Tag: context

Marriage, Context, and Interpretation (6-28-23)

Our last entry was about marriage and showing support.  This week is about marriage, context, and interpretation.

If I told you that you could stop by any time, what would that mean to you?  Is it a nice thing to say?  Is it telling you that you can stop by, but only if you call first?  Is it an open invitation?  Earlier when Diane and I were dating, I found out that “stop by any time” could mean different things based on how you grew up.  The short version is that Diane had once told my dad he could stop by any time.  Months later, he dropped by her college apartment without giving her any heads up he was coming.  He called her from the parking lot, asked if she was home, and then said he had brought groceries for her and her roommates.  Luckily, she was home at the time.  After doing a 2-minute frantic clean, she invited my dad to hang out for a bit.  (Pic of my parents at our wedding.  Yes, I’m a clone of my dad.)

Diane called me later to ask why my dad would do something so weird.  I asked her to explain why this was so weird for her and she told me that growing up, she would have NEVER randomly dropped in on anyone and her family would have hated it if anyone did that to them.  I now understood the disconnect, so I shared how we were the hang out house growing up and if we told people to stop by any time that meant they were invited to stop by ANY time.  We always had people coming and going without any hint they’d be over, and it wasn’t a big deal.  When Diane told my dad he could drop by any time, he had just taken her up on that offer like my friends had growing up.  Sharing this context helped each other know where they were coming from, so we could figure out how to be on the same page moving forward. 

What does this have to do with anything?  Think about work for a minute.  How often have you thought you were on the same page and then the other person was in a totally different book?  In these situations, it’s not always that the other person was wrong.  It’s that they were able to draw different conclusions based on their context and surroundings.  At those junctures, it’s important to slow down the conversation to figure out why there is a disconnect and figure out how to move forward.

The challenge: How are you being intentional about understanding where people are coming from and finding ways to move forward together?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Translating, Building Context, and Pokémon (4-29-15)

Last week we talked about the need to translate initiatives and ideas for the individuals that you are leading and influencing.  This week, we will dig a little deeper into that concept by looking at how translation is difficult because everyone is always building their own context.

A few years ago I performed a poem called “Who Protects the Pocket Monsters?”  The phrase “pocket monster” is kind of an English translation of the word Pokémon.  Pokémon are those creatures that you catch with the pokeballs and then you make them battle each other.  The poem talks about capturing Pokémon and having them fight against each other.  If you want to hear the poem, take 2 minutes and listen to the attachment.

You might be wondering why I’m sharing a story about a Pokémon poem.  It’s because something really interesting happened after I performed the poem.  People kept coming up to me after the poem to tell what they thought the poem meant.  No one had the same answer, and no one mentioned Pokémon.  Some people told me the poem was about protecting endangered animals.  One guy told me it was about the cruelty of the whaling industry.  Some folks told me it was a poem that exposed the horrors of war.  Others told me it was a social commentary about Mike Vick and dog fighting.  Some talked about how the poem was about reflecting the violence we broadcast in our society.  The emcee of the event actually told the crowd that he thought the poem was about people’s souls being crushed by corporate America.

The thing is that they were all right in some degree.  Everyone in that room had been building context their entire lives, so when they all heard the same poem they heard different messages.  In this case, the fact that they all took away different messages didn’t matter, because I just wanted them all to connect to the poem.  However, imagine how bad it would have been if I would have needed the crowd to take away the same message.

This made me think of translating as a leader.  One of the biggest barriers to leading and keeping people on the same page is that everyone is always creating their own context.  Their context causes them to view messages in ways unique to them.  For example, Sue believes that change is a good thing and Darlene thinks change is scary.  These attitudes will color anything a leader says about change.  The challenge then becomes not only translating the message you want to communicate, but always restating and reframing the context to keep everyone on the same page.

When you communicate how often are you building context before you have a dialogue or share your message?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry