How will you support and instill confidence in others? (1-26-26)

If you’re in the Midwest, I hope you are surviving the snow. This is a bonus blog. The question for us to reflect on is, “How will I support and instill confidence in others?”

Last week I was invited to speak at and attend the Insights Association CEO Summit. It was a conference filled with insight leaders across various functions and industries. There were companies of all sizes and focus areas. If I’m being honest, I was a bit nervous about speaking there. I’m not a deep technical market research expert. I’m not a CEO level leader. I’m not someone who knows all of the technical ins and outs of every last AI model and offering.

I call my parents the night before I’m supposed to give my talk. I’m on speaker phone with both of them talking about the flight down, the nice weather, etc. I mention that my talk is tomorrow. I start to say that I’m nervous, and before I can fully finish the sentence my mom says, “You were invited for a reason.” It wasn’t some over the top rah-rah moment. It wasn’t overly emotional or mushy. It was a strong direct statement of factual support. My mom repeated herself, “You were invited for a reason.” She was saying, “They wouldn’t invite you if you weren’t good. Whoever invited you felt that you had something worthy to say or they wouldn’t put their neck out. You’ve done good work. You’re more than capable. Just do the thing.” It was a nice confidence boost, and things went well the next day.

What does this have to do with work? I have a memory from early in my career that will always be burned into my memory. I was a young associate, relatively new to my role. Bryan Lapel, who led the function at the time, brought me into a room and said something like, “This is a complicated mess. I’m 100% confident that you will deliver.” He said it in a tone that the outcome was inevitable. It was probably a 30 second conversation. I stepped out of that enclave like, “Get ready world! I’m going to run through some walls now!” Have you ever had a moment like that where a leader instilled that level of confidence in you? Have you ever been able to deliver a moment like that for someone else?

The challenge: How will you support and instill confidence in others?

Andrew Embry

Lesson 4- Standing Strong in the Emotional Fire (11-19-25)

Last week was about the invisible backpack. This week is lesson 4: the importance of standing strong in the emotional fire.

The other day one of my kids was having a really hard time emotionally. If my kid was a dragon, they were spitting fire everywhere. It would have been easy to tell them to just go to their room on their own to sort it out. It would have been easy to tell them to suck it up and stop making it such a big deal. It would have been easy to step away from the situation, so we wouldn’t get sucked into the energy. Instead, my wife and I sat there. As my kid unleashed fire like a dragon, we sat there. We let the fire go around us and we walked through it. We didn’t try to stop the fire. We sat there with them, and when they stopped breathing fire, we sat there and comforted them until they were whole again.

Let’s make some connections. Standing in the midst of the meltdown wasn’t comfortable. It wasn’t pretty. It was exhausting and difficult. It wasn’t where my wife and I wanted to be. It was where my wife and I needed to be. We needed to show them that their fire didn’t scare us. We needed to be there to show that our love is stronger than any feelings/meltdowns/fire they could throw at us. We needed to be there to show that we will always be a safe and firm foundation for them. It’s not like we did anything magic. We just stayed there, softly speaking words of encouragement, reminding them that they are loved and it’s okay to feel strong feelings. For our family, we will always choose to stand strong in the fire. (By the way, watching my wife sit in that fire was one of the most beautiful and strong things I’ve seen. I hope you’re all blessed to have someone like her.)

The challenge: In a world filled with humans who are often scared to allow their vulnerability to show, will you be strong enough to stand in the fire with them? Will you be strong enough for them to lean on?

Bonus- I also wrote a poem inspired by these events. You can check that out here https://www.linkedin.com/posts/andrew-embry-979831b7_love-emotions-dragons-activity-7396885754817384448-Lkfc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop&rcm=ACoAABjcjy0BSioATZ2Tfprhg_c9r0itVMM87PQ

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Making the Most of a Situation (9-17-25)

Last week was about two people being in the same situation and seeing it differently. This week is about making the most of a situation.

Alice was a colicky baby and every night around 6 or 7, they’d spend an hour screaming their lungs out. My wife felt horrible about the inconvenience of having a screaming baby in my parents’ house. My wife also underestimated how weird my dad is. Alice was in the middle of screaming their head off. My dad could have been irritated, but instead he took this as a challenge. My dad decided that this would be a contest between him and Alice to see who was the loudest. He starts being loud too. At first Alice was stunned, and then they roared in defiance. However, my dad was not going to lose. He went all in, making weird faces, funny noises, and wildly gesturing. Alice goes from screaming to laughing and shrieking from pure delight. They keep going to see who can be the loudest and silliest. Soon, everyone in the house is giggling at the absurdity of it all. This became their nightly ritual for the entire time we lived with my parents, and now it’s one of our favorite memories.

Let’s connect some dots. Let’s be honest. If you’ve ever been in a room with a screaming baby, it’s not exactly fun. It would have been easy to be irritated and grumpy. It would have been easy to look at this like a moment to just suffer through. However, my dad decided to turn this into something else. He turned it into a game, which became enjoyable for everybody. Think about yourself for a minute. How often do you allow yourself to be totally stuck in a situation? How often do you allow yourself to become irritated and grumpy at something that isn’t going well? How often do you approach things with a negative mindset, when you have the power to make something different out of the moment?

The challenge: What will you make out of the moments you are given?

Bonus story- If you are thinking my dad has stopped playing weird games like that, you’re wrong. His new favorite game is to make cringeworthy dad jokes that make a teenage Alice roll their eyes. Yes, he is very successful at this. (I wonder where I get it from 😉)

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Same Situation, Different Experiences (9-10-25)

Last week I spent time with my wife, kids, and family up at a camper. We started reminiscing around a bonfire and shared the story of us moving back to Indiana, which inspired this series. This week is about how people can be in the same situation and have different experiences.

Let me set the scene. It’s a stressful whirlwind. Within a few months, we had our first kid, the first grandkid on my side, I got a new job that would move us from Wisconsin to Indiana, and we had to buy a house. To top it off, we had to do this while I worked in Wisconsin and Diane and a few months old Alice went to Indiana for a month to begin house hunting. They lived with my parents, my brother, 2 cats, and a dog. #stress While Diane and Alice are living with my parents, Alice is only a few months old and is being a typical colicky newborn with constant crying, loud screaming, and irregular sleep. #allthethings

When I spoke with Diane on the phone, she was worried that she and Alice were being an annoying burden for the family. From her point of view, all she could see was the screaming, crying, and the disruption in day-to-day schedules for everyone in the house. I told Diane, “I hear you. What you are saying is valid. Also, that is not at all how my parents are experiencing this right now. When I talk to them, they go on and on about how they are so excited and lucky because their first ever grandkid is LIVING WITH THEM. In their eyes, you and Alice can do no wrong. They are so pumped to be able to spend this time with you two and they love being able to snuggle and love on Alice all the time.”

Let’s connect some dots. Everything my wife experienced was true. Everything my parents experienced was true. The thing is that they were both approaching this from a different starting point. This is a classic instance of people being in the same situation and having different experiences. As we go throughout different experiences, it might be worth taking a moment to reflect on the situation, our starting point, and how that might cause us to interpret things one way or another.

The challenge: How will you be more mindful of how you are experiencing situations? Will you remember that people could be experiencing the same situation differently?

Bonus 1- Big thanks to Charlie Wilson and Bryan Lapel for offering me the job and enabling us to come home. I’m forever thankful.

Bonus 2 (cute story)- My family knew I was going for this job, and we also all thought I had a pretty slim chance to get it. Anyway, I had just got off the phone with Charlie where he offered me the role, and I was so excited! I immediately told Diane and was getting ready to tell my dad when he called me. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he just got new tires put on his vehicle, so he’s ready to drive up to Wisconsin a lot and in the winter to see the grandbaby. Nonchalantly I said, “That sounds cool. Wisconsin is a beautiful state. You can drive up here all you want, but I won’t be living here.” Immediately my dad is like, “WHAT!?!?” I told him I got the job and then he’s ecstatic and like, “You better not be messing with me man!” I assure him I’m not and that Diane and I are excited about moving closer to home. I ask my dad to have my mom call me, so I can tell her. Hours go by and I don’t hear from my mom, which I think is weird. Eventually, she calls me, and I share the news with her. She’s ecstatic. Then, she’s getting onto my dad for not having her call sooner, and the poor guy is like, “I kept nudging you to call Andrew, but you were busy and said you’d call when you had time!” lol

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting, Cleaning, and Adapting as a Leader (2-12-25)

Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods. | Life ... This week we are going to kick off a series about lessons I’ve learned from being a dad. This week is about parenting, cleaning the house, and being flexible and adaptable when leading others.

When I was a kid and would help my family clean the house it would look like this. My mom would blast music (usually Prince, Rod Stewart or Alanis Morisette). With the music blaring we would all start jumping in and helping with little direction. When I initially tried this approach with my own kids, it didn’t go so well. In case I’ve never mentioned it, we have some neurodivergence in my house, so cleaning the way I did as a kid is EXTREMELY overwhelming for my kids. The loud music is overstimulating and the lack of clarity on what needs to be done is anxiety inducing. Trying to clean this way would result in everyone being overstimulated, grumpy, and the house not getting clean. #failure

After failing a few times, I needed to reevaluate the situation. At the end of the day, my goals are to get the house clean and to help my kids become more self-sufficient. I’ve learned to be flexible in HOW I achieve those goals. When I clean with my kids, we don’t play music to avoid overstimulation. Also, I create a list of the tasks and add some gamification, so there is clear direction. We don’t clean the house. We save Hyrule! (a nod to The Legend of Zelda video game series) My list might look like, “Beat the Water Temple aka Clean the Bathrooms for 50 points,” or “Straighten up Goron City aka The Kitchen for 20 points.” My kids then methodically work through the list, accomplishing tasks, and checking stuff off until the house is clean. It’s very different from the way I grew up cleaning, but it is still very effective.

Where exactly is this going? As a leader, it’s your job to enable the other people around you to be successful. Often, this means being strict about the goal, but being flexible in HOW to achieve that goal. Did my kids have to clean like I did in order to be successful? No. We found a way that works for them and enabled their success. Think about work. How often has a leader more or less forced you to do something their way, even though it wasn’t the only path to success? What were the consequences of that? When I’ve had those experiences, I’ve often felt disengaged and often saw how more value could have been provided if the leader would have just been a little more open to thinking differently.

The challenge: As a leader are you being adaptable and flexible enough to enable others to be successful?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting and Enduring Lessons (7-31-24)

Last week was about parenting, leadership, and stepping beside someone. This week is about parenting and enduring lessons.

We leave soon for a family trip. The other day I was talking to the kids about the trip and one of them said, “This time we slay monsters, not dragons.” I chuckled. They were referring to something I taught them about 2 years ago when we were preparing to go on a different big trip. Rather than tell them that everything was going to be smooth sailing I told them that we were guaranteed to run into problems, and when we did, we would slay those dragons and move on. Here’s the entry if you’re curious Vacation and Preparing for Dragons (10-5-22) – Striking Matches (home.blog). Beginning tomorrow, we embark on another adventure. Beginning tomorrow, we will be ready to slay some monsters. I’ll make sure I save some for Van Helsing (bonus points if you get that bad joke). (Pic is from Copilot “Create an image of an AI relaxing on vacation on a cruise ship)

What does this have to do with anything? I never would have thought that something I said 2 years ago would stick with them like this. I didn’t think it was anything super special at the time, just a funny way to talk about challenges. It just goes to show the sticking power of the lessons you teach to others, whether you are intentional about teaching those lessons or not. This all makes me curious about what other lessons I’m teaching them that sink in and will last for a long time. It also has me wondering what lessons I’m leaving people I work with.

The challenge: What enduring lessons are you leaving behind?

Bonus 1: Reach out to someone who left an enduring message with you and tell them thanks (assuming it’s a positive one).

Bonus 2: Here is what I hope my enduring lessons are. I hope I teach people it’s okay to show love at work. I hope my colleagues remember that a little positivity and humor go a long way, especially when things are hard. I hope people think of me and then remember to embrace their inner superhero 😉

Bonus 3: This is a parenting thing that works for my family. I am often guilty of moving too fast and being in a rush. My kids have some anxiety to begin with, so me rushing just makes everything worse. To help with this, we created “Team Zero Hurry”. My wife and I tell the kids that we are Team Zero Hurry while we are on vacation, and we are only allowed to be Team Fast if my wife and I say so. Then, the second the kids get anxious about having to be somewhere, we just say, “We’re Team Zero Hurry. We won’t be Team Fast unless X happens. Has X happened? No. Let’s just take our time then.” Then everyone calms down. I know it sounds goofy, but it’s super effective. It’s a great reminder to me to set the tone for the family. It also makes things clear for the kids, because unless X happens we are taking it easy.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Family Values and Culture (3-10-21)

This week we will kick off a series of lessons I’ve learned since becoming a dad. This week is about artwork my wife created and defining the culture you want to have.

The image on the right is art my wife did that captures the key values for our family. It includes things like, “We can do hard things” (grit), “We write worlds” (creativity), “Experiment, fail, and try again” (learning), and “We belong to each other” (love/inclusion). Having clarity on what we value as a family shapes the behaviors we exhibit as parents. For example, we value creativity, so we embrace messiness. If you come to my house you’ll see multiple experiments, a hot mess creative area, a rope swing, a fort, and likely a dance party. We don’t sweat the mess, because we value creativity. One thing we won’t tolerate is giving up when things get difficult. We value grit, so we encourage our daughters to lean into hard things. We spend extra time encouraging them, helping them learn to cope with frustration, and celebrating their progress.

How does this connect with anything? That board summarizes what is important to the culture of our family, and serves as a guide for how we need to behave to support those pillars. In a similar way, when you’re on a team you need to understand what you want the pillars of your culture to be. On top of being clear on the pillars, you need to be clear on what behaviors support that culture, so you can be aware if you are exhibiting those or not. If you are NOT intentional about defining your culture and the corresponding behaviors, culture will still develop. It just won’t evolve into what you want it to be, and in my experience it will become something that doesn’t necessarily reflect you and what you value.

The challenge: Have you taken the time to define what you want the culture of your team to be? Have you taken the time to think through the norms/behaviors that create that culture? How are you and your teammates currently living (or not living) your culture?

Bonus thought- You can apply the same thinking to define your leadership principles as well. In case you’re curious, mine are love, purpose, synergy, and movement. I try to act in act in a way that people know I care deeply about them and the work we do together (love). I stay connected to our greater purpose and also try to help the team understand why we are doing what we are doing for any given project (purpose). I believe we are all superheroes, and I’ll work to leverage the superpowers of others (synergy). Last, we will always find a path forward no matter the obstacles (movement).

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from Being a Dad Part 4 Feel love. Show love. (7-1-15)

This is going to be the final installment in the lessons I’ve learned since becoming a dad and it’s about love.

I knew pretty early on in our relationship that I loved my wife in a way that I had never loved another person. This love continues to grow to this day. I remember when I found out she was pregnant with our first child that I kept wondering how would I ever love another person with as much heart as I put into loving my wife. When Alice was born I quickly learned my heart, that I already thought was full of love, had even more room to share love with this new incredible person in my life.

Time goes by and my wife becomes pregnant with Violet, our second daughter. I kept thinking to myself, “How can I ever love Violet the way I love Alice? How can I have room for that much love in my heart?” I can’t tell you how it happened, but I can tell you that when Violet was born I once again found that I had more capacity for love. Through these experiences I’ve found that love defies physical laws and many things that we have been taught to believe is true. Normally, if you want to have something you need to acquire it. However, love is different. The more love I give away, the more love that comes back to me.

So what does love have to do with work? I try to live each day sharing love. Every high five, compliment, hug, handshake, conversation, etc. is one way of me saying that I love and care about that person. Every transparent bit of honesty, every suggestion I make, any criticism or feedback, I try to do out of love, and I feel that’s the difference between when things go well and they don’t. When that other person knows I care about them and what’s best for them, I can say/do anything that might help them be better. When they don’t know this, even the best of intentions go awry.

The challenge- Feel love. Show love. Spread love.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry