Setting Expectations Relative to Your Reality and Blowing Fuses (1-18-23)

Happy Wednesday,

This is the last one in our series about protecting energy. Last week was about protecting your energy and blowing fuses. This week we will continue to think about blowing fuses as it relates to setting expectations relative to your reality.

Back in November, Cam played Legos with a friend in the garage. Cam got me and said, “The power went off in the garage.” I see that Cam and his friend have their socks and shoes off and are wearing t-shirts. I’m confused because the garage isn’t heated, and Cam explains, “We didn’t want to have to wear coats and stuff as we played so we turned on both space heaters (in the same outlet).” This blew the fuse. I reset everything and then turned to the kids. “I get that you don’t want to wear coats or anything and that the extra layers might get in the way when playing Legos. Running two space heaters is not good for the electrical system. We aren’t building a fire to warm you up. You need to put your socks, shoes, and coat on if you want to keep playing in the garage.

What does this have to do with anything? This is a story about how their original vision and expectations led to blowing a fuse. They wanted to be warm and barefoot like summertime, so they tried to do that with the space heaters, and it didn’t end well. Their expectations did NOT match the reality of the situation (it was cold 😉). How many times has this happened to you at work? It often looks something like this, “This project is critical, and it needs to be perfect,” but you look around and realize you don’t have the financial or people resources to make it happen. You also quickly realize that you aren’t going to be given more time, energy, money, or people. You still try to deliver that perfection anyway, and before you know it you have burned yourself and other people out. Does this sound familiar? I spent a fair amount of 2022 in that space, which is why I’m so focused on not ending up back there.

When Cam and his friend realized that the reality was different from their expectations, they had a CHOICE about how to proceed. They could stop playing Legos (stop the project). They could find other ways to heat up the area (get more resources). They could adjust their expectations and behaviors to match their reality. In their case this meant putting on coats. In our case at work, it might be admitting that the “perfect” deliverable is NOT possible with our current resourcing and being okay with delivering something less than perfect. The struggle to let go of perfection is real, knowing that I won’t hit the standards I hold for myself and likely will upset/disappoint others. These aren’t easy choices to make. They are necessary choices if you want to protect your energy.

The challenge: How can you set better more realistic expectations in order to protect your energy and the energy of others?

Direct bonus thoughts that might hit a little hard: As leaders we have the burden/responsibility to set the parameters and realistic expectations that enable people to protect their energy. This is especially important if you are in an official leadership position, because your actions will naturally carry extra weight. Below are a few situations where I’ve seen leaders handle situations in a way that communicated to me that they weren’t aware of or didn’t care about burning people out. I’ve seen these things, and I’ve been the leader in these situations. Have you? Something to think about.

If there is a legitimate issue with the project, and the leader tells the group they will just have to figure it out without giving them more time, people, money, or taking things off their plate through automation or prioritization, then there is a good chance that the leader’s actions are communicating, “I’m okay with you burning yourself out to make this happen.” (My new go-to move is to ask, “What do you NEED to make X happen? Do you need time, people, to take things off your plate, or something else?”)

If there is an issue and the leader responds with, “You will just have to prioritize” without being able to say what they are able let go of completely or where you they comfortable with the team giving less effort, their actions are likely communicating, “I’m okay with you burning yourself out, because everything is important and everything needs to be done.” (My new go-to move is to start by asking, “What do you NEED to make X happen?” Then, I reclarify priorities. “Here are the 2 or 3 things where we need A effort. Here are the things we need B effort. I don’t even want to talk about Q, R, and S because they aren’t important. If we have to let go of Q, R, and S, we will just have to deal with it.)

If a leader is not consistently celebrating and recognizing people who prioritize (by either saying no to work, choosing to delay unimportant work, or giving less effort to unimportant work) or are comfortable giving less effort to things that don’t matter as much), then the leader is sending a message that you don’t truly value prioritization. (I’m working hard to recognize folks here.)

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Surge Protectors and being Overloaded (1-12-22)

Last week was about finding our word/phrase to be our NorthStar. This week is about surge protectors and protecting ourselves from being overloaded.

I’m assuming you have a surge protector or two at home. Surge protectors are often used to protect certain appliances from becoming fried from a power surge. Mine is connected to my tv and computer. At the most basic level, the surge protector works by either blocking the surge or by reducing the voltage to a point where it doesn’t damage the device it is protecting.

You might be wondering what this has to do with anything. I don’t know about you, but 2021 was another wild year and there was a lot of hardcore sprinting that last month with personal travel, holiday stress, work travel, putting in a lot of hours to finish up projects, and handling life stuff. I had the last two weeks of December off, and I struggled to recharge for the first week. I realized I was fried. I had ran so hard for so long that I was having issues recovering. I wish that I would have had a personal surge protector throughout the year to keep me from getting overloaded.

With all that in mind, I’m looking at 2022 and the chaos will continue (see what I did there 😉). I’ve been back for 1.5 weeks. I already have too many emails, too many meetings, and more than enough important work to do. Sound familiar? Life is going to continue to be busy and who knows what will happen with Omicron. I’m beginning to see that if I’m not careful, I’m going to jump back into the madness and get overwhelmed again by another power surge. Does anyone else feel this way? I know if I don’t pause right now and set up what I need to avoid being overloaded, I’m just going to get burnt out again. I need to take the time to install a personal surge protector.

Challenge 1: How can you build your own personal surge protector to keep you from getting fried?

Challenge 2: If you’re a leader with official power and authority, what are you SPECIFICALLY doing to create an environment where people won’t be overloaded?

Bonus thoughts: Here are some things I’m doing to build my personal surge protector.

Invested the time (2-3 hours) to organize my work. This included sifting through my long to-do list to identify priorities and confirm them with my boss. Also thought through what needs to be delivered, when, and what quality is required. Then, I created project plans. If things are turned into clear tasks, I can invest energy in knocking out the tasks vs. being overwhelmed with trying to sort everything out. (#organizethepantry)
Invested the time in setting up my personal and professional work calendars to ensure my time is spent on the right things.
I booked my vacation time and planned out my race schedule for the years, so I have things to look forward to.
Started talking to my wife about the boundaries we should consider putting into place for our time and activities to make things a bit easier for our family.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Screen Time, Value, and Prioritization (3-17-21)

Last week was about identifying your cultural pillars. This week is about parenting, screen time, value, and prioritization.

One of our rules is that the girls get limited screen time each day. During this time they have the option to do different things. They can watch cartoons, play video games, or do something on the ipad. Whatever they choose to do, they still get the same amount of time. The other day the girls had their normal amount of screen time. They chose to watch a cartoon on the main TV. At the end of the episode, I told them it was time to turn everything off. They asked for more screen time. I told them no. They got upset, because they said they didn’t want to watch cartoons, and they had really wanted to play video games. I reminded them that they knew they had limited amounts of screen time and that they chose to watch cartoons. I also explained In the future they would need to be more thoughtful about how to spend that screen time if they were disappointed.

What does this have to do with anything? The girls don’t realize it yet, but we are essentially teaching them a sneaky lesson in prioritization and understanding what you value and want. They have a set amount of screen time, and they have a few different ways they could spend that time. How should they spend it? It all depends. Out of their options, which one(s) would give them the most value? In a similar way, we all have a limited number of hours each week to fit in everything we need to do as it relates to our holistic health, our relationships, and work. How often have you looked back at the day or week and said to yourself, “Whoa, I don’t think I did any of the things I really wanted to do. I wish I could have done X, Y, and Z instead.” I know this happens to me sometimes. There’s no way to go back in time, but I can do a better job of ensuring I know what I value and then making sure I focus my efforts on those things. Sometimes, this means making sure I’m prioritizing and staying focused on important work. Sometimes, this means that I step away from that important work and spend time connecting with others and myself to ensure I’m meeting my other needs. It all depends on what I value and need.

The challenge: What do you value? Are you CHOOSING to prioritize your time to reflect what you value?

Bonus thoughts: When it comes to prioritizing work I tend look at 3 variables: impact to the business, quality of the deliverable, and amount of effort. I try to focus on the things that have the most impact. From there, I’m constantly balancing quality and effort. If the work needs to be A quality, then it requires a lot of effort. This means, I can only do a limited amount of A quality things at a time. However, if the quality required is only a B or C, then that requires less effort and I can produce more work. My opinion is that most stuff really just needs to be a B, because it’s not going to be perfect before it hits the market anyway. Being honest about the quality helps me make sure I put the right amount of effort towards the right things. There is no point putting maximum effort toward something that needs to be a B.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Burnout and Boundaries (3-1-21)

I kind of hit a wall last week, so I spent the weekend recharging. This led to some reflections I want to share with you.

There are different types of rest- The 7 types of rest that every person needs | (ted.com). This weekend was all about mental, sensory, and creative rest. I completely unplugged, hung out outside, and spent most of the time reading and blogging. It was the recharge I needed. Make sure you’re filling your bucket.

Setting boundaries for yourself- Speaking of burnout, it’s important we set boundaries for ourselves. Here’s something I do. Whenever I have a new colleague I’m working with I get to know them and then we spend time discussing working styles. I always talk about how my family time is sacred, so I do what I can to avoid being on my computer at night. This means they won’t see stuff from me at night and shouldn’t expect to. Of course there will be times when it’s all hands on deck and everyone is putting in extra hours, but that shouldn’t be all the time. If it is, something is wrong. Priorities aren’t clear, expectations are unrealistic, or you’re not clear on what your boundaries are.

Setting expectations for others- While we set our own boundaries, it’s important to set and reinforce expectations for others. A vendor sent me an email on Sunday and said, “I’ll be standing by all day if you have questions.” This morning I sent him back the below message to clarify my expectations, because I don’t expect or need him to work all weekend for me.
- I appreciate you saying in your email that you’d be standing by on Sunday to answer questions if needed. I want you to know that I do NOT expect you to be on call for us over the weekend. You’re not some random vendor to me, you’re a teammate. When it gets close to crunch time, we will all be working long hours, but until then I want you and all my other teammates to spend time unplugging, refueling, and spending time with friends/family/important people in your life. In fact, if there is ever anything I can do to help alleviate any work burden you might have on the weekend please let me know.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Restaurants, Serving, and Sprinting (6-24-20)

Last week was about embracing new foods and stepping outside of your comfort zone. This week is about restaurants, being a server, speed, and thinking.

Back in college I was a waiter at an O’Charley’s. In case you’ve never been to an O’Charley’s it is like an Applebee’s. The main difference is that O’Charley’s has some AMAZING rolls. Anyway, when I first started my job as a waiter, I found myself running around constantly back and forth between the kitchen and my tables. I would go get refills for one table, then get to another table and realize they needed refills, so I would have to go back and get them refills. By the end of the night I was exhausted from running back and forth. Over time, I began to realize that I was working very hard, but I wasn’t working very smart. Instead of only thinking about one table at a time, I began looking at multiple tables. Instead, of making individual trips back to the kitchen, I would go back to the kitchen and take care of the needs for multiple tables. Taking a few extra seconds to look around to see who needed refills, more rolls, checked on, etc. enabled me to save steps and avoid sprinting back and forth throughout the night. This led to me being more efficient and effective, which eventually led to me receiving better tips.

You might be wondering where this server story is going. I don’t know about you, but from time to time I get sucked into the frenzy of work where I sprint from project to project and place to place. By the end of the day I feel exhausted. Have you ever felt this way? When you felt like this, how productive were you? If you’re anything like me, during these times you weren’t as productive as you could be. I’ve realized over time that whenever I feel like I’m sprinting out of control I need to pause for a moment. Just like my server days, I need to stop for a moment to look around and figure out what is going on. Rather than sprinting, I need to pause, survey the situation, and figure out a plan. Taking a few minutes to think through things usually results in me figuring out ways to avoid pitfalls and eliminate extra steps. At the end of the day, spending a few minutes to pause and think, saves me hours of running around.

The challenge: Will you take a few moments to pause and plan vs. running around?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Investments and Returns (6-3-20)

Last week was about diversifying how you spend your time to help you be a better human, and Friday’s bonus entry was about investing time and effort in becoming more anti-racist. This is our final entry in the series about investments and it is about investments and returns.

Let’s pretend for a moment I’m a financial advisor. I explain that you can choose to invest in fund A or B. How would you decide to invest your money? I bet that before you did anything, you would want to better understand funds A and B and their rate of returns. After you understood that, then you could evaluate the tradeoffs and decide how to invest.

What does this have to do with anything? In the above example, you would want to understand the potential return, so you could assess the trade-offs and make the right decision. I see two applications of this idea. The first application comes to the work we do. We all have more work than we can handle, so we must make decisions on where to INVEST our time. How often do you pause to think about the RETURN you could get for your effort and then invest your time accordingly? I don’t always do this. Sometimes I just start doing the things on my to-do list without thinking about what is important. Other times, I get lost trying to make something perfect, and all the extra hours I put in didn’t give me much return.

The other connection is about investing in each other. The other day my wife walked into our makeshift office, and she saw me writing an email with a meme telling the person they were awesome. My wife asked me how much time I spend recognizing others and helping them feel valued. I laughed, because I don’t look at that as spending time. I look at this act as INVESTING time. Furthermore, it’s the best and smartest investment I can make out of all the things I do. I’d argue the same would be true for you. Here’s why. I want to have a positive impact on the people we serve. I’m not smart enough or talented enough to do that on my own. Also, the work I do is so complicated that I can’t do it on my own, so I need help to reach my goal. As a result, I invest in people. I give them my energy, effort, compassion, and words of appreciation. In return, I gain teammates and friends. These teammates and friends share their brainpower and skills. Together, we do incredible things, ultimately delivering the impact I want to deliver in the world, which makes me feel fulfilled. The only way I can reach my goals is by investing in others.

Challenge 1: Will you be more aware of how you invest your time and what returns you will get (for both projects and people)?

Challenge 2: Spend a few minutes investing in someone else today with a few words of recognition or something else.

Sending peace and love,

Andrew Embry

Tetris and Building the Right Foundation (1-8-20)

I hope that you enjoyed your holidays and your time off. During my break I had the chance to play some video games, so video games will be the inspiration behind our series to start the year. We will start with Tetris and the importance of building correctly from the beginning.

I have always loved Tetris and used to play it with my mom when I was a kid. In case you’ve never played, Tetris is a game where different sized blocks descend from the top. Your job is to stack those blocks in neat rows. If you stack them neatly and complete a full horizontal line, that row of blocks disappears and you get points. The longer you play, the faster the blocks descend, and sooner or later everything is moving so fast you are unable to stack things correctly. Once the blocks have been stacked incorrectly and reach the top of the screen, you lose. If you look at the picture on the right, you can see that things aren’t going so well for our player.

What if I told you Tetris and life are basically the same thing? Tetris and life are about building correctly AND intentionally. Both are about ensuring you build the right foundation, in the right way, so you can adjust as blocks (or life’s challenges) come at you faster and faster and faster. In Tetris and life the difference between surviving the onslaught of challenges and losing all comes down to how well you built when you started. This could refer to building relationships, marketing strategies, brands, finances, and anything else in life.

Looking back at 2019, I’m proud of what I accomplished at work. With that said, I know there’s room for improvement. As I look back I realize that if I would have spent the time to build some of the right foundations, some of the challenges I faced would have been easier to overcome. If I would have done a better job of pausing to look ahead, I could have seen those obstacles before they came crashing down on me. Seeing these obstacles would have given me time to grab them, pivot them, and place them like Tetris blocks instead of them getting slammed into the middle of my world messing stuff up. Did any of you feel this way about last year?

The challenge: Are you building the right foundation to handle life as it throws pieces at you faster and faster?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from Being a Dad Part 4 Small, Medium, or Big Deal (5-29-19)

This week we will build on what matters and perspective by looking at my very advanced scientifically based parenting classification system of small deal, medium deal, and big deal. I was in the kitchen eating my breakfast when Alice started yelling. I asked her, “What is going on?” She explained to me that she had lost her bracelet toy thing. I then looked at her and said, “Is that a small deal, a medium deal, or a big deal?” She replied that it was a small deal, so my next question was, “When are we allowed to freak out?” She replied, “When it’s a big deal.” Finally, I said, “So should you be freaking out now? Take a breath and go solve your problem.” She looked in her room and found the bracelet 10 seconds later.

This classifying of small, medium, or big is a common thing at my house. Small deals are minor annoyances that shouldn’t even phase you. Big deals are when someone is badly hurt or likely to get badly hurt. Big deals usually require a grown-up to help resolve. Everything else is a medium deal, which can often be frustrating, but can be resolved without freaking out. I’ve been a parent for 7 years and only encountered a handful of big deal moments.

I see two connections to work. First, reflect on some of the stressful situations you’ve faced at work. Now ask yourself, “Was that situation that caused you stress a small deal, a medium deal, or a big deal?” I don’t know about you, but I very rarely have ever had to deal with a big deal moment at work. Most of the time I deal with small deals or medium deals, and it just so happens that they get blown up to be more than they really are. Sometimes, it’s the organization that blows them up. Sometimes, it’s a leader. Sometimes, it’s all on me, getting caught up in the frenzy and losing perspective.

The other connection is that as a dad, I’m one of the co-leaders of the household. As the leader, it is my job to deescalate things, and help my daughters see that the thing they are freaking out about is really a medium deal and everything will be fine. As a leader, you have tremendous power and responsibility. If you allow and/or enable small and medium deals to become big deals, you create unnecessary stress and pain for everyone else you work with. If you are able to help people keep things in perspective, you give your team the ability to focus on the things that truly matter.

The challenge: Are you taking the time to pause and decide if it is a small, medium, or big deal? Are you setting the tone of what is a small, medium, or big deal with your teams?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Centrifugal Force, Merry-Go-Rounds, and Slowing Life Down (3-27-19)

Last week was about Newton’s laws of motion and moving people. This week we will stick with motion and reflect on centrifugal force, merry-go-rounds, and slowing life down.

I’m assuming that at one-point in all of our lives we have ridden on a merry-go-round or some kind of ride that spins you around in circles. Before the ride begins, we are stationary. As the ride starts to spin slowly, we initially don’t move too much from the center of the ride. However, as the ride picks up more speed, a force acts on us pushing us away from the center of the merry-go-round/ride and to the edges of the ride. The force that acts on us is centrifugal force. The bottom line is that the faster the thing is spinning the more the force works to push you to the outside, away from the center. If you want to get to the center, you need to find a way to slow things down.

You might be wondering where this is going. In many ways we spend our lives on an invisible merry-go-round balancing work, life, and everything that comes our way. Much like a merry-go-round, we have a center, where we are balanced, focused, and plugged into the things that matter most. The tricky thing is that unlike a merry-go-round, life never stops spinning (while we are living). This means that we always have some force pushing us away from our center. As life spins faster, we get further away from our center and lose focus.

What we often fail to realize is that we have the power to speed life up or slow life down. Have you ever been around a person who took something small and turned it into a huge deal spinning everything out of control? Have you ever been that person? I have. This is an example of taking something and speeding it up, further pushing us away from our center and making life difficult. On the opposite end, there are times when life has been going really fast and I’ve been able to say, “Does all of this actually matter? Is all of this really important?” (The answer is that 95% of things aren’t important.) Pausing to breathe and ask those questions has a powerful impact on slowing life down enough to where you can get closer to your center.

The challenge: On the merry-go-round of life, will you take the time to slow things down to get back to center?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Prioritization Lessons from Market Research (5-23-18)

Last week was about urgency, finding clarity, and prioritization. Tacey also shared some great thoughts about how we are often more accustomed to fighting fires and how preventing fires requires a different set of skills and planning. With that in mind, I want to get a little more tactical this week and dive into lessons I’ve learned from market research regarding prioritization. My hope is you might be able to apply some of this to prevent some fires in your life.

In market research there are always a million questions we could answer, but that does not mean we should answer all of them. Early in my career when people had a request of me, I asked myself two things. First, do I have the ability to do that? Second, do I have the extra time to do that? My answer to both of those questions was always yes. It wasn’t a yes, because it was true. It was often a yes, because I wanted to impress people by being able to do a lot of stuff. Market research has taught me that it’s possible to do stuff and answer a business question that adds NO value to the business. In those cases, doing all the work just results in wasted energy and time.

You might be wondering where this is going. Over time, I learned that I needed to get better at prioritization. In order to do that I needed a system that would help me define the value of the question I needed to answer, because prioritization always starts with understanding what you value. This brings me to the prioritization grid below, which I stole from Challis Imes, who stole it from Karen Wurster, who stole it from a sage spouting ancient wisdom in the Himalayas.

	Confident we already know the answer	Unsure of the answer
High impact to the business	B Don’t do new work. Spend your time and effort synthesizing existing work to find new insights.	A Prioritize this work and try to spend most of your time and effort here.
Lower impact to the business	D Avoid this like the plague.	C Don’t spend much time in this bucket.

I’ve found that putting things into this grid makes me do two things. First, it makes me spend time really thinking about the questions I’m being asked to answer and their potential value. Second, it gives me a framework to have a conversation about prioritizing things with stakeholders. Once I’ve plotted the questions I can go back to the team and say, “Here is how I view the world. Here is where everything fits for X, Y, and Z reasons. Do you feel differently? If so, what is your argument for making something an A priority?” These are great conversations, because it forces us to find alignment. Usually one of two things happens. We either realize we know more than we think we do, so we can deprioritize stuff, or I learn some context I didn’t have before, which gives me a better understanding of why something is important.

As I continue to work on developing my prioritization skills, I’ve taken the grid concept and applied it to other things in life. While the axes on the grid might change, it always gives me the structure I need to clearly define the value of things.

The challenge: How are you going about prioritizing things?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry