Author: Andrew Embry

If you mixed diet mountain dew, funk music, dragons, hip hop, superheroes, and lightning in a blender you’d end up with Andrew Embry. He is part wordsmith and part alchemist, able to use his Batman utility belt to turn anything and everything into a story worth telling that is equal parts insightful, memorable, inspiring, humorous, and entertaining. Andrew is comfortably creative in almost any setting, but especially when he is performing spoken word poetry. His enthusiasm for words comes from the way he loves people and the little nuances of life that make it worth living.

Marriage and Support (6-14-23)

Last week was about marriage and the idea of equal contribution.  This week is about marriage and showing support.  By the way, today is our 15-year wedding anniversary!

One of the things I am most thankful for in my relationship with my wife is how we have supported each other through the years.  This support can take different forms, based on what we NEED at the time.  Sometimes, support is listening to each other vent, even though we’ve told the same frustrating story a zillion times.  Sometimes, showing support is offering help.  Sometimes, showing support is backing decisions that were made..  Sometimes, showing support is saying, “You’ve had a rough few days.  I’ll handle the kids and the house.  Get out of here and do whatever will bring you joy and energy.”  Sometimes, support is saying, “I love you.  In this instance, you’re wrong.  We need to talk about it.”  Sometimes, support is saying, “You are being too damn hard on yourself.”  Having someone who is always there for me has made a world of difference when facing life’s challenges.

What does this have to do with anything?  Life is hard.  Having someone there to support you is huge.  With that said, supporting each other shouldn’t just be limited to marriage and significant others.  We can and should support friends, family, and work colleagues.  Similar to the example with my wife, this support can take on many forms based on someone’s needs.  Sometimes, support is showing up.  Sometimes, support is helping remove obstacles and barriers.  Sometimes, support is being and ally and friend.  Sometimes, support is advocating for someone.  Sometimes, support is giving tough feedback. 

The challenge: How are you supporting people in your life? 

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Marriage and Equal Effort (6-7-23)

Last week was about marriage and small acts of recognition.  This week is about marriage and the concept of equal effort. When I was first married, I think I wanted to make sure things were always equal.  For example, I’d handle the dishes one time, and she’d handle them the next time.  When taken too far, this created resentment.  Have you ever said to yourself, “I’m doing all the work around here.  They are a lazy punk!”?  Maybe that’s just me 😉

Over time, I realized that our relationship would never be 100% equal for a few different reasons.  First, we have different skillsets, and we should make the most of those skillsets. Second, we have different interests or aversions to different household tasks.  For example, my wife enjoys cooking and I don’t particularly like it.  My wife HATES cleaning bathrooms with the fire of a thousand suns, and while it’s not my favorite thing to do, it doesn’t trigger intense loathing for me.  The third reason is that on any given day/week/month we might have more or less capacity to handle things.  If we need 100 units of effort to run our house, sometimes we both have plenty of energy and can split that 50/50.  Sometimes, one of us might need to recharge, so they can only put forward 20 and the other person picks up the 80.  Sometimes, we are both worn down, and we agree that there is no way we can get to 100.  At that point, we just agree that we need to hunker down, lower our expectations to just making it through the night without killing everyone, and probably put on a movie for the night.  Anyone else been here?  At the end of the day, as long as we are both contributing to our greater whole, we are doing the right things.

What does this have to do with anything?   This has some parallels with other relationships we have whether it’s family, friends, or work colleagues.  It’s easy to get fixated on the idea of equal effort meaning that everyone needs to contribute the exact same amount.  Instead, contribution doesn’t always have to be exactly equal, as long as we find a way to ensure the contributions add up to the greater whole.  We can think about contribution from the other lenses we explored including skillsets, what people enjoy/dislike, and individual capacity.  Where does it make sense to have them lean more heavily into their strengths?  Where does it make sense to have them lean into their passions?  How do we adjust things based on an individual’s capacity (work, emotional, physical, and mental)?

The challenge: How will you think differently about relationships and equal effort?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Marriage and Small Acts of Recognition (5-31-23)

In about a month, I’ll celebrate my 15-year wedding anniversary with my wife, Diane.  In honor of that, this series will be about lessons I’ve learned over those 15 years.  We’ll start by talking about the importance of small acts of recognition.

Our family has a lot going on right now.  I’m working multiple jobs and trying to be cool like a duck on the pond while my legs frantically move under the water.  Summer is starting.  Alice has her first major play and is having rehearsal every night for multiple hours.  Cam has been going crazy about going to the pool since it opened.  There’s a lot of stress/excitement/energy making everyone a bit crazy right now.  Sound familiar to anyone else? 😉  Needless to say, it’s been a lot.  Yesterday, Cam was having a particularly difficult day, and my wife handled it beautifully with incredible patience and listening.  She sent me a text update about the situation.  I could have just said read the message and moved on.  Instead, I immediately said, “Great parenting! You’re the best!”  We went on to offer a few words of encouragement and recognition to each other.   

What does this have to do with anything?  I’ve found that in our almost 15 years of marriage, it’s easy to get so busy and wrapped up in the day-to-day grind and routine that I miss a chance to show my appreciation for my wife.  I’ve learned how far a few words of recognition and appreciation can go, especially when things are hectic.  The exact same thing holds true for work.  It’s so easy to get lost in the day-to-day that we don’t pause for a few moments to appreciate and value people for what they are doing. 

The challenge: How will you ensure you’re letting people know you appreciate and value them?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Night Obstacle Course Racing, Headlamps, and Moving Forward (5-24-23)

Last week I concluded a series about lifting by sharing a story from a recent nighttime obstacle course race.  Lindsey Caruthers reached out to me and suggested there was more to tell.  That got me thinking, and now this week is about running a night obstacle course race, headlamps, and moving forward.

A few days before the race, I got my hands on the course map.  I could see that it was going to be around 4 miles, mainly running through woods.  I knew there was going to be a lot of mud.  I saw the names of the obstacles, so I had an idea of what was going to come my way.  When I started the race, the sun was still out, so for the first 30 minutes I could see quite a bit in front of me, including the obstacles.  Then, it got dark.  That’s when everyone turned on their headlamps.  Now, instead of being able to see out in the distance, I was only able to see the few feet in front of me.  While this may have slowed me down a bit, it didn’t stop me.  While I couldn’t see as much as I once could, I could still see enough in front of me to keep going.  I could still see the marked trail.  I could see the obstacles as I approached them.  I could remember the obstacles on the map to estimate where I was on my journey.  I was able to stay focused on taking the steps in front of me over and over again, until finally I reached the finish line.

How does this connect to anything?  I’d argue that organizational change management efforts or leading projects is a lot like running an obstacle course race in the dark.  It would be so much easier if we always had a goal AND a clearly outlined path we could easily follow to get to that goal.  However, it doesn’t work that way.  You might have a general idea of where you are trying to go, but you like don’t have a clear line of sight to get there.  The path isn’t going to be easy either.  It’s going to be filled with mud and obstacles like resource demands, difficult stakeholders, last minute pivots, etc.  It’s easy to freeze and become paralyzed when things aren’t 100% clear.  The thing to remember though, is you don’t have to be able to see every step on the path clearly.  All you really need is a good head lamp in the form of a clear milestone or next step to take.  As long as you have this headlamp, you can keep moving forward, even if things are a little dark and tough.

The challenge: How can you keep your headlamp focused on the immediate next step, so you can keep going?

Bonus thought: I can’t remember where I saw this, but it’s always stuck with me.  I saw a presentation about how to successfully drive organizational change management.  They said you needed 3 things: A clear vision of where you’re going, a clear why that people can rally around, and an IMMEDIATE next step the audience can take toward that vision.  If folks get stuck, it’s because you don’t have those 3 things.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Assessing Progress, Lifting, and Adjusting Training (5-17-23)

This will be in the last in the series inspired by lifting weights.  This week is about assessing your progress, lifting, and making adjustments to your training.

This past weekend I completed Highlander Assault Dark Ages, a 4-mile obstacle course race that you do at night guided by a headlamp.  One of my favorite parts of racing is that it enables you to assess your performance, and what led to that performance.  You either completed an obstacle or you didn’t.  If you did, was it as easy as you wanted it to be?  If you didn’t, did you lack the strength, technique, or something else?  I had some areas I felt great about.  My legs felt fresh through the entire race.  I felt strong, flipping tires and carrying heavy stuff felt easier than it has in the past.  I also had some good failures.  I still didn’t make it up the rope, but I made it farther than I have before.  I have technique and strength gaps here.  I had a couple monkey bar like obstacles that I failed.  I still don’t have the grip strength I need.  After I reflected on my performance, I looked at my lifting/training plan.  It served me well in some areas, but there are other areas I need to tweak to get even better. 

You might be wondering what this has to do with anything.  In my obstacle course racing story, I completed a race, assessed my wins/losses, and then updated a training plan to make me better for next time.  I’ll execute this updated training plan until my next race, and then start the cycle all over again.  How often do you do this at work?  How often do you pause to honestly assess your performance?  When you do, how much time do you spend reflecting on what got you there?  How often do you create a plan that helps you develop new skills and techniques?    I think we could all do better at this.  I know I could.

The challenge: Are you assessing your progress?  How are you adjusting to become even stronger?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lifting, Bias, and a Hello Kitty Towel (5-10-23)

Happy Wednesday,

Last week was about lifting and different kinds of success.  This week is about a Hello Kitty towel and recognizing the bias we all have.

I was a few minutes into my workout in my house when I realized I needed a towel.  I was doing laundry, so my normal blue workout towel was being washed.  I went upstairs reached into the cabinet without looking and pulled out a Hello Kitty towel.  Instantly I thought to myself, “This is kind of girly for a workout towel, isn’t it?  I can’t use this,” and I dropped the towel.  A second later, I realized what thought had run through my brain and how stupid it was.  I paused and asked myself, “Why can’t I use this towel? All I need is something to wipe the sweat off my face.  If the towel would have been a different color and had Batman or Ninja Turtles on it, I wouldn’t have hesitated to use it.  Why should I treat this towel differently?” I picked the towel back up and used it. 

Are you seeing how this connects with bias?  I was working out by myself in my house, where there was no threat of anyone judging me.  Even in this environment, when I picked up the Hello Kitty towel, my first instinct was a biased one.  My first instinct was to say, “This is towel is too girly, and I’m a tough masculine man doing tough manly things like weightlifting.  Since that towel is so girly, it can’t be a part of doing tough masculine things.”  (Seriously, reread those two sentences and look at how many wrong ignorant assumptions are built in there.)  It wasn’t until I paused a moment to examine my thought process that I realized I was wrong and ridiculous.

I like to tell myself that I’m a good person.  I like to hope that I’m above having bias, but this was another reminder that I’m human.  If I can have a bias about an inanimate object when there isn’t anything at stake, then I know I have more biases lurking under the surface.  We all have biases.  It’s up to us to recognize these biases and then challenge them with each other and most importantly within ourselves.

The challenge: Will you recognize and challenge your biases?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lifting and Different Kinds of Success (5-3-23)

Our last entry was about using proper form to help us be stronger and more efficient.  This week is about lifting and different kinds of success.

A few of months ago, I wasn’t making any progress in my physical health and lifting journey.  I wasn’t gaining strength.  My body composition was staying the same.  I didn’t feel any better.  I was doing my best at the time, but not getting anywhere.  I felt like an unsuccessful failure.  Then, I took a step back and realized that life was throwing a lot at me right both personally and professionally.  In the midst of all of that crazy, making the progress I wanted to make would have been impossible.  I came to appreciate that while I may not have been moving forward at that exact moment, the fact that I wasn’t losing ground was a win.  Despite all life was doing, it wasn’t pushing me back.  It may not have been my ideal goal, but maintaining was success in those circumstances.

What does this have to do with anything?  Often, we picture success as crossing the finish line in first place, and anything short of that is failure.  After all, as the guru Ricky Bobby once said, “If you ain’t first, you’re last!”  As a result of this thinking, we often feel like if we aren’t achieving our ideal of success then we are not worthy.  That’s how I felt during that month.  Have you ever felt that way?  In these moments, it’s important to step back and realize that victory can take many forms.  Success isn’t always about winning the race.  Sometimes, success is just finishing the race.  Sometimes, success is finding a way to keep moving forward.  Sometimes, success is not getting knocked back.  Sometimes, success is finding a way to get back up after being knocked flat on your butt.  Depending on what you’re doing, and the hand life is dealing you at the moment, success can look very different.  We need to accept that AND accept that we are always more than enough.

The challenge: Are you giving yourself the grace to understand what success looks like in the moment?

Bonus: I woke up this morning and I’m sore and exhausted, so my lifting success today is going to be taking a rest day 😉

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lifting, Proper Form, and Work (4-26-23)

The last entry was about coaching nudges, deadlifting, and good form.  Today, we will build on the idea of proper form as it relates to lifting and work.

As long as you have enough raw power, you can lift something even if you don’t have the right form.  This goes for weights, couches, boxes, and more.  However, lifting without good form does have a cost to it.  You could tire yourself out more easily, get injured, or not be able to lift as much as you could with the right form.  The fundamentals of good form increases your strength because it enables your body to capitalize on the synergy of your muscles moving together in the right way.  Like I mentioned in the deadlift story, I improved my form and was instantly able to lift more weight without getting tired or irritating my back.  In short, good form is the secret to taking your strength to the next level.

Let’s connect this to work.  Have you ever seen someone who winged an entire presentation?  Have you ever seen someone lead a meeting when they haven’t prepared for it?  Have you ever been one of those people?  I have.  Sometimes this has worked out okay.  Sometimes it has been a disaster.  Rarely, has it ever been as smooth and efficient as if I would have been more intentional about preparing and doing things the right way.  With all that in mind, these examples are great parallels to our metaphor this week.  In each instance, the person relied on their brute strength/skill as opposed to leveraging “good form”.  Whether it’s presenting, running meetings, scoping out projects, or anything else, there are usually a few key fundamental things/frameworks you can leverage to make it easier.  These frameworks are what good form is all about.  Sure, you might be able to do things on raw skill alone.  However, I guarantee you that combining that skill with the right form will make everything more efficient and easier.

The challenge: Are you seeking to understand what good form looks like before tackling a challenge?  How are you leveraging the correct “form” at work?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Deadlifting and Coaching Nudges (4-19-23)

This week we are going to start a new series inspired by lessons learned from working out.  We will start with deadlifting and coaching nudges focused on the right things.  This is inspired by an interaction I had with Rhonda Pacheco, so big shout out to her.

The other day I was chatting with Rhonda about work, life, and everything in between.  I can’t remember exactly how it happened, but we started to talk about exercising and lifting weights.  I had been struggling with deadlifting, so I asked her if she ever deadlifted.  When she said yes, I explained that even though I wasn’t lifting anything that heavy I could always feel it in my lower back, and I’d be sore for days.  This definitely shouldn’t be happening.  That’s when Rhonda said something along the lines of, “Sounds like something is off on your form.  The thing that helps me when I’m lifting are those small little cues to focus on.  For deadlifts, focus on pushing the ground down.  If you focus on pushing the ground down your body will naturally hinge in the right way and activate the right muscles.”  I didn’t believe it would be that simple.  The next time I did deadlifts I focused on pushing the ground down.  This felt SO DIFFERENT from what I had been doing before.  I was then able to do the reps without any soreness in my back and was able to add 10-15 pounds to my lifts.  #gains

What does this have to do with anything?  The coaching that Rhonda gave me was a small nudge focused on the right thing.  By helping me focus on the right thing with a tangible action, I was able to make large improvements.  She didn’t need a lot of words.  She didn’t need complicated models or verbiage.  She helped me focus on ONE SIMPLE THING.  Think about when you’ve received coaching in the past.  How often is it specific and focused enough that you know exactly what to do?  How often is it truly focused on the thing that matters?  Think about giving people coaching.  How clear is the advice that you give them?  How would following your advice have positive ripples in their work?

The challenge: How can you leverage small nudges to help people grow? 

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

King Knight and Knowing Your Limits (4-12-23)

Last week was about Super Mario 3D World and working together.  This week is about King Knight and knowing your limits.

The other day my son, Cam, came up to me and said, “How early do you need to start work tomorrow?”  I asked him why he wanted to know.  He told me that he was stuck on a particular level of King Knight, a Shovel Knight spin-off, and needed my help.  I smiled and told him I’d give him a hand.  The next morning, I helped him get past a particularly tricky part and got him to a checkpoint.  From there he kept playing on his own.  Eventually, he reached the boss of the stage.  The first time he faced the boss, he lost pretty quickly.  The 2nd and 3rd times, he lasted a bit longer.  He kept dying, and I thought he’d ask for help, but he didn’t.  He kept trying again and again, slowly making progress, until ultimately, he defeated the boss.  He was so proud of himself.  (Just look at his “I just dominated” pose 😉)

What does this have to do with life?  This is a story about Cam understanding his limits and responding accordingly.  He knew there was a part of the level that was way beyond his current skills, and that he would not be able to get past it on its own.  He was brave enough to ask for help to get past that part.  Later, he came to a challenge that was just a little bit past his current skillset.  He could have asked for help then, but he knew it would rob him of his chance to accomplish something within his grasp.  Instead of asking for help, he trusted himself and kept trying until he eventually succeeded. 

I hope we can all be a bit more like Cam.  I hope we can assess situations and realize that sometimes they are more than we can handle.  In those moments, I hope we are brave enough to ask for help.  Other times, I hope we have enough grit to know that we might fail a few times, but we will find a way to do this on our own.

The challenge: How well do you know your limits?  Will you ask for help at the right time?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry