Coaching- Putting Effort into Giving Critical and Positive Feedback (2-6-19)

Last week was about showing yourself the same level of coaching compassion as you show others. This week’s entry is about putting in equal effort to providing positive and critical feedback to individuals.

I have two girls, Violet (5) and Alice (almost 7). As a parent I feel the majority of my job is coaching them in some way, shape, or form. When my kid does something small that’s wrong I usually respond with a quick, “Hey, are you supposed to be doing that?” When it is something more serious, I call them over to me. I crouch down to their level and look them right in the eyes as I talk with them. Then the conversation usually goes something like, “Violet, are you supposed to hit your sister with your ninja turtle sword? Why did you hit her? Why shouldn’t we hit each other? What will happen if you continue to behave in this way?” The reason why I call them over and then crouch down is because I want them to know I take them and their behavior very seriously, and you can see from the look on their faces that when I stop and do this the message usually sinks in..

I more or less do the same thing if they are exhibiting positive behavior. The small good things they do get a quick, “Good job!” and a high five. However, there are times when their positive behavior deserves more than a quick “good job!” and high five. When this occurs, I call them over, get down on their level, and talk to them. These conversations usually go like this, “Violet, I saw that you were getting frustrated, but you managed to calm down and then solve your problem. Good job being able to calm down. I know that’s incredibly hard, but look at how you were able to do it after you took time to breathe and calm down. You did so great, and I’m so proud of you. Keep it up.” Just like in the other example, slowing down, getting on their level, and having a deeper conversation helps the message sink in.

You might be wondering what this has to do with work and giving feedback. Do you give the same intention and effort into giving positive feedback that you put into giving critical feedback? In my experiences, most people don’t. In my experience, people are often apt to give critical feedback on a more regular basis and tend to have a little more thought behind it. However, when it comes to giving positive feedback it is often sparse and consists of a generic, “Good job!” Some positive feedback is better than never receiving positive feedback. However, putting a little extra time and effort into sitting down with someone and giving them more specific reasons on why something was good is more motivating and impactful than generic comments.

The challenge: Can you give the same intention and effort into giving critical and positive feedback?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from Being a Dad Part 6 Violet and the Fight vs. Flight Response (7-18-18)

This will be the last in the series about lessons I’ve learned from being a dad. We started this series with Violet and persistence. From there we explored Alice and imagination, and then we moved to being jealous when your friend rides a bike before you. A couple weeks ago we discussed creating an environment for people to flourish, and last week was about band-aids, bumps, and mistakes. This week we will think about Violet and the fight vs. flight response.

I get home from work and I ask everyone how their day was. My wife tells me that Violet almost broke her nose. Here’s how. My wife thought it would be really funny to sneak up on Violet and try to scare her, so she did. The only problem with this is that while most people have the fight OR flight responses when they get scared, Violet only has fight. When Violet fights, she doesn’t throw jabs. Every punch she throws is a knockout punch. So when my wife scares her, Violet responds by throwing a haymaker that smashes into my wife’s face, almost breaking her nose. In reality, Violet wasn’t really being threatened, but her brain couldn’t recognize this in time to stop her from throwing a haymaker. If she would have taken a second to assess the situation, she wouldn’t have thrown punches like Rocky Balboa.

You might wonder what this has to do with anything. Much like Violet, we all have a default state that we fall into when we are threatened. We tend to either be more fight or more flight in any situation. When we are in these states we are irrational human beings incapable of logical thought or growth. The problem is that the feeling of being threatened is a delicate trigger. Feeling threatened isn’t just about being physically threatened. Often, feeling threatened can come from being challenged in some way, especially when it comes to somebody challenging your worldview. This is why it’s so hard for people to have conversations about politics, race, and religion. These are all deeply held beliefs, and many people equate these beliefs to who they are. The moment someone challenges you in one of those areas, it is kind of like they are trying to attack YOU, which triggers fight (defend your belief as hard as you can, argue without really seeking to understand, etc.) or flight (avoid the conversation). Neither of these options is particularly helpful, because in these instances we as humans are irrational and incapable of growing.

Besides things like politics, race, and religion, the fight or flight response kicks in during conversations at work. I don’t know about you, but sometimes people disagree with me or share viewpoints that I disagree with and my fight response kicks in. What could have been a productive conversation, then essentially becomes a battle to see who can be right, which isn’t helpful to anyone. Have you ever been there? Have you ever been the one who thought their ideas were attacked? Have you ever been the one attacking the other ideas? So much of what occurs during these conversations is a result of fight or flight kicking in.

Over time, what I’ve found is that I need to switch my default state. Rather than fight or flight, I have to find a way to default to being curious. I’ve found being curious eliminates the emotional baggage that fight or flight brings with it. Curiosity forces me to better understand the situation and the person. Curiosity allows me to stop and assess the situation. “What is going on in my body? Why am I feeling so strongly about this? What is this person truly saying? Why do they believe it? What do they value that would make them come to these conclusions? How could they prove what they are saying? Why might what they are saying be true? Why might it not be true?” Taking the time to breathe and process, helps me avoid my own fight or flight response, so I can have an actual conversation to address the “threat” that may or may not be real.

The challenges: Do you know when you go into fight or flight? How can you move to a different default state?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from Being a Dad Part 4 Art Supplies and Intentionally Creating an Environment (7-2-18)

This blog is coming early due to the 4^th of July holiday. Last week was about bicycles, training wheels, and jealousy. This week is about intentionally building a culture/environment. Let’s start by sharing some seemingly unrelated things.

During vacation we were eating at a Dave and Busters. Alice was building a sculpture using condiments, salt, pepper, and silverware. As she built the sculpture she put the salt upside down, spilling salt everywhere. I responded by saying, “We need to clean up the salt. Remember the salt comes out from the top, so you can’t put it upside down when you build.” Alice helped clean up the salt, and continued building.
We have a wall in our house where guests put their handprints, a wall covered in artwork, and art supplies always accessible.
At dinner we play the question game. It’s a metaphor game. “If your day was a ________. What would it be and why?” With my girls that blank is filled in with everything from colors, types of cats, body parts, Rescue Bot (Transformer character), sounds, food, or any other weird thing they can think of.

While these things may appear to be random, they are very much connected. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned as a parent is that my wife and I are in charge of creating the environment that will help our children flourish. It is our choices and actions that create this environment. Everything above is an example that shows how my wife and I value creative thinking and expression, so we make conscious efforts to create an environment where that can happen. That means, when Alice makes a mess in a restaurant when she’s building something, I don’t freak out about it. Instead, we clean up and get back to building. It means that we have art on the walls as a way to show we value it. It means that they always have access to art supplies and legos, so they can easily create. It means that we play the question game, which serves to encourage creative connection making. Doing all of these things creates an environment where creativity can flourish.

You might be wondering what this has to do with work. Think about all the time we spend talking about culture. Now ask yourself. How often do we take the necessary actions to create an environment where that culture will flourish? For example, if we want to be fast, what are we doing to create an environment where we can move fast? In my experience, we often say we want to move fast, but then get upset when things are fast but not perfect. That immediately kills speed. Another example, we talk about wanting to have open and honest debate. How often is the environment conducive to this? I’ve found that many times it isn’t. Many times we don’t have the foundation of trust and respect to have meaningful disagreement. Maybe it’s because the highest ranking person quickly shuts down ideas that are not their own. Maybe it’s because people don’t do a good job listening to other points of view. The result is, the culture of dissent is never created.

It’s up to all of us to create the environment in which we want to work. It’s up to us to surround ourselves with art supplies (the right resources). It’s up to us to hang artwork on the wall (officially recognize what we say we value). It’s up to us to help clean up the salt from a restaurant sculpture and get back to building (instead of destroying the thing we are trying to create by responding with lots of undue negativity to a mistake or messiness). It’s up to us to set the tone that creates the environment that allows a culture and people to flourish.

The challenge: How are you creating the environment you want to work in? Have a great 4^th of July!

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from Being a Dad Part 1 Violet, Persistence, and the Quest for Tasty Treats (6-6-18)

This week we will kick of a new series on lessons I’ve learned from being a dad. This week we will focus on persistence by looking at Violet’s quest for tasty treats.

Violet (4) is my tenacious negotiator. She doesn’t understand what the phrase “give up” means. I’ll share this story as an example. It was 7am on a Saturday and Violet asked if she could have a cookie. I told her no. That wouldn’t stop her. She climbs onto me, snuggles up as close as she can and says, “Daddy, I love you. Can I have a cookie please?” Now, grandparents would fall for this, especially my dad, because my girls have him wrapped around their fingers. However, I’ve learned to harden my heart. I tell her that we aren’t having cookies this early in the morning and she hasn’t even had breakfast. Violet then starts the negotiations, “I understand I need to eat breakfast to get strong muscles. After breakfast can I have a cookie?” I tell her no. This goes back and forth for a few minutes and then she decides to try a new tactic. She then asks, “How about some chocolate chips?” The answer is still no.

I think she’s finally given up, because she starts playing with Alice (6). They are throwing a surprise birthday party for BB-8 (Star Wars droid). All of a sudden, Violet runs up to me and says, “Daddy, there’s a problem. We’re planning a surprise birthday party for BB-8. He’s at the door now. We need a distraction, or he will come in and ruin the surprise.”

I respond with, “Really?” She shoots back, “I have a plan. Give me a cookie to give to him, so he doesn’t ruin the party.” I give her a an imaginary cookie. Without missing a beat Violet says, “Everyone knows that’s a fake cookie. That won’t work. I need a real one for the plan.” I look at her and say, “Violet, I know this game. If I give you the cookie you’re just going to eat it.” Violet says, “Yeah…” I then look at her and say, “You’re lucky I reward creativity and honesty,” and I give her part of a cookie. Violet struts away victorious. I’ll admit, she wore me down and I figure if someone is willing to work that hard to get a cookie they deserve something.

How does this connect to work? I don’t know about you, but I feel like there are barriers everywhere. There is always a road block, a kink in a process, a person saying, “No.” We hear some version of “No” so often that it becomes easy to become beaten down by this. It becomes easy to stop pressing forward. In Violet’s case, she has set her mind on getting a cookie. Once Violet sets her mind on something, she is relentless. She doesn’t accept no. Instead, she negotiates. When the initial negotiation fails, so she reassesses her tactics and tries again. She does this over and over and over again until she finally reaches her goals. I think we could learn a lot from her persistence, especially since our work is so much more noble than eating cookies.

The challenge: What do you do when you run into a barrier? Do you stop with the initial, “No,” or do you negotiate, renegotiate, search for different perspectives, look into different trade-offs, and find a way to reach your goal? (If you ever get too desperate you could throw a surprise birthday party for your imaginary friend as a diversion tactic. I hear that’s effective…)

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from being a Dad Part 5 Blankets, True Function, and Value (4-19-17)

Last week was about keeping your eyes open for joy. This week is about learning how to find different kinds of value in people and things. We will explore this by thinking about blankets as they relate to keeping people warm, building forts, and defining value. Overall, this is an entry about me being self-conscious about being valuable, so if you are ever there know you aren’t alone.

When I think of blankets I first think of their function. Therefore, the value of a blanket is its ability to keep you warm. However, kids don’t think about it this way. To my daughters, a blanket can become a way to create a picnic space. A blanket is a play mat for babies. A blanket is also an important construction material for making forts. A blanket can become a super hero cape, dance floor, boat to protect you from the lava, a matador cape, a hammock, etc. When my daughters look at a blanket they value it for more than just its ability to keep you warm.

You might be wondering how this connects with work. I’d like to share a story and then a connection. Let’s rewind to when I just started in my role about 2.5 months ago. People who know me, know that being goofy, offbeat, and constantly making quips and jokes is just what I do. One day I made some joke and one of my teammates gave me a compliment, “I’m glad you’re on the team. You’re bringing the fun factor.” Sounds pretty good right? It’s a really nice thing for someone to say, right? The problem is I’m extremely self-conscious about providing what I have decided is “real value” to the team, so I respond by saying, “Thanks. One day I hope to bring some actual value to the team.” (Jerk ungrateful move on my part). Anyway, he responded, “Yeah, but the fun factor is value. It’s worth something.” That response made me stop and think. I was so fixated on fulfilling what I thought my true function was that I discounted anything else I might have to offer. I basically was saying, “I’m not providing the team any market research insights at this time, so I’m not worth much.”

Now think back to my daughters and blankets. They value the blanket for many reasons beyond just its “true” function. In my story, essentially the guy told me, “You make an awesome fort” and my response was to say, “Blankets aren’t for forts.” The fact is there is value in building forts, because building forts is awesome! There is value in using blankets as boats, capes, play mats, etc. There is value in all of these things as well as the supposed “true” function a thing or a person is supposed to perform. Bottom line: You are a blanket. Yes, you keep people warm, but you do so many other things too. I hope you understand how important all those other things you do are. I hope you know you are valued and loved.

The challenge: Do you see ALL of the value you provide?

Bonus: Give recognition to someone today for the different value they bring to your team and your life.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from being a Dad Part 4 Keep your Eyes Open for Joy (4-12-17)

Last week was about the darker side of parenting, uber-competitive parents, and staying focused on what matters. This week I want to bring us back to the light side with a focus on keeping our eyes open for joy and wonder.

There is something special about the way young kids view the world. I feel that little kids always have their eyes open looking for magic, joy, and something special. If you want an example of what I’m talking about, just check out the picture. A few Saturdays ago we all went to Menards to check out patio furniture and other things. We were walking down the aisle when Violet saw the safety cones and got excited like she had found a long lost treasure. Before we knew what had happened, she had a new hat and Alice had followed suit. They were then posing and marching in their awesome new attire. When Violet looks at the world, she always sees something worth paying attention to whether it’s the different colors on gas stations to how clouds look like animals.

I don’t know about you, but when I see safety cones, I don’t automatically think hats. It’s sad to say, but I feel as we grow up we slowly lose our ability to always search for joy and wonder. Luckily for me, these two young ladies are helping me see the world as a much more interesting and beautiful place.

You are probably wondering how this connects with work. Every day we work. We see emails, spreadsheets, slides, meetings, people, etc. It’s really easy to just see these things the way they appear to be. It’s really easy to become numb and blind to them. It’s easy to take them for granted. It’s a lot harder to go into these each and every day with eyes that are looking for joy, beauty, magic, and anything else that might be good in this world.

The challenge: As we go through our days do we see the potential for joy in them the way Violet sees the joy in a safety cone? What are some things you’ve seen lately that bring you joy? (Write a list. It always helps me see how beautiful the world can be.)

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from being a Dad Part 3 The Darker Side of being a Dad (4-5-17)

Last week was about competing vs. collaborating as it applies to my daughters. This week I want to look at the darker side of being a dad. Of course I’m talking about when parents unnecessarily compete against each other through their kids. As we reflect this week, I want us to ask ourselves, “What really matters?”

I never knew how crazy competitive people could be until I had kids. The very moment we had our first child, people started coming out of the woodwork. The conversation basically starts with “Perfect Parent” saying, “I and/or my kid is doing A, B, and C, and if you aren’t doing those things you are a horrible parent or something is wrong with your kid.” This applies to everything; even things I didn’t realize you could compete on. For example, Perfect Parent would say that if you don’t breast feed you are a horrible mom. Perfect Parent would want you to know that if your children aren’t eating all vegan all the time, then they are less than human. Perfect Parent likes to remind dads that if their kids aren’t in the perfect outfit they are horrible fathers. Perfect Parent wants you to know that their kid is involved in 50 activities and is too busy for non-value add activities like playing. Perfect Parent likes to remind you that their kid is reading novels at age 5, and if your kid isn’t they are doomed to a horrible life. Perfect Parent continues to do this with their child of all ages.

If you don’t have kids, you’re probably thinking the above paragraph was really stupid. If you do have kids, you’re probably thinking, “Yep, that’s my experience.” I’ve found that it’s easy to get swept up in all of this and start feeling like a horrible person who is ruining your child’s life because you aren’t doing “the right thing” or are not pushing them to do a million things. Here’s the truth though. 99% of all that stuff, doesn’t matter. If we are honest with ourselves, most of the time it’s parents focusing on stuff that in the grand scheme of things doesn’t matter in order to make themselves feel good. In order to make sure I don’t get lost in this stuff as a dad, I need to start by deciding what’s really important. For me there are 3 things I care about with regards to my kids: their health, them being good strong people (loving, generous, kind, thoughtful, independent, etc.), and them having grit/tenacity. Those are the things I care about and the things I work on with my kids. If your kid is a better reader or is smarter, that’s fine. I’m happy for you and them. At the same time, I’m not competing. I’m not sitting around comparing my kids to yours. I don’t need to get bent out of shape about those things. My thought is that if my girls grow up and all they are is healthy, good strong people, and tenacious they will be pretty good people and I will have done my job as a parent.

Making connections. Even if you don’t have kids, you’ve probably seen this play out in different places. It’s easy at work for “Perfect Employee” to say, “You should be doing X, Y, and Z exactly like me or you’re not good.” It’s easy to look around at others and say, “I need to be just like them and doing their things.” On top of this, there are people throughout this company that are smarter than me, more talented than me, at a higher level than me, etc. I don’t need to drive myself crazy competing with them. Instead, I can be happy for them and focus on me and what I need to do. Similar to being a dad, I’d argue the first thing we need to do is decide what is important, because a lot of that is stuff that just doesn’t matter. What’s important to you depends on what you value and what your goals are.

The challenge: Are you getting lost in a competitive environment or are you focusing on the things that are really important?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from being a Dad Part 2 You are on the same team (3-29-17)

Last week was about reinforcing the “youness” of someone else. This week is about competing vs. collaborating. Competing plays out in a few ways at my house. One way, Alice gets in trouble and then Violet comes over to remind me that she “Makes good choices and Alice makes bad choices.” Another way is Violet sings a song and then Alice gets jealous and starts trying to sing over Violet. The final way is that one of the girls goes out of their way to make sure they are noticed more than their sister.

When I see these competitive behaviors, I know that it’s not always malicious (but sometimes it is). When we see this behavior, my wife and I always tell our girls the same thing. “You two are not competing. You are sisters. You are on the same team. It’s your job to look out for and help each other out.” Sometimes when we have this conversation it’s like talking to two brick walls. Sure they might not be fighting, but they are still working alone instead of together. In this case, not much changes. Sometimes though, on lucky days, when you can find rainbows, leprechauns, and unicorns we see small breakthroughs. These are the days when Alice gets something for her sister that Violet can’t reach. These are the days when Violet comes to tell us that Alice did something nice for her. These are the days when Alice comes and tells us how great Violet is doing with her speech. These are the days that melt my heart, the days when they are working together, holding each other up, and making sure their sister receives some love and recognition.

You are probably seeing some of the work connections already. It’s easy to laugh at the stories of my girls competing. It’s easy to laugh at Alice trying to sing louder than Violet or Violet telling us that she makes good choices, while Alice makes bad choices. It’s easy to write this off as two young kids who are immature, but we’ve all seen stuff like this in our normal day to day life, right? We’ve seen the person who tries to consistently outshine others. We’ve seen the person who tries to remind you how much better they are than everyone else. We’ve seen people who create an environment of competition vs. collaboration through their words and actions. We’ve seen these things, and I’d argue we all commit these acts sometimes. I know I have, and just like my girls sometimes we do these things on purpose and sometimes we do them unintentionally.

On the other side of things like I mentioned my heart melts when I see my girls working together. It’s one of the best parts of being a parent. The thing is this happens at work too. We’ve probably all seen true collaboration. We’ve seen someone take time out of their day to truly partner with someone. We’ve had people come up to us and say, “You probably didn’t see this, but Susie did X and that made a huge difference for the team.” We’ve witnessed these things and done these things. Just like for my kids, my heart smiles when I see this. (I know. I’m kind of sappy). My heart also feels better when I live this on a daily basis. I’d imagine you feel better in a true collaborative environment as well. We have enough external obstacles that make helping patients difficult, so we don’t need to compete against each other.

The challenge: “We are brothers and sisters. We are on the same team.” How often are you competing vs. collaborating? What are you doing to help others see when they are competing instead of collaborating?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from being a Dad Part 1 Reinforcing your “Youness” (3-22-17)

This week I’d like to kick off a new series focused on lessons I’ve learned since becoming a dad. In case you don’t know I have two girls, Alice (almost 5) and Violet (3). They’ve taught me so much more than I’ll ever teach them. This week is about reinforcing the “youness” of others. “Youness” is a phrase I’m stealing from Lilly colleague Tony Brazelton and means “the stuff that makes you you.”

If you talk to Alice for any period of time she will boldly claim that she’s going to be scientist/inventor when she grows up. This is part of her youness, part of what makes her light up, makes her tick, drives her, etc. She considers this to be part of who she is. For Christmas her favorite gift was a scientist lab coat. See epic proud face. The best day in her life so far was the day when she realized that mixing baking soda and vinegar created a volcano like explosion. When we want to get her to try new foods we tell her that she’s conducting research and that we will record her findings and she tries stuff right away (#parentingwin). This is heartwarming, but here’s the thing, I know that as she gets older she will receive pressure in various ways that will discourage her from wanting to get into science because of the fact that she is a girl.

As a dad I want to help her with this pressure. My thought is that I can do this in two ways. First, I need to reinforce her youness with her. I make sure I reinforce and praise who she is by saying stuff like, “Alice, you are a scientist. You are smart. You are curious. Do you know what scientists do? They test their ideas, they fail, and they try over and over again. That’s you. You are a scientist, and that is one of the things that makes you awesome.” Besides reinforcing her youness with her, I can reinforce her youness with others. One small example comes from family members who want to buy her gifts for her birthday or Christmas. Many of them assume that she’s really into dolls, because she’s a young girl. I take the time to explain to them that dolls aren’t really her. Then I try to reinforce what Alice is about by explaining that Alice is all about science, exploring, building, and figuring stuff out. I tell them to think science kits, magnets, legos, etc. This act helps them see Alice for who she is and what she has to offer.

What does this have to do with work? We all have our own youness. At the same time, the world may not always appreciate our youness. Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt that what makes you you just isn’t appreciated? On the flip side, how did you feel when people saw and reinforced your youness with you and others? Reinforcing somebody’s youness doesn’t take a lot. Often it just takes a few words at the right time.

Here’s a story from a previous role of a leader who reinforced a new teammate’s youness in a group setting. I was in a meeting and it was the first time the team was coming together. We had a new teammate, Susie (fake name real story) who had come to us from a brand that had fallen through. If you know Susie, you know that Susie cares incredibly deeply for people. It is part of what makes her her. As Susie talked about her previous experience on that brand she talked about how big of a difference she thought they were going to be able to make in the lives of patients. You could see that she truly cared for these people and that she was crushed things had not gone better. As she tells the story, she starts crying a little bit. Her crying created that moment (some would call it awkward) where everyone is silent. Susie starts apologizing for being emotional and the leader says something like, “No need to apologize. I see you. I see your passion. I see how much you care for people. I need that. We need that. I hope you bring that with you to our team.” The leader could have ignored it. The leader could have just said, “It’s okay” and brushed off the emotion with some other statement. Instead, the leader reinforced Susie’s “youness” with the team and Susie in a few simple statements that went a long way. You could tell the leader’s few words had a powerful impact on Susie and also on the rest of the team. A simple and profound leadership lesson I’ll remember. I left that meeting saying, “I want to be like that leader when I grow up.”

Challenge: Are you reinforcing the “youness” of others? Bonus->Take the time to reinforce the youness of someone today.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Fixed vs. Growth Mindset and Parenting (1-18-17)

Last week was about mindsets and confidence. This week we will explore having a fixed vs. a growth mindset. The inspiration comes the work Carol Dweck has done in this space. Click HERE for Carol’s TED talk on the subject.

Carol’s premise is that you can either have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. If you have a fixed mindset you believe that things like talent and intelligence are pre-determined, and you will tend to avoid challenges, because failure is something you can’t do anything about since your skills are fixed. If you have a growth mindset you realize that you have a baseline of talent and intelligence, but you know these can be enhanced. If you have this mindset you view failure as an opportunity to learn and improve.

Connection to parenting-> My wife and I are trying to raise kids with a growth mindset. You’d assume that all we would need to do is praise our girls and tell them they can do anything. This is only a small part. The big part is celebrating the grind with them and what the grind has enabled them to do. For example, my youngest, Violet, will turn 3 over the weekend. She is behind with her speech. As Violet makes progress we praise her for that, and we also say, “I’m so proud of how hard you’ve been working on your words. Good job working on your flashcards. You’re hard work is helping you do better.” We don’t always do it, but we are trying to be intentional about celebrating the grind and how that leads to the result. We believe that if we continually do this we will foster a growth mindset, a mindset in which our girls will grow up and say, “I can’t do that yet, BUT I will figure out how!” Take that growth mindset and add in some grit and some sass, and you’ll have two strong Embry ladies ready to take on the world.

Work connection. I see two different ways this can connect with work. The first connection is to your personal mindset. Do you have a fixed or a growth mindset? Be honest. Here is where I’m supposed to tell you that I’m some wise sage who always believes in myself and always has this sunny outlook that I can grind it out and improve. I’d be lying if I said that. I have times where I’m like, “Forget it. I can’t do that garbage!” (That’s my maturity right there). The second connection is what are you doing to create a growth mindset for others around you? What are you saying and/or doing to get others to see their potential for growth? Are you praising them for going through the process like you praise them for the result? Are you helping them see how they messiness and pain they are going through now is making them better? If you can connect those dots for people they will be more likely to embrace a growth mindset. They will be more likely to say, “I can’t do that yet, BUT I will figure out how.”

The challenge: What are you doing to create a growth mindset for yourself and the others around you?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry