Author: Andrew Embry

If you mixed diet mountain dew, funk music, dragons, hip hop, superheroes, and lightning in a blender you’d end up with Andrew Embry. He is part wordsmith and part alchemist, able to use his Batman utility belt to turn anything and everything into a story worth telling that is equal parts insightful, memorable, inspiring, humorous, and entertaining. Andrew is comfortably creative in almost any setting, but especially when he is performing spoken word poetry. His enthusiasm for words comes from the way he loves people and the little nuances of life that make it worth living.

Alice Needed to be Held (3-4-20)

This week we will start a series on lessons I’ve learned from being a dad. This week will be about my daughter Alice and needing to be held.

I was behind at work. I had SOOOOO much stuff I felt I needed to do. Normally, I don’t work too much at night, I’m more of an early bird, but I was so behind I was looking forward to catching up. Then, my plans changed. Alice (almost 8), had a rough day. Nothing major was horribly wrong, but it was one of those days where you woke up on the wrong side of the bed and couldn’t catch a break for the rest of the day. In fact, she had a few of those days in a row. My wife was putting the girls to bed while I was working, and by this point Alice was a collection of sadness, tears, anger, fury, and so many other emotions. She was fighting with her sister and lashing out at my wife. I knew I had soooo much stuff to do, but from her behavior, I knew that Alice needed snuggles. She needed someone to hold her, to be there with her. I stopped my work, went upstairs, and snuggled up beside her. I was there for a long time, eventually falling asleep. I got up the next day, still far behind in my work and not where I wanted to be, but with a daughter who woke up feeling loved.

What does this have to do with anything? There are two connections I’d like us to consider. First, much like Alice, I think we all need to be held sometimes. Held could be in the physical sense, but often it’s in the emotionally supportive sense. Maybe it’s having lunch, fishing, visiting, or just sitting together that lets someone know they aren’t alone. This embrace gives them strength.

The other connection is that it’s easy to get caught up and view the need to stop and embrace others as an inconvenience. It’s easy to say, “I have so much to do that I can’t stop for that right now.” Have you ever felt that way? I have…even with my own kids sometimes. It’s easy to feel this way and miss that tender and powerful moment, because you won’t necessarily be penalized. You won’t be penalized, but you will miss out on the power and love that moment will give you. You’ll miss out on the chance to help someone and to become a little closer.

The challenges: Will you allow yourself to be “held”? Will you stop to “hold” others?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Being Vegetarian and More (2-26-20)

This will be the last in the series about diversity, inclusion, and my wife being a vegetarian. This week is about recognizing that what makes people different is part of them, but not the whole story.

Last summer, Diane and I were with a family and they were grilling. Diane had decided that she wasn’t in the mood for veggie burgers, so she didn’t bring any over. Instead, she was happily enjoying all the other food available, including homemade potato salad which is one of her favorite things ever. Diane is completely content. Then, Bob realizes that he’s grilling burgers and doesn’t have anything to grill for Diane. He mentions it, and Diane says, “I’m great. If I wanted the veggie burgers I would have brought them.” Bob won’t accept this. He keeps going on about how Diane is a vegetarian and now she’s making a sacrifice, since he’s not grilling anything for her and how she should have bought some veggie burgers. He keeps going on and on about this, and it’s awkward. Bob is taking one element of what makes her who she is, and is blowing it way out of proportion. This isn’t the first time Bob has done something like this.

Where is this going? My wife is a vegetarian. This is something that has an impact on her life. At the same time, being a vegetarian is not all she is. She’s a wife, a mom, a daughter, a person who loves kids, a writer, a painter, a gardener, a cook, a reader, and so many other things. If you view my wife as only one element of what makes here who she is, then you’re doing her a disservice. Doing this takes a beautiful and complex individual and turns her into a one dimensional being. If we step away from my wife being a vegetarian, I feel the idea applies to other elements of diversity. Does your gender/race/ethnicity/sexual orientation/other element of diversity shape who you are? Yes. Do they play a large role in shaping who you are? Most definitely. Are any of those individual elements the only thing that makes you who you are? No. As people we are shaped by our elements of diversity, AND we are also greater than the sum of those individual parts.

The challenge: To be truly inclusive, we need to be able to see, recognize, and appreciate how people’s elements of diversity shape them, while at the same time seeing that they are so much more than those individual things. We need to be willing to put in the effort to embrace the WHOLE person.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Being Curious, Embracing Differences, and the Impossible Burger (2-25-20)

Last week was about how being “the other” can often lead to bias and judgment. This week is about how you can approach “the other” from a place of curiosity and eventually embrace them. When my wife first became vegetarian some people were judgmental, some were apathetic, but my dad was curious. He had a genuine interest and talked to Diane about what she ate, how she got her protein, if the veggie burgers had got any better since he had tried them years ago, and other questions. On top of that, when Diane cooked my dad was curious enough to try things, and he was totally surprised to find out that he likes tofu and other vegetarian dishes.

The other day my dad went out to eat by himself and had an Impossible Burger, a meatless burger. When he told me this, my jaw dropped and hit the ground so hard it broke in three places. After I got over the shock I asked him why he tried it. He said something like, “Well, the stuff that Diane fixes is pretty good. This seemed like it was worth trying. It was so good that if I went back there, I’d get the Impossible Burger again.” My dad went to a burger place on his own and got the most vegetarian thing he could get… and he enjoyed it. This was not the same guy I grew up with. He had definitely changed. His curiosity led him to try something and now he was embracing something different.

You might be wondering where this is going. When you encounter diversity, you can respond in 1 of 3 ways. You can be judgmental, apathetic, or genuinely curious. Think about work. When you have been different how often have people responded to you in each of those three ways? How did you feel when people responded to you in each of those ways?

As we explored last week, all too often when we meet someone who isn’t like us and who does things differently than us, our first instinct is to be judgmental. Our first instinct is to say, “That’s not right. That’s not the way it’s done.” If we aren’t judgmental, we are often apathetic. We look and say, “They’re different and that’s okay,” and then we stop there. However, sometimes, we begin with genuine curiosity and we move to the point where we embrace the differences. These are the times that we transform ourselves and the relationships we have with others. These are the times when we grow.

The challenge: When you encounter differences will you brave enough to be genuinely curious?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Vegetarianism, being “The Other”, and Judging Individuals (2-19-20)

Last week was about my wife being a vegetarian and how my mom puts in extra effort to include her. This week is about being a vegetarian and being “the other”.

Not everyone embraced my wife’s vegetarianism like my mom did. Some people were judgmental and had negative comments. They’d say things like, “Why in the world would you do that? Can you even eat anything? Are you trying to starve yourself? You grew up eating meat, what’s wrong with that?” In each of these situations, my wife became “the other” because she was doing something different from the norm. Since she was “the other” people judged her and reacted negatively toward her, even if her choice didn’t impact them.

What does this have to do with anything? If you’re anything like me, you’re probably perplexed that people could get so upset about something that had no negative impact on them. While it’s easy to see how wrong it is in this situation, I’d argue that this is a mistake we ALL make. At some point in our lives we all have treated (and continue to treat) people as “the other” because they are different from us and what we consider the norm. At work treating someone like “the other” might sound like this, “That outfit isn’t appropriate at work (by my standards).” “Why are THEY acting like THAT (being too loud, laughing too much, smiling too much, not smiling enough)?” “That person doesn’t seem very professional (by my standards).” “Yeah, that’s not how WE do things HERE.” “The people in the other business unit or on the other team do X…(when we all know Y is the ONLY way to do it).” How have you been viewed as “the other” by people at work?

We know it doesn’t feel good to be branded as “the other”. With that in mind, have you ever said any of above things? I have, and sometimes I still find myself thinking those things. It’s a built in bias that tells me if you aren’t one of “us” then you are “the other” and being “the other” is bad. The interesting part of this is that in all those situations, someone being different from me has NO negative impact on me. In all those situations, what makes a person “the other” has little to no correlation to how they perform as an employee or how they might be as a person. This built in bias to see “the other” in people is harmful. I’ve discovered that if I’m not actively confronting that bias, then I lose the ability to see the beauty inside of people.

The challenge: How do we check our biases, so we don’t judge “the other”?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Vegetarianism, Inclusion, and Taking Action (2-12-20)

This week we are going to start a series about diversity, inclusion, and how people respond to differences. We are going to do this by looking at some of the ways people have responded to my wife (Diane) being a vegetarian. Important note: I don’t think my wife’s vegetarianism is the same as ______ (insert your element of diversity). Depending on your element of diversity you are bound to face more scrutiny, criticism, prejudice, etc. I do believe there are interesting parallels worth exploring, regarding how people respond to individuals who are different. We’ll start this series by looking at my mom and putting forth extra effort to include others.

My wife and I grew up in meat and potatoes households. A few years ago my wife became a vegetarian. Fast forward to today. Whenever we have a meal at my parents’ house, my mom puts in the extra effort to ensure there will be plenty of food that Diane will like. Sometimes, this means that my mom creates an extra dish. Sometimes, this means that my mom makes one version of the dish with meat and one without. My wife always tells my mom, “You didn’t have to do that.” My mom responds with, “It’s no trouble.” When my mom says, “It’s no trouble,” what she really means is, “I had to put in a little extra effort, but it is worth it because you are worth it.” As a result, Diane feels loved, because she sees and feels the extra effort my mom puts in to ensure she’s included.

You might be wondering where this is going. Inclusion is about bringing people in. The truth is that including people who are different than you requires extra effort to build trust and bring them in. It requires you to be more thoughtful, loving, and deliberate than you need to be if you are always surrounded by people just like you. While including people requires more effort, the pay-off is worth it. In the above story, my mom takes action to include Diane. My mom doesn’t brag or complain, she just puts the work in to make my wife part of the family.

Think about work for a moment. Have you ever been in a situation where someone put in the extra effort to include you? How did it feel? Have you ever been in a situation where someone didn’t put in the effort to include you? How did that feel? Which situation would you rather be in? Each day, we have the option to either put in the effort to make people feel included or not.

The challenge: Are you putting in the effort to make people feel included?

The tough challenge: Talk to 5 people you work with and ask if they feel you put in the extra effort to include people. If anyone hesitates before replying, you have room to grow.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Goat Simulator and Embracing Who/What you are (2-5-20)

This will be the last in the video game series. It’s about a game called Goat Simulator and embracing what you are. Games might be enjoyable because of their stunning graphics, engaging story, or challenging nature. Goat Simulator isn’t any of those things. Instead, it is a ridiculous and random experience unlike anything else I’ve played. In the game, you play as a goat and run through the city breaking things, jumping, doing flips, riding bicycles, transforming into a floating angel and licking stuff to earn points. The game knows exactly what it is and leans into its unique weirdness. The game is ridiculous, and my girls LOVE it!

What does that have to do with anything? Goat Simulator is enjoyable, because it fully embraces what it is. At work it’s easy to get caught up in the idea of who and what you should be. It’s easy to look around and see successful people who are X, Y, and Z, and believe you have to be those things to be successful. This happens to me. Does it happen to you? As a result, it’s easy to lose yourself and try to be something/someone else. I wish we could all embrace who and what we are, as much as Goat Simulator does 😉

Vulnerable Embry story. Recently, I updated my Linkedin profile with a tagline describing myself as a “spark igniting storyteller.” Someone I have a lot of love for sent me a text message and told me that they were glad I was finally embracing this part of myself. They once described me like this to my face, and I responded so negatively it caught them by surprise, because that is obviously who/what I am.

I explained to her that for the longest time I HATED how people talked about me as a storyteller or a poet at work, because that didn’t match what I thought success was supposed to look like. If success looked like X, Y, Z, then I was a weird Q just messing up the alphabet. (#self-conciousAndrew #self-doubtAndrew) Over time I’ve become better at embracing who/what I am, and how that can enable me to be successful. Much like the goat game, there are a lot of things that I’ll never be, but what I am can be special and my uniqueness works in a lot of interesting ways. The same is true for you.

The challenge: Are you embracing who and what you are?

Bonus vulnerability- Before you think to yourself, “Andrew totally has this figured out,” I don’t. Just a few months ago I had been talking to folks and they were giving me compliments about being a creative storyteller, and my brain went to a place of self-doubt and insecurity. I just kept thinking to myself that just once I wanted someone to start the conversation with “Andrew’s is pretty smart and clever marketer” as opposed to making it sound like I’m some weird poet fueled by magic. Eventually, I realized I was being ridiculous, stepped out of my head, and went back to appreciating who I am.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Embracing the Reset Button (1-29-20)

Last week was about Braid and challenging assumptions. This week is about video game systems and the reset button.

I loved the original Nintendo, but I have to admit it could be pretty glitchy at times. Sometimes the games would work fine. Sometimes they would start well, and then get wonky. Other times, they were buggy from the beginning. See the picture to see what I mean. Whenever a glitch like this happened, you had to ask if it was something you could deal with. Sometimes it was a minor color issue, so you could go ahead and play. Sometimes, it was a major issue. When this happened, you’d have to press the reset button. This would restart everything, and give the game a fresh start, often solving the problem.

What does this have to do with anything? In video games you reset to have a fresh start and another chance when things were kind of glitchy. Think about your life right now. Are there things that are kind of “glitchy”? Maybe it’s a series of routines or bad habits that are getting in the way of you taking great care of yourself (#totallyme). Maybe it’s a relationship that has some baggage and tension. Maybe it’s a project that seems to be a little lost. Whatever it is, have you considered pausing to hit the reset button? Have you looked at those habits that are harming you and thought about replacements that could help you? Have you taken a deep breath, offered yourself and others some forgiveness and started over? Have you paused to reassess the work, regroup, and figure out a new path forward?

Too often in life we keep going forward even when things get “glitchy”, because we think we have to. However, if you were playing a video game where things were so glitchy it wasn’t working correctly and you couldn’t perform, you wouldn’t keep playing. You’d stop, reset the game, and try again. Why can’t we do more resetting in life?

The challenge: How are you embracing the reset button?

Havea jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Braid and Assumptions (1-22-20)

Last week was about Super Mario brothers and finding the humanity in evil fish. This week we will look at challenging assumptions, changing perspectives, and a game called Braid.

As we mentioned last week, Super Mario is about saving a Princess from an evil monster. Braid is very similar. You play as Tim, and your goal is to save your girlfriend who has been kidnapped by a monster. Here come some spoilers. Braid feels like a new and improved Mario until it comes to the ending. After defeating all of the evil monsters and conquering the trials and tribulations, you finally get to your girlfriend. You think you’ve saved the day, but then the game reveals something to you. The game reveals that you are actually the evil one. This entire time you’ve been chasing after her thinking you are a good guy going to save her, but actually you are an extremely possessive boyfriend trying to get back the woman who left you. You aren’t saving her. She is running AWAY FROM YOU. #Mindblown.

Assumptions, plot twists, and perspective shifts. The developers of the game were familiar with the assumptions we usually make when we play video games, and then they leveraged those assumptions to create an experience that turned those assumptions around. Our assumption in a game is that we are the hero, and if we are the hero it means we will save someone. The developers took this assumption and flipped it upside down. What if our character wasn’t the hero? What if he was actually the villain? What if the entire time the “hero” was trying to “save” her, he was actually chasing her because she wanted to get away from him? How would that change the experience? Those simple questions completely shifted the paradigm and the experience playing the game.

How does this connect with work? Think about all of the assumptions we make in our work. We assume that customers want X. We assume that we need to develop A in order to be successful. We assume great leaders do Q. Do we know those assumptions are 100% true and accurate? Do you ever spend time questioning those assumptions? What if X isn’t true? What if our customers really want Y instead? What if we don’t have to be great at A? What if we really need to be great at B? How would this change things? How would this information change the games we are all playing?

The challenge: Are you accepting reality as it is presented to you or are you challenging the assumptions we make?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Even Evil Fish have Birthdays (1-15-20)

Last week was about Tetris and building the right foundation. This week is about Super Mario and seeing the humanity in evil fish.

A few years ago I was playing Super Mario Brothers with my wife. In case you’re not familiar with the game, it’s your job to rescue the Princess from King Koopa. You play through a variety of levels to accomplish this task, including the dreaded water levels. We were at a water level, and to say it caused my wife to be anxious would be an understatement. She is terrified of any water level in video games. There is something about how the fish can move faster than your character that creeps her out. Anyway, we were in a level where this giant fish would jump out of the water and swallow you whole.

This fish terrified her. It got her every time and at one point, my wife got extremely frustrated and talked about how much she hated the fish. I said something along the lines of, “Come on, don’t hate the fish. Even evil fish have birthdays,” trying to make a joke about how even an evil fish shares something in common with her. She laughed, and now that quote hangs on one of the walls in our house.

So what does this have to do with anything? Although I said it jokingly, the point behind the comment was still true. Just because this fish thwarted her at every turn, didn’t mean she needed to hate it. This fish she completely opposed and her had at least something in common. Throughout my life I’ve found that when you disagree with someone, it’s easy to paint them in a horrible light. It’s easy to forget they are also human, and once you forget their humanity, it’s easy to turn them into a monster. Once they are a monster, it’s easier to hate them. It’s easier to justify treating them poorly. It’s easier to no longer feel like they deserve any amount of love, respect, or empathy. I imagine as you read this, a few dozen examples jump to your mind.

The challenge in all of this is remembering that the people you disagree with, even the people who are totally different from you are still human, and until we connect as humans it’s often difficult to move forward. The challenge: Will you strive to see the humanity in others?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Tetris and Building the Right Foundation (1-8-20)

I hope that you enjoyed your holidays and your time off. During my break I had the chance to play some video games, so video games will be the inspiration behind our series to start the year. We will start with Tetris and the importance of building correctly from the beginning.

I have always loved Tetris and used to play it with my mom when I was a kid. In case you’ve never played, Tetris is a game where different sized blocks descend from the top. Your job is to stack those blocks in neat rows. If you stack them neatly and complete a full horizontal line, that row of blocks disappears and you get points. The longer you play, the faster the blocks descend, and sooner or later everything is moving so fast you are unable to stack things correctly. Once the blocks have been stacked incorrectly and reach the top of the screen, you lose. If you look at the picture on the right, you can see that things aren’t going so well for our player.

What if I told you Tetris and life are basically the same thing? Tetris and life are about building correctly AND intentionally. Both are about ensuring you build the right foundation, in the right way, so you can adjust as blocks (or life’s challenges) come at you faster and faster and faster. In Tetris and life the difference between surviving the onslaught of challenges and losing all comes down to how well you built when you started. This could refer to building relationships, marketing strategies, brands, finances, and anything else in life.

Looking back at 2019, I’m proud of what I accomplished at work. With that said, I know there’s room for improvement. As I look back I realize that if I would have spent the time to build some of the right foundations, some of the challenges I faced would have been easier to overcome. If I would have done a better job of pausing to look ahead, I could have seen those obstacles before they came crashing down on me. Seeing these obstacles would have given me time to grab them, pivot them, and place them like Tetris blocks instead of them getting slammed into the middle of my world messing stuff up. Did any of you feel this way about last year?

The challenge: Are you building the right foundation to handle life as it throws pieces at you faster and faster?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry