Professional and Personal Quarterly Check-in (3-27-24)

This week’s entry is about quarterly check-ins for work and for yourself. It’s a longer email, because I’m including my own quarterly self-assessment as an example.

As we finish out the end of Q1, I find myself doing a lot of reflecting on the progress that has been made on various projects and tasks at work. I’m asking myself things like, “Where are we now compared to where we were at the beginning of the quarter? Were we able to achieve our goals? If so, how do we keep up the momentum? If not, what should we adjust to do better? How can we ensure we regroup and are clear and focused for Q2?” It seems like a perfect moment to pause, reflect, regroup, and plan before attacking Q2.

What does this have to do anything? While this is great for work, we could apply this same thinking to our personal lives as well. What are some of your goals for 2024? How did you do with them in Q1? Have you stopped to CELEBRATE your progress? Stop RIGHT NOW and celebrate something you’ve achieved. After you celebrate, then you can reflect and see if there are any gaps. If you have gaps, why do you have gaps? What happened? What got in the way? How can you adjust to reach your goals for this quarter?

The challenge: Will you take the time to do a quarterly check-in? What changes will you make to set yourself up for the rest of the year?

Bonus: Here is my review based on the dimensions in my life I set goals for. Hopefully, it sparks a thought or two for you. Also, just know if things have been tough lately, you’re not the only one. Bottom line- tough quarter, and I need to bounce back. The picture of me flipping a tire is from my most recent obstacle course race and summarizes my Q1 in a nutshell. It was all about moving heavy stuff and getting through it. I did it, but dang it was so much harder and uglier than I wanted it to be, or it needed to be.

Intentionally Invest (D+)- This is my mantra for the year. This is about being intentional about where and how I invest my energy. Investing my energy means doing the right things that help me be the best version of myself. I gave myself a bad grade, because I wasn’t intentional. I got overwhelmed by a lot of things and just started recklessly spending energy. It wasn’t helpful and it didn’t help me get to where I wanted to go.

Mental Health (C-)- Overall, I want to feel like I’m in a good, strong, solid mental state. In full transparency, life and work just kicked my butt this quarter. The stress was overwhelming and was too much for me to manage in an efficient way. I got really lost and stuck trying to trudge through everything. Feeling lost and stuck drained so much of my mental energy. I spent so much energy here that I didn’t spend it on taking care of myself. I am proud of myself for getting some help. Moving forward, I need to use the new tools I’m developing, so I won’t get so stuck. If I can do that, everything else will improve dramatically.

Physical Health (C-)- The goal is to take good care of myself, so I can do the things I want to be able to do. The only reason I’m not giving myself a worse grade, is because I did manage to at least hold things together enough to complete a couple of obstacle course races. Other than that, I was inconsistent with working out, my sleep was poor, and my nutrition was abysmal. I’m ready to do better in Q2.

Family (ugly hard-earned B)- The goal is to feel like I’m being an amazing husband and dad. As they say in The Inside Job podcast, “Life gets lifey.” It’s been a hard few months with each day seemingly bringing new challenges. I give myself an “ugly hard-earned B” because it’s like one of those things in school where you have to put in so much effort you dang near exhaust yourself just to make it. I was not necessarily excellent, but I found ways to hold it together. It’s an ugly B, but one I can be proud of. At the same time, I think some work and mental health challenges got in the way of me being on the top of my game here.

Career (ugly hard-earned B)- The goal is to feel like I’m delivering magic. It’s a high bar about being in a flow state and getting incredible things done. Similar to my Family category, challenges kept popping up and compounding on themselves day in and day out. As a result, this quarter was filled with nothing but peaks and valleys, and they couldn’t have been further from each other. At times I was operating at a high level, and there were other times when I felt like an ineffective burned-out piece of garbage. This is another hard-earned ugly B that left me a little bruised and roughed up. I believe I focused on the right things. It just so happens that all the right things were the extremely difficult, and it was like carving through ambiguity made of marble while walking through quicksand. It took so much energy to keep slogging forward, and I know I was burned out for a period of time. On the positive side, I’m proud of myself for finding a way to regroup. I feel I’m getting my energy and magic back. All I need is a little more momentum, and then I’ll be like the Juggernaut (bonus points if you get the X-men reference)

Financial (B)- The goal is to ensure we are saving/investing money in the right way. I’ve already shifted money for investments. Some of these have been home repair things (replacing the hot water heater has been AMAZING!) and some of these are investing in fun vacations for later in the year. I do acknowledge that I was wasting too much money on junk food and stuff as I was super stressed.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lies of P, Poison Levels, and Stress (3-20-24)

Last week was about blaming the controller vs taking accountability. This week is about Lies of P, poison levels, and stress.

My kids were watching me play, and they noticed that I started losing health. They were confused, and they asked me why I was losing health even when the monsters weren’t hitting me. I explained to them that the area I was in was full of poison (called Corruption in the game). At first, the poison doesn’t do anything. It just slowly builds up. However, once it hits a critical limit, the poison begins damaging my character, and my health quickly fades. In order to survive, I needed to equip poison resistant armor, use items that reduce poison, and find safe places where there wasn’t poison.

What does this have to do with anything? Instead of it being a level in a video game, let’s call it work or life. Instead of it being poison in a video game, let’s call it stress. Similar to my video game, the stress level builds over time. At first, I don’t even notice it. The levels rise over time, and then all of a sudden it hits HARD. Anyone else been there? When this happens, I’m no longer the person, husband, dad, friend, and employee I want to be or could be.

We are never going to live in a world without stress. However, we can try to be more cognizant of stress, our current stress levels, and what we can do. Similar to the poison armor, I know I handle stress better when I’m routinely taking care of myself. Similar to the item that takes poison away, I know that getting outside, moving my body, and talking with someone helps clear stress out of my system. Similar to needing to find a poison free space in the game, sometimes I know that I just need to step back and away from everything.

The challenge: How will you recognize and deal with rising stress levels?

Bonus vulnerability moment- The short version is that the last few months have been hard in many aspects of life. Using our analogy, my poison/stress meter had been overflowing for some time, and I wasn’t who I wanted to be. I decided to leverage our Lyra benefit and talk to a therapist for the first time. During our initial conversation I said, “I’m surviving right now, but I want more than that. I deserve more than that. My family does too. I need tools or something to help me.” It’s only been a couple of sessions so far, but I’m so thankful I reached out. I share all of this to say that if you’re talking to someone, you’re not alone AND I’m proud of you for asking for help. If you’re thinking of talking to someone, you’re not alone, AND I’m proud of you for recognizing that you might benefit from help. It’s okay to want/need help sometimes. It’s part of being human.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lies of P, Blaming the Controller, and Taking Accountability (3-13-24)

Last week was about being open to suggestions from anywhere and anyone. This week is about Lies of P, failing, and blaming the controller vs taking accountability.

I died dozens of times when playing Lies of P. You can imagine how frustrating it was to fall short over and over again. When I died in the video game the easiest thing to do was to blame the controller. Obviously, I did all the right things, the controller is just bad (#sarcasm). While that might make me feel better and absolve me of any accountability, it also takes away my power to improve. If I truly put all the responsibility on the controller, then the only way the problem can be resolved is if the controller is magically fixed, which isn’t going to happen. This means I’m now stuck and powerless in that situation. However, if I’m willing to take accountability, then I have the power to change. I can begin to look at the root cause, and then find a way forward. Maybe that means I need to change my attack strategy. Maybe that means I need to level up my character. Maybe it means I need to increase my understanding of the game mechanics and how to use them. Maybe it means I need to ask for help.

What does this have to do with anything? Have you ever fallen short at work? I know I have. When you fell short have you ever “blamed the controller” instead of taking personal accountability? Did you ever blame the situation, the leader, the lack of clear direction, a teammate, or someone or something else? I know I have. Similar to our video game story, when I put all the responsibility on external circumstances or people, I also give up my power to fix things. However, if I’m willing to take accountability, then I have the power to change. I could look at the failure and understand the root cause. Maybe, I lacked an understanding of what I needed to accomplish, which means in the future I can ask better questions. Maybe, I didn’t have the skills, which means I can improve my skillsets and ask for help. Maybe I totally misunderstood the situation, which means I could do a better job of slowing down and figuring things out first. Maybe, I had conflicting direction, which means I can pull those people in the room and say, “I’m hearing you say X. I’m hearing you say Y. We need to decide what the path is.” The bottom line is if I take accountability, then I claim my power to change things instead of being at the whim of external forces and circumstances.

The challenge: Will you take accountability or will you “blame the controller”?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Discomfort, Paralysis, and the Glacier Leap (2-7-24)

Last week was about discomfort and psychological safety. This week is about discomfort, paralysis, and the Glacier Leap.

The Glacier Leap is one of the obstacles at the Abominable Snow Race. You start by climbing up an incline wall (covered in snow/ice/slush) until you are on top of the first structure and about 7 or 8 feet off the ground. This is where things get interesting. You have to jump to the next structure making sure you position your body correctly and grab the bar tightly or you will fall.

When I got to the top of the structure, I watched as people would stand at the edge and peer down. You could feel them becoming more and more uncomfortable until they ultimately became paralyzed at the thought of falling. At that point, they wouldn’t jump. Instead, they’d turn around and climb down without ever giving it a try. I knew that the same thing would happen to me if I didn’t move quickly. I made a decision. I would step up to the edge, count out loud, and jump on three. Any more hesitation and the discomfort would turn to fear would turn to paralysis. So, I stepped up, counted to three and jumped! My hands grasped the bar, my feet hit a patch of ice on the wood, and I instantly slid down and fell. It wasn’t exactly pleasant. 😉 At this point, I was determined (or dumb), and refused to let this obstacle beat me. I climbed back up. This time I had an advantage, because I knew exactly what the discomfort felt like. I knew exactly what falling felt like. I had survived, and now those things weren’t so scary. I stepped up, counted to three, and jumped! This time I made it! With my heart beating out of my chest, I stepped up and jumped to the next platform! Success!

What does this have to do with anything? Whether you’re doing an obstacle course race or performing your role at work, sooner or later we all run into a patch of discomfort. When that happens it is easy for the discomfort to turn into fear which turns into paralysis. Have you ever experienced this at work? I know I have. I’ve walked out of situations and said, “I wish I would have asked this. I wish I would have said that. I wish I would have done something different, but I just froze.”

I wish I had a magic way to avoid this, but I haven’t uncovered one yet. All I’ve found is that once the discomfort starts setting in, I need to move. I need to take some kind of action before the discomfort becomes fear and before the fear becomes paralysis. During the obstacle course race I counted to three and then jumped. Counting was the trigger to move. What could your trigger to move be at work? Maybe you write down the statement or question you think you’ll want to make, so when you start to freeze you can just read off the paper. Maybe your action isn’t dealing with something that day, but scheduling time on calendars to handle it in the future. Maybe it’s recognizing that the paralysis is taking over and just stepping out of the situation to catch your breath.

The challenge: How will you ensure discomfort doesn’t paralyze you?

#yetination #abominablesnowrace

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Performing Poetry in Bars and Embracing Discomfort to be Successful (1-24-24)

Last week was about choosing when to feel discomfort. This week is about performing poetry in bars and embracing discomfort to be successful.

I remember one time earlier in my career, when I had crushed a presentation in front of a difficult audience that peppered me with tough questions. Afterwards, a person asked me what my secret was. I replied, “As a hobby I perform poetry in bars. Imagine presenting in a room where everyone is loud and obnoxious. Imagine sharing deep parts of yourselves and then getting a low score on the poem. Imagine being booed. None of that is pleasant. Besides the poetry, I do dry runs where I ask people to come at me hard with stuff to throw me off my game. That gets bumpy. You live through that ugliness a few times, and the official presentation becomes a lot easier.”

Where is this going? A large reason why I was successful presenting in a tough situation is because I had spent so much time embracing discomfort. As a result, my mind and body were ready for the discomfort when the stakes were real. The pressure from the situation and the tough questions weren’t anything new. They were things I had dealt with and more importantly overcome time and time again. Once the pointed questions started coming, it’s like my muscle memory took over and just handled things. However, if I would have never experienced discomfort like that before, I would have frozen.

Think about work for a moment. How often are you embracing situations that cause discomfort? How often do you truly encourage people to challenge you and your thinking? How often do you do a dry run and ask people to critique you before the real presentation? How often do you role play through difficult feedback and conversations, so you can be prepared for the real convo? If you’re anything like me, you probably don’t create or invite these situations as often as you should. While none of those situations are particularly pleasant, consistently embracing discomfort in lower stakes instances make it a lot easier to tolerate that discomfort when things are on the line.

The challenge: How are you embracing discomfort to grow and be better?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Legos and Building and Rebuilding Ourselves (2-15-23)

This will be the final entry in the Lego series. We’ve looked at Legos as they relate to details/the big picture, evidence and trust, and mistakes being the beginning of something. This week is about Lego bricks and building and rebuilding ourselves.

The picture to the right is a bin filled with Legos. They come in all different sizes and shapes. Some are short. Some are long. Some are wheels. Some are oddly shaped. Some are bricks. Some are characters. Eventually, they are all brought together to build something. Maybe you build a robot or a car or a house or something else entirely. The beauty in all of this is that we can use those same blocks to build and rebuild over and over again, each time building something new and unique. You can take those exact same blocks and build masterpieces, only limited by your imagination.

What does this have to do with anything? What if I told you that your life is just a bunch of Lego bricks. All of the elements of who you are and all of the things you ever experienced are merely Lego bricks. Some are beautiful. Some are sad. Some are joyous. Some are painful. Some are quirky and unexpected. Some are calming. All of these “bricks” live inside of you. The beauty is that you have the ability to build and rebuild yourself over and over again. This is the beauty of being human. We’re not stagnant. We are always building. We always have the ability to rebuild ourselves and help rebuild each other. We can create glorious messy human masterpieces, only limited by our own imaginations. If that’s not a miracle, I don’t know what is.

The challenge: What will you build with the Lego bricks of your life?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry