Tag: set the tone

Being New: Investing in and Setting the Tone in Work Relationships (9-27-23)

Last week was about being new and balancing quick wins with long-term investments.  This week we will look deeper at investing in and setting the tone in relationships with colleagues.

Whenever I join a new team, one of the first things I focus on is building relationships with my teammates.  Work gets done through people.  The stronger your relationships are, the more effective you’ll be working together.  There are two different aspects I focus on when initially getting to know others.  The first aspect is getting to know them as people.  What’s their story?  Who are they outside of work?  What do they like to do?  What passions and hobbies do they have?  Getting to know someone on a personal level is important, because I want the people I work with to know they aren’t just cogs in a machine.  They are WHOLE people that I care for.  The second aspect of the relationship is better understanding them as workers and teammates.  What are their goals in their role?  How do the prefer to communicate?  What work related pet peeves do they have that I should try to avoid?  What work related quirks do they have?  Knowing these kinds of things helps set a great foundation for partnership.

On top of getting to know the other person, spending time talking about yourself as a worker and teammate gives you a chance to help set the tone for your relationship moving forward.  For example, here is what I usually share with people when I start working with them.  “I work to live.  I don’t live to work.  I want to do important work that has a positive impact on the world, and I want to do that with cool people.  I’m a curious dude, and I ask a lot of questions because I like to explore things.  I’m also a different cat, you’ll see pretty quickly I take my work seriously, but I don’t take myself too seriously.  I believe in having fun, sending memes, and making jokes.  I believe in working ugly.  Let’s mock up some rough ideas, figure out that some of them stink, grab the good ones, and turn them into something.  Don’t waste your time making things perfect for me.  I like being in the mud 😉 I’m big on boundaries.  I don’t work at night. That’s my time with my family.  If you want to work at night, you do you, but I won’t respond.  I will get up early when my house is quiet and crank stuff out though, so if you ever see emails from me early it’s not an emergency.  Speaking of emergencies, unless someone is dying it’s not an emergency.  We create too many fire drills, when we just need to breathe for a second.  Fire drills annoy the heck out of me.  As we work together, I hope that you’ll come to learn that I care deeply about you and the other folks I work with.  Part of me showing I care is being honest.  You’ll always know where I stand.  If I like your idea, I’ll tell you.  If I don’t like your idea, I’ll tell you that too and explain why.  If I think you’re doing well, I’ll tell you.  If I ever have feedback I’ll share it, because not giving feedback is cruel and unfair to the person.”  This sets the stage and gives the other person insight into how I’m going to operate 95% of the time.  Then it’s up to me to do the most important part and LIVE these things.

What does this have to do with anything?  We often talk about the need to build relationships at work, but we don’t discuss how to go about doing that.  There are multiple components of that relationship.  While we often will get to know each other personally, we may not always be intentional when it comes to figuring out what makes that person tick at work and how you can best partner with them.  Additionally, we don’t always do the best job of conveying what is important to us and how we operate at work.  Think of how much easier work would be, if we all had more clarity on what we were all about and how to best work with each other. 

The challenge: Are you being intentional about getting to know teammates as people AND as workers?  ( If you haven’t taken the time to have these conversations, it’s never too late.)

Bonus 1: Now that I’m in an official leadership position, I’ve added a couple of other things to my normal spiel.  Wanted to share those with you in case they spark something.

  • “I’m concerned about running people into the ground.  I’ve ran myself into the ground before and it’s not good.  As a result, prioritization is important to me.  Prioritization is not about numbering a long to-do list.  Prioritization is about choosing 3 or so things you need to nail and saying NO to the other things.  Sooner or later, we will need to have a prioritization discussion and you’re going to be like, ‘He’s kind of crazy about this.’  You’ll be right when you think that. 😉  I’m intense about this.  I am, because I don’t want to let you burn out.”
  • “I’m new to being in an official leadership role, and I’m nervous about the power dynamics that can come into play.  I’m not okay with a lot of the hierarchical bullcrap.  I share this to say that if I ever offer suggestions or say something DO NOT TAKE IT AS GOSPEL.  Some of my thoughts will be good.  Some of them will be dumb.  Everything is always up for discussion, so if an idea seems off just tell me.  Chances are I’ll agree that it was dumb.  It will be RARE, but if I ever need you to do something in a specific way, I will be VERY CLEAR about that being a non-negotiable requirement.”

Bonus 2: Sharing my quarterly self-assessment in case in sparks any thoughts.  I feel I made some great progress and hoping to continue the momentum.

9-27-23 Embry Quarterly Review

  • Protecting my Peace (Q3=A- Q2=B-)- This is my overall goal for the year.  This is about ensuring I’m making the time to take care of me and putting the right boundaries in place. I made some HUGE steps forward in protecting my peace.  I’m fully transitioned into my new role.  I’m enjoying the change of pace, being in a place that is more about long-term thinking vs. day to day execution.  I’ve been disciplined about investing the time to build the foundation, instead of jumping in and chasing everything.
  • Career (Q3=B+ Q2=A+)- The goal is to feel like I’m delivering magic.  Q2 is when I started my new role I had been working toward, so the emotional high made that an A+.  Now I actually have to do something 😉  Feeling good about how I’m settling into my new role.  I’m beginning to bring more clarity and structure to workstreams.  I wish I would have made progress on building some of that infrastructure faster, but part of that is just being new and figuring stuff out.  Now, I will have to focus on transitioning from the planning to executing.  I still need to figure out what delivering magic looks like at this level, but overall I’m feeling good about what I’m doing so far.
  • Physical Health (Q3=A- Q2=B)- The goal is to make sure I’m taking good care of myself, so I can do the things I want to be able to do.  I’m attributed a big bulk of the increase in the grade to completing my goal of finishing a marathon long obstacle course race.  Beyond that, I’m sleeping better, generally feel less stress, and am getting back into a workout routine after taking a couple of weeks off to recover.  I still need to work on flexibility and mobility.  I also want to start training to get faster, so I can better compete in my races.  Last but not least, I’m learning to do a better job of listening to my body.  I can hear my body telling me things I couldn’t hear before.  Not sure if that makes sense to anyone else.  Now that I can hear, I just have to take action on them.
  • Financial (Q3=B Q2=B)- The goal is to hit our financial savings goals.  We’ve hit our saving goals for the year, so now just need to keep an eye on the day to day budget.  I’m still spending more than I want to on fast food and frivolous things. I need to be more aware of these spending habits.
  • Family (Q3=A- Q2=B+)- The goal is to feel like an amazing husband and dad.  Having better sleep, less stress, and feeling better physically have made a big difference here.  I’ve found I have more patience, and I’m so proud of the progress my kids and wife are making on things.
  • Fun/Social (Q3=B+ Q2=B+)- The goal here is to plan out vacation days and enjoy them.  It was a solid quarter of some small trips and fun.  We’ve already started thinking about our next big thing for next year.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Disney, Eating, Leadership, and Setting the Tone (2-22-23)

Text Description automatically generated with low confidenceHappy Wednesday,

This week we are going to kick off a series about lessons I learned from the Disney Institute last year when I attended as a Team Lilly Ambassador.  We will start with a story about eating, leadership, and setting the tone.  The inspiration behind this week’s entry comes from Kip Chase’s wife.

It was the first night and we were at the restaurant.  The food was set up, but no one was eating.  Kip Chase noticed that people were just kind of awkwardly waiting.  He nudged me and loudly says, “I’m going to grab some food, everybody let’s go eat.”  I declare that I’m Kip’s first follower, and we grab food together😉.  The moment Kip grabs the first morsel, other folks start lining up and grabbing food too.  As we do this, Kip shares a story with me that goes something like this, “Sometimes you have to be the first to let others know it’s okay to start.  It’s like taking friends out to dinner.  You order the steak, so they know it’s okay to order steak too.”  I was like, “Man, that’s good!”  Then, Kip revealed that he learned that from his wife.  I’m not saying that makes his wife better than him, but I’m not not saying it either.  #loveyoubuddy

What does this have to do with anything?  This is a story about someone taking the lead and setting the tone through their actions.  Kip was the default leader in this scenario, and people followed his lead.  One of the most important things a leader does is set the tone with their teams.  Their actions and inaction drive what is and isn’t acceptable in a culture.  I’ve been on teams where EVERYONE was always striving to improve and do better, because the leader set appropriate standards and drove accountability.  I’ve been on teams where people were okay with lower levels of performance, because the leader didn’t expect quality work and didn’t hold people accountable.  I’ve been on teams where I could be open and vulnerable, because the leader demonstrated those qualities on a regular basis.  I’ve also been on teams where I didn’t feel comfortable being that way because the leader either never showed vulnerability or shut down open and honest conversations.  Do any of these sound familiar to you?  In these situations, people looked to their leader to see what tone they were setting and then responded accordingly.  Think about your favorite and not so favorite leaders.  What tones were they setting with their actions or inaction?

The challenge:  Think about yourself.  What tone are you setting with your actions or inaction?

Bonus-Kip probably never thought that a random story told over a buffet would stick with me.  That’s one of the other parts of leadership.  You never quite know how influential your words will be, and how people will latch onto different things.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry