Tag: personal-growth

Lesson 5- The Importance of Reward and Recognition (11-26-25)

This is the last in the series of lessons that kept repeating for me throughout the year.  Lesson 5 is that reward and recognition are more important now than ever before.

I’ve noticed a pattern over the past few months.  When I’ve shown appreciation for people this year, their reaction has been stronger than in years past.  Don’t get me wrong.  People have always been thankful.  They have always appreciated being seen and recognized for their work.  It just seems like rather than words of recognition and appreciation being a small boost, they are now filling a deep hole.  Have you noticed this?

Why is this happening?  I’m not sure what it is.  I don’t know if it’s because we are running faster and harder than ever before.  I don’t know if it’s because life feels less stable than it ever has.  Maybe it’s because collectively we’ve lost touches of our humanity as we have become connected with devices and less connected to each other.  Maybe it’s because our unspoken question is, “Do I matter?” as we exist in large corporate machines.  Whatever it is, I feel that there is less acknowledgement of others and their worth than there has been in years past.  It’s a massive tangible difference that I can feel with individuals AND more broadly with groups.  What do you think?

While I don’t have any idea what is causing this, it is making me more aware of how much power each of us has, and how easily we can use that power as a force for good.  Taking a few moments to say a kind word.  Spending a few minutes writing an email shouting out someone for their effort.  These things don’t just create ripples; they create powerful waves now.

The challenge: We have more power to lift others up than we will ever realize.  Will you use this power to recognize someone and fill them up today? 

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Obstacles and Celebrating Progress/Small Wins (10-15-25)

Last week was about embracing the grimy path to success.  This week is about failed rope climbs, conquered warped walls, and celebrating progress and small wins.

I failed the warped wall 3 times at Frontline OCR back in May, which resulted in some nasty friction burns on my leg.  With that in mind, I came into the recent Midwest OCR looking for redemption.  The first obstacle I ran into was the rope climb.  I did not complete this obstacle.  HOWEVER, I’m so excited, because for the first time in my life, I actually hooked my feet correctly.  I got further than I’ve ever made it.  Then, when I got to the warped wall, I finally beat that thing!  I latched onto the rope and knew I wasn’t letting go until I had finished climbing the wall.  I had so much adrenaline running through my body after completing the wall that I thought I might pass out.

What does this have to do with anything?  It would have been easy for me to call my race a failure.  I failed obstacles.  I was slower than I wanted to be.  I didn’t win.  However, I view it a success because of the progress and small wins I had.  Now think about work for a minute.  How often do you pause to celebrate progress and small wins?  Be honest.  If you’re anything like me, it’s so easy to get focused on the end goal with a win/lose mentality that I don’t pause at work.  Then, I find myself feeling stuck or like a failure, all because I haven’t opened my eyes to the progress that has been made.  Does this sound familiar to anyone else?  It doesn’t have to be this way.  We can all be celebrating small wins on a more regular basis.

The challenge: How will you ensure you are celebrating progress and small wins along the way?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Embracing the Grimy Path to Success (10-8-25)

This week we are going to kick off some reflections from my recent obstacle course race at Midwest OCR.  Our first topic is embracing the grimy path to success.

Here is the picture of me after my most recent obstacle course race.  I’m smiling, striking a pose, looking strong, and proudly wearing my medal.  This picture makes it look like I smoothly and effortlessly navigated the race in a perfect fashion.  None of that is true.  My race was ugly.  You don’t see how I failed quite a few obstacles.  You don’t see me red faced and feeling like I was dying on some of those hills.  You don’t see the time I tripped and slid down a hill into a knee-deep mud bog that swallowed my legs and almost took my shoes.  You don’t see the bruises I picked up along the way.  Now that you know those things, does this make me any less successful?  For me, just because it might have been a little ugly doesn’t take away from the fact that I was ultimately successful. 

Let’s make some connections.  Have you ever looked at a successful person and said, “Whoa! They have it all figured out.  They just make success look so smooth and effortless.  They must be perfect”?  I know I have.  Then the next thing I did was start comparing myself to them, which led to self-doubt.  I would feel like a failure if everything I did wasn’t effortless and smooth.  As I’ve got older, I’ve realized that success doesn’t come from things being flawless.  Success is the result of continuing to persevere, especially when things are grimy and ugly.  

The challenge: Will you embrace that success doesn’t have to be pristine?  Will you embrace that the path to success is often grimy and ugly?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Building Houses and Pacing vs Pushing Yourself (10-1-25)

This wasn’t the blog I intended to write this week, but I was driving into work on Tuesday and the universe told me this is the story that needs told.  This week is about building houses and the balance between pushing and pacing yourself.

Pretend for a minute that you build houses.  You’ve been building a house since January 1st.  It’s a large and difficult job, and you’ve been grinding day in and day out.  So far, you’ve made good progress.  Now you find out there will need to be some last-minute changes on top of the unfinished work you already have.  You know you should pace yourself, but there is so much stuff to do that you begin overly pushing yourself.  You are working hard and working long hours.  You get tired.  Your work gets a little sloppy.  At one point you’re so tired that as you are hammering nails you hit your hand and break all the bones in it.  You get the house done before the end of the year, but it’s not exactly your best work, you have broken bones, and you are spending the end of the year hoping you can heal a bit before starting the process all over again.

Let’s make some connections.  We may not be building houses, but I think it’s safe to say that we all have been running hard this year.  It’s been another year of high expectations and doing more with less.  I’ve seen all of us work and push and work and push to deliver for the people we serve.  With all that said, we are now kicking off Q4, and that is always a mad dash to the end of the year.  In the midst of this mad dash, I want us to finish strong, not broken.  I want us to finish the year and be ready for rest, not needing to heal whether that is physically or mentally.  What we build matters, AND the people who do the building matter too.

The challenge: How can ensure you are pacing yourself vs pushing yourself to the point where it becomes hazardous to your health?

Bonus challenge: If you are a leader, how are you setting up the environment so your people can deliver without harming themselves?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Therapy and Radical Acceptance (9-18-24)

Last week was about therapy and thought traps.  This week we are diving into the powerful idea of radical acceptance.  I consider this to be my favorite therapy tool and mindset shift.  This email is a bit longer, because I wanted to dig a little deeper into the concepts and I’m throwing in a couple examples.

During one of my therapy sessions I was talking about my problems and saying things like, “I keep running into X, and it sucks.  It SHOULD be going like this.  And I’m facing Y situation.  It SHOULD NOT be going like that.  It SHOULD be happening like this.”  Have you ever been overwhelmed by the thought of how things should be vs how they are?  After listening to me, my therapist hit me hard like a punch straight to the gut with an insight that cut to the core of my problem.  She said something along the lines of, “You are making yourself suffer twice.  You’re suffering the first time because the challenge you are facing is hard.  That’s true.  It is hard.  You are making yourself suffer a second time, because you are refusing to accept reality for what it is.  Instead of embracing reality you keep saying this SHOULD or SHOULD NOT be happening.  You are creating unrealistic expectations, and that’s causing you even more pain because they can’t be fulfilled.” 

I sat there stunned for a moment, and then my therapist talked to me about the concept of radical acceptance.  Radical acceptance is focused on embracing what IS instead of what should be.  The main idea is learning how to OBJECTIVELY look at a situation to see the real facts, challenges, and constraints.  There is no judgment about whether it’s good or bad.  It’s merely looking at the situation and saying, “This is reality.  This is the challenge I need to contend with.”  I can’t express how important of a mindset shift this was for me.  Once I learned how to practice radical acceptance, I could step back from a situation and be objective.  Once I learned how to embrace radical acceptance, the emotions of a situation no longer had such a hold on me.  Being objective and creating distance helped me analyze what was occurring, so I could see potential solutions and get unstuck. 

What does this have to do with anything?  Whether it’s your personal life or work, it’s easy to get swept up in what SHOULD happen, and to become so focused on this that you end up suffering twice when reality doesn’t meet your expectations.  Instead, we need to practice radical acceptance, embrace reality, and then problem solve.  Below are a couple of real examples from my recent life.  Do either of these sound familiar?

Too much work example– I started by telling myself this, “We have too much work to do.  We SHOULD have more headcount or more resources.  This is crap!  I guess I’ll just have to work zillions of hours.”  Does this ring any bells?  Then I practiced radical acceptance with the team and the conversation turned into this, “The reality of the situation is that we have too much work to do.  We don’t have the resources or people to do it all, and there are no indications that we are going to get more people or resources anytime soon.  The only way we can get it all done is if we work ourselves to death.  I don’t want that for any of us.  Now let’s problem solve.  It won’t be easy, but we need to make choices.  What do we value?  What can we prioritize?  Okay, we value X, so we are going to focus all our efforts on Y and Z and leave everything else alone.  I’ll start emailing folks to tell them we won’t help with their request right now, and/or we will offer them ______ because we are already doing that so they can try that if they want to but we won’t be doing anything special for them.”  The situation didn’t necessarily get easier, but practicing radical acceptance enabled me to problem solve without suffering twice.  Also, it might sound weird to say but practicing radical acceptance also has enabled me to be more zen, even in the midst of a lot of chaos.

Health and fitness example– I have what will likely be my last obstacle course race of the year in about 1.5 weeks.  For the past couple of weeks I’ve been beating myself up.  I’ve been saying things like, “I SHOULD have lifted more.  I SHOULD have done more dead hangs.  I SHOULD have ran more.  I SHOULD have been better with all aspects of my health.  I can’t believe I didn’t do those things.  I suck.  I SHOULD NOT feel like I’m more or less starting over.”  Have you ever beat yourself up over your health and fitness goals?  The reality of the situation is that I’m not happy about this, but it is the situation I’m in.  Due to a wide variety of reasons, I did not train as much as I would have liked, and there is NOTHING I can do to change that.  Rehashing it over and over again does not help.  Practicing radical acceptance led me to realize that I have a limited number of days left to prepare for the race.  I have the opportunity to make the most of those.  Most importantly, the reality is that even if I didn’t train as much as I would have liked, I can still have a lot of fun at the race.  I’m no longer beating myself up, and I feel so much better.

The challenge: How will you practice radical acceptance to embrace reality for what it is?

Resources- Here are a few videos I watched about radical acceptance.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Expanding Your Comfort Zone (6-26-24)

A person holding a staff Description automatically generatedLast week was about parenting and tailoring support.  This week is about expanding your comfort zone.

About a year ago, Cameron watched his sister in The Wizard of Oz on the big stage in the spring play.  This sparked Cam’s interest in doing something similar.  The only problem was that he was nervous and scared to do something like that.  This was outside of his comfort zone.  Instead of giving up, Cam thought about things he could do to expand his current comfort zone, so being on the big stage wouldn’t be such a big leap.  He started by signing up for a puppet camp last summer.  Then he signed up and participated in a fall show with younger kids.  He found he enjoyed those two things, and this gave him the confidence to be in a bigger show.  A few weeks ago, he was on the big stage in Beauty and the Beast.  He was in the ensemble, so mainly in the background as a villager and a dancing spoon.  However, he ended up getting one line.  He’s proud of being the angry mob member who yelled, “Kill him!” which started everyone to go after the Beast.  Now that he’s had one line, he’s starting to think about auditioning for a bigger part next year.  The audition is a little daunting, so he’s already thinking of smaller things he can do to stretch his comfort zone for that.

What does this have to do with anything?  Cam saw how far out of his comfort zone being on stage was, and instead of giving up he became INTENTIONAL about taking small steps to expand his comfort zone.  The first couple of shows gave him confidence.  Then practicing for the big show set up him for success.  By the time he was on the show, he was 100% feeling himself, and I loved his swagger 😉 Now think about your own life.  Are there things you’d like to do outside of your comfort zone?  Those things might seem too big and too scary now, but are there small steps you can take to move toward them?

The challenge: How will you expand your comfort zone?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting, Obstacle Course Races, and Tailoring Support (6-19-24)

Last week was about Alice’s wisdom, “Have a day you can be proud of.”  This week is a story about parenting, obstacle course racing, and tailoring support.  Shout out to Mud Run – Hollis Adams for putting on such a fabulous family friendly event.

On Saturday, Alice joined me for her first ever obstacle course race.  To say that she was nervous would be a major understatement.  I told her it was okay to be nervous, and that I’d be there beside her.  I explained that I wasn’t going to swoop in and do the obstacles for her, but I would be there to help her if she needed it.  Sometimes, helping her looked like me giving her advice on how to attempt an obstacle.  Sometimes, support looked like me giving her a boost, so she could get her footing while climbing a muddy creek bank.  Sometimes, support looked like me saying, “I know you’re scared because you’re on top of this tall wall.  You can still do this.  I’m here.  Just swing your leg over.”  Sometimes, support looked like me just cheering her on and high fiving her for conquering an obstacle.  By the end of the race, we had achieved our goals, and Alice was so excited and proud of herself.  I was super pumped too!  (The picture on the right is out before picture. The after picture is at the bottom).

What does this have to do with anything?  There were several times where Alice was nervous or flat out scared.  It would have been EASY for me to do all the work for her, but that would have robbed her of a chance to grow and see what she was capable of.  Instead of doing it for her, I helped and offered support.  That support took different forms based on HER needs in that specific moment.  Now think about work for a minute.  The best leaders I ever had weren’t the ones who swooped in and saved me from a challenge.  The best leaders I ever had were the ones who knew how to tailor their support to the situation.  Sometimes, I needed explicit direction, because I was lost.  Sometimes, I needed a thought partner to challenge my assumptions.  Sometimes, I just needed someone to say, “I trust you.  Go get’em!”

The challenge: How will you tailor the coaching and support you give to people?

Bonus lesson- I mentioned that Alice was nervous about the race.  In particular, she was worried about what would happen if she wasn’t strong enough to handle an obstacle.  She’s a planner and needed to know how things would work out.  I needed her to trust that I was strong and able to help her in any situation.  Here’s what I did.  I came home after my 20 miles of racing, and said, “I did 20 miles of racing yesterday.  I’m at my weakest and most tired point.  I need you to know that even now, I’m strong enough to support you.  I want you to know that I’ve helped boost and lift people who are my size, so you’ll be easy.  We are going to practice, so you know how this will work.”  From there, we practiced me giving her boosts and lifting her up.  I even had her sit on my shoulders while I squatted her for reps.  I walked around the house with her on my shoulders, so she knew I could carry her.  I know this all sounds ridiculous, but those actions showed her that she could trust my strength.  She realized that if I was able to do that when I was tired and weak, I’d be even better when I was rested up for our race.  As a leader, I’m not asking you to pick up people and squat them for reps (I’m pretty sure HR would frown on that 😉).  I am asking you to consider what you could do to inspire trust in the people you lead.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Professional and Personal Quarterly Check-in (3-27-24)

This week’s entry is about quarterly check-ins for work and for yourself.  It’s a longer email, because I’m including my own quarterly self-assessment as an example.

As we finish out the end of Q1, I find myself doing a lot of reflecting on the progress that has been made on various projects and tasks at work.  I’m asking myself things like, “Where are we now compared to where we were at the beginning of the quarter?  Were we able to achieve our goals?  If so, how do we keep up the momentum?  If not, what should we adjust to do better?  How can we ensure we regroup and are clear and focused for Q2?”  It seems like a perfect moment to pause, reflect, regroup, and plan before attacking Q2.

What does this have to do anything?  While this is great for work, we could apply this same thinking to our personal lives as well.  What are some of your goals for 2024?  How did you do with them in Q1?  Have you stopped to CELEBRATE your progress?  Stop RIGHT NOW and celebrate something you’ve achieved.  After you celebrate, then you can reflect and see if there are any gaps.  If you have gaps, why do you have gaps?  What happened?  What got in the way?  How can you adjust to reach your goals for this quarter?

The challenge: Will you take the time to do a quarterly check-in?  What changes will you make to set yourself up for the rest of the year?

Bonus: Here is my review based on the dimensions in my life I set goals for.  Hopefully, it sparks a thought or two for you.  Also, just know if things have been tough lately, you’re not the only one.  Bottom line- tough quarter, and I need to bounce back. The picture of me flipping a tire is from my most recent obstacle course race and summarizes my Q1 in a nutshell. It was all about moving heavy stuff and getting through it.  I did it, but dang it was so much harder and uglier than I wanted it to be, or it needed to be.

  • Intentionally Invest (D+)- This is my mantra for the year.  This is about being intentional about where and how I invest my energy.  Investing my energy means doing the right things that help me be the best version of myself.  I gave myself a bad grade, because I wasn’t intentional.  I got overwhelmed by a lot of things and just started recklessly spending energy.  It wasn’t helpful and it didn’t help me get to where I wanted to go.
  • Mental Health (C-)- Overall, I want to feel like I’m in a good, strong, solid mental state.  In full transparency, life and work just kicked my butt this quarter.  The stress was overwhelming and was too much for me to manage in an efficient way.  I got really lost and stuck trying to trudge through everything.  Feeling lost and stuck drained so much of my mental energy.  I spent so much energy here that I didn’t spend it on taking care of myself.  I am proud of myself for getting some help.  Moving forward, I need to use the new tools I’m developing, so I won’t get so stuck.  If I can do that, everything else will improve dramatically. 
  • Physical Health (C-)- The goal is to take good care of myself, so I can do the things I want to be able to do.  The only reason I’m not giving myself a worse grade, is because I did manage to at least hold things together enough to complete a couple of obstacle course races.  Other than that, I was inconsistent with working out, my sleep was poor, and my nutrition was abysmal.  I’m ready to do better in Q2.
  • Family (ugly hard-earned B)- The goal is to feel like I’m being an amazing husband and dad.  As they say in The Inside Job podcast, “Life gets lifey.”  It’s been a hard few months with each day seemingly bringing new challenges.  I give myself an “ugly hard-earned B” because it’s like one of those things in school where you have to put in so much effort you dang near exhaust yourself just to make it.  I was not necessarily excellent, but I found ways to hold it together.  It’s an ugly B, but one I can be proud of.  At the same time, I think some work and mental health challenges got in the way of me being on the top of my game here.
  • Career (ugly hard-earned B)- The goal is to feel like I’m delivering magic.  It’s a high bar about being in a flow state and getting incredible things done.  Similar to my Family category, challenges kept popping up and compounding on themselves day in and day out.  As a result, this quarter was filled with nothing but peaks and valleys, and they couldn’t have been further from each other.  At times I was operating at a high level, and there were other times when I felt like an ineffective burned-out piece of garbage.  This is another hard-earned ugly B that left me a little bruised and roughed up.  I believe I focused on the right things.  It just so happens that all the right things were the extremely difficult, and it was like carving through ambiguity made of marble while walking through quicksand.  It took so much energy to keep slogging forward, and I know I was burned out for a period of time.  On the positive side, I’m proud of myself for finding a way to regroup.  I feel I’m getting my energy and magic back.  All I need is a little more momentum, and then I’ll be like the Juggernaut (bonus points if you get the X-men reference)
  • Financial (B)- The goal is to ensure we are saving/investing money in the right way.  I’ve already shifted money for investments.  Some of these have been home repair things (replacing the hot water heater has been AMAZING!) and some of these are investing in fun vacations for later in the year.  I do acknowledge that I was wasting too much money on junk food and stuff as I was super stressed.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Performing Poetry in Bars and Embracing Discomfort to be Successful (1-24-24)

Last week was about choosing when to feel discomfort.  This week is about performing poetry in bars and embracing discomfort to be successful.

I remember one time earlier in my career, when I had crushed a presentation in front of a difficult audience that peppered me with tough questions. Afterwards, a person asked me what my secret was.  I replied, “As a hobby I perform poetry in bars.  Imagine presenting in a room where everyone is loud and obnoxious.  Imagine sharing deep parts of yourselves and then getting a low score on the poem.  Imagine being booed.  None of that is pleasant.  Besides the poetry, I do dry runs where I ask people to come at me hard with stuff to throw me off my game.  That gets bumpy.  You live through that ugliness a few times, and the official presentation becomes a lot easier.”

Where is this going?  A large reason why I was successful presenting in a tough situation is because I had spent so much time embracing discomfort.  As a result, my mind and body were ready for the discomfort when the stakes were real.  The pressure from the situation and the tough questions weren’t anything new.  They were things I had dealt with and more importantly overcome time and time again.  Once the pointed questions started coming, it’s like my muscle memory took over and just handled things.  However, if I would have never experienced discomfort like that before, I would have frozen.

Think about work for a moment.  How often are you embracing situations that cause discomfort?  How often do you truly encourage people to challenge you and your thinking?  How often do you do a dry run and ask people to critique you before the real presentation?  How often do you role play through difficult feedback and conversations, so you can be prepared for the real convo?  If you’re anything like me, you probably don’t create or invite these situations as often as you should.  While none of those situations are particularly pleasant, consistently embracing discomfort in lower stakes instances make it a lot easier to tolerate that discomfort when things are on the line.

The challenge: How are you embracing discomfort to grow and be better? 

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry