Tag: accountability

Lies of P, Blaming the Controller, and Taking Accountability (3-13-24)

Last week was about being open to suggestions from anywhere and anyone.  This week is about Lies of P, failing, and blaming the controller vs taking accountability.

I died dozens of times when playing Lies of P.  You can imagine how frustrating it was to fall short over and over again.  When I died in the video game the easiest thing to do was to blame the controller.  Obviously, I did all the right things, the controller is just bad (#sarcasm).  While that might make me feel better and absolve me of any accountability, it also takes away my power to improve.  If I truly put all the responsibility on the controller, then the only way the problem can be resolved is if the controller is magically fixed, which isn’t going to happen.  This means I’m now stuck and powerless in that situation.  However, if I’m willing to take accountability, then I have the power to change.  I can begin to look at the root cause, and then find a way forward.  Maybe that means I need to change my attack strategy.  Maybe that means I need to level up my character.  Maybe it means I need to increase my understanding of the game mechanics and how to use them.  Maybe it means I need to ask for help.

What does this have to do with anything?  Have you ever fallen short at work?  I know I have.  When you fell short have you ever “blamed the controller” instead of taking personal accountability?  Did you ever blame the situation, the leader, the lack of clear direction, a teammate, or someone or something else?  I know I have.  Similar to our video game story, when I put all the responsibility on external circumstances or people, I also give up my power to fix things.  However, if I’m willing to take accountability, then I have the power to change.  I could look at the failure and understand the root cause.  Maybe, I lacked an understanding of what I needed to accomplish, which means in the future I can ask better questions.  Maybe, I didn’t have the skills, which means I can improve my skillsets and ask for help.  Maybe I totally misunderstood the situation, which means I could do a better job of slowing down and figuring things out first.  Maybe, I had conflicting direction, which means I can pull those people in the room and say, “I’m hearing you say X.  I’m hearing you say Y.  We need to decide what the path is.”  The bottom line is if I take accountability, then I claim my power to change things instead of being at the whim of external forces and circumstances.

The challenge: Will you take accountability or will you “blame the controller”?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting Mistakes and Taking Accountability (8-23-23)

Last week was about exploring and being curious.  This week is about parenting mistakes and taking accountability.

Let me set the scene.  I had been trying to fix the toilet.  I was irritated, sweating, wet, and just straight up grumpy.  I go from this to jumping into a parenting situation, and I get way too angry about something that doesn’t even really matter.  I’m yelling at Cameron and saying things like, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!  I ASKED YOU TO DO ONE LITTLE THING!!!! GO DO WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO!!!”  Cam just looks at me like a deer trapped in headlights.  My wife comes in from the garage to see what the heck is going on.  That’s when it hit me that I had totally lost my mind.  I take a couple of deep breaths, go to Cameron and say, “I’m so sorry.  I didn’t mean to yell at you, and you didn’t deserve to be yelled at.  This had nothing to do with you and everything to do with how frustrated I am with the stupid toilet right now.  I’m sorry.”  It took Cam a few minutes to get out of deer trapped in headlights mode, and then he was okay, and he knew we were cool.  #notmybestparentingmoment

What does this have to do with anything?  We aren’t going to get it right every time.  We are human.  We are going to make mistakes.  We are going to lose our cool.  We are going to say/do things we shouldn’t have done.  When we make those mistakes, all we can do is recognize them, take accountability, apologize, and work to make things right.  While losing my cool wasn’t my best parenting moment, I think modeling to Cam what accountability looks like and what apologizing looks like are important lessons.

Think about work for a moment.  Think about the people who have made mistakes and refused to take accountability.  How did that feel?  How did that impact your relationship with them?  Have you ever been that person?  I know I have.  On the flip side, have you worked with people who have taken accountability for their mistakes?  How did that transform your relationship with them?  There are few things more impressive to me than folks who are willing to own their mistakes.  It’s one of the quickest ways to gain my trust.

The challenge: How will you take accountability for your mistakes?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry