A Charlie Brown Christmas and our Work (12-17-14)

This is my last entry for the year, so first I just wanted to say thanks to everybody who takes the time to read through these random thoughts each week. If you were receiving these emails a year ago you might remember this one. It’s about A Charlie Brown Christmas, and I couldn’t think of a better message to end on.

In the special, Charlie Brown is upset, because so many people are making Christmas too commercial. He keeps asking what Christmas is all about, and as you remember Linus finally steps on stage and delivers the core message. The core message of Christmas is love. Whether you are talking about the biblical story or you are talking about the spirit of the season, it is about love. It’s about showing other individuals that you care for them and it’s about showing compassion.

I think the exact same series of events happens to us in our work. We get so stuck on the numbers, incentives, competitors, tools, processes, etc. that sometimes we need Linus to step on stage and remind us that all of our work is really about love and people. It’s about caring enough about the people we serve that we will do whatever we can to help them. It’s about caring enough about each other and our team to spend the time and effort to build people up when everything else keeps trying to knock them down.

Here’s to being Linus, and when the time is right to being Snoopy and busting out some sweet dance moves http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUQX2B67KL4 I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season.

Peace and joy,

Andrew Embry

Frosty and his Magic Hat (12-10-14)

This week is about the power of magic, so let’s talk about one of the coolest guys I know, Frosty the Snowman.

“There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found, for when they placed it on his head, he began to dance around!” Have you ever stopped to think about that hat? I find it fascinating, because it didn’t have any magic for the magician. For the evil magician it was just an old hat. However, once the kids had it all of a sudden it had some magic in it. Magic that was powerful enough to bring a snowman to life. The question of the day is, “Are you the type of person that fills the hat with magic?”

Think about the work we do. Whether you routinely work on projects or make sales calls, everything we do involves working with other people. Throughout my career there have been times when I have worked with people on things and the final outcome was good, but nothing special. This is kind of like the hat when the magician had it. There have been other times when I have worked with people and the final outcome had a little something extra. It’s like the team was able to accomplish something that was delightfully unexpected (like bringing a snowman to life).

What was the difference between the two scenarios? The difference was the people. In the second scenario people were brave enough to bring their own magic to the work. It’s hard to say what the magic was for sure. Maybe their magic was their shiny red nose. Maybe it was their authenticity, their passion, or their purpose. Maybe it was their dedication to the team and a larger goal. Whatever it was, these individuals were brave enough to bring something extra and make the impossible possible.

What is your magic and how are you using it to bring a snowman to life?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Goldfish and the Size of your Fish Tank (10-29-14)

Last week we talked about courage, cards, and deciding what rules you will play by. I want you to keep all of that in mind, because this week we are going to connect that to goldfish and aquariums.

About a month ago my family at a restaurant in Nashville that had fish tanks everywhere. You can imagine how excited my 2 year old was to see all kinds of fish swimming around as she at her pizza.

There were tanks of all different sizes and in one of the tanks was some pretty huge gold fish. This got me thinking about the old words of wisdom that a goldfish grows based on the size of the tank, the bigger the tank, the bigger the fish. I decided to look this up to see if it is true and found out it is a half-truth. It’s not just the size of the tank that impacts growth. It’s the fact that smaller tanks and fishbowls often lack high quality filtration systems which impedes growth. The bottom line is that the smaller the tank the poorer quality of water, which leads to smaller fish.

Now how does this connect to cards, courage, and the rules you play by? The rules you choose to play by impacts how big your tank is. How big is your tank? Asked another way, Who/what are you competing against? I find that my answer to this question determines my “water quality” and how big of a fish I am.

If I find myself stuck competing against other people all of the time, then I’m never the best I can be. I’m always a little bit smaller. I’m always lacking perspective. I’m always a little bit agitated or bitter. It’s because competing against other people makes my world small and keeps me trapped in water that isn’t pure. It keeps me trapped in water filled with all kinds of destructive debris. It is easier to play by “their” rules. It is easier to stay in a smaller tank, but it isn’t necessarily better.

If I find myself working for something larger, a real purpose, then I’m just a better version of myself. I’m more likely on the top of my game. I have perspective. I’m happy. It’s because working for something larger makes my tank bigger. The water is filtered with time, patience, hope, and understanding until it’s a much better place for me to live and grow.

As leaders part of our job is helping others create a tank big enough for them to grow. It’s up to us to build a tank that is big enough to filter things properly filled with clean water void of dirt and debris. To do this, we have to start with ourselves. How big is your tank?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Courage and Cards (10-22-14)

Last week talked about leading without authority. In order to do lead without authority you have to have courage. This week’s entry will focus on courage, culture, and leadership and is inspired by comments shared by Bill Fanelli and Chris Saunders.

I’m playing cards and I have three 9s and two 10s. Is it a good hand? It depends. How good my hand is depends on what game we are playing and what rules we are following. I bring this up, because the games we play and their rules only exist because we agree to play by those rules. This means that we can decide to play by different rules and change the game we are playing. Think about our work. Each day we decide what game we are going to play and what rules we are going to play by. Think of this as the work we do and how we do the work (culture).

The leadership challenge is, “What rules are you playing by and are you intentionally choosing how you play?” When I think about work there are some traditional “games” that come to mind where I am rewarded for beating you. The rules state that if I win, you must lose. This makes us compete against each other. We don’t have to play that way though. Quite frankly, I don’t want to play that way. Instead, we can choose to play where we fight for something and not against each other, a game where we can both win. This changes our strategy from hoarding secrets to collaborating in order to accomplish something.

None of this is easy and this is a true test of courage. One thing I have learned over the past few years is that not everyone wants to play the same game. Maybe they don’t know how to play a newer game. Maybe they don’t have the skills to play this game. Maybe they are good at the old game and don’t want to change games, or maybe they are just scared. It’s really easy to look around and decide just to go along with the crowd and play the game their way. However, if I’ve learned anything from watching great leaders it is that they are the ones with enough courage to play an entirely different game with its own rules. They take these risks because they believe in the game even when others don’t. They believe in the game and do the right thing even when they aren’t recognized for it, and this is the kind of leader I want to be.

What game are you playing? What rules are you using? Here’s to playing a different game.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Leadership Lessons from Nick Fury and the Avengers (10-15-14)

This week’s entry is inspired by a conversation I had with a colleague about leadership. Her hypothesis is that the true test of leadership is how well you can influence without authority, which is something that all of us are doing on a daily basis. It’s one thing to lead a group of people when you are the clear authority figure, but it is an entirely different animal to lead a group where you don’t have that authority. This hypothesis got me thinking about the movie The Avengers. If you haven’t seen The Avengers, don’t tell me because I will lose respect for you. In all seriousness, it’s a great case study in influencing without authority.

Think about it. Nick Fury (super spy extraordinaire) assembles a team of some of the most powerful beings in the universe including the Hulk (strongest there is) and Thor (a thunder god) to stop a bad guy. This should be easy, right? It’s not easy though. Each superhero is a powerful individual with a different background, approaching everything from their unique perspective. They don’t know or trust each other. There are no clear expectations, sources of authority, or defined goals. All of these issues cause them to spend the first 2/3 of the film getting duped and getting their butt kicked, because they waste time jockeying for power amongst each other. It takes a tragic turn of events to get the team focused on a singular goal- saving the world! Only then are they able to come together as a team, defeat evil, and save the world from yet another egotistical madman.

Now think about the teams we are on at work. We can make the argument that we are a lot like the Avengers. We are a collection of individual superheroes used to doing things our own way, all pulled together to accomplish some important task. This is the true test of leading without authority. In my experience, if we spend the time in the beginning with the team getting crystal clear on expectations, roles, and what success looks like, then we go on to accomplish great things. If we don’t spend the time doing this, the wheels fall off. (Side note, I’d also argue that the same skills that enable a person to lead without authority makes them an even better leader when they have authority.)

How will you lead your fellow Avengers?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Ugly Work vs. Exciting Work (9-24-14)

I turned 30 on Monday and did the thing we probably all do when we have a birthday. I looked into the mirror, reflected on the last year of my life, and then said, “I’m doing better than I was at this time last year, but I really could be healthier.” Then yesterday as I was eating my nachos from Cancun a series of mini-revelations hit me like a hammer.

After I get done working out I experience a rush. I get excited. I wipe the sweat off of my face and know that I’ve accomplished something. After I spend an entire day eating the right foods to help me reach my fitness goals…I…well…I don’t feel anything. There’s nothing exciting about eating the proper amount of calories. There’s nothing riveting about being nutritionally sound. I tend to do better working out than I do with making sure I eat healthy.

Now, I might see some results by focusing on exercise, but working out on its own won’t get me where I want to go. In fact, I’d argue that eating well probably makes up 70-80% of the success that I am able to have. The thing in all of this is that I need to both eat well and exercise to get the results I want.

Does this sound familiar? This is the battle between planning and executing. This is the battle between doing the exciting thing (executing) and doing the thing that gives you the right fuel to make execution even better (planning). It shouldn’t be either/or, but instead it should be both. Going with the health example, even if I exercise exactly like I am supposed to, I won’t be able to reach my goals if I don’t also provide my body with the right fuel. If I would put as much effort into planning my meals as I do making time to work out then I would be in a lot better shape than I am in right now.

The exact same thing holds true whether you are a sales representative, a manager, a consultant, or some other leader. Even if you are a gifted implementer, if you don’t take the time to plan to make sure you are working toward the right objectives and talking to the right people about the right things and asking the right questions, then you will never be as impactful as you could be with some proper planning. We have to be willing to put in some of the grind work that isn’t as easily noticeable or exciting, understanding that the only way we can execute to our full potential is by planning, so we have the right fuel for when it comes time to flex our muscles.

Here’s to planning and eating right at least most of the time 😉

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons Learned from being a Dad Part 5- Disciplining out of Love (9-10-14)

There are two lessons I have learned since becoming a parent that work hand in hand with each other.

Lesson 1- Parenting is the name for a lifelong coaching session.
Lesson 2- You can discipline or give feedback to a child out of love or out of negative intent.

Alice acts up sometimes and when she does I have to admit that she’s not always my favorite person in the world (Bonus lesson: Having kids means loving them always, but not always liking them). I don’t like having stern conversations with her and disciplining her. It’s not easy and it’s not fun. The reason I do it though, is because I love her so much that I want to help her grow up and become a good woman. I want her to be polite, nice, generous, caring, loving, etc. I don’t want her breaking stuff, being disrespectful, etc. I do NOT have these conversations with her to prove that I’m smarter, more powerful, or authoritarian. (The picture is Alice right before she transforms into “Defiant Temper Tantrum Throwing Alice”. Transform. Get it? She’s wearing an Optimus Prime shirt. #dadsaysboysaredecepticons)

I’ve noticed the same thing when it comes to giving people feedback. For me, what the person says and how they say it is not as important as the intent behind the words. I’ve had conversations with people who give me feedback by saying things like, “Dude, you’re kind of being an idiot and a jerk” or “I’m not feeling that at all” or “That kind of sucks” but I knew they were having the conversations out of love so it was okay. I know other people who say things that sound nicer like, “I have a little coaching for you if you’ll take it,” which is actually code for “I’m smarter than you are and think you should do things my way.” Let’s just say that’s not the best way to get me to do anything. It’s not just the words. It’s the intent behind them.

In my daughter’s case, I have to constantly demonstrate that I love her and care about her so she always can at least see my intent. I’d say we have the opportunity to do the same with our co-workers.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons Learned from being a Dad Part 4- Mistakes and Face Plants (9-3-14)

This entry is about the parenting lessons I’ve learned from watching Violet face plant into the couch. Violet is 7 months old and is crawling/bouncing/scooting around everywhere. On one hand this is great, because she is mobile, but on the other hand she is more prone to bump/crash into things. Have you ever deconstructed what occurs when a baby face plants into a couch? Here is the play by play.

Deconstructing a fall

First, Violet begins to fall, which is a sensation that scares her. Her face then hits the couch, sending pain signals through her body. The initial instinct is to think the impact is worse than it actually is. While this is occurring, she is looking at me and her mom to gauge what our reaction to the fall means. If I overreact, she gets more scared and cries harder. If I don’t react, I am showing her I don’t care. I have to aim somewhere in the middle, so I usually play the reassuring, “You’re okay.” After I comfort her, I set her back on the floor and let her get to exploring again.

Deconstructing making a mistake

Have you ever thought about how the above process mirrors what it is like to make a mistake? When you made a mistake did you feel like the picture on the right? I do. First, you make a mistake, which is a sensation that scares you. You feel the impact from the mistake, which signals to you how bad you’ve messed up. The initial instinct is to think the mistake is much worse than it actually is. While all of this is going on, you look out to the people around you to gauge their reaction. Their reaction gives insight into how much you screwed up and helps you decide whether or not it is safe to try again.

Leadership connection

As a parent I am learning that the fall is as scary as or worse than the impact. My job is to show I care without blowing the situation out of proportion. Good leaders know how to treat a bruise like a bruise instead of a broken arm. Better leaders know what type of person you are and whether you need ice, a Band-Aid, or someone to tell you to “rub some dirt on it”. The best leaders are the ones who do all of those things and then help you get back in the middle of things, ready to explore again.

When they fall and look to you, what do you do?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons Learned from being a Dad Part 3- Encouragement and Taking Fear Away (8-27-14)

Continuing with the lessons I’ve learned since becoming a parent…

Alice is climbing around on playground equipment. She is climbing on bars and starts to get scared. I don’t pull her off of the equipment. Instead, I tell her, “I’m here. You’re okay. You can do it. Keep climbing.” Then I wait as she climbs step by slow step. Once she reaches the top she throws her hands up triumphantly and yells, “Daddy I did it!” She goes down the slide and climbs up the same bars without hesitation.

As sappy as it sounds, I can’t describe how happy and proud I was of her at that moment. This describes one of my favorite parts of being a dad. I have this mysterious power that enables me to remove fear and replace it with confidence. Giving confidence isn’t just about heaping meaningless praise on a person. It is about being able to authentically show someone that you care and have faith in them.

Think back to a career defining moment. I can think back to a few when I was scared, nervous, anxious, and wondering if I could accomplish something. I would say, “This is pretty big. I don’t know if I can do it.” I can remember how some of my favorite leaders handled this. They sat across from me, looked me in the eye, and said something along the lines of “I’m here for you. I have faith. You can do this. I don’t know how you’ll get it done, but I know that you will.” They would say this with such compassion and sincerity that I couldn’t help but believe them. That one act completely changed my perspective. Then, I’d go to work, step by slow step until I made it.

As I work with others and continue to grow as a leader I want to be able to have the same influence that my favorite leaders have had on me. I want to have that mysterious ability that gives people the power to keep climbing when they are frozen. I want to be able to throw up my hands triumphantly when they reach the top and say, “You did it!”

As a leader, what are you doing to remove fear and replace it with confidence?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons Learned from being a Dad Part 2- The Power of a Smile (8-20-14)

Continuing with the lessons I’ve learned since becoming a parent…

For my wife it had been over 300 days. For me it was closer to 50. It had been days upon days of discomfort and emotional stress. We had went so long without sleeping that it felt like crows had set up a permanent nest around our eyes. The wounds were emotional, physical, and mental.

Then, one day that all faded into the background. On that day Violet was about 6 weeks old and for the first time she smiled. I know. It sounds a little dramatic, but if you have ever been around little kids you have probably felt the same way. Their smile, their joy can light up the room and heal all the little wounds you collect as you go through each day.

Anyone who tells you that they love newborns is lying or over-romanticizing the memory. Newborns are tough. All you do is work, work, and work for them without any word of encouragement. Then all of a sudden that changes when they smile. It becomes even better when they first start to say your name. My favorite part of the day is coming home, Alice giving me a huge hug and then picking up Violet and watching her smile and giggle. At that point, the stresses and cuts I’ve picked up from the day disappear, if only for a little while.

I bring this up to show the power of a smile, a hug, and a kind word. I don’t know about you, but if you’re anything like me sometimes you feel that nobody notices or appreciates you. Sometimes, I feel like I’m just trudging through and all I do is work, work, and work. Then, someone (a colleague, a supervisor, a partner) smiles or gives a hug or offers a kind word and it washes away that mentality and gives me the fuel to keep going.

How often are you the one who offers the encouragement when others need it? How often are you offering a smile, a hug, or kind words to a colleague, a customer, a family member, or friend? How powerful is your smile?

In case no one has told you lately, thank you. If you receive these emails it means you are trying to make a difference. You are trying to build a culture. You are trying to keep it real in a world where everything is plastic. Thanks for this. Smile, air high five, and hug!

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry