Lesson 4- Standing Strong in the Emotional Fire (11-19-25)

Last week was about the invisible backpack. This week is lesson 4: the importance of standing strong in the emotional fire.

The other day one of my kids was having a really hard time emotionally. If my kid was a dragon, they were spitting fire everywhere. It would have been easy to tell them to just go to their room on their own to sort it out. It would have been easy to tell them to suck it up and stop making it such a big deal. It would have been easy to step away from the situation, so we wouldn’t get sucked into the energy. Instead, my wife and I sat there. As my kid unleashed fire like a dragon, we sat there. We let the fire go around us and we walked through it. We didn’t try to stop the fire. We sat there with them, and when they stopped breathing fire, we sat there and comforted them until they were whole again.

Let’s make some connections. Standing in the midst of the meltdown wasn’t comfortable. It wasn’t pretty. It was exhausting and difficult. It wasn’t where my wife and I wanted to be. It was where my wife and I needed to be. We needed to show them that their fire didn’t scare us. We needed to be there to show that our love is stronger than any feelings/meltdowns/fire they could throw at us. We needed to be there to show that we will always be a safe and firm foundation for them. It’s not like we did anything magic. We just stayed there, softly speaking words of encouragement, reminding them that they are loved and it’s okay to feel strong feelings. For our family, we will always choose to stand strong in the fire. (By the way, watching my wife sit in that fire was one of the most beautiful and strong things I’ve seen. I hope you’re all blessed to have someone like her.)

The challenge: In a world filled with humans who are often scared to allow their vulnerability to show, will you be strong enough to stand in the fire with them? Will you be strong enough for them to lean on?

Bonus- I also wrote a poem inspired by these events. You can check that out here https://www.linkedin.com/posts/andrew-embry-979831b7_love-emotions-dragons-activity-7396885754817384448-Lkfc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop&rcm=ACoAABjcjy0BSioATZ2Tfprhg_c9r0itVMM87PQ

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Same Situation, Different Experiences (9-10-25)

Last week I spent time with my wife, kids, and family up at a camper. We started reminiscing around a bonfire and shared the story of us moving back to Indiana, which inspired this series. This week is about how people can be in the same situation and have different experiences.

Let me set the scene. It’s a stressful whirlwind. Within a few months, we had our first kid, the first grandkid on my side, I got a new job that would move us from Wisconsin to Indiana, and we had to buy a house. To top it off, we had to do this while I worked in Wisconsin and Diane and a few months old Alice went to Indiana for a month to begin house hunting. They lived with my parents, my brother, 2 cats, and a dog. #stress While Diane and Alice are living with my parents, Alice is only a few months old and is being a typical colicky newborn with constant crying, loud screaming, and irregular sleep. #allthethings

When I spoke with Diane on the phone, she was worried that she and Alice were being an annoying burden for the family. From her point of view, all she could see was the screaming, crying, and the disruption in day-to-day schedules for everyone in the house. I told Diane, “I hear you. What you are saying is valid. Also, that is not at all how my parents are experiencing this right now. When I talk to them, they go on and on about how they are so excited and lucky because their first ever grandkid is LIVING WITH THEM. In their eyes, you and Alice can do no wrong. They are so pumped to be able to spend this time with you two and they love being able to snuggle and love on Alice all the time.”

Let’s connect some dots. Everything my wife experienced was true. Everything my parents experienced was true. The thing is that they were both approaching this from a different starting point. This is a classic instance of people being in the same situation and having different experiences. As we go throughout different experiences, it might be worth taking a moment to reflect on the situation, our starting point, and how that might cause us to interpret things one way or another.

The challenge: How will you be more mindful of how you are experiencing situations? Will you remember that people could be experiencing the same situation differently?

Bonus 1- Big thanks to Charlie Wilson and Bryan Lapel for offering me the job and enabling us to come home. I’m forever thankful.

Bonus 2 (cute story)- My family knew I was going for this job, and we also all thought I had a pretty slim chance to get it. Anyway, I had just got off the phone with Charlie where he offered me the role, and I was so excited! I immediately told Diane and was getting ready to tell my dad when he called me. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he just got new tires put on his vehicle, so he’s ready to drive up to Wisconsin a lot and in the winter to see the grandbaby. Nonchalantly I said, “That sounds cool. Wisconsin is a beautiful state. You can drive up here all you want, but I won’t be living here.” Immediately my dad is like, “WHAT!?!?” I told him I got the job and then he’s ecstatic and like, “You better not be messing with me man!” I assure him I’m not and that Diane and I are excited about moving closer to home. I ask my dad to have my mom call me, so I can tell her. Hours go by and I don’t hear from my mom, which I think is weird. Eventually, she calls me, and I share the news with her. She’s ecstatic. Then, she’s getting onto my dad for not having her call sooner, and the poor guy is like, “I kept nudging you to call Andrew, but you were busy and said you’d call when you had time!” lol

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Rabbit Holes and Perspective (8-7-25)

This is a bonus blog, because the universe said someone needs this today. If you’re the one, just know the universe heard you. This blog is about falling down rabbit holes, taking a step back, gaining perspective, and realizing you’re doing pretty well.

Let me start this by saying I’m not trying to fish for compliments or anything. I just want to be real about the head space I was in. I started my week with these thoughts going through my head, “I have a lot of stuff I need to get done. I’m feeling behind. Here is a whole list of things that aren’t quite going right that need to be fixed. This is not good.” I was in a bit of a rabbit hole. Have any of you been in that headspace? Not a fun place to be.

Then, something interesting happened. I was in a situation where someone was showering me with praise and recognition. They were publicly telling this story like, “Andrew is so awesome. He’s doing great work and it’s providing a lot of value.” All of that punched the negative mindset I had right in the face and shifted my perspective. I went from, “This is not good” to “In the grand scheme of things, stuff is going pretty well. I should feel really great about where I am and what I’m doing.” I also challenged myself to realize that in the grand scheme of things, all of those little things I was worried about don’t matter or detract from what I’m doing.

How does this connect to our day to day? It’s easy for one slip up, one imperfect thing to lead us down a rabbit hole to wallowing in a bad mindset. Once we are sliding down this rabbit hole, it’s easy to lose perspective on how things are truly going. Sometimes, we need to take a step back to look at the situation. Sometimes, we need an external force to help us see the truth of things too.

The challenge: Will you challenge a bad mindset when it starts to set in? Will you help others challenge their bad mindsets when they are stuck in a rabbit hole?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Self-Doubt and Being an Unreliable Narrator (4-16-25)

This week I’m going to kick off a series inspired by different storytelling mechanics. This entry is about self-doubt and being an unreliable narrator.

An unreliable narrator is a storyteller whose account of events can’t be fully trusted. They might be lying on purpose or they might unintentionally have things wrong. The Sixth Sense is a great example of having an unreliable narrator. The story is told from the perspective of Malcom, a child psychologist, played by Bruce Willis. Throughout the movie we see the world unfold through his eyes, and assume the events are true. Then the twist is revealed. Malcom had been dead the entire time and had not known it. As all the pieces start connecting you begin to realize that the events we saw from Malcom’s eyes weren’t the real ones.

You’re probably wondering how this connects to anything. What if we can be an unreliable narrator sometimes like Malcom? What if we allow our self-doubt, skepticism, or other things to infiltrate our minds and distort our perception of the reality around us? Has this ever happened to you? Sometimes, we need some perspective from the outside or another person to nudge us to ensure we have an accurate view on reality.

Let me share a recent personal story with you. My new boss started a couple of months ago. We were having a pretty good heart to heart during a 1 on 1. At the time, self-doubt was shaping my narrative, and I shared something along the lines of, “I feel like I’m just moving soooo slow right now. It’s like I’m not being effective.” My boss looks at me and says something like, “I don’t feel that way or see that being true.” This jolt was similar to the twist in the Sixth Sense, where all of the pieces started to fit together in a different and more true way. This comment made me realize that I might have been an unreliable narrator. Maybe, my perception of what was going on was not actually reality. Maybe, my perception had been distorted by self-doubt. Fast forward from two months ago to yesterday when I had my first performance check-in for the year. Now, I had a better grasp on reality due to a more balanced self-reflection and by listening to the feedback and encouragement from others. Instead of being burdened by self-doubt, I went into that conversation confident. I was able to sit down and tell a story like, “I’m so proud and so excited about everything I’ve delivered so far, AND I also know I’d like to grow in A, B, C areas.” It was a total shift from just a couple of months prior.

The challenge- How will you ensure that self-doubt doesn’t turn you into an unreliable narrator?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting and the Power of Being Kind and Caring (3-5-25)

Our last entry was about little signs of support. This week is about parenting and the power of being caring and kind.

Last week, Alice (almost 13) was having a tough time. I talked to her a bit about it. Later that night, I heard Alice telling my wife how I had been so helpful to her. My heart swelled when I heard her say that. If I’m entirely honest, I have no idea what I did. I can’t think of any special tactic or some magic question or phrase I used. Instead, Alice shared, “He was so caring and kind.”

What does this have to do with anything? Yesterday, was the first day of a market research supplier partner conference. I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in years. We had worked together on a few things when she first joined her company, and then I hadn’t crossed paths with her too much since. I was so excited to see her and how far she had come in her career. Then, she looked at me and said something like, “You may not even know this, but you were like an important part of my early career.” I was shocked. I had no clue I had such an impact on her. If I’m entirely honest, I have no idea what I did that could have made her feel that way. I can’t think of any special nuggets I shared with her. I don’t remember imparting any specific wisdom. I can’t think of any secret market research techniques I showed her. Instead, she went on to explain how I was caring and kind when she started out, and that made all the difference.

Think about the people who have had a positive impact on you in in your career. If I asked you to explain what specifically they did, you might struggle. However, I bet for all of them you would say that they cared about you and were kind. Those two simple things are so powerful. Those two simple things always matter.

The challenge- In a world where it is easy to be uncaring and cruel, will you have the strength to be caring and kind?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting and Little Signs of Support (2-26-25)

Last week was about parenting and setting incentives. This week is about parenting and little signs of support.

Recently, Cameron auditioned for a role in a local production of Finding Nemo. This was a big step for him. He had been in plays before, but this was the first time he auditioned for a speaking role. He put in a lot of effort to get ready. Ultimately, he earned the part of Nigel the pelican. My wife and I wanted to show our support of him and his accomplishment. She was scrolling on Amazon when she found a fun pelican t-shirt she was going to buy for Cam to celebrate his accomplishment. I laughed and asked, “Do they have one in my size?” Check out the pic on the right. Cam got a huge kick out of the fact that I got a shirt just like his and that we could be twins.

What does this have to do with anything? This week’s story shows how appreciated a small show of support can be. The shirts were relatively cheap. There was nothing fancy or flashy. Still, it showed Cam that we saw him and were proud of his accomplishments.

Think about work for a minute. Think about all the ways people show you small signs of support and what that means to you. Maybe, they buy you a coffee. Maybe, they send you a fun meme. Maybe, they send you a quick note. No matter what they do, I’m sure their small sign of support means something. Wouldn’t it be nice if we gave and received these small signs of support more often?

The challenge- What is something small you can do to show you support and appreciate someone today?

Bonus challenge- Are you a peliCAN or a peliCAN’T?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry