Lesson 4- Standing Strong in the Emotional Fire (11-19-25)

Last week was about the invisible backpack. This week is lesson 4: the importance of standing strong in the emotional fire.

The other day one of my kids was having a really hard time emotionally. If my kid was a dragon, they were spitting fire everywhere. It would have been easy to tell them to just go to their room on their own to sort it out. It would have been easy to tell them to suck it up and stop making it such a big deal. It would have been easy to step away from the situation, so we wouldn’t get sucked into the energy. Instead, my wife and I sat there. As my kid unleashed fire like a dragon, we sat there. We let the fire go around us and we walked through it. We didn’t try to stop the fire. We sat there with them, and when they stopped breathing fire, we sat there and comforted them until they were whole again.

Let’s make some connections. Standing in the midst of the meltdown wasn’t comfortable. It wasn’t pretty. It was exhausting and difficult. It wasn’t where my wife and I wanted to be. It was where my wife and I needed to be. We needed to show them that their fire didn’t scare us. We needed to be there to show that our love is stronger than any feelings/meltdowns/fire they could throw at us. We needed to be there to show that we will always be a safe and firm foundation for them. It’s not like we did anything magic. We just stayed there, softly speaking words of encouragement, reminding them that they are loved and it’s okay to feel strong feelings. For our family, we will always choose to stand strong in the fire. (By the way, watching my wife sit in that fire was one of the most beautiful and strong things I’ve seen. I hope you’re all blessed to have someone like her.)

The challenge: In a world filled with humans who are often scared to allow their vulnerability to show, will you be strong enough to stand in the fire with them? Will you be strong enough for them to lean on?

Bonus- I also wrote a poem inspired by these events. You can check that out here https://www.linkedin.com/posts/andrew-embry-979831b7_love-emotions-dragons-activity-7396885754817384448-Lkfc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop&rcm=ACoAABjcjy0BSioATZ2Tfprhg_c9r0itVMM87PQ

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Be Bold. Be a Dragon. Breathe Fire. (8-5-15)

Last week we talked about having the guts to challenge our assumptions about the way the world works. What happens when that is met with resistance? That’s when we need to be dragons to protect and build up fledgling bold ideas.

We’ve all been there. Someone challenges the status quo with the initial concept for a bold idea, and it gets shot down by people who say things like, “We’ve never done it that way. We do it this way. That would never work.” The idea gets rejected before it even has a chance to be tested. I believe that many people start out with bold ideas but when they are met with resistance, individuals either give up on them or water them down until they aren’t bold anymore. I know that I’ve done this before. Have you?

People give up or water down the idea, because it is “safer” or easier than challenging the status quo. However, as we talked about with the Frogger story, “safe” isn’t exactly safe anymore when time is running out and obstacles are racing around you. The fact is easy doesn’t exactly get the job done anymore. This is why we need to be dragons.

I have this motto, “Be a dragon. Breathe fire.” I say this to psyche myself up when I get ready to share a different idea or do something unique. Here is how this motto connects to our work. Dragons are strong creatures with impenetrable skin that attack with fierce, powerful flames. We have to be the same. We have to have the strength to carry the burden of challenging the status quo and the thick skin to handle criticism, so we don’t fold under initial scrutiny. We have to be brave enough to breathe fire and share the idea in all of its boldness with all of our passion, reason, data, etc. instead of some watered down version. Obviously, after we share the idea we should test it to ensure it’s a good idea and that it will work, but we can’t afford to let it get shot down before it’s even developed.

Now think back to that situation where you saw a bold idea get shot down prematurely. What do you think would have happened if that person would have been a dragon in that situation? Here’s to being bold, strong, and spitting flames.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Mighty Mindsets (1-7-15)

Happy New Year! I hope that you had a wonderful and relaxing break. I spent a lot of time hanging out with my family including my amazing wife and two daughters. Today’s blog entry is inspired by my daughter Alice, who will be 3 in April.

Alice and I were cleaning the house while my wife and Violet napped (best X-mas present ever). Anyway, I asked Alice to remove the couch cushions, so I could vacuum up the stuff and rotate them (yep I’m a little obsessive). She told me that the cushions were too heavy. I told her that I knew she could do it. The next thing I know I hear her whispering to herself. She keeps telling herself, “I am a strong dragon!” and then she pulls the cushions off of the couch and throws them down triumphantly.

It’s a cute moment, but you’re probably wondering what it has to do with anything. This is the time of year when many of us start thinking about our goals for the year and what we hope to accomplish. The thing is, it doesn’t matter how great our well thought out your goals are if you aren’t in the right mindset. It all boils down to whether or not you believe you can achieve these goals. Alice changed her mindset, before she reached her goal.

There is another lesson hidden in this story. When she first came to me, her mindset told her she couldn’t do it. I took a few seconds to encourage her and that was the nudge she needed to change her mindset. The moral of the story is that as leaders we need to nudge people to unlock what is there sometimes. This isn’t telling people fluff. It’s about speaking with honest conviction that you believe in them. It’s amazing how powerful a little belief in somebody else can be. One simple moment that really motivated me last year was when I was talking to a mentor about things that I couldn’t figure out. I felt a little lost and a little like I didn’t know if I could get it done. I was talking to him to get his perspective and he tells me with honest conviction, “Don’t shy away from that. That is your leadership opportunity. Step into it. I know you’ll get it done.” A short and simple conversation that got me refocused and ready to go.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry