Impostor Syndrome and the Positive Whisper (10-30-24)

This week is about impostor syndrome and listening to positive whispers. I’ve been reflecting quite a bit about everything going on at work, all the challenges, and my attempts to lead through those things. All of that reflecting ultimately crystalized into something. I was in a meeting yesterday, there was great energy, and it’s like I heard a little positive whisper that said, “You’re doing pretty good at this stuff.”

Normally, Impostor Syndrome would catch a whiff of this positive whisper and rush to crush it. However, this time, I didn’t give Impostor Syndrome the chance to snuff out that flame. This time, I sat with the positive whisper for a bit. I shielded the whisper from being snuffed out, and I slowed down to stay with the whisper before rushing off. It was kind of like stepping outside of my body for a second, as the positive whisper kept talking to me, “Andrew, you may not be perfect, but you’re a lot of the things you appreciate from your favorite leaders. You’re challenging the status quo, casting a vision, navigating ambiguity, engaging people, and making trade-offs. You’re doing pretty good at this stuff. Make sure you see that.”

Let’s make some connections. Have you ever had Impostor Syndrome crush your momentum and belief in yourself? It happens to me all the time. I’ll start to have a positive thought like, “I’m doing well,” and then Impostor Syndrome will say, “But you messed up all of these things. Look at that chain of mistakes. They are going to find out you aren’t the real deal.” It wasn’t until I heard the positive whisper that I realized how incredibly deafening and all-consuming Impostor Syndrome can be. Have you ever realized this? We are so quick to allow the Impostor Syndrome to be loud and tear us down. At the same time, we are so slow to protect and encourage the fragile positive whisper. It doesn’t have to be this way. If we are willing to sit with the positive whisper, often that’s enough for it to grow and get through.

The challenge: Will you hear the positive whisper? How can you sit with and encourage the positive whisper?

Bonus: If you don’t hear the positive whisper right now allow me to be that, “You’re an awesome human. You’re doing a nice job of hanging in there. You’re pretty good at this life stuff.”

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

15 Years- Encouraging Strengths in Others (7-13-22)

This will be the final entry in the series about memorable moments throughout my 15-year career. This week is about a moment that led to other moments for me. More specifically, it’s about encouraging strengths we see in others.

Back in my training days, I worked with a gentleman named Bill Fanelli. He was a different cat, always looking for new ways to help people connect and lead from their humanity. I had mentioned to Bill in a 1 on 1 that I was a writer and that I performed poetry. One day he asked me if I’d ever be willing to do some poetry for an experience he created. He was convinced that this approach would engage the audience and open them up to new ways of thinking. I told him yes, because I never thought he’d actually follow through. Then, one day he comes up to me and says, “So I have this day long training for leaders of varying levels across the company. How would you feel about doing some poetry about leadership and building culture?” I nervously agreed, but only because I had promised I would. I wrote a poem that became, “Let’s Build” and I performed it for the room of leaders. Not going to lie, performing poetry in my corporate job was weird, because I never thought that side of me belonged at work. I was wrong. Imagine my surprise when I saw how it moved them. Since then, I’ve been blessed with other opportunities to speak and perform for folks, which still blows my mind and fills my bucket. Beyond the poetry, Bill was one of the initial supporters of my blog and was one of the ones who encouraged me to keep writing. You probably wouldn’t be reading this without him.

What does this have to do with anything? It would be easy to think this story is about me performing poetry, but it’s not. It’s a story about Bill Fanelli. It’s a story about a guy who didn’t just see poetry and blogging, but saw that I had a knack for communicating in a way that could reach people. It’s a story about a guy who saw something in me that I didn’t particularly think to value at the time. It’s a story about a person who saw this strength and coaxed it out of me, and then watched as it flourished and opened other doors for me. Those doors have included speaking at other events, growing the blog, and leveraging my storytelling in marketing and market research roles. As leaders, it is our responsibility to see the strengths inside of others. It is our responsibility to help them see how powerful and impactful they can be.

The challenge: Are you appreciating, bringing out, and leveraging the strengths in others?

Bonus 1: Throughout this series I explored some of memorable moments. You might have noticed the moments weren’t ever really about me. They were about a colleague or supervisor somehow showing that they cared for me or valued me. Never underestimate the power you have to make a positive impact on someone.

Bonus 2: I’ve been blessed to speak/perform at a few events. Here are two of my favorites:

Eli Lilly and Company: Andrew Embry Shares #WeAreLilly Poem – YouTube– The “We Are Lilly” poem. Not going to lie, being asked by the CEO to write/perform poetry was sweet.
Waymakers (poem starts at 3:55 left in the video)- A poem I performed at a WILL event. I had the opportunity to support WILL, show some love and respect for my mom, and I threw down so hard in the poem that halfway through I received mini-standing ovation and had to slow down for a second before I finished. Best response ever! I can still feel that energy.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from Being a Dad Part 8 Learning to Ride a Bike and Cheering Others On (7-10-19)

I hope that you all had a wonderful holiday. In my last entry I mentioned we were going to be done with lessons I’ve learned from being a dad. However, something neat happened over the holiday week, so I have one more story about my daughters. This is about bike riding and cheering others on.

A few weeks ago I shared a story about how my daughter Alice (7) faced her fears and learned how to ride her bike. This was a big deal for her. She had to work hard, and it took hours of her trying and facing her fears before she was able to ride without training wheels. Last week, Violet (5) learned how to ride her bike without training wheels. Violet is more physically gifted than Alice. It probably took about 10 minutes for Violet to get the hang of it. Now, Violet can ride her bike without training wheels and is faster than Alice could ever hope to be. (#ridingabikewhilewearinganinjaturtlehelmetlikeaboss)

We had been praising Alice for riding her bike for 2 weeks. We’d talked about how awesome it was and how proud of her we were. Then, all of a sudden Violet comes through and learns how to do the same thing in a matter of minutes. I assumed Alice was going to be upset when Violet learned how to ride. I assumed Alice was going to be jealous of how easy it came to Violet. I assumed Alice would be irritated that Violet is better than her at something, especially because Violet is 2 years younger. I was wrong. Instead of being upset, Alice encouraged and congratulated Violet. Alice was so excited for her sister, and didn’t care about any of those things I thought she might be concerned about.

What does this have to do with anything? Take the bike riding example above, and imagine yourself as Alice and the other people you know as Violet. How would you react toward “Violet” when they got “the promotion”, “the great opportunity”, “perfected a new skill”, or “got a new job” either before you or faster than you ever did? I don’t know about you, but I’m not always as gracious and encouraging as Alice is. Sometimes I get jealous. Sometimes I see other people get things and my first thought is, “Why not me? Aren’t I as good as them? I’m the one who deserves that.”

What Alice understood is that Violet learning how to ride a bike has nothing to do with Alice learning how to ride a bike. Just because Violet learned how to ride a bike easier and at a younger age, it doesn’t take away the fact that Alice overcame a fear. Also, Alice also knows there are areas in life where things come easier to her than they do with Violet. Because Alice knows these things, she is able to cheer on her sister instead of being consumed by jealousy and bitterness.

The challenge: Will you cheer on or grow jealous of others?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons Learned from being a Dad Part 3- Encouragement and Taking Fear Away (8-27-14)

Continuing with the lessons I’ve learned since becoming a parent…

Alice is climbing around on playground equipment. She is climbing on bars and starts to get scared. I don’t pull her off of the equipment. Instead, I tell her, “I’m here. You’re okay. You can do it. Keep climbing.” Then I wait as she climbs step by slow step. Once she reaches the top she throws her hands up triumphantly and yells, “Daddy I did it!” She goes down the slide and climbs up the same bars without hesitation.

As sappy as it sounds, I can’t describe how happy and proud I was of her at that moment. This describes one of my favorite parts of being a dad. I have this mysterious power that enables me to remove fear and replace it with confidence. Giving confidence isn’t just about heaping meaningless praise on a person. It is about being able to authentically show someone that you care and have faith in them.

Think back to a career defining moment. I can think back to a few when I was scared, nervous, anxious, and wondering if I could accomplish something. I would say, “This is pretty big. I don’t know if I can do it.” I can remember how some of my favorite leaders handled this. They sat across from me, looked me in the eye, and said something along the lines of “I’m here for you. I have faith. You can do this. I don’t know how you’ll get it done, but I know that you will.” They would say this with such compassion and sincerity that I couldn’t help but believe them. That one act completely changed my perspective. Then, I’d go to work, step by slow step until I made it.

As I work with others and continue to grow as a leader I want to be able to have the same influence that my favorite leaders have had on me. I want to have that mysterious ability that gives people the power to keep climbing when they are frozen. I want to be able to throw up my hands triumphantly when they reach the top and say, “You did it!”

As a leader, what are you doing to remove fear and replace it with confidence?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Flying Reindeer and Encouragement (12-4-13)

We made it past Thanksgiving and now we are in full tilt holiday season, complete with all kinds of Christmas specials including How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Frosty the Snowman, and good old Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. It’s Rudolph and a conversation I had a few weeks ago with a colleague about motivating people that has me thinking.

Do you know what Santa and great leaders have in common? They help people believe that they can fly (in Santa’s case, it’s reindeer and not people, but that’s just a small difference).

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I ever have walked into work and said, “Dang, this job is too simple.” In fact, I spend a fair amount of time thinking, “Wait, you’re asking me to do what? Do you realize that you’re sounding a little crazy right now? What you’re asking me to do is so big. I don’t know if I can do that.” I wonder if that’s how Rudolph or any of the other reindeer felt when they were first asked to fly.

The fact is that all of our jobs are complicated and only getting harder. Sooner or later someone is going to look at you and ask you to fly. There will be a moment, and in that instant you’ll jump into the air and soar or you won’t. Part of that moment will be on us, on our belief in ourselves, but part of that moment will be on the person asking you to do something difficult. Have they spent time building you up and giving you a reason to believe that you can fly?

I know this whole thing probably sounds corny, but think about the people you know and work with. There are people in my life who care for me, who inspire me, and who make me better, and then there are people who don’t. The ones who inspire me aren’t always people with fancy titles either. Santa (the historical or North Pole variety) is just an old guy motivated to do something nice for children. He still manages to inspire reindeer to soar through the skies and people to do nice things.

Here’s to helping people believe they can fly.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry