Spider-Man: Miles Morales and Understanding the Other Side (3-3-21)

This is the last in our series about Spider-Man: Miles Morales. Last week was about setting the stage to welcome authenticity. This week is about trying to understand the other side before passing judgment. This contains some SPOILERS about the video game.

In most video games (or stories for that matter) there is a clear hero and a clear villain. My daughters know this, so when they played Spider-Man with me they assumed that whoever Spider-Man was trying to stop was obviously evil. In the game, there is an energy company called Roxxon and there is a character named The Tinkerer. Spider-Man fights the Tinkerer early in the game, so my daughters assumed they were evil was evil. As the game unfolds, you learn that Roxxon is doing some shady things and that The Tinkerer is leveraging some outside of the law means to try to stop them. When this is revealed Alice says, “Wait. So is the Tinkerer a good guy or a bad guy?” I replied with, “What do you think?” Alice responded by saying, “I don’t know. They are doing some things I wouldn’t do, but I also understand why they are doing it. This is tricky.”

What does this have to do with anything? Too often in life we assume that all situations are black and white. We see something that we wouldn’t necessarily do, declare it is wrong, and decide the “other” is bad. We don’t always take the time to understand their situation and where they are coming from. The fact is that it’s rarely ever so cut and dry. Trying to truly understand the other person is the first step to seeing the problem and ultimately finding a solution. We see this play out in politics, personal relationships, and even work. How often have you been part of a conversation where someone decided the other person was wrong, before ever trying to understand them? How often have you been that person who passed judgment without understanding?

Here is what makes listening to the other side even harder. It’s human instinct to want to be heard before we try to understand the other person. If we don’t feel like we are being heard, it’s too easy to close our mind to what the other side is saying. I know something I’m continuing to focus on is seeking first to understand before demanding to be understood, even if the other side isn’t originally listening to me.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Spider-Man: Miles Morales and Authenticity (2-24-21)

Happy Wednesday,

Last week was about representation. This week is about Spider-Man: Miles Morales and appreciating authenticity.

One of my favorite parts about Spider-Man: Miles Morales is that it feels different from the first Spider-Man game, where you play as Peter Parker, a white middle class college student from Queens. The developers could have made the second game feel exactly the same, but they didn’t do this. Instead, they gave each game its own personality with its unique characters, setting, story, music, etc. The developers never tried to force fit Miles into being Peter, because that would not have been true to who Miles is. As a result, you get two games that are true to themselves. This only works, because there is a large enough audience willing to embrace all the different ways someone could be Spider-Man.

How does this connect with anything? In the video game analogy, the audience had to be willing to embrace a different kind of Spider-Man. They needed to be able to look at Peter Parker and Miles Morales and say, “Both of these individuals create compelling stories because of who they are as individuals.” Even if the developers wanted Miles and Peter to be authentic to themselves, it wouldn’t work unless the audience embraced who those characters are.

Often we put the responsibility of being authentic on the individual. We tell people, “You just need to bring your authentic self to work.” We say this like it should be easy to do, and it isn’t. Bringing your authentic self only works if the audience is able to say, “Bob and Joe are different people with unique backgrounds who each bring their own perspective to the role, AND they both are able to deliver BECAUSE of what makes them unique.” If we are being honest with ourselves, often we aren’t to the point of fully embracing the authenticity of others. We still get hung up on the way we think things SHOULD be done. Rather than put the responsibility of being authentic on the individual, this responsibility falls on our leaders and co-workers. Leaders set the tone and co-workers help set and/or embrace the tone that is set. If these individuals (the audience) isn’t willing to embrace the authenticity of others, the individual can never be their authentic self.

The challenge: How are you creating the space that encourages people to be who they are?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Spider-Man: Miles Morales, Representation, and Inclusion

Happy Wednesday,

Last week was about challenging biases. This week is about the video game Spider-man: Miles Morales, representation, and inclusion.

Alice (8) was watching me play the game and there is a scene where Spider-man (Miles Morales) uses sign language to communicate with a character who is deaf. Alice asked, “Why isn’t she talking?” I explained that the character is deaf and often individuals who are deaf use sign language to communicate. Alice then said, “Why would they do that in a video game?”

It was an interesting question and a powerful moment, because I realized that Alice had never seen someone who offered this element of difference. I told Alice, “She’s in the video game, because the people who created this video game understand that she has a story worth telling. On top of that, the people who made the video game understand that she represents the people out in the world who are like her and also have stories worth telling. It’s kind of the same way with Miles Morales. How cool is it to have a Spider-man who is Black and Puerto Rican? How cool is it to have a Spider-man who can tell different stories? We all are unique, and we all have our own stories to tell. I say the more different stories we can see the better.” Alice paused for a moment and then said, “Yeah, that’s pretty cool!”

How does this connect with anything? If you pause for a moment and think about the things you watch on TV and the people at your work, how many of them look like you and are like you? The majority of the world looks like me. This sends clear signals that I’m welcome and included in a variety of situations. The same can’t be said for all people. While it’s easy to look at the progress we’ve made with regards to diversity and inclusion, the fact is that non-majority group members are still vastly underrepresented at all levels in an organization. A lack of representation, a lack of people who look and are like you, is often a signal that you aren’t necessarily welcome and included in an environment. If we want to live in a world where all people are valued, then we need to work to ensure all people are represented and are included.

The challenge: How will you include a wider variety of people in your work and life?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Spider-Man: Miles Morales and Challenging Biases (2-10-21)

Last week was about video games, milestones, and ambiguity. This week we are going to look at Spider-man: Miles Morales and challenging biases.

I mentioned earlier in the series that Miles Morales is Black and Puerto Rican. Throughout the game there are times when he speaks Spanish to his mom and other characters. At one point, my daughter Violet (6) asked, “Why are they speaking Spanish?” I responded by saying, “Why shouldn’t they be speaking Spanish? What’s wrong with that?” She said, “This is an English video game and an English TV, right? So shouldn’t they speak English?” I paused for a moment and then explained that Miles is Black and Puerto Rican, and was raised in multiple cultures. This means he speaks English and Spanish. I explained that this is a story about Miles, and if Miles is being true to himself, then he should speak Spanish. He should embrace who he is, and this gives us a chance to see the beauty in who Miles is and where he comes from. From then on, Violet had an appreciation for Miles being who he is.

Do you see the connections? When she asked me that question all I could think about is how often I’ve heard other white majority members say similar things. “Why do they have to speak Spanish? Why does that person act so Black? Why can’t she just act like one of the guys?” Maybe you’ve said or thought these things (I know I have, especially when I was younger and more ignorant). Maybe you’ve heard other people say those things. Maybe you’ve been the target of those statements. All of these statements (and ones like them) are racist, sexist, etc. because they are all based in the assumption that the majority way of doing something is superior and the right way of doing things. When Violet asked her question what she was really saying was, “I’m closer to the majority. Those characters are not the majority. Why don’t they just assimilate and act like the majority? Isn’t the majority way the best way? Shouldn’t they assimilate to that?” Those statements and mindsets are signals that individuals are not welcome and will not be included. It was challenging the assumption of why that behavior is inferior or wrong that got her to realize that it wasn’t and she was wrong to view it that way. In a similar way, we all have these built in biases. Unless we are actively challenging our biases, we will never get better.

The challenge: How are you confronting your biases and assumptions to be a better human?

Bonus: Last year I read, How to be an Antiracist by Dr. Ibram X. Kendi. It opened my eyes to how often I have had and continue to have assimilationist views and how those are harmful. Worth checking out.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Spider-Man: Miles Morales- Milestones and Unclear Paths (2-3-21)

This week we are going to kick off a series inspired by the video game Spider-man: Miles Morales. We will focus on video games, milestones, and unclear paths.

In this game you play as Miles Morales as he embraces his role as Spider-man. In case you aren’t familiar with Miles, he is biracial with a Black dad and a Puerto Rican mom. (You should also watch Into the Spider-verse). He is new to his powers and just coming into his own as a superhero. When you start the game you know that you’ll ultimately have to save the city, but you have no idea the path you will take to do this. While you don’t have a clear path that shows exactly how you’ll beat the game, you do have milestones you need to reach. For instance, a dot will show up on your map telling you to go there. You go to that destination and learn about what is going on in the game. After you complete that objective, you gain more insight into what the next step is. You go to the next dot on your map and repeat the process. As you complete the series of objectives you gain new powers and momentum that aid you in your quest. By the time you get to the final battle you’ve achieved a series of short-term goals that have set you up for ultimate long-term success.

What does this have to do with anything? I’ve come to accept that dealing with ambiguity will be one of the few constants in life. Things are more complex and changing faster than ever. It’s impossible to always have step by step instructions on how to reach your goals. This lack of clarity on a precise path forward makes it easy to freeze up and feel lost when facing a messy situation. Have you ever felt this way? In times like this, I think we have to take the video game approach. Instead of being paralyzed because every step isn’t laid out in front of us, we need to be willing to look at the situation, identify a few milestones, and start moving in their direction even if we don’t have every other step perfectly laid out. Similar to the Spider-man game, making progress on our first objective will give us the learning and momentum to better define and progress along a path toward our ultimate goal. It just requires us to be brave enough to keep moving forward even if we can’t plan out every little step.

The challenge: When faced with ambiguity, how will you find a way to move forward?

Bonus thought: Whenever I’m faced with an ambiguous situation I tend to ask myself these questions to try to bring clarity:

What do I believe the end goal is? By the end of this, what should people think/feel/do? Who can I bounce this thinking off of?
What is the from to for this?
What are 3 major milestones I’ll need to hit between now and the end goal to be on the path toward success? I’ve found I can always identify 3 milestones.
What is an immediate step I can take right now to move things a little bit forward? This could be anything from scheduling time with someone to connect to pulling together rough thoughts to show someone.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry