Making the Most of a Situation (9-17-25)

Last week was about two people being in the same situation and seeing it differently. This week is about making the most of a situation.

Alice was a colicky baby and every night around 6 or 7, they’d spend an hour screaming their lungs out. My wife felt horrible about the inconvenience of having a screaming baby in my parents’ house. My wife also underestimated how weird my dad is. Alice was in the middle of screaming their head off. My dad could have been irritated, but instead he took this as a challenge. My dad decided that this would be a contest between him and Alice to see who was the loudest. He starts being loud too. At first Alice was stunned, and then they roared in defiance. However, my dad was not going to lose. He went all in, making weird faces, funny noises, and wildly gesturing. Alice goes from screaming to laughing and shrieking from pure delight. They keep going to see who can be the loudest and silliest. Soon, everyone in the house is giggling at the absurdity of it all. This became their nightly ritual for the entire time we lived with my parents, and now it’s one of our favorite memories.

Let’s connect some dots. Let’s be honest. If you’ve ever been in a room with a screaming baby, it’s not exactly fun. It would have been easy to be irritated and grumpy. It would have been easy to look at this like a moment to just suffer through. However, my dad decided to turn this into something else. He turned it into a game, which became enjoyable for everybody. Think about yourself for a minute. How often do you allow yourself to be totally stuck in a situation? How often do you allow yourself to become irritated and grumpy at something that isn’t going well? How often do you approach things with a negative mindset, when you have the power to make something different out of the moment?

The challenge: What will you make out of the moments you are given?

Bonus story- If you are thinking my dad has stopped playing weird games like that, you’re wrong. His new favorite game is to make cringeworthy dad jokes that make a teenage Alice roll their eyes. Yes, he is very successful at this. (I wonder where I get it from 😉)

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting and Setting Incentives (2-19-25)

Last week was about parenting, cleaning the house, and being flexible. This week is about parenting and creating incentives.

We already have 2 cats in our house, but my son Cameron (11) really wants his own cat. My wife and I ultimately agreed that he could get one for his 12^th birthday. Cam, ever the negotiator, talked to his to uncover what he could do to get it sooner and said he was willing to do anything to make this happen. My wife and I saw this as an opportunity to provide an incentive for Cam to do the right thing to earn the cat sooner.

Before setting the incentive, the first thing my wife and I did was talk about our overarching goal for Cam, which is for him to grow up to be a kind and compassionate self-sufficient human. From there, we got VERY SPECIFIC about what behaviors he could work on building now that would lead to this. Based on our understanding of our son, we settled on three things. First, we wanted him to get better at doing his chores without being asked or reminded, because this would help him learn how to take care of himself and his future house. Second, we wanted to help him get better at stepping outside of his comfort zone, which in this case includes trying new foods which is really hard for him. Third, we wanted him to continue to develop the ability to advocate for himself in situations, whether that is clearly expressing a boundary or just speaking up for himself. With these things in mind, I developed a point system and Excel sheet tracker that shows his progress over time. If he does those three things relatively consistently he will get his cat early. We talked to Cam about these things, and he’s on board. We even through in some extra hard bonus things worth a lot of points, and he’s strongly considering doing those things too.

How does this connect with anything? Often when we think of incentives we think of base pay, bonuses, or some other compensation. However, in my experience, we don’t do the best job thinking about the behaviors we are trying to drive in a culture or an organization. Then, since we haven’t truly thought about the behaviors we are trying to drive, we don’t have a way to directly link those behaviors with incentives (compensation, bonuses, verbal praise, Inspire points, etc.). Without that direct link, it’s difficult to reinforce the behaviors we want to see, which makes it hard to drive behavior change.

The challenge- Do you know what behaviors you are trying to drive? Do your incentives connect to those behaviors?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Bonus Blog- The Power of Kind Words

Bonus blog entry for the week about the power of kind words. In my blog last week I talked about how I didn’t feel I accomplished all the things I wanted to in January. If I’m being honest, life and work kicked my butt the entire month. It felt like I was juggling balls, all of them were glass, and I was letting quite a few of them fall and shatter. In the midst of feeling like an utter failure, one of my partners sent me this email.

“I could tell you have a lot going on for you this week, and it seems like you’ve been under a lot of stress. I just wanted to pop in to say that you’re doing a great job, and you’re easily one of my favorite clients to work with. You handle yourself so well and I value our partnership a lot. Keep being awesome and have a great weekend!”

What does this have to do with anything? Have you ever felt like you were a total failure? That’s where I was, and then I received that email. I can’t begin to tell you how much I needed that message, especially because this partner is one of the ones I felt I was failing the most. That short message changed the trajectory of my week and is carrying me into this week. This short email reminded me of two things. First, we are likely never as big of a failure as we feel like we are. Second, there is a lot of power in sharing an uplifting message with someone.

The challenge- Lift someone up today. Write them a short message showing them some love and appreciation. Create a positive ripple in the universe.

Bonus- If no one has told you lately, YOU’RE AWESOME! You are being so strong in the midst of all kinds of swirl, change, and challenges. YOU ARE ENOUGH and you are a gloriously beautiful messy human 😉

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

I Hope We are all like The Grinch (12-11-24)

This will be the last blog of 2024. If you’ve been on this distribution list for a while, you might recognize that I usually end the year with this entry. I feel it is just as relevant now as it was in years past. Besides, we watch the same holiday specials every year, so we can revisit the same holiday themed blogs, right? 😉 For our final blog of the year we will look at How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

During this holiday season I hope we are all like the Grinch. Pretty strange thing to say, right? Let me explain why I feel this way. You may know the story of the Grinch. He is a grumpy creature who decides he will try to steal Christmas from the Whos. He concocts an elaborate scheme and then steals all of the presents, decorations, etc. in an effort to ruin their holiday. This negative attitude is what we often associate with the Grinch, but this isn’t the end of his story. The Grinch grows as a character, and life is all about growing, changing, and becoming better.

The Grinch has stolen the gifts, and then he hears the Whos singing. All of a sudden it hits him right as his sleigh full of gifts starts to go over the cliff. “And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say – that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day. And then – the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of *ten* Grinches, plus two!” He saves the gifts from falling over the cliff, rides into Whoville, and serves the roast beast at the feast.

The reason I hope we are all like the Grinch this year is because he grows and becomes a better person. He begins filled with apathy, malice, and grumpiness, and then he allows love in and it fundamentally changes him. How have you changed and grown this year? Wherever you are right now, we have the chance to be better. Imagine how different the world be if all of our hearts grew like the Grinch’s.

Here is to all of us knowing what it feels like when our hearts grow three sizes in a day.

As always, thanks so much for reading. Your reading and encouragement throughout the year is the best gift I could ever ask for. Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, and happy holidays for anything you might be celebrating! I hope you disconnect and recharge. I hope you find peace, love, and fulfillment.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Valentine’s Day and Reflections on Love (2-14-24)

On top of it being Wednesday, it is also Valentine’s Day. With that in mind, this week I want to share a few miscellaneous reflections on love.

This is going to sound weird. I’m convinced that emptying the dishwasher is one of the most loving things I do for my wife. She HATES dealing with dishes. She hates having to put them up. She hates having a counter full of dishes. Because of all of this, I try my best every morning to make sure I’ve emptied the dishwasher and cleared the counter before she wakes up. It won’t ever make it on a hallmark card, but it’s a gesture of love. Sometimes, showing love is about being a good partner.

Over the weekend, Diane made ravioli and Texas toast. I sat at the table and saw a plate full of Texas toast, and then I heard the oven timer go off. I was confused why that was happening when the bread was right in front of me. Diane said, “That timer is for your pieces.” She knows I like mine a little crispier than they like theirs, so she left mine in the oven a few extra minutes. The result was garlic perfection. Sometimes, showing love is paying attention to small things and proactively taking action.

Earlier in my marriage, Diane didn’t always feel that I listened to her, which was always surprising to me, because I would take in what she was saying and come up with great ways to address her issues. The problem is that most of the time, she didn’t want solutions, she just wanted to be heard. I learned that I needed to do a better job of asking and understanding what she wanted. Did she want to vent? Was she looking for empathy? Was she looking for suggestions and solutions? I now ask her those questions when I’m unclear, so I can ensure I’m listening to her in the right way. Sometimes, showing love is about listening and ensuring they feel heard.

My wife is phenomenal, and what she does day to day teaching and helping our kids grow is nothing short of a miracle. It’s a bummer that they don’t give awards and Inspire points for things like that. That’s why the most important thing I can do is make sure she knows how much I appreciate her. This might be a hug. It might be a small surprise. It might be a simple text telling her that she is crushing it as a parent. Sometimes, showing love is about showing appreciation.

I don’t know about you, but I have bad days sometimes. I even have bad weeks or months, where I fall a bit out of it, get lost, and become frustrated and angry at myself. Eventually, I remember to love myself again, which is important because you can’t love others if you don’t love yourself first. Sometimes, showing love is about first remembering that you are always worthy of love.

What do these reflections have to do with anything? Here’s the secret. All of the above examples are about my love for my wife, AND they all apply to every other relationship I’m in whether that is friendships with college buddies or working partnerships with co-workers. They likely apply to every single relationship you are in too.

The challenge- How will you show love to others?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting and Showing Appreciation (3-24-21)

Last week was about parenting and prioritization. This week is about parenting and showing appreciation.

My wife and I were hanging out in the living room with our daughters. I started to talk about how proud of them I am and how they’ve been great recently and how much we appreciate them. My girls get a little sheepish and one of them jokingly says, “Here comes the dad talk.” I laughed, gave her a huge hug and said, “Dang right it’s the dad talk!” Then, I continued to talk about how proud I am and how much I appreciate them for being who they are, because one of the most important things I can do as a dad is ensure that my girls ALWAYS know how much they are valued and loved. I try to consistently demonstrate this with my actions and my words, even if the girls give me a hard time for giving the “dad talk.”

What does this have to do with work? Similar to being a dad, one of the most important responsibilities of a leader is ensuring their people feel valued and loved. Our current environment is making it hard to do this. The world is moving so fast and as we continue to work from home we lose many of the organic touchpoints we would have to demonstrate how much we appreciate each other. With this in mind, we need to be more intentional than ever about making sure people feel valued and loved. We need to slow down and ensure these conversations are happening and that our words and actions cut through all of the noise. Imagine for a moment. What if we got so great at making people feel valued that the next time we started to tell someone we appreciate them they would interrupt us to jokingly say, “It’s the leader talk again.” 😉 Imagine how different it would feel to be at work if this was the case.

The challenge: How are you being intentional about showing appreciation and making people feel valued and loved? What action will you take TODAY?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Pumpkin Spice and Letting People Love What They Love (11-11-20)

Last week was about trying something new and making Halloween costumes. This week is about pumpkin flavored things and letting people love what they love.

As soon as it gets close to fall, the pumpkin announcements begin. You know what I’m talking about. The announcements from all the restaurants about all things pumpkin spice. Pumpkin spice lattes. Pumpkin custard and ice cream. Pumpkin flavored beer. All of a sudden, pumpkin is EVERYWHERE! Once those announcements start, there is another wave that comes. That wave is the wave of hatred for all things pumpkin and for the people who love pumpkin flavored things. It sounds like this, “Pumpkin is gross! Why in the world would you want pumpkin in your drink? Why would you ruin good ice cream with pumpkin spice?”

What does this have to do with anything? I personally don’t like pumpkin flavored anything. At the same time, if that’s your thing, you do you. One of my main philosophies in life is that as long as the thing doesn’t hurt the person or other people, let folks love what they love. If you are a person who goes pumpkin wild in the fall, go get it in! Life is too short to miss out. If you have some other fall thing you love, go get that too. Just don’t waste your time hating on the people who do love pumpkin spice. (All of this also extends to people decorating for Christmas. If you want to put those up now, enjoy! If you like to wait until after Thanksgiving, that’s cool too.)

Now, while this all is kind of silly because we are talking about pumpkin spice, can you see how it applies to other things? Have you ever judged someone because of a passion that they had? Have you ever looked at someone who believed something different than you (that didn’t really matter or negatively impact anyone) and judged them for it? I know I have. I know I can be better.

The challenge: Can you let people love what they love? More than that, can you be excited for them finding what they love?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Loving Yourself as Much as You Love Others (10-14-20)

This is the final entry in the series of lessons I learned from my wife being in the hospital. It’s about loving yourself as much as you love others.

Throughout the entire ordeal with my wife I went through an interesting downward spiral of emotions. Obviously, I was worried about her and my family. I also felt guilty that I wasn’t being a better husband, dad, friend, and employee. I wasn’t ever there at the hospital enough for her. When I was at the hospital, I wasn’t there enough for my kids. Throughout all of this I wasn’t attentive enough to what I had going on at work. I was disappointed I wasn’t doing anything well and then was disappointed that I was disappointed. Then, one night I wrote the words in the image above. I think it was supposed to be a poem, but it never quite made it. Instead, it became some truth I needed to hear.

How does this connect to anything? After weeks of feeling guilty and disappointed about being a failure, I finally looked in the mirror and realized I wasn’t giving myself the same love I’d give other people. If a friend going through similar stuff had been so hard on themselves I would have told them, “You know I love you right? I understand and appreciate your feelings. I also want you to know that you’re being completely unfair to yourself. You’re in an impossible situation. You’re being as human as you can be, and that’s exactly what you should be doing right now. I’m here for you. You are doing all the right things. Love and appreciate yourself.”

Have you ever felt the way I described in the beginning of the post? Have you ever felt guilty and disappointed in yourself, because you were being human in an impossible situation? If you have, just know you aren’t alone. If you have, I hope you learn to love yourself as you love others.

The challenge: Will you love yourself the way you love others?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Love is Action (10-5-20)

Special edition of the blog coming to you early this week. It’s about love being an action and not just a feeling.

I knew that I loved my wife early in our relationship when we started dating in college. I had the butterflies, the warm feelings, and everything that you think of when you think of young love. If you would have asked me then what love is, I would have described it in those terms. Over the years, I’ve learned that love is so much more than those feelings. Love is also action. Over the past couple of months in my life, love has been the small actions. Love was visiting my wife at the hospital, giving my girls extra hugs since mommy wasn’t home, being a shoulder to cry on, and showing up when my family needed me. These small actions brought me closer to the ones I care the most about.

What does this have to do with work? We don’t talk about love very often at work, but maybe we should. Everyone needs a little love, care, and compassion. When have people at work made you feel loved and cared for? What did they do?

As I continue to grow older and gain new experiences, I continue to realize how love is often expressed best in consistent small actions. Love is a note with a motivational message delivered to my house. Love is a text message asking, “How are you doing?” Love is an email saying, “This made me think of you.” Love is someone checking in to see how you’re doing. Love is someone giving you perspective you didn’t know you needed. Love is someone listening as I vent. Love is all of these little things and more done consistently by teammates and colleagues that help us feel whole. Now, more than ever, we could all use a little bit of that love.

The challenge: What small actions are you committing to show love for others?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Island of Misfit Toys and not Fitting the Mold (12-6-17)

Last week we looked at Prep and Landing and the importance of everyone doing their part. This week I want us to reflect on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. More specifically, I want us to think about the Island of Misfit Toys.

In case you’re not familiar with the story of Rudolph let me give you a synopsis. Essentially, it’s a story of misfits. Rudolph is a misfit because his nose glows red. Hermey is a misfit, because he is an elf who wants to be a dentist instead of a toy maker. Rudolph and Hermey run away and end up on the Island of Misfit Toys. The island is home to toys who don’t exactly work in the typical way and/or toys that look different from the norm. For example, there is a train with square wheels, a polka dotted elephant, and a Charlie-in-the-Box (instead of a Jack-in-the-box). Eventually, everyone realizes that even though Rudolph and his friends are “misfits” they are still good people. Even though the toys might be different, they can still bring joy to children. By the end of the show, people finally begin to accept them for who they are.

You might already be making some connections between this story and life. The way I think about it, we are all humans, which means to some degree we are all misfits or at least we have all felt like we didn’t fit in at some point in our lives. If you connect this idea to work, it means we aren’t all going to fit the mold and that’s okay. Even if you don’t fit “the mold” you can still be great at whatever you do. I work in market research and am amazed at how talented everyone is and how different we all are. While we are all different from each other, we are all able to help the business define problems, understand customers, and make decisions. In my case, I might be a polka dotted elephant, but my polka dotted elephantness works for me. In the same token, I know all kind of people in sales, operations, HR, legal, medical, regulatory, etc. who are great for different reasons. We all have our own idiosyncrasies, strengths, and styles that shape us and enable us to be successful.

Another connection can be made if you look at life in a broader sense. Just because we are misfits doesn’t mean we are undeserving of love. The thing that has always bothered me the most about Rudolph is that a lot of people treated him like garbage, because his nose glowed. It’s not because Rudolph was a jerk. It’s not because Rudolph was an uncaring animal. It’s because his nose glowed. We are all misfits. We all deserve love and we all should give love to everyone else.

The challenge: Are you embracing your inner misfit? Are you giving love to the people around you?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry