Discomfort, Psychological Safety, and the Yeti Challenge (1-31-24)

Last week was about embracing discomfort, so you can be successful. This week is about discomfort, psychological safety, and the Yeti challenge.

This past weekend I completed the Abominable Snow Race. I did the Yeti challenge, which consisted of 12 miles through ice/snow/mud/slush and around 50 obstacles. I was in a constant state of discomfort through most of the race. I was cold, wet, sore, covered in bruises, had a weird spot on my hand we call a yeti bite because we have no idea what happened (credit to Kristina Kittle for the name), and I was nervous/anxious/scared a fair amount. It would have been easy for me to say, “I’m uncomfortable, so that means this isn’t safe.” However, even though I was in a constant state of discomfort, the course and environment were safe. Plus, I felt like a complete bad a$$ when I crossed that finish line. #yetination

How does this connect with work and psychological safety? There are a lot of different definitions for psychological safety. At their core, I believe that most definitions center on the idea of creating an environment where people can be themselves and freely share their ideas without fear of negative repercussions. What you’ll notice if you read different definitions is that none of them promise a workplace without any discomfort or tension. This connects back to my racing story. I was uncomfortable for most of the race, AND I was still safe. In a similar way, it’s easy to be in a tough conversation or situation at work and think to yourself, “This isn’t comfortable, so this environment must not be safe.” This isn’t necessarily true. Tension, challenging questions, or a difficult conversation at work, doesn’t mean that the environment lacks psychological safety. Sometimes what we are feeling is just discomfort, and we need to find a way to process that and move forward. In my experience the more psychological safety I have with a person or group the more real conversations we can have that include tension and discomfort, and like how I felt when I finished the race I usually feel so much better after these convos. Is this true for you?

The challenge- How will you think about discomfort vs psychological safety?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Creating Space to Be Real (7-19-23)

Last week was about listening to fear AND the Brave voice. This week is about creating spaces where people can be real.

We go to my parents’ house every year for the 4^th of July. We grill out, my mom makes enough food to feed a small army, and then we hang out enjoying yard games, playing Uno, telling stories, and watching fireworks. I can’t remember what got us started, but my mom shared a story about a stupid mistake she had made recently. As she shared it, she laughed at herself and her mistake. We all started laughing along with her. From there, everyone else starts jumping in and sharing mistake stories too. We begin calling ourselves out and each other. We give each other a hard time out of love for the dumb things we’ve done. It’s a great vibe. The energy opens the floodgates for my kids to be their silly selves, and once they got going everyone was rolling on the floor laughing. Later that night as were driving home, Alice (11) said, “I like that at grandma and grandpa’s house that we can all laugh at ourselves. I like that we can be a little crazy. It feels good.” As her dad, I was so glad to hear this, because all I want for my kids is for them to be able to be who they are.

What does this have to do with anything? Alice may not be aware of the concepts of vulnerability, authenticity, or psychological safety, BUT she knows how those things feel. She knows that her grandparents love her unconditionally, and that she can be herself there. She knows she can make mistakes and talk about them, and people won’t judge her or think less of her. She also knows that not all places are like this. She knows that not all places feel like that. There is something special at grandma and grandpa’s house, and it starts with them being comfortable laughing at themselves and talking about their mistakes. It starts with them taking actions to set the stage to create a welcoming environment.

Think about work for a minute. Have you ever been on a team where you could really lean in and be yourself? Have you been on teams where you couldn’t? How different did the two teams feel? What did people do to make you feel like you could be yourself? The challenge: What are you doing to create spaces where people can be vulnerable and be themselves? (Here is my elbow nudge- If you can’t instantly think of the things you’re doing to create these spaces, that’s likely a sign that this is an area where you can improve)

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Hoodies and Psychological Safety Part 2 (10-30-20)

A couple of individuals sent me comments about my recent blog about hoodies and psychological safety. They caused me to do some deep reflection, so I wanted to share that with you. We will continue to think about hoodies and psychological safety, and how just because psychological safety exists for one person, it does not mean it exists for ALL people.

Here is a response from someone who read the blog from Wednesday. “When I first read the title and the beginning, I thought you were going to talk about the unfortunate fact that many black men can’t and don’t feel safe wearing a hoodie because they are judged/viewed a certain way if they do (e.g. Trayvon Martin, etc.) which compromises psychological safety.”Here is another response, “After the death of Trayvon Martin, the hoodie double standard emerged. So much emotion, rhetoric, and rules about wearing an object of clothing. While I still love my hoodie, I no longer wear it out of the house without thinking about my privilege. No one looks twice at a middle aged white person in an oversized hoodie walking their dogs at night.”Both comments are insightful and worth exploring. As a straight middle-aged bald white guy, I can wear a hoodie and feel safe. I can wear a hoodie and not have any problems. As I’ve reflected, not everyone has that privilege.

How does it all connect? As a majority group member it is easy to say, “We are all just people, so if I’m psychologically safe you are too.” Nothing could be further from the truth. While we are all people, we are all experiencing life in unique ways because of our dimensions of differences. Something I’ve continued to learn is that just because I feel psychologically safe, it doesn’t mean the same situation is safe for others. Just because I’m included, doesn’t mean others feel included. This idea links back to the first blog post about hoodies and psychological safety, and how important it is to be intentional when you are creating safe environments. It’s not enough to create safe environments. You also must be thoughtful regarding who those environments are safe for.

The challenge: Are you recognizing your position and your privilege? Are you building environments where EVERYONE can feel safe, valued, welcomed, trusted, and cared for?

Bonus video- “Are hoodies dangerous for black men?” Perspective worth thinking about to challenge the biases we have.

Have a jolly good day and have a safe Halloween,

Andrew Embry

Hoodies and Psychological Safety (10-28-20)

When I was 16 someone gave me an Aeropostale hoodie. 20 years later, it is one of my favorite pieces of clothing to wear despite the imperfect frayed edges of the sleeves and gentle wear and tear it has. It’s a great piece of clothing, because there’s something special about putting on a hoodie in the fall. It’s like wearing warmth and comfort, and we need that as the year gets a little colder and darker with each passing day. This warmth and comfort is created by the loose fit, the thick cotton to keep you warm, and having a pouch to put your hands in. It’s the perfect outfit to be comfortably and confidently me. The pic is the hoodie with my favorite ninja turtle from 2 years ago.

What do hoodies have to do with psychological safety? Psychological safety allows all employees to work in an environment without fear of being insulted, judged, or marginalized due to stereotypes or biases. People will only share their diverse ideas, experiences, knowledge and insights if they feel safe. Have you ever been on a team where you had psychological safety? What did it feel like? For me, it felt warm, comfortable, and welcoming just like settling into a hoodie on a crisp fall night. Have you ever been on a team where you didn’t have psychological safety? What did that feel like? On the best days it felt like wearing a t-shirt made of hay, where something is always scratching you and making you uncomfortable and anxious.

Here’s the thing, the hoodie didn’t give me those feelings by accident. It’s intentionally made to create feelings of comfort and safety with everything from the overall shape of the garment to the material used to the size and design. In a similar way, creating psychological safety doesn’t happen accidentally. Psychological safety is intentionally created by actions you take to ensure people feel welcomed, heard, respected, and valued. Here is a link with tips you can take to create psychological safety- https://leadingwithtrust.com/2018/10/14/50-practical-ways-to-build-psychological-safety-in-your-team/

The challenge: What actions are you taking to create psychological safety?

I stand in solidarity against injustice and in support of humanity.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry