Making the Most of a Situation (9-17-25)

Last week was about two people being in the same situation and seeing it differently. This week is about making the most of a situation.

Alice was a colicky baby and every night around 6 or 7, they’d spend an hour screaming their lungs out. My wife felt horrible about the inconvenience of having a screaming baby in my parents’ house. My wife also underestimated how weird my dad is. Alice was in the middle of screaming their head off. My dad could have been irritated, but instead he took this as a challenge. My dad decided that this would be a contest between him and Alice to see who was the loudest. He starts being loud too. At first Alice was stunned, and then they roared in defiance. However, my dad was not going to lose. He went all in, making weird faces, funny noises, and wildly gesturing. Alice goes from screaming to laughing and shrieking from pure delight. They keep going to see who can be the loudest and silliest. Soon, everyone in the house is giggling at the absurdity of it all. This became their nightly ritual for the entire time we lived with my parents, and now it’s one of our favorite memories.

Let’s connect some dots. Let’s be honest. If you’ve ever been in a room with a screaming baby, it’s not exactly fun. It would have been easy to be irritated and grumpy. It would have been easy to look at this like a moment to just suffer through. However, my dad decided to turn this into something else. He turned it into a game, which became enjoyable for everybody. Think about yourself for a minute. How often do you allow yourself to be totally stuck in a situation? How often do you allow yourself to become irritated and grumpy at something that isn’t going well? How often do you approach things with a negative mindset, when you have the power to make something different out of the moment?

The challenge: What will you make out of the moments you are given?

Bonus story- If you are thinking my dad has stopped playing weird games like that, you’re wrong. His new favorite game is to make cringeworthy dad jokes that make a teenage Alice roll their eyes. Yes, he is very successful at this. (I wonder where I get it from 😉)

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting and the Power of Being Kind and Caring (3-5-25)

Our last entry was about little signs of support. This week is about parenting and the power of being caring and kind.

Last week, Alice (almost 13) was having a tough time. I talked to her a bit about it. Later that night, I heard Alice telling my wife how I had been so helpful to her. My heart swelled when I heard her say that. If I’m entirely honest, I have no idea what I did. I can’t think of any special tactic or some magic question or phrase I used. Instead, Alice shared, “He was so caring and kind.”

What does this have to do with anything? Yesterday, was the first day of a market research supplier partner conference. I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in years. We had worked together on a few things when she first joined her company, and then I hadn’t crossed paths with her too much since. I was so excited to see her and how far she had come in her career. Then, she looked at me and said something like, “You may not even know this, but you were like an important part of my early career.” I was shocked. I had no clue I had such an impact on her. If I’m entirely honest, I have no idea what I did that could have made her feel that way. I can’t think of any special nuggets I shared with her. I don’t remember imparting any specific wisdom. I can’t think of any secret market research techniques I showed her. Instead, she went on to explain how I was caring and kind when she started out, and that made all the difference.

Think about the people who have had a positive impact on you in in your career. If I asked you to explain what specifically they did, you might struggle. However, I bet for all of them you would say that they cared about you and were kind. Those two simple things are so powerful. Those two simple things always matter.

The challenge- In a world where it is easy to be uncaring and cruel, will you have the strength to be caring and kind?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting and Being Okay Joining the Failure Club (7-17-24)

Last week was about flumping. This week is about facing challenges, being human, and being okay with joining the failure club.

Recently, Alice played The Legend of Zelda A Link to the Past, which originally came out for Super Nintendo. She struggled quite a bit when she fought Ganon, the final boss, and as a result she became overstimulated and incredibly frustrated. I asked her to pause for a second to catch her breath, and then I asked her what was going on. Exasperated, she told me that she kept missing Ganon with her sword and how she kept screwing up. Reading in between the lines, I could see that she felt like a total failure and that she was the only one to make mistakes like this.

After hearing this I started a funny rant that went like this, “Congratulations! You are now a member of the ‘I missed Ganon with my sword’ club. Anyone who has ever played this game and made it this far is a member of that club. In fact, not only am I a member, but I’m the president of the club. If you give me a few minutes, I’ll even go and stamp your membership card.” Alice busted out laughing. My funny rant made her realize that she wasn’t uniquely a failure. It made her realize that EVERYONE has been in the same boat as her. Once she realized this, she wasn’t as frustrated. She defeated Ganon and saved Hyrule shortly after.

What does this have to do with anything? When you fail at something, do you ever feel like you are alone? Do you ever feel like you must suck or be a horrible person? I know I do. If you’ve ever failed, I’d like to take a moment to welcome you to the “I failed, which makes me human” club.Anyone who has ever lived is a member of this club. If you want, I can even stamp your membership card and give you a sticker 😉 All kidding aside, we are all miraculously flawed and beautiful humans. None of us are ever truly alone in our failures and mistakes. Somewhere there is a larger club with thousands, millions, and even billions of people who have been through something similar. You are never alone. Take solace and strength from that.

The challenge: How will you embrace your membership in the “I’m a messy human club”?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting, Obstacle Course Races, and Tailoring Support (6-19-24)

Last week was about Alice’s wisdom, “Have a day you can be proud of.” This week is a story about parenting, obstacle course racing, and tailoring support. Shout out to Mud Run – Hollis Adams for putting on such a fabulous family friendly event.

On Saturday, Alice joined me for her first ever obstacle course race. To say that she was nervous would be a major understatement. I told her it was okay to be nervous, and that I’d be there beside her. I explained that I wasn’t going to swoop in and do the obstacles for her, but I would be there to help her if she needed it. Sometimes, helping her looked like me giving her advice on how to attempt an obstacle. Sometimes, support looked like me giving her a boost, so she could get her footing while climbing a muddy creek bank. Sometimes, support looked like me saying, “I know you’re scared because you’re on top of this tall wall. You can still do this. I’m here. Just swing your leg over.” Sometimes, support looked like me just cheering her on and high fiving her for conquering an obstacle. By the end of the race, we had achieved our goals, and Alice was so excited and proud of herself. I was super pumped too! (The picture on the right is out before picture. The after picture is at the bottom).

What does this have to do with anything? There were several times where Alice was nervous or flat out scared. It would have been EASY for me to do all the work for her, but that would have robbed her of a chance to grow and see what she was capable of. Instead of doing it for her, I helped and offered support. That support took different forms based on HER needs in that specific moment. Now think about work for a minute. The best leaders I ever had weren’t the ones who swooped in and saved me from a challenge. The best leaders I ever had were the ones who knew how to tailor their support to the situation. Sometimes, I needed explicit direction, because I was lost. Sometimes, I needed a thought partner to challenge my assumptions. Sometimes, I just needed someone to say, “I trust you. Go get’em!”

The challenge: How will you tailor the coaching and support you give to people?

Bonus lesson- I mentioned that Alice was nervous about the race. In particular, she was worried about what would happen if she wasn’t strong enough to handle an obstacle. She’s a planner and needed to know how things would work out. I needed her to trust that I was strong and able to help her in any situation. Here’s what I did. I came home after my 20 miles of racing, and said, “I did 20 miles of racing yesterday. I’m at my weakest and most tired point. I need you to know that even now, I’m strong enough to support you. I want you to know that I’ve helped boost and lift people who are my size, so you’ll be easy. We are going to practice, so you know how this will work.” From there, we practiced me giving her boosts and lifting her up. I even had her sit on my shoulders while I squatted her for reps. I walked around the house with her on my shoulders, so she knew I could carry her. I know this all sounds ridiculous, but those actions showed her that she could trust my strength. She realized that if I was able to do that when I was tired and weak, I’d be even better when I was rested up for our race. As a leader, I’m not asking you to pick up people and squat them for reps (I’m pretty sure HR would frown on that 😉). I am asking you to consider what you could do to inspire trust in the people you lead.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting Lessons- “Have a day you can be proud of.” (6-12-24)

This week we will kick off a series about lessons I’ve learned being a parent. This entry contains some deep wisdom from Alice (12) about having a day you can be proud of.

A couple of months ago I was getting ready to leave for the office and I told the kids, “Have a good day!” Alice responded with, “Have a day you can be proud of.” I paused for a minute and said, “That’s different. Never heard that one before.” Alice then started dropping knowledge. She explained that a lot of things could happen that might make the day good or bad, but I could choose how to handle those things and how I handled them could make me proud of myself. Since then, “Have a day you can be proud of,” has become Alice’s parting phrase, and it’s stuck with me ever since.

What does this have to do with anything? At its core, Alice’s insight is that we can CHOOSE how to respond to things and that makes all the difference. The day might end up being good or the day might end up being bad. However, you have the POWER to ensure it’s a day you feel proud of. It might rain all day, and you can choose to dance in that rain instead of grumbling. You might get blindsided by challenges, and you can choose to lean into the situation instead of running away. You might get knocked down, and you can choose to get back up instead of surrendering. There is so much power in how you choose to respond.

The challenge: What will you do to ensure you have a day you can be proud of?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lego Jeeps and Seeing More Than Imperfections (4-6-22)

This week we are going to start a series about lessons I’ve learned being a dad. We’ll start with building Lego Jeeps and seeing more than imperfections.

Alice (10) loves Legos. She’s built all kinds of cool things over the years. For Christmas she received a set to build a Jeep. The set had hundreds of pieces and was pretty tricky to put together. She basically locked herself in her room for a couple of days and didn’t come out until it was completed Alice was so excited and proud of herself. She rushed downstairs to show me. Now, I’m not proud of what I’m about to say. The first thing I did when I saw it was comment on how one of the wheels wasn’t right. That’s right. I ignored her enthusiasm. I ignored how hard she worked. I ignored that she managed to do something very difficult 99% correctly. Instead, I focused on the 1 thing she missed. Not going to lie, it kind of crushed her a bit, and then I was sad because I made her feel that way. After I realized what I had done, I apologized and switched gears to make sure she understood how excited and proud of her I was. After she understood that, we worked together to rebuild the wheel. By the end of the conversation, she felt better than when I initially crushed her heart.

What does this have to do with anything? Have you ever been Alice at work? I know I have. I’ve had things that I’ve worked on, been super excited about, and then brought them to someone only to have them point out all the flaws without acknowledging any of the effort that went into this. When this happened, I felt crushed. I felt like I hadn’t been seen. It also made me wonder if I really wanted to share things with that person again if they were going to crush it right away. To be clear, I’m not saying we should avoid giving criticism. What I think we can do a better job of is seeing the progress and effort vs. only focusing on imperfections. If we can recognize the initial effort and progress first, then I think it opens us up to have a more honest and meaningful conversation about where we can make progress and address flaws.

The challenge: How can we better balance recognizing progress vs. focusing on imperfections?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Noticing, Taking Action, and Creating Gay Video Game Characters (8-5-20)

Happy Wednesday,

This will be the last entry in our series about diversity and inclusion related topic. This week is about noticing something is off and taking action.

Recently, I’ve been playing a video game with Alice (8) called The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword. The game follows the main character, Link, as he defeats bad guys to save Zelda. In this version of The Legend of Zelda, Link has a crush on Zelda. While we have been playing this game, Alice has also been playing Harvest Moon, a farming game where you can grow crops, raise livestock, get married, and start a family. A couple of weeks ago, Alice announced she was going to create her own “video game”. She used beads and a hot iron to create characters and supplies (see pic). After showing me these materials, she told me about the game. She proudly explained, “My version of Zelda is different than the Zelda we played and different from other video games I’ve played. First of all, in this game Zelda is the hero and fights bad guys with Link. Also, in this game if you’re Zelda and want to get married you can marry a boy or you can marry a girl if you want to be gay. You know dad, in most games like Harvest Moon, you can’t be gay.”

What does this have to do with diversity and inclusion? The above story is about Alice noticing that something isn’t quite right, and then taking action to fix it. Alice may not have the vocabulary to express that it is sexist beliefs and tropes that result in the majority of action heroes in video games being male. What she can see though is that there should be more representation and that a female character is just as capable of fighting bad guys as a male character. Alice may not understand all of the biases against people because of their sexual orientation or the fact that gay marriage was illegal until a few years ago. She does know what love looks like, and she understands if that love happens between a man and a woman or two men or two women it’s all good. She does see that video games often don’t allow the representation of gay couples, and that their love is worth celebrating as much as straight couples. She sees all these things, and then makes a game where the girl is the hero and you can be gay.

In a similar way, we can look around at our world and realize that things aren’t right. If we open our eyes, we can see the discrimination that is overt and also woven into the fabric of our society. Once we see those things, we have the power and responsibility to change them. Alice is trying to change things by taking the small step to make her games more inclusive, because that is what is in her sphere of influence. If you look at your sphere of influence, you likely can enact change for the better too.

The challenge- What do you see that is off in the world? What will you change about the world around you in your sphere of influence?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Painting and Making Mistakes (4-8-20)

This week I’d like to tell one more story about my daughters and transition us into a series inspired by art. This week is about painting and making mistakes.

The picture is of Alice holding a painting she did on her own for a 2^nd grade project. You probably can’t tell looking at the picture, but she initially made a mistake on the eyes. When she realized her mistake, she got upset with herself and was convinced that she had ruined the painting. I took her aside explained to her that when people examine paintings, even some of the most famous paintings in the world, that if they look beyond the top layer of paint they can see where the artist initially made a mistake. They can see where the artist recovered and painted over their mistake, and unless you had the right equipment, you’d never know an error was made in the first place. I told her she could just paint over her mistake, and the painting would turn out just fine.

What does this have to do with anything? I don’t know about you, but I can be just like Alice sometimes. I make one small mistake and think that something is ruined. The truth is that most of the mistakes and flaws that I see in myself and my work aren’t even seen by other people. On top of this, even if the mistake is seen, it’s usually something that can be painted over, before it ever impacts the final deliverable. With everything going on right now it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by supposed mistakes and shortcomings like not being as productive, missed opportunities, not being as on top of things, kids crashing conference calls, etc. If you feel or experience any of these, it’s okay. It’s just a sign that you’re human. When you experience these I hope you can take a deep breath and realize that this mistake is something that most likely will not be noticed and can easily be painted over. By the time this is all over, you will be a piece of art showcasing your grit, tenacity, and grace, and that beauty is what will be seen.

The challenge: When you make a mistake, will you pause and remember you can probably “paint over it”?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Reward Systems, Scoring Points, and Knowing Where You Are (3-25-20)

Last week was about Alice, the science fair, and teaching people to do things on their own. This week is about reward systems, scoring points, and knowing where you are.

Back in 2019 my wife and I came up with a reward system based on the Harry Potter House Cup system where the students earn points for good behavior and lose points for bad behavior. We decided to create our own House Cup, and we are each represented by the house the Pottermore Sorting Hat put us in: Gryffindor (Violet), Ravenclaw (Alice), Slytherin (my wife) and Hufflepuff (myself). After sorting ourselves into houses, we worked with the kids to identify things they could do to earn points. For example, doing chores without complaining could earn them 2 points. Going all day without getting a timeout could earn them 10 points. We also worked with them to create a list of rewards they would get for earning so many points. 50 points would earn an extra book at bedtime. 1700 points resulted in no chores for a week. This system has continued to work well with my girls. I believe part of the reason why it works so well is because it is incredibly clear. They know exactly how to earn points and where they stand in relation to the next goal/prize. As a result of this, they are inspired and motivated to exhibit the right behaviors, which is a win for everyone in the house, especially my wife and myself.

How does this connect to work? Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t know what it took to win or where you didn’t know how you were tracking toward a goal? How did you feel in those situations? I’ve been in those situations, and it didn’t feel good. I often felt disengaged, because I had no idea if I was doing the right things or making progress. Sometimes this was a project where I didn’t know what I was shooting for. Other times it is how I’ve felt about my career, not knowing what it takes and where I stand in regards to expectations and how to get to where I want to go.

This lack of clarity exists for multiple reasons. Maybe, what good looks like is not well defined. Maybe, different people have various views on what good looks like, which creates inconsistent goals. Maybe, you do not have the ability to know and/or receive feedback to tell you where you are in the grand scheme of things. No matter the cause, this lack of clarity can be incredibly disengaging when you don’t know where you stand and what is required to move forward.

The challenge: As leaders how can we bring clarity to the behaviors that are required to win? As leaders how do we ensure that individuals know where they stand in relation to their goals?

If I’m being entirely honest, now is one of those times when it is hard to know what “winning” looks like. I’m trying to give myself and others grace as we all work together to figure this out.

What does it look like to be a “good” husband/dad/friend/co-worker right now?
What does “good” movement on projects look like with everything going on?
What does “good” look like when it comes to maintaining the team’s culture and vibe?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Alice, the Science Fair, and Doing Things Herself (3-18-20)

I hope you are all strong and healthy. Last week was about shaping the environment as leaders. This week is about Alice, the science fair, and doing things herself.

Last year Alice was a first grader and she asked to do the science fair. My wife and I told her no, because we didn’t want to be the ones who ended up doing the project for her. We told her she could enter the science fair in second grade, but she would do the work. This year, Alice entered the science fair where she tested what would happen to green bean plants when she watered them with different liquids including water, tea, coffee, Gatorade, gasoline, vegetable oil, and milk.

While my wife and I were there to help teach Alice, she was the one who did the work. I was so proud of her for all the hard work she put in. However, if I’m being honest, the science fair drove my wife and I a bit crazy. Have you ever watched a second grader type? It took her years to type out paragraphs, and it took everything we had not to just type it for her. Have you ever watched a second grader try to use a mouse and Excel? She wanted to make graphs, so I taught her how to type in the data and how to highlight the data to make a graph. Watching her actually go through those steps was like having something slowly eat away at my brain. Deep down inside, I just wanted to do the things, because it would have been faster. However, If I would have done the things for her, she wouldn’t have learned anything. Now she has skills and abilities that she didn’t have a few weeks ago, because we taught her vs. did it for her.

What does this have to do with work? Coaching and developing people is one of the most important things we can do as leaders. With that said, how often do we invest the time it takes to teach and help people grow vs. jumping in and taking control? Helping someone grow takes time, a lot of time. Just like my situation with Alice, watching someone struggle to get something is painful, and you could definitely do it faster and better than they could. I don’t know about you, but I know that there have been times I’ve jumped in and done things FOR someone vs. helping them learn how to do it. The problem is that if I am always jumping in to do it for them, they can never learn on their own. This will lead them to be dependent on me, and they’ll never be able to evolve into the person and employee they were meant to be.

The challenge: Are you investing the time with people to help them grow and develop?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry