Discomfort, Paralysis, and the Glacier Leap (2-7-24)

Last week was about discomfort and psychological safety. This week is about discomfort, paralysis, and the Glacier Leap.

The Glacier Leap is one of the obstacles at the Abominable Snow Race. You start by climbing up an incline wall (covered in snow/ice/slush) until you are on top of the first structure and about 7 or 8 feet off the ground. This is where things get interesting. You have to jump to the next structure making sure you position your body correctly and grab the bar tightly or you will fall.

When I got to the top of the structure, I watched as people would stand at the edge and peer down. You could feel them becoming more and more uncomfortable until they ultimately became paralyzed at the thought of falling. At that point, they wouldn’t jump. Instead, they’d turn around and climb down without ever giving it a try. I knew that the same thing would happen to me if I didn’t move quickly. I made a decision. I would step up to the edge, count out loud, and jump on three. Any more hesitation and the discomfort would turn to fear would turn to paralysis. So, I stepped up, counted to three and jumped! My hands grasped the bar, my feet hit a patch of ice on the wood, and I instantly slid down and fell. It wasn’t exactly pleasant. 😉 At this point, I was determined (or dumb), and refused to let this obstacle beat me. I climbed back up. This time I had an advantage, because I knew exactly what the discomfort felt like. I knew exactly what falling felt like. I had survived, and now those things weren’t so scary. I stepped up, counted to three, and jumped! This time I made it! With my heart beating out of my chest, I stepped up and jumped to the next platform! Success!

What does this have to do with anything? Whether you’re doing an obstacle course race or performing your role at work, sooner or later we all run into a patch of discomfort. When that happens it is easy for the discomfort to turn into fear which turns into paralysis. Have you ever experienced this at work? I know I have. I’ve walked out of situations and said, “I wish I would have asked this. I wish I would have said that. I wish I would have done something different, but I just froze.”

I wish I had a magic way to avoid this, but I haven’t uncovered one yet. All I’ve found is that once the discomfort starts setting in, I need to move. I need to take some kind of action before the discomfort becomes fear and before the fear becomes paralysis. During the obstacle course race I counted to three and then jumped. Counting was the trigger to move. What could your trigger to move be at work? Maybe you write down the statement or question you think you’ll want to make, so when you start to freeze you can just read off the paper. Maybe your action isn’t dealing with something that day, but scheduling time on calendars to handle it in the future. Maybe it’s recognizing that the paralysis is taking over and just stepping out of the situation to catch your breath.

The challenge: How will you ensure discomfort doesn’t paralyze you?

#yetination #abominablesnowrace

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Fear and the Brave Voice (7-12-23)

This week I’m going to kick off a series about lessons I’ve learned from being a dad. This entry is about fear and the Brave voice.

Lately, Cam and I have had a lot of conversations about fear. He talked about how the voice of fear was always too loud, and he couldn’t get it to shut up. One night I explained it to him like this. “The problem isn’t that fear is too loud. The problem is that it’s not being balanced by the Brave voice. Fear is doing its job. Fear’s job is to look out for you. It’s just that fear talks A LOT. The Brave voice says, ‘I hear you fear. Thanks for the input. You make some good points. I’m safe AND I got this!”

This all comes into play during a recent trip to Hoosier Heights, an indoor climbing facility. Cam starts climbing but won’t go up very high because of his fear of heights. We talk about the fear and how the Brave voice tells fear, “I hear you AND I got this.” Cam slowly starts working to face this fear. He climbs a little higher on his own. I climb beside Cam and together we go a bit higher. Each time he does a bit better and better. He continues to build confidence and realize that he’s safe AND he has everything he needs to be successful. Eventually, he makes it to the top of the wall for the very first time! He was so excited and proud!

What does this have to do with anything? If you’re anything like me, you get scared sometimes. Maybe you’re afraid of heights. Maybe you’re afraid of public speaking. Maybe you’re afraid of everyone finding out you’re an impostor. When I was younger, I would try my best to just ignore the fear voice, but that never worked. I would hope that the fear would go away, but that never worked either. The fear is always there somewhere. I’ve learned that I need to listen to fear. I need to give it a chance to say what it needs to say, because it is just trying to look out for me. Then, I need to thank the fear for doing its job, ask the Brave voice to weigh in, and then let fear know I got this.

The challenge: Will you listen to fear as it does its job? Will you make sure your Brave voice is talking too?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Luigi, Fear, and Bravery

Last week was about Super Mario, Super Stars, and recognizing we can’t be invincible all the time. This week is about Luigi, fear, and bravery.

In case you aren’t familiar, in the Super Mario series, Mario (in red) has a brother named Luigi (in green). Mario is typically player 1 and Luigi is player 2. Mario is portrayed as a happy go lucky hero, always there to save the day. Luigi is typically portrayed as anxious, nervous, and afraid. He gets startled and scared easily. They both end up saving the Mushroom Kingdom and other kingdoms on their joint and solo adventures.

At the surface level, Mario is the hero we all want to be. He always seems to be confident and sure of himself, saving the day with a smile on his face. However, I’d argue that Luigi is actually the braver hero. Luigi is consumed by fear, yet he understands that his mission (saving the kingdom, his friends, and/or his brother) is worth fighting for. Luigi is terrified, AND he continues to step into scary and difficult situations in order to do the right thing. Luigi might be player 2, but he’s number 1 in my heart 😉 #smooth

What does this have to do with anything? Similar to Mario and Luigi, it’s easy to assume that bravery and heroism looks like the outwardly confident person who saves the day. However, this isn’t the only way to be a hero. Often, the real hero is the one who faces their own fears, their own personal demons, and keeps moving forward. This is the person who says, “This is going to be an uncomfortable discussion, AND I’m going to lean into it anyway.” or “I’m afraid of this challenge before me, AND I’m still going to tackle it.” Whenever you feel fear in your life, I hope you’re like Luigi. I hope you allow that feeling to wash over you, AND still find a way to take a step forward.

The challenge: How can you better embrace your inner Luigi to be brave in the midst of fear?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Mind-Body Connection and Fear (7-12-17)

Last week was about making the time to take care of yourself and your team in order to ensure you and your team are ready to perform. This week is about the mind body connection as it relates to fear. You’re probably familiar with the concept of the mind body connection. The idea is that your brain and body are linked, so what happens to one impacts the other. Recently, I learned a lesson about this from virtual reality.

My virtual reality story. In real life I stood on a board on the ground that was about ½ inch thick. Then, I put on the virtual reality headgear. When they turned on the program I was hundreds of feet in the air over a tree covered mountain. My goal was to walk on the board to a small tower. Sounds simple right? The problem is that I’m afraid of heights. The moment the program turned on I froze in fear, because all I could see was myself high above the trees and a deadly abyss below. I just kept babbling, “Dude,” over and over again. Meanwhile, my team laughed in the background. (It’s great have a supportive group of people around you.) At one point I said something along the lines of, “My brain knows this is not real, but my eyes and body think it is.” I kept repeating to myself, “This isn’t real,” and eventually I was able to walk across.

Oversimplification of the century, your brain has a primal part that’s focused on raw emotions and survival and then it has a more rational part. Everything is fed through the primal part first. In this story, my eyes saw danger and I froze. I was completely amygdala hijacked (click HERE to learn more about this). I was frozen, because my eyes saw danger and my body responded accordingly. The truth is that the danger didn’t really exist.

So what does this have to do with work? Our flight or fight system and amygdala hijacks can still happen at work. How many times have you found yourself overly anxious about asking a question or making a “dumb” comment? How often have you been terrified of making a mistake? I’d argue that we have these reactions, because our bodies sense fear. In some ways it’s like virtual reality, because we sense fear but the real risk is minimal. I wasn’t actually going to fall hundreds of feet off of a mountain. I could have fallen ½ inch off of a board, but that’s it. Likewise, when it comes to these situations at work, our bodies might think that asking the question, making a comment, or making a mistake might feel like you are going to fall hundreds of feet to your death, but probably not. If we can breathe and use our rational brain to analyze the situation, I believe that we will often see the risk isn’t as great as we thought it was or we will find a way to mitigate that risk as appropriate.

The challenge: Are you letting the fear control you or are you pausing and thinking through the fear to find what the risk really is?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Superhero Lessons Part 2 Green Lantern and Overcoming Fear (4-6-16)

Last week we talked about Batman, The Flash, and knowing where the finish line is before you take off sprinting. This week I want us to look at something else that could get in the way of us reaching the finish line. That thing is FEAR.

Maybe you have heard of the Green Lantern. Green Lantern is basically an intergalactic cop with a power ring that he uses to fight bad guys. The ring is powered by will/grit/determination. This ring allows him to use his imagination to create anything he needs to make to save the day. For example, say he was surrounded by bad guys with guns. He might create a huge shield that blocks all of their bullets. Maybe an airplane is going to crash, so he could create a large hand to catch it. As long as he has the will and the imagination he can virtually do anything.

All superheroes have an arch nemesis. The Green Lantern’s vile villain is Sinestro, a Yellow Lantern (see picture). While Green Lantern is powered by will, Yellow Lanterns like Sinestro are powered by FEAR. The whole idea is that fear is the largest threat to someone’s will to do something. When fear comes into play the Green Lantern loses his will, his imagination, and his power. Green Lantern and Sinestro have clashed time and time again with Green Lantern always finding a way to overcome fear in order to beat Sinestro.

What does an intergalactic cop have to do with work? It all comes down to your willpower versus the fear you face. How often are we excited about a great idea that withers away because fear sets in? How often do we allow fear to chip away at our self-confidence? We become worried the idea won’t work. We become worried that other people might judge us. Before we know it, our imagination, our power, our will has been crushed by fear. We can’t remove fear from our lives, but we can overcome it.

Challenge: How will you overcome fear, so your willpower can make your thoughts a reality?

Bonus Confessions: Things that fill me with fear on a regular basis that I have to find ways to overcome. Maybe we share a few of these in common.

Being a dad-> Am I doing this right? Am I setting the girls up for success? Do I know what I need to know?
Being incompetent in this role-> How long do I get to play the new guy card until people just say I’m incompetent? Am I valuable to anybody?
Sending out my blogs-> Every week I ask myself: Is this any good? Is this weird that I’m sending these out? Do people think I’m arrogant for doing this?
Performing poetry/giving speeches-> I’m good at these things, so I shouldn’t have fear but I still do. All the way up to the point I step on stage I worry about crashing and

burning. Will I forget my words? Will the audience accept something like this? Will people listen? Is this the right message? Will this make me weird in people’s eyes?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons Learned from being a Dad Part 3- Encouragement and Taking Fear Away (8-27-14)

Continuing with the lessons I’ve learned since becoming a parent…

Alice is climbing around on playground equipment. She is climbing on bars and starts to get scared. I don’t pull her off of the equipment. Instead, I tell her, “I’m here. You’re okay. You can do it. Keep climbing.” Then I wait as she climbs step by slow step. Once she reaches the top she throws her hands up triumphantly and yells, “Daddy I did it!” She goes down the slide and climbs up the same bars without hesitation.

As sappy as it sounds, I can’t describe how happy and proud I was of her at that moment. This describes one of my favorite parts of being a dad. I have this mysterious power that enables me to remove fear and replace it with confidence. Giving confidence isn’t just about heaping meaningless praise on a person. It is about being able to authentically show someone that you care and have faith in them.

Think back to a career defining moment. I can think back to a few when I was scared, nervous, anxious, and wondering if I could accomplish something. I would say, “This is pretty big. I don’t know if I can do it.” I can remember how some of my favorite leaders handled this. They sat across from me, looked me in the eye, and said something along the lines of “I’m here for you. I have faith. You can do this. I don’t know how you’ll get it done, but I know that you will.” They would say this with such compassion and sincerity that I couldn’t help but believe them. That one act completely changed my perspective. Then, I’d go to work, step by slow step until I made it.

As I work with others and continue to grow as a leader I want to be able to have the same influence that my favorite leaders have had on me. I want to have that mysterious ability that gives people the power to keep climbing when they are frozen. I want to be able to throw up my hands triumphantly when they reach the top and say, “You did it!”

As a leader, what are you doing to remove fear and replace it with confidence?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry