Patios and Unplugging from Work (6-5-24)

This is the last in our series about patio furniture. This week will be about patios and unplugging from work.

Now that we have some comfy patio furniture and have created a better space, I’ve more or less made it a habit to spend a decent amount on my back patio every night. Sometimes, I sit back there and hang out with my family. We talk and catch up on the day together. Sometimes, I sit out there and read a book. Sometimes, I sit out there and just zone out, checking out the flowers, birds, and bunnies hopping along throughout the neighborhood. After a long day of handling work and family commitments, it’s nice to take a few moments to unplug and recenter.

What does this have to do with anything? Often when we talk about unplugging from work, we talk about unplugging over the weekend or during a long vacation. This implies that throughout the week we remain plugged into work. I know I’ve fallen into this cycle of feeling tethered to work all throughout the week and the pressure of always feeling on. Have you? I know that when I go through periods where I stay plugged into work around the clock I begin to burnout, which has a negative impact on all aspects of my life.

While it might not be as long as a weekend or as big of an adventure as vacation, I’ve found that my daily time hanging out on my patio has been incredibly valuable. Not only is it nice to unplug in the moment to enjoy time with family or appreciate the beauty around me, but it also has positive effects that last beyond that time on the patio. When I disconnect on a regular basis, even if it’s just for a few minutes, I feel more centered and capable of taking on what life throws my way. These little moments of unplugging are incredibly powerful, and I think we can all find moments like these in our daily life whether it’s chilling on a patio or engaging in another activity that makes you feel whole.

The challenge: How can you unplug and recenter on a more regular basis?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lies of P, Poison Levels, and Stress (3-20-24)

Last week was about blaming the controller vs taking accountability. This week is about Lies of P, poison levels, and stress.

My kids were watching me play, and they noticed that I started losing health. They were confused, and they asked me why I was losing health even when the monsters weren’t hitting me. I explained to them that the area I was in was full of poison (called Corruption in the game). At first, the poison doesn’t do anything. It just slowly builds up. However, once it hits a critical limit, the poison begins damaging my character, and my health quickly fades. In order to survive, I needed to equip poison resistant armor, use items that reduce poison, and find safe places where there wasn’t poison.

What does this have to do with anything? Instead of it being a level in a video game, let’s call it work or life. Instead of it being poison in a video game, let’s call it stress. Similar to my video game, the stress level builds over time. At first, I don’t even notice it. The levels rise over time, and then all of a sudden it hits HARD. Anyone else been there? When this happens, I’m no longer the person, husband, dad, friend, and employee I want to be or could be.

We are never going to live in a world without stress. However, we can try to be more cognizant of stress, our current stress levels, and what we can do. Similar to the poison armor, I know I handle stress better when I’m routinely taking care of myself. Similar to the item that takes poison away, I know that getting outside, moving my body, and talking with someone helps clear stress out of my system. Similar to needing to find a poison free space in the game, sometimes I know that I just need to step back and away from everything.

The challenge: How will you recognize and deal with rising stress levels?

Bonus vulnerability moment- The short version is that the last few months have been hard in many aspects of life. Using our analogy, my poison/stress meter had been overflowing for some time, and I wasn’t who I wanted to be. I decided to leverage our Lyra benefit and talk to a therapist for the first time. During our initial conversation I said, “I’m surviving right now, but I want more than that. I deserve more than that. My family does too. I need tools or something to help me.” It’s only been a couple of sessions so far, but I’m so thankful I reached out. I share all of this to say that if you’re talking to someone, you’re not alone AND I’m proud of you for asking for help. If you’re thinking of talking to someone, you’re not alone, AND I’m proud of you for recognizing that you might benefit from help. It’s okay to want/need help sometimes. It’s part of being human.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lies of P and Being Open to Suggestions (3-6-24)

Last week was about Lies of P and scoping out a situation. This week is about being open to suggestions from anyone and anywhere.

I was fighting the Rabbit Brotherhood, and had died multiple times. No matter what I did, I was just too slow, and my stamina was too low to get in more than 1 or 2 attacks at any given time. I was super frustrated. Alice watched me do the boss battle a few times and she said, “It looks like your character is over capacity. I think that’s making you slow.” I didn’t even entertain her comment. I told her she was wrong. I explained that I’ve played multiple games in this genre, and she just wasn’t right. I bet you see where this is going. Sure enough. I was over capacity, which made me slow. I fixed that problem and easily won that fight. If only I would have listened sooner.

What does this have to do with anything? In the above story, I instantly discounted what Alice said, because I assumed she didn’t know enough. She didn’t have MY experience and expertise, so there was no way that her thoughts were valid. Have you ever done this with someone at work? I know I have. Maybe it was the new team member, and you told yourself they didn’t know enough yet. Maybe it was a cross-functional partner, and you wrote them off because they had stepped out of their lane. Maybe it was someone you had disagreed with before, so you just assumed everything they said was wrong.

While it’s true that Alice did not have the expertise or experience that I had, this doesn’t mean that her ideas were instantly invalid. She was able to use her observational skills to see something I had missed. I’m not saying that I should have instantly accepted her thought. I am saying that I should have at least been open to it. If I would have been open to it, I would have seen she was right. In a similar way, when we hear something from someone at work who is less tenured or maybe doesn’t have our expertise, we don’t have to automatically agree with them, but we should be open minded enough to hear them out and give their thoughts a chance.

The challenge: How will you stay open to suggestions from anywhere and anyone?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry