Feedback can be Recognition (9-30-15)

He tells me, “Sometimes people say you come across as…brash…abrasive.”  And when he said this I felt ______.  Take a guess.

We’ll finish this story in a minute.  Over the next few weeks this blog will focus on giving and receiving feedback.  This week’s entry is inspired by a leader I admire.  Recently we had a Marketing Town Hall and during the event we had a panel of marketers across business units who shared some of their thoughts about engagement related topics.  The group was talking about reward and recognition and a leader offered an insight that made me stop and think.  He said something along the lines of, “We often think about the reward that goes with recognition.  Sometimes the best recognition is feedback.”  He went on to comment about how offering feedback to people is a way of showing that you are paying attention to them and that you care.  At our core, isn’t this what we really want, to know that someone else cares about us?  Unique perspective, huh?

So how did I feel when Bob (fake name) gave me the feedback that I can be brash and abrasive?  Full transparency.  The initial feeling was, “I suck!”  We’ve all been there right?  After all, it’s not like we walk around saying, “Tell me where I screwed up.”  The next feeling was acceptance and that Bob was right.  I’ve heard that feedback before and I know I unintentionally come off that way sometimes.  I can be direct and loud, which isn’t always the best combination.  Those of you who have been around me enough are probably chuckling, because you’ve probably experienced this from me 😉  Bob and I talked about how my directness can have upsides and downsides in certain situations, and that Bob mainly wanted to be sure that I was cognizant of how I was being perceived and respond accordingly.

The final and most powerful feeling I felt was appreciation.  That’s right.  Bob told me I can come across as brash and abrasive and I was thankful.  I was thankful, because it’s easy to give people positive feedback but it’s so hard to give critical, honest, specific, and actionable feedback about where a person is making mistakes.  Like the leader mentioned, Bob’s actions made me feel recognized, valued, and made me care about Bob even more.

 The challenge:  Do you care enough about someone to be a Bob?  Give someone some feedback this week (positive or negative) and show them that you recognize them, that you see them, and that you care.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Inclusion and being Intentional (9-16-15)

This is going to be the last entry on the topics of inclusion, diversity, and superpowerment 😉  I want to pull all of these themes we have been discussing together with an analogy and a gut check.

Imagine for a minute that you are a sales representative.  You are getting ready to call on a customer and I ask you what you are trying to accomplish with this customer.  Now imagine you didn’t have an answer.  Instead, you told me that you were just going to go in there and wing it.  How good of a sales representative do you think you’d be?

Let’s pretend for a moment that you are a marketer.  I ask you what you are trying to accomplish with your customers.  You tell me that you have identified three key things that customers need to believe in order to feel comfortable enough to use our product.  Then I ask you how you are going to get them to understand those things and feel that way.  You tell me you’re not sure and that you’re just going to put some tactics through to see what happens.  How good of a marketer would you be?

Now let’s say you’re an employee.  You tell me that diversity and inclusion are really important to you.  If I asked you how you want people to feel who come in contact with you, could you give me a specific answer?  If I asked you how you intended on making them feel that way, would you have a strategy?  Be honest.

Over the past few weeks we’ve talked about diversity vs. inclusion, superpowerment, overcoming biases through action, and making the time to have these conversations.  We’ve also talked about the “silent questions” we are always asking like, “Can I be myself with this person?  Can I trust this person?”  The underlying theme is that the only way we can make progress in these areas is by being very intentional.  We have to take the time and spend the effort thinking through how we want people to feel and what we can do to help them feel this way.

The challenge- How intentional are you?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Inclusion, Safety, and Street Lights (9-9-15)

Last week was all about being aware of your biases, and then taking action.  This week is also about taking action, but in a different context.  This week’s entry is inspired by a conversation I had with a colleague.

Imagine for a moment that you are standing in the middle of an intersection at night and you need to pick which road you would feel the safest traveling on.  You have 4 different directions you can take.  To the north is pure darkness.  You can’t even see a road.  To the east there are street lamps, and sometimes they flicker on for a few seconds before the road goes dark again.  To the south the street lights are all on, so you can see pretty well.  To the west all of the street lights are on and you see a friend of yours who is calling you saying, “Come on.  We’ll walk there together.”  Which one do you choose?

You’re probably wondering what this has to do with anything.  What if in the above situation you weren’t choosing a road, but you were choosing which person you would be willing to have a conversation with about diversity and inclusion topics?  To the north the dark street is the person who seals off their personal self at work.  To the east the flickering lamps are the people who show that they might be open, but they don’t give you enough to know for sure.  To the south the well-lit street is the person who brings themselves to work and you are sure that it would be safe to have this conversation with them.  To the west, the well-lit street with the friend is the individual who takes it a step further and puts in the effort to set aside time for them to have conversations with you.  Which do you choose?

Recently I had a conversation with a colleague and he talked about how one of the biggest barriers to advancing in the realm of diversity and inclusion is that we don’t talk enough about these concepts with each other.  We often don’t talk about these concepts, because we aren’t sure who is open to having the conversation and when we can have the conversation during the course of our regular work day.  We might have all of this stuff on our minds, but bringing it up in the midst of other business meetings and during the rush of our day would feel out of place and not give the topics the time and attention they require.  If we want this to change we need to find a way to create opportunities to have these conversations and we need to do this by making it easier for people to walk toward us and with us.  If we are going to be open to having these conversations we need to be able to demonstrate this through our words and our actions.

Which path are you in the analogy?  I would hope that people would see me as the south path.  I hope that I’m giving all of the signals that tell people I’m open.  At the same time, I recognize that I need to do better.  I need to put in the work to be the welcoming west path.  I can make the time to talk with people about these concepts to learn more and take more action to make things better.  The challenge- How are you making yourself easier to walk toward?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Hair on Fire and Conversations about Bias (9-2-15)

Last week we talked about inclusion and superpowerment.  This week we are going to look at bias, which is one of the biggest barriers we face.  Pretend for a moment that you are looking in the mirror and have just uncovered your hair is on fire.  What do you do?  Option 1- Talk about it.  Option 2- Take action to put the fire out.  Which option do you choose?

I know this is a little over the top, but this is the way I feel we treat conversations about bias. We tell everyone it’s okay that we have biases.  Then, we try to identify some of our biases and where they come from, and then the conversation abruptly stops.  In other words, we identify we are on fire, talk about how it happened, but then we never figure out how we are going to put the fire out.  Mirror moment.  Be honest with yourself.  What is a bias you have and what are you DOING to fight that bias?  Below is my example.

I am biased against people who don’t talk/contribute much during meetings.  I figure that I’m comfortable speaking up and sharing ideas, so everyone else should be.  If you aren’t talking at meetings you aren’t prepared or you lack confidence.  I know this rationale isn’t true.  There are a plethora of reasons why people might not speak up during meetings.  They might be more introverted or want the time to process alone.  They might not want to be “that guy/gal” who just repeats what other people say.  Maybe they don’t feel safe for a variety of reasons.  Bottom line, my bias is wrong.

 How I fight this (lessons learned from other leaders, Six Sigma, The Six Thinking Hats, and other articles)

  • Keep reminding myself that just because I’m comfortable doesn’t mean everyone else is.
  • If I’m leading the meeting I send out the questions we are going to tackle ahead of time.  This gives everyone a chance to process on their own.
  • I changed the way I run brainstorming sessions.

I used to brainstorm entirely unstructured.  We would bring up ideas, kill them, and move on.  This was fine with me, but it didn’t lead to the superpowerment of others.  Now I do more of a Six Sigma structure.  First, all we do is brainstorm ideas.  This is about quantity, not quality.  I don’t let anyone judge the ideas.  If people try to judge ideas, I remind them that we aren’t doing this right now 😉  This makes things safer, because there is no right or wrong at this point.  Then we affinitize.  Finally we prioritize and weigh the ideas.  Combine this with the above bullets, and I believe this process create a safer environment and empowers people to participate.

I’ve found that doing a combination of the above things, paying better attention to body language, and being a better listener have helped us have better sessions and helped me fight a bias I have.  Your hair is on fire.  What’s your bias and what are you DOING to fight it?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

From Inclusion to Superempowerment (8-26-15)

This week’s blog was partially inspired by an article written by Dr. Gates, “Inclusion is bad for business”.  Click HERE for the article.  Last week we talked about the silent questions we ask such as: Can I be myself?  Does this person value different people and thoughts?  Can I trust this person?  We also spent time thinking about the difference between diversity and inclusion.  Often when people talk about inclusion they talk about creating a safe environment, but I want to challenge us to do more.  How can we take inclusion to the next level?

I want you to think about the teams you’ve been on throughout your life.  I’ve been on teams where it was safe to jump in and people tiptoed into the waters.  I’ll call this an inclusive team.  I’ve also been on teams that had some kind of extra magic where you jumped in, cannonball style, unleashing your personality, talent, and abilities for the greater good.  I’ll call this a team that practices superpowerment (Super+Empowerment).  Which team would you rather be on?

By now you are probably trying to figure out what superpowerment looks like?  These are the leaders who go one step further on everything.  Inclusive leaders encourage you to be yourself.  Superpowerment leaders go out of their way to make sure you understand how your uniqueness is valuable to them, the team, and the organization.  Inclusive leaders give you the chance to be visible and Superpowerment leaders ensure you are seen.  The bottom line is that an inclusive leader sees a spark and gives it room to flourish, while a superpowerment leader sees the spark and pours gas on it to make it burn brighter, bigger, and longer.

Is inclusion good enough for you?  What kind of a leader do you want to be?  How can you answer those silent questions and move from diversity to inclusion and then from inclusion to superpowerment?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Diversity, Inclusion, and Silent Questions (8-19-15)

Over the past few weeks I’ve found inspiration from various people, articles, and events, so I want us to spend a few weeks diving into concepts related to diversity and inclusion.  This week’s entry is about the “silent” questions that we are always asking and their impact on inclusion.

One of the things I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is that we often use the words diversity and inclusion interchangeably, but they don’t mean the same things.  Diversity is about having a group of different people.  Inclusion is about creating an environment for that group where people all freely participate.

If we want diversity we can go and grab a bunch of different people and throw them in a room, but this doesn’t mean that we will have inclusion.  This doesn’t mean we will have teamwork.  This doesn’t mean we will have any synergy.  One of the reasons things like inclusion, teamwork, and synergy never occur is because of the way others react to the “silent” questions that we are always asking.

Imagine for a moment that you are in a room full of people.  You know some of them, but not all of them.  What are some of the silent questions you are asking?  In situations like these I’m always asking a few key questions:  Can I be myself with this person?  Does this person really value different people and thoughts?  Can I trust this person?  Why should I trust them?  What will happen if I do put my trust in them?

 I’m going to be very honest and forthright about my skepticism.  I don’t give anyone the benefit of the doubt on the above questions.  Instead, the entire time I’m spending time with them I’m looking for things that they say and more importantly things that they do that answer those questions.  Positive answers lead to my engagement and an inclusive environment.  Negative answers take all of the energy out of the room.

It doesn’t matter if you are a peer, a manager, or an upper level leader, people are always asking these questions when they are around you to see if you really believe in inclusion.  I think we know people in all levels of the organization who fail and who pass this important test.

The challenge:  How are you answering these “silent” questions?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Be Bold. Own it. (8-12-15)

This is going to be the last entry in the bold leadership series.  We’ve talked about how bold ideas challenge the status quo (starting a country) and why we need to be bold (Frogger).  We’ve talked about challenging the world and assumptions around us (Copernicus).  We’ve also talked about self-doubt and doubt from others (Be a dragon), which are two of the biggest barriers to being bold.  This week we are going to tie everything together with the key mindset shift we need to make in order to be bold.  If we want to be bold we need to believe that WE own the problems we face and that WE can influence the area around us.  This sounds really simple, but it’s not.

Recently I was talking to someone about workplace culture and they were talking about various barriers they faced.  When I asked them what they could do to help the problem they basically told me that it wasn’t up to them, but it was something that leadership needed to do.  On a different note, I’m working on a project about decision making.  When I talk to people many of them say they can’t do anything, because it’s the process’s fault.  How many times have you heard something like this from people?  I know I’ve said things like this and felt this way before.  Have you?  Too often people wait around for others to solve problems.  How often are we just standing there waiting?

Here is what I’ve learned over the years.  It doesn’t matter if the topic is culture, the future, the approval process, etc. we can’t be bold unless we are willing to own the problems we face and are willing to try and influence our surroundings.  As soon as we decide we are responsible for making things happen we begin to think boldly and start challenging the status quo.

Now I understand that I can’t change everything.  I can’t snap my fingers and magically make things happen.  What I am saying is that we are responsible for “our dirt”.  We are responsible for the pieces of us that come in contact with the people, culture, processes, and work that we do.  It is our job to ensure that all of these people and things are better because we are a part of them.  If we are all bold enough to own our dirt, then some pretty powerful change can happen.

Own it->Think Bold-> Move past your own doubt->Be a dragon and spit fire->Lead boldly!

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Be Bold. Be a Dragon. Breathe Fire. (8-5-15)

Last week we talked about having the guts to challenge our assumptions about the way the world works.  What happens when that is met with resistance?  That’s when we need to be dragons to protect and build up fledgling bold ideas.

We’ve all been there.  Someone challenges the status quo with the initial concept for a bold idea, and it gets shot down by people who say things like, “We’ve never done it that way.  We do it this way.  That would never work.”  The idea gets rejected before it even has a chance to be tested.  I believe that many people start out with bold ideas but when they are met with resistance, individuals either give up on them or water them down until they aren’t bold anymore.  I know that I’ve done this before.  Have you?

People give up or water down the idea, because it is “safer” or easier than challenging the status quo.  However, as we talked about with the Frogger story, “safe” isn’t exactly safe anymore when time is running out and obstacles are racing around you.  The fact is easy doesn’t exactly get the job done anymore.  This is why we need to be dragons.

I have this motto, “Be a dragon.  Breathe fire.”  I say this to psyche myself up when I get ready to share a different idea or do something unique.  Here is how this motto connects to our work.  Dragons are strong creatures with impenetrable skin that attack with fierce, powerful flames.  We have to be the same.  We have to have the strength to carry the burden of challenging the status quo and the thick skin to handle criticism, so we don’t fold under initial scrutiny.  We have to be brave enough to breathe fire and share the idea in all of its boldness with all of our passion, reason, data, etc. instead of some watered down version.  Obviously, after we share the idea we should test it to ensure it’s a good idea and that it will work, but we can’t afford to let it get shot down before it’s even developed.

Now think back to that situation where you saw a bold idea get shot down prematurely.  What do you think would have happened if that person would have been a dragon in that situation?  Here’s to being bold, strong, and spitting flames. 

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Be Bold- Doubt, Challenge, Embrace (7-29-15)

This week’s blog entry is inspired by a colleague who works in market research.  She is one of those people who always finds a way to ask a question or share a thought that rearranges your universe like when you found out Pluto was no longer a planet.  In this case, she shared some thoughts with me about doubt and being bold that I think are worth digging into.

Last week we talked about the negative impact of self-doubt.  However, as Belinda pointed out, not all doubt is bad.  In fact doubt can be very useful.  It can make you question and keep you from making big mistakes.  Here is a quote from her that stuck out to me, “I am a believer in doubt, challenge, and then decide and embrace.”  How often do we do this vs. deciding on our opinion and searching for data to support our conclusions?  The moral of today’s story is to be bold and use doubt to challenge your assumptions about the way the world works, this is the only way we can challenge the status quo.

Let’s pretend it’s the late 1400s.  I tell you that the sun revolves around the earth.  We are the center of the universe after all.  Then all of a sudden this guy named Copernicus (see pic for awesome hair) comes around and says that the earth actually revolves around the sun.  How could that guy be serious?  I know that the sun revolves around the earth.  That’s a given.  That’s the way it’s always been.  Fast forward to today, and if I told you the sun revolved around the earth you’d think I was crazy.  See, Copernicus had the guts to use his doubt to challenge, decide, and then embrace truth.

 Be bold and use doubt to challenge your assumptions about the way the world works.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Self-doubt and being Bold (7-22-15)

This week I want to talk about self-doubt, one of the biggest barriers to bold leadership.  Bold ideas lead to bold actions, which lead to change.  Wherever there is change, there is doubt nearby ready to rain on the parade.  Can I do this?  Am I making impact?

Doubt can lead to fear, but it can also give you the chance to be strong and vulnerable enough to face these fears.  As I work on becoming a better leader I try to be strong enough to face these doubts and be vulnerable enough to share my doubts with others to get a little help.  Here is a story about sharing this doubt with someone.

Two months ago, I had a meeting with a colleague.  During the conversation she gave me a couple of compliments and I said, “Thanks.  You don’t know how much I needed that today.”  I then continued to tell her about how Doubt had been on my shoulder for the past few weeks whispering.  It didn’t make any sense.  I should have been flying high after killing it at TEDx and making great progress on work that could change the way we do things.  Instead, Doubt was there whispering, bringing me down.

 My Doubt said, “What are you doing here kid?  You don’t belong here.  You’re not a business guy.  You know they just keep you around as a distraction right?  They don’t need you.  The emails, the jokes, the energy, the creativity, all of that crap you like, all of that stuff you think is important… well none of that stuff you do actually means anything to anybody.  We’re here to run a business and none of that stuff you do hits the bottom line.  If you left tomorrow it wouldn’t matter.  You are nothing more than a smiling DISTRACTION.  That’s what they keep you around for…”

I’m human.  Doubt happens.  So I share that stuff with my co-worker and we talk through it.  We talked about the insecurity and how it’s hard for me sometimes in this role because there isn’t a clear scoreboard to help me understand if anything I am doing is making a difference.  We also talked about whole list of other topics relating to my doubt and insecurities, and I found that talking through it made it go away.

Be bold long enough and Doubt will come.  When it does, remember how strong you are. When it does, remember your friends make you stronger.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry