Author: Andrew Embry

If you mixed diet mountain dew, funk music, dragons, hip hop, superheroes, and lightning in a blender you’d end up with Andrew Embry. He is part wordsmith and part alchemist, able to use his Batman utility belt to turn anything and everything into a story worth telling that is equal parts insightful, memorable, inspiring, humorous, and entertaining. Andrew is comfortably creative in almost any setting, but especially when he is performing spoken word poetry. His enthusiasm for words comes from the way he loves people and the little nuances of life that make it worth living.

Being New and Engaging with Self-Doubt (9-13-23)

Last week was about being new and embracing humility. This week is about being new, engaging with self-doubt, and asking for evidence. By the way, the idea of asking for evidence comes from The Inside Job Podcast.

Whenever I’ve started a new role, Self-Doubt has crept in whispering that I don’t belong there, telling me I’m not good enough, etc. #impostorsyndrome Has this happened to you? When this happened to me the first few times in my career, the Self-Doubt was so strong it was paralyzing. As I grew older, I’ve tried different approaches to managing Self-Doubt. I tried to ignore it, and that would lead to it getting louder and louder. I tried combatting with anger and a “Forget you!” attitude, and that didn’t exactly seem to work either. Now, I engage with my Self-Doubt like I would talk to anyone else making claims.

Here is how that conversation goes. Self-Doubt says, “You aren’t going to be good at this new job.” I respond and say, “Show me your evidence. Here’s what I have to support that I will be successful. First, I was given this opportunity, and my boss wouldn’t have given it to me if they thought I would suck. My new boss told me they hired me for X and Y reasons, and I’ve delivered those in every role I’ve been in. I have a track record of being successful. None of this means I’m the best person on the planet. All these things would suggest that I have a good chance of success. What is your evidence to the contrary?” It’s weird how Self-Doubt quiets down after that conversation. It’s weird how Self-Doubt starts to be more honest after that conversation. Self-Doubt moves from “All of you is horrible” to “There are some specific tasks and challenges that you might not be ready for yet.” This truth is helpful, because then I can use that Self-Doubt as something to learn from. I can use it to identify potential blind spots and then create a plan to address them.

What does this have to do with anything? Self-Doubt can be deafening. It finds one little crack and then spreads like poisonous gas, affecting everything in its area. While this is true, we don’t have to let it. We don’t have to ignore Self-Doubt. We don’t have to attack it in anger. We can challenge that Self-Doubt, the exact same way we would challenge anyone else making a claim. We would ask them for the evidence and rationale to back it up, and we would supply our own to support our position. The challenge- How will you engage with Self-Doubt?

Bonus: Speaking of self-doubt, I recently achieved a major goal of mine. I completed a marathon length obstacle course race (26.2 miles and over 100 obstacles). Self-Doubt tried to creep in on this too. Here is how my conversation went. “Dude, if you’re telling me to doubt myself, because I’m not going to win. You’re right. I’m not going to win. That’s not the goal. I just want to finish. Where is your evidence I won’t finish? Here’s what I have saying I will. I’ve completed 2 marathons (one in rain and one in cold), been training for this race for months, and finished obstacle courses in an Arizona desert, snow in Wisconsin, and 13+ miles of running up hills at a ski resort. My legs feel strong, I have plenty of fuel, and you couldn’t ask for better weather today. If I can do all of those things and the current circumstances are in my favor, it’s just a matter of time at this point until I cross the finish line.” Self-Doubt stayed quiet.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Being New and Embracing Humility (9-6-23)

I took a new role about 3 months ago, so for the next few weeks I want to explore things I’ve learned from that experience. We will start with being new and embracing humility.

I was competent in my last role. I knew what was going on. I knew how to solve problems. I knew who to reach out to for different things. I felt awesome about myself. Then, I started my new role and all of that was gone over night. I had tasks I didn’t know how to do, surrounded by people I didn’t quite know, and had a major knowledge gap in certain areas (technology 😉). It’s jarring to go from being competent to being incompetent overnight. Have you ever felt this way?

No one likes feeling incompetent, and the temptation is to try to hide that from the world. I’ve found the best thing to do is to embrace humility and be willing to own the fact that I’m new and don’t exactly know what I’m doing. I had conversations that went like this, “Hey boss, I’ve never done this task before and have no idea what the expectations are and what I’m supposed to do. I’m D1 (situational leadership). If you don’t explicitly tell me to do something I won’t know what to do. Can you spell this out for me?” I’d also have situations, especially when talking with the Tech@Lilly team where I’d say, “I need to stop you for a moment. I need to summarize to make sure I’m following. I think you’re saying X. Is that right?” Sometimes I was correct, and sometimes I was off in another galaxy.

What does this have to do with anything? While it may have felt awkward and a little intimidating to be vulnerable about my incompetence, embracing humility and having these conversations ensured I was learning what I needed to learn in order to perform at my best. Additionally, I think my colleagues appreciated the vulnerability and clarity, so they knew how to help me. Think about the people you work with. Would you want them to be open about where they need help or would you rather them try to bluff their way through it? I’m assuming you’d want them to be honest, which should give us all encouragement to be open about where we are with a given task. Finally, if I want to be a good leader, then being open about what I don’t know and where I’m less skilled sets the stage that it’s okay to be open and vulnerable, which are two traits of a great culture.

The challenge: Will you be brave enough to embrace humility?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting- Doing the Right Thing is Exhausting (8-30-23)

This is going to be the last entry about lessons I’ve learned being a dad. This week is about how doing the right thing is exhausting.

The other day my wife and I collapsed on the couch. We were mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. Parenting had beaten us down over the past few weeks. Have any other parents felt like that? Anyway, we looked at each other and started talking about how it would be so much easier things could be. It would be easier to use our authority to control our kids vs give them freedom. It would be easier if we just told our kids to suck it up vs helped them identify and deal with their emotions. It would be easier to tell the kids that the things that bother them don’t matter vs helping them figure out how to work through them. It would be so much easier stop them from ever experiencing pain and rejection vs watching them go through those things. Those things would be easier, and we probably wouldn’t be so tired. All of those things would be easier, but they probably wouldn’t be best for our kids. The hard things are exhausting, and they are worth it. My kids are so much stronger, compassionate, independent, and well-rounded than they have ever been. They have grown so much, and I couldn’t be prouder.

What does this have to do with anything? Doing the right thing is exhausting. The above examples might have been framed as parenting situations, but they likely apply to any relationship you could be in. Think about work for a minute. What are other scenarios we find ourselves in where doing the right thing is exhausting? It’s easier to go along trying to do everything vs taking the time to make tough prioritization decisions. It’s easier to not give tough feedback to someone vs holding them accountable for their performance. It’s easier to get lost in the day to day vs carving out time to be strategic about where you are trying to go. Doing the right thing is hard. If you ever find yourself exhausted after doing the right thing day in and day out, just know that’s okay. Know that’s normal. Doing the right thing is exhausting, AND it’s necessary for growth. When you find yourself tired, take care of yourself, rest up, and continue doing your best to fight the good fight.

The challenge: Will you keep doing the hard thing, even when it’s exhausting?

Bonus- Last week I had the honor of performing poetry at our Level Up DEI conference. The poem is about fitting in vs belonging. Follow this link if you want to check it out. https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7102454896259469312/

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting Mistakes and Taking Accountability (8-23-23)

Last week was about exploring and being curious. This week is about parenting mistakes and taking accountability.

Let me set the scene. I had been trying to fix the toilet. I was irritated, sweating, wet, and just straight up grumpy. I go from this to jumping into a parenting situation, and I get way too angry about something that doesn’t even really matter. I’m yelling at Cameron and saying things like, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?! I ASKED YOU TO DO ONE LITTLE THING!!!! GO DO WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO!!!” Cam just looks at me like a deer trapped in headlights. My wife comes in from the garage to see what the heck is going on. That’s when it hit me that I had totally lost my mind. I take a couple of deep breaths, go to Cameron and say, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you, and you didn’t deserve to be yelled at. This had nothing to do with you and everything to do with how frustrated I am with the stupid toilet right now. I’m sorry.” It took Cam a few minutes to get out of deer trapped in headlights mode, and then he was okay, and he knew we were cool. #notmybestparentingmoment

What does this have to do with anything? We aren’t going to get it right every time. We are human. We are going to make mistakes. We are going to lose our cool. We are going to say/do things we shouldn’t have done. When we make those mistakes, all we can do is recognize them, take accountability, apologize, and work to make things right. While losing my cool wasn’t my best parenting moment, I think modeling to Cam what accountability looks like and what apologizing looks like are important lessons.

Think about work for a moment. Think about the people who have made mistakes and refused to take accountability. How did that feel? How did that impact your relationship with them? Have you ever been that person? I know I have. On the flip side, have you worked with people who have taken accountability for their mistakes? How did that transform your relationship with them? There are few things more impressive to me than folks who are willing to own their mistakes. It’s one of the quickest ways to gain my trust.

The challenge: How will you take accountability for your mistakes?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Taking Things Apart, Exploring, and Being Curious (8-16-23)

Last week was about defaulting to compassion. This week is about taking things apart, exploring, and being curious.

This week kicked off our 4^th year of homeschool. On top of my wife teaching the kids at home, they also have a couple of co-op programs they attend. This semester my wife is teaching a class at the co-op that is all about taking things apart. On Monday she brought in a bunch of old printers that people had donated to her. She gave the class their own set of safety goggles and tools, a quick lesson about tools and safety, and then let them get to work dismantling the printers. The class LOVED this! They went right to work with their tools, carefully deconstructing the printers to gain a deeper understanding of how they worked. They loved having their curiosity guide them as they explored things they hadn’t seen before. At the end of the class, they asked my wife if they could keep some of the pieces from inside the printers to keep studying.

What does this have to do with anything? Have you ever been in a situation where you thought to yourself, “Why wasn’t that person more curious? If they would have just asked a few more questions they could have figured it out instead of jumping to a poor solution?” I know I’ve thought things like that. Have you ever been the person who didn’t take the time to explore? I’ve been that person too.

Our story this week is all about taking the time to be curious and explore something. I’m assuming that many of us were like those kids when we were younger. Maybe we loved taking things apart with our hands. Maybe we loved asking zillions of questions to understand how EVERYTHING works. As we get older, it’s easy to lose that curiosity. It’s easy to get so caught up that we lose the willingness to explore things. As a result, we miss out on the chance to think critically about how things work and we miss out on opportunities to make things better. Just think about how much better work and life would be if we all spent a few extra moments from time-to-time deconstructing and exploring things, whether they are policies, machines, relationships, or our own feelings.

The challenge: How will you make the time to explore and be curious?

#mywifeisprettyamazing

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Defaulting to Compassion (8-9-23)

Last week was about being curious vs judgmental in tough conversations. This week is about not knowing what to do and defaulting to compassion.

The other week I was trying my best to deal with a particularly challenging parenting situation. By the end of the day, I was exhausted and exasperated. I talked to my wife and said, “I’m just lost right now. I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t know how to support and help our kids. There’s no playbook for this. I think we might need to talk to the therapist about this to get some ideas.” My wife responded with something along the lines of, “Yeah, this is really tough and been hard for some time. Maybe the therapist will have some ideas. There’s not exactly a play to follow with specific moves to make. However, there are general guidelines and the first is to always try to act with compassion in the situation. As long as we can keep doing that, we can figure everything else out.”

What does this have to do with anything? I don’t know about you, but sometimes I find myself in situations where I’m not exactly sure how to lead. I’m not exactly sure how to navigate the conversation. I’m not exactly sure what to do. When this happens, it’s easy to freeze, because there is no clear path forward. However, like my wife said, while there may not always be a clear step by step guide to follow, I can always act with compassion. I can always ensure that my next move is to step CLOSER to someone vs create distance. I can always put forth the effort to try to understand and show empathy. We may not always know the best path to take, and acting with compassion will NEVER be a bad choice.

The challenge: How are you acting with compassion in messy and challenging situations?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Tough Conversations and Being Curious vs Judgmental (8-2-23)

Last week was about transforming experiences with a little effort. This week is about tough conversations and being curious vs judgmental.

A few weeks ago, my dad told me that he wanted to talk to me about parenting and my kids. Right now, I’m assuming that a fair amount of you reading this are cringing, because you can see how quickly this can go poorly. Parenting easily can feel extremely personal. I’ve been in those situations where the conversation is just a sneaky way for the person to judge you and tell you everything you’re doing is wrong without understanding your situation. Have you? Those chats don’t particularly feel good. The conversation with my dad wasn’t anything like that. It was a great chat, because the moment we sat down he made it clear that he wanted to understand things from my perspective.

He starts by admitting that he can only see one part of what is going and that he doesn’t have the full story. He also acknowledges that the rules have changed a lot from when he and my mom raised my brother and me. This sets the stage that this is a conversation to learn and not judge. From there we dive in. He shares an observation he has and how he is connecting the dots based on his experience. I respond by saying that I also have seen what he has observed, and I can see how he connects the dots the way he does. Then, I offer some additional context he doesn’t see every day and how that’s shaping the parenting decisions we are making. We keep repeating this pattern as we dive deep. We talk about parenting in a completely different world and entirely different challenges he and my mom didn’t have to encounter. We talk about mental health and navigating how to parent and lead in a family with neurodivergence. I talk about how we are thankful to have therapists to help us navigate situations that I’m not equipped to lead through. We talk about my family’s decision to homeschool, and how we are constantly balancing mental, physical, emotional, and social health with that decision. We talk about the fine balance between showing support and raising resilient kids, especially in a world that may not accept them. I share how I feel I’m over my head sometimes, because there isn’t an obvious playbook to navigate all these situations and sometimes it’s just about making the best trade-offs with the information we have. Throughout all of this, my dad asks follow-up questions to better understand and shares how he had never considered some of the angles before. By the end of everything, I can’t say that my dad fully understands or fully agrees with all my decisions. It would be hard to fully understand without being in the same situation. At the same time, I can say that he has a deeper understanding and that he is not passing judgment. I left the conversation feeling so good that we had it, and blessed I have a dad I can talk about these things with.

What does this have to do with anything? Think about work and life for a minute. Have you ever been in a situation where you thought you were going to have a conversation to share ideas, when the other person just wanted to pass judgement? Have you ever been that person who passed judgment instead of seeking to understand? I know I’ve been that person. We like to think that we are open minded and non-judgmental, but how true is that? How open are we to learning and considering something different from what we believe? In our story this week, there are so many ways that conversation could have went poorly and ultimately caused harm to our relationship, but it didn’t because my dad approached things from a place of genuine curiosity.

The challenge: Are you TRULY seeking to understand? How open are you to learning and growing?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Transforming Experiences with a Little Extra Effort (7-26-23)

Last week was about creating spaces where people can be real. This week is about transforming experiences with a little extra effort.

We stayed home during the week of July 4^th. We did a few small things like rode our bikes, played miniature golf, shot water guns, and did some crafts. It wasn’t anything too cool, but if you talk to my kids they light up and get excited like it was the best week ever. Here’s why. We all love the most recent Legend of Zelda video game, so I thought I could make things a little more special if I put in a little effort to make July 4^th a Zelda inspired week. Instead of just doing activities, I connected those activities to events that happen in the game. For example, we had to explore the land to find Zora’s Domain (bike riding). We had to save a town from pirates (miniature golf at a pirate themed place). We tried the Goron minecart shooting game (water gun fights). We built signs to show President Hudson we support him (structures made of spaghetti, pipe cleaners, and marshmallows). I hid bananas on our front porch and said they were left from the Yiga clan. Now, some of those things may not have meant much to you, which is totally okay. My kids got all the references and enjoyed how they tied the activities we did to a game we all love.

What does this have to do with anything? Every single day we create experiences for people around us. We might create experiences for customers who use the products we support. We might create experiences for teammates and co-workers. How would you describe the experiences you create for others? Are they positive? Are they neutral? Are they negative? Are they meaningful? In the grand scheme of things, the activities I did with my kids (bike riding, miniature golf, crafts) weren’t that unique or impressive. However, the moment I put in a little extra effort to connect those activities to a something my kids cared about, the experience transformed into something more special. By being a little more intentional and putting in a little more effort we can create experiences that truly resonate with others.

The challenge: How are you enhancing the experiences you create for people?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Creating Space to Be Real (7-19-23)

Last week was about listening to fear AND the Brave voice. This week is about creating spaces where people can be real.

We go to my parents’ house every year for the 4^th of July. We grill out, my mom makes enough food to feed a small army, and then we hang out enjoying yard games, playing Uno, telling stories, and watching fireworks. I can’t remember what got us started, but my mom shared a story about a stupid mistake she had made recently. As she shared it, she laughed at herself and her mistake. We all started laughing along with her. From there, everyone else starts jumping in and sharing mistake stories too. We begin calling ourselves out and each other. We give each other a hard time out of love for the dumb things we’ve done. It’s a great vibe. The energy opens the floodgates for my kids to be their silly selves, and once they got going everyone was rolling on the floor laughing. Later that night as were driving home, Alice (11) said, “I like that at grandma and grandpa’s house that we can all laugh at ourselves. I like that we can be a little crazy. It feels good.” As her dad, I was so glad to hear this, because all I want for my kids is for them to be able to be who they are.

What does this have to do with anything? Alice may not be aware of the concepts of vulnerability, authenticity, or psychological safety, BUT she knows how those things feel. She knows that her grandparents love her unconditionally, and that she can be herself there. She knows she can make mistakes and talk about them, and people won’t judge her or think less of her. She also knows that not all places are like this. She knows that not all places feel like that. There is something special at grandma and grandpa’s house, and it starts with them being comfortable laughing at themselves and talking about their mistakes. It starts with them taking actions to set the stage to create a welcoming environment.

Think about work for a minute. Have you ever been on a team where you could really lean in and be yourself? Have you been on teams where you couldn’t? How different did the two teams feel? What did people do to make you feel like you could be yourself? The challenge: What are you doing to create spaces where people can be vulnerable and be themselves? (Here is my elbow nudge- If you can’t instantly think of the things you’re doing to create these spaces, that’s likely a sign that this is an area where you can improve)

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Fear and the Brave Voice (7-12-23)

This week I’m going to kick off a series about lessons I’ve learned from being a dad. This entry is about fear and the Brave voice.

Lately, Cam and I have had a lot of conversations about fear. He talked about how the voice of fear was always too loud, and he couldn’t get it to shut up. One night I explained it to him like this. “The problem isn’t that fear is too loud. The problem is that it’s not being balanced by the Brave voice. Fear is doing its job. Fear’s job is to look out for you. It’s just that fear talks A LOT. The Brave voice says, ‘I hear you fear. Thanks for the input. You make some good points. I’m safe AND I got this!”

This all comes into play during a recent trip to Hoosier Heights, an indoor climbing facility. Cam starts climbing but won’t go up very high because of his fear of heights. We talk about the fear and how the Brave voice tells fear, “I hear you AND I got this.” Cam slowly starts working to face this fear. He climbs a little higher on his own. I climb beside Cam and together we go a bit higher. Each time he does a bit better and better. He continues to build confidence and realize that he’s safe AND he has everything he needs to be successful. Eventually, he makes it to the top of the wall for the very first time! He was so excited and proud!

What does this have to do with anything? If you’re anything like me, you get scared sometimes. Maybe you’re afraid of heights. Maybe you’re afraid of public speaking. Maybe you’re afraid of everyone finding out you’re an impostor. When I was younger, I would try my best to just ignore the fear voice, but that never worked. I would hope that the fear would go away, but that never worked either. The fear is always there somewhere. I’ve learned that I need to listen to fear. I need to give it a chance to say what it needs to say, because it is just trying to look out for me. Then, I need to thank the fear for doing its job, ask the Brave voice to weigh in, and then let fear know I got this.

The challenge: Will you listen to fear as it does its job? Will you make sure your Brave voice is talking too?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry