Be like the Grinch (12-16-15)

This week will be the last blog of 2015. I hope that you have a wonderful and relaxing holiday break with your friends and families. Last week we looked at Rudolph and being “neutral”. This week we will look at another Christmas special, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas!”

During this holiday season I all hope we are like the Grinch. Pretty strange thing to say, right? Let me explain why I feel this way. You may know the story of the Grinch. He is grumpy creature who decides he will try to steal Christmas from the Whos He concocts an elaborate scheme and then steals all of the presents, decorations, etc. in an effort to ruin their holiday. This negative attitude is what we often associate with the Grinch, but this isn’t the end of his story. The Grinch grows as a character, and if you remember our Rudolph story last week life is all about growing, changing, and becoming better.

The Grinch has stolen the gifts, and then he hears the Whos singing, and all of a sudden it hits him right as his sleigh full of gifts starts to go over the cliff. “And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say – that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day. And then – the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of *ten* Grinches, plus two!” He saves the gifts from falling into the cliff, rides into Whoville, and serves the roast beef at the feast.

The reason I hope we are all like the Grinch this year is because he grows and becomes a better person. He begins filled with apathy, malice, and grumpiness, and then he allows love in and it fundamentally changes him. How have you changed and grown this year? Imagine how different the world be if all of our hearts grew like the Grinch’s. Here is to all of us hearing music, seeing the signs, and knowing what it feels like when our hearts grow three sizes in a day.

Have a jolly good day and wonderful holidays,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from Being a Dad Part 4 Feel love. Show love. (7-1-15)

This is going to be the final installment in the lessons I’ve learned since becoming a dad and it’s about love.

I knew pretty early on in our relationship that I loved my wife in a way that I had never loved another person. This love continues to grow to this day. I remember when I found out she was pregnant with our first child that I kept wondering how would I ever love another person with as much heart as I put into loving my wife. When Alice was born I quickly learned my heart, that I already thought was full of love, had even more room to share love with this new incredible person in my life.

Time goes by and my wife becomes pregnant with Violet, our second daughter. I kept thinking to myself, “How can I ever love Violet the way I love Alice? How can I have room for that much love in my heart?” I can’t tell you how it happened, but I can tell you that when Violet was born I once again found that I had more capacity for love. Through these experiences I’ve found that love defies physical laws and many things that we have been taught to believe is true. Normally, if you want to have something you need to acquire it. However, love is different. The more love I give away, the more love that comes back to me.

So what does love have to do with work? I try to live each day sharing love. Every high five, compliment, hug, handshake, conversation, etc. is one way of me saying that I love and care about that person. Every transparent bit of honesty, every suggestion I make, any criticism or feedback, I try to do out of love, and I feel that’s the difference between when things go well and they don’t. When that other person knows I care about them and what’s best for them, I can say/do anything that might help them be better. When they don’t know this, even the best of intentions go awry.

The challenge- Feel love. Show love. Spread love.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Real Love and the Road Runner (2-11-15)

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and we have been bombarded with advertisements for date nights and jewelry. It’s only fitting that this blog is about love. (I know this is work, but we’re still allowed to talk about the “L” word, right?)

If you ask my mom, she’ll tell you that she knew I was going to marry my wife before I did. If you ask her why, she won’t give you some sappy story about a twinkle in my eye, my heart fluttering, or any of that superficial stuff. She’ll tell you it’s because she could tell right away that Diane would challenge me and make me better. (My mom would also say that she knew Diane would be ready to knock me down a few pegs when I was being an idiot, but we don’t need to go there or talk about how many times that has happened.)

Real love isn’t about fairy tale happy endings and always being happy. Real love isn’t about always agreeing and getting along. Real love isn’t about the words you say, but is instead about your everyday actions. Real love is about caring enough for a person that you are there for them to help them be the best they can be.

What does this have to do with work? Well, what are you doing to show the people you work with that you love and care about them? A few weeks ago, I send an email to Bob (fictitious name) and said, “I’m trying to accomplish X, and I need you to send me slides 1, 2, and 3 for a presentation I’m putting together.” Do you know what Bob does? Bob gets back to me and asks me a few more questions about what I mean when I say I want to accomplish X. Then he tells me, “I know you asked for slides 1, 2, and 3, but they won’t get you to X. You don’t really want those, but I’ll get you what you need to get to X.” He was right and got me the info I actually needed to help me have success. He cared enough about me to challenge me and make me better. He does this all the time, so as you can imagine, he’s one of my favorite people to work with.

Be Bob and show some love to the people you work with.

Bonus: A few years ago when I was on a National Poetry Slam team my teammates did a poem about Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote, one of the best love stories ever told. If you want something a little different, check it out. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xa7oni_ali-muldrow-et-evy-gildrie-voyles-n_webcam

Peace and love,

Andrew Embry

A Charlie Brown Christmas and our Work (12-17-14)

This is my last entry for the year, so first I just wanted to say thanks to everybody who takes the time to read through these random thoughts each week. If you were receiving these emails a year ago you might remember this one. It’s about A Charlie Brown Christmas, and I couldn’t think of a better message to end on.

In the special, Charlie Brown is upset, because so many people are making Christmas too commercial. He keeps asking what Christmas is all about, and as you remember Linus finally steps on stage and delivers the core message. The core message of Christmas is love. Whether you are talking about the biblical story or you are talking about the spirit of the season, it is about love. It’s about showing other individuals that you care for them and it’s about showing compassion.

I think the exact same series of events happens to us in our work. We get so stuck on the numbers, incentives, competitors, tools, processes, etc. that sometimes we need Linus to step on stage and remind us that all of our work is really about love and people. It’s about caring enough about the people we serve that we will do whatever we can to help them. It’s about caring enough about each other and our team to spend the time and effort to build people up when everything else keeps trying to knock them down.

Here’s to being Linus, and when the time is right to being Snoopy and busting out some sweet dance moves http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUQX2B67KL4 I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season.

Peace and joy,

Andrew Embry

Lessons Learned from being a Dad Part 5- Disciplining out of Love (9-10-14)

There are two lessons I have learned since becoming a parent that work hand in hand with each other.

Lesson 1- Parenting is the name for a lifelong coaching session.
Lesson 2- You can discipline or give feedback to a child out of love or out of negative intent.

Alice acts up sometimes and when she does I have to admit that she’s not always my favorite person in the world (Bonus lesson: Having kids means loving them always, but not always liking them). I don’t like having stern conversations with her and disciplining her. It’s not easy and it’s not fun. The reason I do it though, is because I love her so much that I want to help her grow up and become a good woman. I want her to be polite, nice, generous, caring, loving, etc. I don’t want her breaking stuff, being disrespectful, etc. I do NOT have these conversations with her to prove that I’m smarter, more powerful, or authoritarian. (The picture is Alice right before she transforms into “Defiant Temper Tantrum Throwing Alice”. Transform. Get it? She’s wearing an Optimus Prime shirt. #dadsaysboysaredecepticons)

I’ve noticed the same thing when it comes to giving people feedback. For me, what the person says and how they say it is not as important as the intent behind the words. I’ve had conversations with people who give me feedback by saying things like, “Dude, you’re kind of being an idiot and a jerk” or “I’m not feeling that at all” or “That kind of sucks” but I knew they were having the conversations out of love so it was okay. I know other people who say things that sound nicer like, “I have a little coaching for you if you’ll take it,” which is actually code for “I’m smarter than you are and think you should do things my way.” Let’s just say that’s not the best way to get me to do anything. It’s not just the words. It’s the intent behind them.

In my daughter’s case, I have to constantly demonstrate that I love her and care about her so she always can at least see my intent. I’d say we have the opportunity to do the same with our co-workers.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

I Want to be a Virus (6-5-13)

So I’m standing over at the credit union right next to some display or sign and an employee comes up to change the sign. She jokingly says, “I hope you don’t mind me in your space.” I respond, “That’s cool, but I’m contagious.” Without missing a beat she says, “Me too, we’ve probably already infected everyone around here.” We both start laughing, we chat a little more, and then I leave feeling a little bit more amused and happy than I had 10 minutes earlier. At this point I realized that when I grow up I want to be a virus.

That’s right a virus. I want to be a big incurable virus.

I want to be a plague, a global pandemic, dispersing through planes and hotel rooms. I want to spread through spores in the air, drinking water, and contact with people. I want to be so strong Clorox cleaning wipes and medicine can’t phase me. I want to hit people hard like rock and roll music and hugs from their grandma. Once I infect someone I want them to be so excited that they don’t sleep for 3 days and so relaxed that they feel like they are meditating when they are exercising. I want to impact their nervous system, helping them smile more. I want to mess with their ocular nerves and brain, making them shift the way they view things. Beyond cellular, I want to impact them on a molecular level.

The world needs some more love, so now seems like now is a perfect time to be contagious…

P.S One of my favorite scenes from I Am Legend with Will Smith. It’s a little heavy, but very true. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YK-4SgpAJRs

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry