggle with a blanket because I knew that would get her to fall asleep, but she refused.   I knew arguing with her would just escalate the entire situation.  Instead of arguing, I turned on the air conditioning full blast in the middle of December.  She eventually got cold, which led her to wrap herself up in a blanket.  Once she put on the blanket, she was asleep in two minutes.  When she woke up, she was good to go, and had great behavior for the rest of the day.  #dadgenius

What does this have to do with anything?  In the above story, I knew that I wanted Violet to take a nap to help with her behavior.  I also knew that if I set up the right environment, then it would increase her chances of taking a nap.  By setting up the right environment around her (making it cold), I drove her to snuggle up with a blanket and fall asleep.  In a similar way, as leaders we “control the thermostat” and shape the environment people operate in, which drives the behavior for the team.  Think about the teams you’ve been on.  What were the different environments like and how did they impact you?  I’ve been on teams with an array of different environments.  Some environments drove trust and vulnerability.  Some drove teamwork and high performance.  Some drove competition and mistrust between teammates.  Some drove efficiency, while others drove frantic work.  In all of these cases, the environment created by the leader and the other folks on the team shaped how people behaved.  Environments are not created by accident.  Creating the right environment requires being intentional about what you’re trying to accomplish. 

The challenge:  As a leader, what behaviors are you trying to drive?  Are you creating an environment that will drive those behaviors?  HOW are you creating that environment?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Alice Needed to be Held (3-4-20)

This week we will start a series on lessons I’ve learned from being a dad.  This week will be about my daughter Alice and needing to be held.

I was behind at work.  I had SOOOOO much stuff I felt I needed to do.  Normally, I don’t work too much at night, I’m more of an early bird, but I was so behind I was looking forward to catching up.  Then, my plans changed.  Alice (almost 8), had a rough day.  Nothing major was horribly wrong, but it was one of those days where you woke up on the wrong side of the bed and couldn’t catch a break for the rest of the day.  In fact, she had a few of those days in a row.  My wife was putting the girls to bed while I was working, and by this point Alice was a collection of sadness, tears, anger, fury, and so many other emotions.  She was fighting with her sister and lashing out at my wife.  I knew I had soooo much stuff to do, but from her behavior, I knew that Alice needed snuggles.  She needed someone to hold her, to be there with her.  I stopped my work, went upstairs, and snuggled up beside her.  I was there for a long time, eventually falling asleep.  I got up the next day, still far behind in my work and not where I wanted to be, but with a daughter who woke up feeling loved.

What does this have to do with anything?  There are two connections I’d like us to consider.  First, much like Alice, I think we all need to be held sometimes.  Held could be in the physical sense, but often it’s in the emotionally supportive sense.  Maybe it’s having lunch, fishing, visiting, or just sitting together that lets someone know they aren’t alone.  This embrace gives them strength.

The other connection is that it’s easy to get caught up and view the need to stop and embrace others as an inconvenience.  It’s easy to say, “I have so much to do that I can’t stop for that right now.”  Have you ever felt that way?  I have…even with my own kids sometimes.  It’s easy to feel this way and miss that tender and powerful moment, because you won’t necessarily be penalized.  You won’t be penalized, but you will miss out on the power and love that moment will give you.  You’ll miss out on the chance to help someone and to become a little closer. 

The challenges: Will you allow yourself to be “held”?  Will you stop to “hold” others?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Being Vegetarian and More (2-26-20)

This will be the last in the series about diversity, inclusion, and my wife being a vegetarian.  This week is about recognizing that what makes people different is part of them, but not the whole story.

Last summer, Diane and I were with a family and they were grilling.  Diane had decided that she wasn’t in the mood for veggie burgers, so she didn’t bring any over.  Instead, she was happily enjoying all the other food available, including homemade potato salad which is one of her favorite things ever.  Diane is completely content.  Then, Bob realizes that he’s grilling burgers and doesn’t have anything to grill for Diane.  He mentions it, and Diane says, “I’m great.  If I wanted the veggie burgers I would have brought them.”  Bob won’t accept this.  He keeps going on about how Diane is a vegetarian and now she’s making a sacrifice, since he’s not grilling anything for her and how she should have bought some veggie burgers.  He keeps going on and on about this, and it’s awkward.  Bob is taking one element of what makes her who she is, and is blowing it way out of proportion.  This isn’t the first time Bob has done something like this.

Where is this going?  My wife is a vegetarian.  This is something that has an impact on her life.  At the same time, being a vegetarian is not all she is.  She’s a wife, a mom, a daughter, a person who loves kids, a writer, a painter, a gardener, a cook, a reader, and so many other things.  If you view my wife as only one element of what makes here who she is, then you’re doing her a disservice.  Doing this takes a beautiful and complex individual and turns her into a one dimensional being.  If we step away from my wife being a vegetarian, I feel the idea applies to other elements of diversity.  Does your gender/race/ethnicity/sexual orientation/other element of diversity shape who you are?  Yes.  Do they play a large role in shaping who you are?  Most definitely.  Are any of those individual elements the only thing that makes you who you are?  No.  As people we are shaped by our elements of diversity, AND we are also greater than the sum of those individual parts.

The challenge:  To be truly inclusive, we need to be able to see, recognize, and appreciate how people’s elements of diversity shape them, while at the same time seeing that they are so much more than those individual things.  We need to be willing to put in the effort to embrace the WHOLE person.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry