Are we investing time and effort in becoming more anti-racist? (5-29-20)

Today Lilly recognizes a day of solidarity to support one another during this time and stand together against injustice and in support of humanity. With this in mind, I’d like to share a bonus blog for the week. We will stick with our finance theme and reflect on investing for long-term goals and investing in becoming more anti-racist.

When I first met with my financial advisor, I explained what the goals are for my family when it comes to investing. One of these goals is to be able to pay for a certain percentage of college for each of my daughters. When I shared this with him he did an analysis to see how I was doing against the goal. When he came back, he told me I wasn’t doing enough. If I really wanted to reach that goal, my family would need to take action and invest more time and resources into the college fund. Since then, I’ve taken action and invested more resources to reach this goal.

What does investing for college have to do with recent injustices? When it comes to my financial goals, it’s really simple. I’m either investing enough energy to achieve them or I’m not. Period. There is NO gray space. Merely thinking about how important it is to save for college isn’t enough. All that matters is whether or not I put enough of my energy toward achieving this goal. This idea of whether or not we are putting enough energy and resources to achieving a goal applies to the recent injustices we have witnessed. If our goal is to create a society where everyone truly is equal, then as individuals we are either investing our time and energy into becoming more anti-racist or we are allowing ourselves to further a racist system. Period.

The recent murders of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, and Breonna Taylor along with Amy Cooper leveraging her white privilege to harm Christian Cooper have continued to demonstrate that there is no such thing as neutral when it comes to racism and matters of race. There is no middle ground. You are either investing the time, effort, and resources to make things better or you are not. Merely thinking that racism is bad isn’t enough. Trying to be colorblind is not okay. Merely thinking that you aren’t racist and wouldn’t commit the same acts isn’t enough. We (and by we I mean primarily white people, because white people are the ones who have the most power to address these issues) need to do better and be better. We say we want an equal society, and if that’s true we need to take action to make that happen.

Challenge: How are you investing your time and effort to make things better? What are you doing to become more anti-racist?

In full vulnerability, I know I can do more and do better, and that’s something I’m continuing to reflect and act on. Resources with suggestions on things you can do

Sending you love, peace, and prayers,

Andrew Embry

Mosaics, Diversity, and Inclusion (4-15-20)

Last week we started a series about art by examining how we can paint over our mistakes. This week is about mosaics, diversity, and inclusion.

Mosaics are beautiful pieces of art that have always fascinated me, because you combine things, but you never blend them. The mosaic is made of several small pieces, and each piece has its own individual integrity, shape, design, color, etc. At the same time, the individual pieces are part of a larger whole. Each individual piece has its own role to play in creating the larger picture. The images in this blog post are of the mosaics my wife made on stepping stones that lead out to our garden. #marriedup

What does this have to do with anything? Mosaics are an example of what true inclusion should look like. A mosaic is made of pieces that maintain their individuality, while also contributing to the larger picture. Mosaics don’t blend. Mosaics don’t require all of the individual pieces to assimilate. Making a mosaic requires the creator to understand the piece and where it can fit in a way to add to an image that is larger and more beautiful than the piece can be on its own. We should all strive for this as we build cultures and teams.

Have you ever been on a great team where you truly felt included? What caused you to feel that way? In my case, I’ve felt this way when people have seen me as the individual I am, valued that, and at the same time helped me see my role in something larger. Those teams and situations always give me joy, engagement, and the fuel I need to get through anything. Have you ever experienced the opposite? I have. I’ve been in situations where my individuality wasn’t valued and where the expectation was to blend in with everything. I’ve been in situations where all of the members on the team were individuals, and we were never part of something. At best this was exhausting and at worst this was often toxic.

The challenge: How will you build teams and culture like a mosaic?

Bonus poem about mosaic making

You are an artist making a mosaic,

the pieces dumped in front of you,

tiles and glass of different colors and shapes.

Handle the pieces carefully,

or they will cut you for your carelessness.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Being Vegetarian and More (2-26-20)

This will be the last in the series about diversity, inclusion, and my wife being a vegetarian. This week is about recognizing that what makes people different is part of them, but not the whole story.

Last summer, Diane and I were with a family and they were grilling. Diane had decided that she wasn’t in the mood for veggie burgers, so she didn’t bring any over. Instead, she was happily enjoying all the other food available, including homemade potato salad which is one of her favorite things ever. Diane is completely content. Then, Bob realizes that he’s grilling burgers and doesn’t have anything to grill for Diane. He mentions it, and Diane says, “I’m great. If I wanted the veggie burgers I would have brought them.” Bob won’t accept this. He keeps going on about how Diane is a vegetarian and now she’s making a sacrifice, since he’s not grilling anything for her and how she should have bought some veggie burgers. He keeps going on and on about this, and it’s awkward. Bob is taking one element of what makes her who she is, and is blowing it way out of proportion. This isn’t the first time Bob has done something like this.

Where is this going? My wife is a vegetarian. This is something that has an impact on her life. At the same time, being a vegetarian is not all she is. She’s a wife, a mom, a daughter, a person who loves kids, a writer, a painter, a gardener, a cook, a reader, and so many other things. If you view my wife as only one element of what makes here who she is, then you’re doing her a disservice. Doing this takes a beautiful and complex individual and turns her into a one dimensional being. If we step away from my wife being a vegetarian, I feel the idea applies to other elements of diversity. Does your gender/race/ethnicity/sexual orientation/other element of diversity shape who you are? Yes. Do they play a large role in shaping who you are? Most definitely. Are any of those individual elements the only thing that makes you who you are? No. As people we are shaped by our elements of diversity, AND we are also greater than the sum of those individual parts.

The challenge: To be truly inclusive, we need to be able to see, recognize, and appreciate how people’s elements of diversity shape them, while at the same time seeing that they are so much more than those individual things. We need to be willing to put in the effort to embrace the WHOLE person.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Being Curious, Embracing Differences, and the Impossible Burger (2-25-20)

Last week was about how being “the other” can often lead to bias and judgment. This week is about how you can approach “the other” from a place of curiosity and eventually embrace them. When my wife first became vegetarian some people were judgmental, some were apathetic, but my dad was curious. He had a genuine interest and talked to Diane about what she ate, how she got her protein, if the veggie burgers had got any better since he had tried them years ago, and other questions. On top of that, when Diane cooked my dad was curious enough to try things, and he was totally surprised to find out that he likes tofu and other vegetarian dishes.

The other day my dad went out to eat by himself and had an Impossible Burger, a meatless burger. When he told me this, my jaw dropped and hit the ground so hard it broke in three places. After I got over the shock I asked him why he tried it. He said something like, “Well, the stuff that Diane fixes is pretty good. This seemed like it was worth trying. It was so good that if I went back there, I’d get the Impossible Burger again.” My dad went to a burger place on his own and got the most vegetarian thing he could get… and he enjoyed it. This was not the same guy I grew up with. He had definitely changed. His curiosity led him to try something and now he was embracing something different.

You might be wondering where this is going. When you encounter diversity, you can respond in 1 of 3 ways. You can be judgmental, apathetic, or genuinely curious. Think about work. When you have been different how often have people responded to you in each of those three ways? How did you feel when people responded to you in each of those ways?

As we explored last week, all too often when we meet someone who isn’t like us and who does things differently than us, our first instinct is to be judgmental. Our first instinct is to say, “That’s not right. That’s not the way it’s done.” If we aren’t judgmental, we are often apathetic. We look and say, “They’re different and that’s okay,” and then we stop there. However, sometimes, we begin with genuine curiosity and we move to the point where we embrace the differences. These are the times that we transform ourselves and the relationships we have with others. These are the times when we grow.

The challenge: When you encounter differences will you brave enough to be genuinely curious?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

The Cost of Being Different Part 1 Diversity, Inclusion, and the Cost of Great Pizza (7-6-16)

This week we will kick off a new series I’m calling “The Cost of Being Different.” We’ll start by thinking about diversity, inclusion, and the cost of great pizza.

How many different kinds of pizza have you had in your life? Include anything from middle school pizza to frozen to chains to local restaurants. Now the important question. How many of those experiences/pizzas have been amazing? I’ve probably had hundreds of pizzas, but if I had to pick ones that get me really excited I can only think of a handful of places. This is surprising to me, because at face value making pizza looks pretty simple. You make some dough, add sauce, add cheese, put on toppings, and bake it until it’s done. Anybody can make pizza. If it’s so simple, why isn’t all pizza amazing?

Maybe creating something as simple as pizza isn’t all that easy. Maybe it’s a lot more complicated. Maybe it takes more concentration, focus, and skill then I’d care to admit. First, there’s the dough. It’s about making a crust that isn’t too floury or too doughy and can support the weight of the pizza. Then, there’s the sauce, which must be the perfect blend of herbs and spices to simultaneously pull all of the flavors together and accentuate them. There are the toppings themselves, where it’s important to think about how each topping will impact the flavors of the others. I want to eat something that feels pulled together and not just a heaping pound of stuff. Finally, there’s the cheese that has to be melted enough to hold everything together, but not too much where it’s runny or too hard where it ruins the pizza. Great pizza requires the best ingredients cooked in the best way. Great pizza isn’t cheap. The best pizza costs more in terms of the extra time, effort, and energy to ensure they create something extraordinary.

How does this connect with diversity, inclusion, and work? We sometimes talk about diversity and inclusion like it is as simple as pizza. All we have to do is put a bunch of different people in a room and then magically it will all come together. It doesn’t work like that. It’s not that easy. It’s not that cheap. It costs more than that. It costs and requires attention and people being intentional. It requires a leader who makes inclusion part of the foundation of the team (dough). It needs a culture that brings out the best in each other (sauce). It requires people who can be great on their own who are also willing to be part of something larger (toppings). It needs a purpose that holds everything together just right (cheese).

Think about the teams/groups you’ve been part of. How many of them have been magical? How many are just okay? How many have been subpar? None of this happens by accident. This all happens because of the things we do or do not do. Creating an inclusive culture isn’t cheap. Creating an inclusive culture costs more. It costs more in terms of time, effort, and energy. An inclusive culture pays off with better teams.

The challenge: What are you doing to make your team (your pizza) extraordinary?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Tints, Lenses, and Inclusion (1-20-16)

Last week we talked a little bit about learning skills from each other. This week I want us to shift gears and think about learning about each other and the lenses from which we view the world. This week’s blog was inspired by some conversations I’ve had with folks lately that have stretched my thinking and an article about photography. I’d encourage you to read the article and watch the short video by clicking Here.

Take a look at the three pictures of my two year old daughter Violet. One might say that all of the pictures are the same, but that’s not exactly correct. Each image has its own tint to it. Pretend for a moment that you grew up with your eyes always seeing the world in one of these tints. For example, everything you saw always had a shade of green like the 1st picture. Now let’s pretend that I always saw things with a yellow tint. How would these changes impact the way we viewed and experienced the world?

What does this have to do with anything? As you look at these images you know that I’ve used a computer to make this effect happen. You can see all three tints and how they are impacting the image. In real life, these differences aren’t as easy to identify and understand. As we go through life, the lens we experience the world through evolves based on who we are and what we experience. In short, our diversity shapes how we view and experience our world.

I could be described as a white, male, husband, dad, son, straight, middle class, Indiana native, works outside the home, poet, and superhero lover. Would you describe yourself the same way? Probably not, and that’s the point. We each have a unique combination of dimensions that shape us, the way we see the world, and how we respond to what life throws at us. The challenge in all of this is that it’s easy to become so accustomed to viewing the world through your lens that you lose awareness of how your lens impacts the way you experience the world. It’s also easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everyone experiences the world the same as you do. I know that I’ve made these mistakes on several occasions and it was an honest conversation, a situation presented in a different light, or a new experience (like becoming a dad to two girls) that challenged my perspectives and made me view the world in a more holistic way.

True inclusion begins with understanding each other, and if we want to truly understand and learn from each other we have to be willing to step back from the lens we always use and actively search to see new perspectives. How are you challenging your day to day lens? What are you doing to see how others experience the world?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Rudolph and “Neutral” Characters (12-9-15)

My promise to myself is to keep it as real as I can with my blogs. I’m going to share something I’ve been thinking about for a few months now. I acknowledge this is may be viewed as a little sharp and heavy on the satire. My hope is that this week’s blog will make you stop and think about things a little differently.

You may be familiar with the story of Rudolph. On the surface, it’s a cute Claymation story about a misfit who becomes a hero. If you look a little deeper, you’ll see something else. Rudolph was born different and encouraged to hide what made him different. He was intentionally mocked by some reindeer. There are “neutral” characters also. These are the ones who weren’t making fun of or actively supporting Rudolph. Rudolph ran away, felt he needed to prove himself and goes on a dangerous adventure to save his friends. Rudolph returned to Santa’s workshop and Santa needed him because it is so foggy outside. As a result of his utility and his bravery, people finally accepted Rudolph.

Here is why this story is so messed up. It makes sense to focus on praising Rudolph for being brave and overcoming adversity. However, why do we let the other characters off the hook? Why was the bad behavior of the reindeer that were intentionally cruel to Rudolph tolerated for so long? Why did they have to wait for Rudolph to prove himself before accepting him? What was their character evolution like? Do those “neutral” characters realize that their neutrality is, or can be, destructive? Why are they neutral? Do they not want to get involved? Do they not know how to get involved? Are they oblivious to what is going on? Why don’t we expect these “neutral” characters to do better?

Here is the connection to our work. I feel that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is a lesson in diversity and inclusion. The story puts all of the pressure on Rudolph to grow as a character and glosses over how the other characters need to develop and grow. Read the paragraph again that describes the Rudolph story and wherever it says “Rudolph” replace that with a name and an aspect of diversity: “Bob my African American co-worker,” “Rhys my autistic nephew,” “Erica my Latino friend,” “Joe my LGBT colleague,” “Angela a working mother,” “Mike a Jewish neighbor.” It’s the same story. ______ (insert name) is intentionally ostracized by some people who are not inclusive, potentially unaware, or simply don’t care. There are “neutral” people who don’t actively ostracize, but they don’t do anything to support either. The pressure is on ______ to prove themselves and if they do, all those people who said ______ was not good says, “I guess ______ and that group of people ______ represents isn’t so bad.”

Confession: I’ve been the “neutral” person on different occasions and continue to make that mistake sometimes. I’ve been the one oblivious to how the frivolous use of the phrase, “That’s gay” hurt LGBT friends of mine. I’ve been the guy who didn’t know how to talk about the social issues played out in the media and even in our workplace concerning African American community throughout the year… so my awkward silence may have told people I care about that I don’t care about them. I’ve listened to friends without kids confess that they feel pressured to put in extra hours because they didn’t have kids to go home to, and I never did anything to help them understand their time is as valuable as any parents’. I’ve screwed up on several occasions and know I’ll continue to make mistakes.

Here’s to doing better. Sometimes being intentional about doing better means looking back to see what went wrong, why, and how we move forward in a different way. Here’s to rethinking “neutral” in whatever Rudolph story we have witnessed in the past, are involved in right now, or will be part of in the future.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Inclusion and being Intentional (9-16-15)

This is going to be the last entry on the topics of inclusion, diversity, and superpowerment 😉 I want to pull all of these themes we have been discussing together with an analogy and a gut check.

Imagine for a minute that you are a sales representative. You are getting ready to call on a customer and I ask you what you are trying to accomplish with this customer. Now imagine you didn’t have an answer. Instead, you told me that you were just going to go in there and wing it. How good of a sales representative do you think you’d be?

Let’s pretend for a moment that you are a marketer. I ask you what you are trying to accomplish with your customers. You tell me that you have identified three key things that customers need to believe in order to feel comfortable enough to use our product. Then I ask you how you are going to get them to understand those things and feel that way. You tell me you’re not sure and that you’re just going to put some tactics through to see what happens. How good of a marketer would you be?

Now let’s say you’re an employee. You tell me that diversity and inclusion are really important to you. If I asked you how you want people to feel who come in contact with you, could you give me a specific answer? If I asked you how you intended on making them feel that way, would you have a strategy? Be honest.

Over the past few weeks we’ve talked about diversity vs. inclusion, superpowerment, overcoming biases through action, and making the time to have these conversations. We’ve also talked about the “silent questions” we are always asking like, “Can I be myself with this person? Can I trust this person?” The underlying theme is that the only way we can make progress in these areas is by being very intentional. We have to take the time and spend the effort thinking through how we want people to feel and what we can do to help them feel this way.

The challenge- How intentional are you?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Inclusion, Safety, and Street Lights (9-9-15)

Last week was all about being aware of your biases, and then taking action. This week is also about taking action, but in a different context. This week’s entry is inspired by a conversation I had with a colleague.

Imagine for a moment that you are standing in the middle of an intersection at night and you need to pick which road you would feel the safest traveling on. You have 4 different directions you can take. To the north is pure darkness. You can’t even see a road. To the east there are street lamps, and sometimes they flicker on for a few seconds before the road goes dark again. To the south the street lights are all on, so you can see pretty well. To the west all of the street lights are on and you see a friend of yours who is calling you saying, “Come on. We’ll walk there together.” Which one do you choose?

You’re probably wondering what this has to do with anything. What if in the above situation you weren’t choosing a road, but you were choosing which person you would be willing to have a conversation with about diversity and inclusion topics? To the north the dark street is the person who seals off their personal self at work. To the east the flickering lamps are the people who show that they might be open, but they don’t give you enough to know for sure. To the south the well-lit street is the person who brings themselves to work and you are sure that it would be safe to have this conversation with them. To the west, the well-lit street with the friend is the individual who takes it a step further and puts in the effort to set aside time for them to have conversations with you. Which do you choose?

Recently I had a conversation with a colleague and he talked about how one of the biggest barriers to advancing in the realm of diversity and inclusion is that we don’t talk enough about these concepts with each other. We often don’t talk about these concepts, because we aren’t sure who is open to having the conversation and when we can have the conversation during the course of our regular work day. We might have all of this stuff on our minds, but bringing it up in the midst of other business meetings and during the rush of our day would feel out of place and not give the topics the time and attention they require. If we want this to change we need to find a way to create opportunities to have these conversations and we need to do this by making it easier for people to walk toward us and with us. If we are going to be open to having these conversations we need to be able to demonstrate this through our words and our actions.

Which path are you in the analogy? I would hope that people would see me as the south path. I hope that I’m giving all of the signals that tell people I’m open. At the same time, I recognize that I need to do better. I need to put in the work to be the welcoming west path. I can make the time to talk with people about these concepts to learn more and take more action to make things better. The challenge- How are you making yourself easier to walk toward?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Hair on Fire and Conversations about Bias (9-2-15)

Last week we talked about inclusion and superpowerment. This week we are going to look at bias, which is one of the biggest barriers we face. Pretend for a moment that you are looking in the mirror and have just uncovered your hair is on fire. What do you do? Option 1- Talk about it. Option 2- Take action to put the fire out. Which option do you choose?

I know this is a little over the top, but this is the way I feel we treat conversations about bias. We tell everyone it’s okay that we have biases. Then, we try to identify some of our biases and where they come from, and then the conversation abruptly stops. In other words, we identify we are on fire, talk about how it happened, but then we never figure out how we are going to put the fire out. Mirror moment. Be honest with yourself. What is a bias you have and what are you DOING to fight that bias? Below is my example.

I am biased against people who don’t talk/contribute much during meetings. I figure that I’m comfortable speaking up and sharing ideas, so everyone else should be. If you aren’t talking at meetings you aren’t prepared or you lack confidence. I know this rationale isn’t true. There are a plethora of reasons why people might not speak up during meetings. They might be more introverted or want the time to process alone. They might not want to be “that guy/gal” who just repeats what other people say. Maybe they don’t feel safe for a variety of reasons. Bottom line, my bias is wrong.

How I fight this (lessons learned from other leaders, Six Sigma, The Six Thinking Hats, and other articles)

Keep reminding myself that just because I’m comfortable doesn’t mean everyone else is.
If I’m leading the meeting I send out the questions we are going to tackle ahead of time. This gives everyone a chance to process on their own.
I changed the way I run brainstorming sessions.

I used to brainstorm entirely unstructured. We would bring up ideas, kill them, and move on. This was fine with me, but it didn’t lead to the superpowerment of others. Now I do more of a Six Sigma structure. First, all we do is brainstorm ideas. This is about quantity, not quality. I don’t let anyone judge the ideas. If people try to judge ideas, I remind them that we aren’t doing this right now 😉 This makes things safer, because there is no right or wrong at this point. Then we affinitize. Finally we prioritize and weigh the ideas. Combine this with the above bullets, and I believe this process create a safer environment and empowers people to participate.

I’ve found that doing a combination of the above things, paying better attention to body language, and being a better listener have helped us have better sessions and helped me fight a bias I have. Your hair is on fire. What’s your bias and what are you DOING to fight it?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry