Superhero Lessons Part 6 Daredevil and Seeing the World (5-4-16)

Last week we talked about Iron Man who uses technology and armor to set himself up for success.  This week we’ll think about viewing the world from a new perspective by looking at the lessons we can learn from Daredevil, a blind superhero (Yes, you read that sentence correctly.)

If you don’t know the story of Daredevil you might be wondering how someone who is blind ends up ever becoming a superhero.  Matt Murdock (Daredevil) was born perfectly healthy.  When he was a young kid he was involved in an accident where his eyes were covered in toxic materials causing his blindness.  Although the accident caused him to go blind it also heightened all of his other senses to superhuman levels.  Imagine being able to hear the faintest of noises from blocks away.  Imagine smelling something and being able to trace its location.  Imagine being able to feel the changes in the air temperature to estimate how many people were entering a room.  Daredevil may not be able to see, but his combined super senses give him a unique way to see the world around him and fight crime.  As Matt grows up he witnesses a series of tragedies in his home of Hell’s Kitchen in New York City, and he vows to fight injustice by day as an attorney and by night as Daredevil. 

What does a blind vigilante superhero have to do with anything?  Daredevil shows us how much we can miss by becoming overly reliant on our eyes and our first impressions.  Daredevil is unable to see, so he has to piece together the world around him with the context he acquires through his other senses and intuition. 

Think about work for a moment.  How reliant are we on our eyes and the first things that we see?  Maybe this is the first impression of someone.  Maybe this is an action committed by someone that leads us to make a snap judgment.  Maybe this is the first time hearing an idea.  How often do we make snap decisions after taking a glance at something or someone?  How often do we take the time to try to piece things together using other data sources and perspectives from other people in the same way Daredevil uses his senses to create a radar perspective of the world around him?

The challenge: You can use your eyes to see the world or you can use your whole being to truly comprehend and experience the world.  What are you doing?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Superhero Lessons Part 5 Iron Man and Arming Ourselves for Success (4-27-16)

Last week we talked about X-men and working together to achieve goals.  Bonus points for the cool names people submitted.  This week I want us to think about how we properly arm ourselves for success and how that relates to Iron Man.  In case you don’t know, Tony Stark is a billionaire science genius who put his brains to work to help the world as a scientist and as the superhero Iron Man! 

Here is one of the interesting things about Iron Man.  His suit isn’t just a suit he wears to cover up his identify.  His suit is armor that he builds.  Tony realizes that the situations he faces are often unique and that it would be IMPOSSIBLE to create one set of armor that could do everything.  While most superheroes wear the same thing all the time, Iron Man designs, builds, and changes his gear based on the SPECIFIC situation at hand.  He has his basic armor, and then he has armor built to last in outer space, armor for undersea exploring, armor built for speed, stealth armor, his Hulk busting armor (see pic), and many more.  Each set of armor has its pros and cons.  For example, his stealth armor is fast and agile, but not very powerful.  His Hulk buster armor gives him strength but not agility.

What can we learn from Iron Man and his armor built for specific situations?  How many times do you start a project or create a tactic intended to solve 1 specific problem, and then scope creep sets in and turns the project into a Frankenstein monster that is supposed to accomplish everything?  How effective does that end up being?  Does it actually meet anyone’s needs?  In the end, something that attempts to do everything doesn’t do anything particularly well.

Now think about yourself.  How often do you feel like you are one suit of armor trying to be an expert in everything?  How often do you feel like you have to be everything to everybody?  The best decision I ever made was that I don’t need to be everything to everybody.  I finally came to grips with the fact that it’s okay that there are some situations where I’ll be great and some where I’ll be bad.  I’m great armor for big ideas, energy, and funkiness.  I’m bad armor for rules and processes, and that’s okay because there are many other people better suited to tackle those problems.

The challenge: Be like Tony Stark.  Understand that 1 solution can’t solve all problems.  Understand that you can’t be everything for everyone.  Build your special suit of armor that accentuates you!

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Superhero Lessons Part 4 Teamwork and the X-men (4-20-16)

Last week we talked about Wonder Woman and embracing the different sides of ourselves.  This week we will talk about the X-men and truly embracing the different people on our teams.  When we think about superheroes we often think about individuals and what they can accomplish on their own.  I want us to contrast that with the X-men, a team of super powered individuals.  They work together to defeat the largest threats to the world.

The X-men is a team that was created by Professor Charles Xavier, a telepath, who wanted to bring young mutants together to teach them how to control their powers (a mutant is a person born with special DNA that gives them powers).  From there, Xavier’s students became his X-men, a team that fights supervillains.  Throughout the years the team has had several members with a wide variety of mutant powers including rapid healing and enhanced senses (Wolverine), super strength (Colossus), the ability to control the weather (Storm), the ability to shoot lasers out of their eyes (Cyclops), a person who can run through walls (Kitty Pryde), a guy who can teleport (Nightcrawler), and more. 

What do the X-men have to do with anything?  Any of these individual X-men would be a powerful force on their own, but together they accomplish even more amazing things.  Think about the teams you work on.  These are your fellow X-men.  What powers do they have?  More importantly, are you leveraging those superpowers or are you going at it alone with just your own super skills?

Andrew’s work example.  My mutant abilities include an amazing beard and a knack for seeing the essence in things.  I’m working on a project and those skills help me, but they can’t get me where I need to go on my own.  Instead of trying to go at it alone, I go and talk to T, who has the ability to make numbers talk to him, and I ask him to use his data mind to help me figure out an approach.  I go and talk to B, who has the ability to ask the question that completely shifts your paradigm, and she helps me see that I’m missing a few angles.  I talk to C, who has driver skills and can figure out the next practical step you need to take to move things along.  I combine all of our powers and perspectives together, and it makes me smarter and my project that much stronger.  I couldn’t do it alone, but I could reach out to my fellow X-men to make progress.

Bottom line:  Are you going alone or are you leveraging the mutant abilities of your teammates?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Superhero Lessons Part 3 Wonder Woman, Warrior AND Princess (4-13-16)

Last week we talked about Green Lantern and conquering fear.  This week, we will think about Wonder Woman and how we can tackle those “supposed” contradictions within all of us in order to make ourselves stronger.

Wonder Woman is one of the most powerful characters in the DC Universe.  I believe that she is one of the few characters who could go toe to toe with Superman in a fistfight, and I also believe she would have a great chance at winning because of her strength, brains, and magic lasso.  In case you don’t know, Superman is vulnerable to magic, so that could play into Wonder Woman’s hands with her lasso and weapons.  Also, her bracelets could reflect his laser vision.  Finally, she’s an Amazon warrior.  Nuff said.

Anyway, Wonder Woman is a fascinating character to me, because she is a collection of traits that are “supposed to be” contradictions. She’s a warrior AND a princess.  She’s strong AND feminine.  She’s a leader AND a servant.  She’s caring AND tough.   She’s all powerful AND merciful.  She’s not one or the other.  She is ALL of these things wrapped up into one person.  She’s an example of how the different sides of us don’t have to be at odds with each other.  In fact, we are richer when these different sides work together inside ourselves.

What does this have to do with life?  In life we don’t always appreciate the complexity of people.  Instead, we often want to make people choose to be one thing or the other.  You are either a jokester or someone who takes their job seriously.  You are either a leader or a follower.  You are either creative or methodical.  You are either strong or vulnerable.  You are either an expert or a student.

If Wonder Woman would wrap us in her Lasso of Truth we’d quickly see that we don’t have to choose between these false dichotomies that we set up.  Instead, we can be both.  We can be a collection of traits that are “supposed to be” contradictions, and that is what can make us powerful. 

The challenge: How can you be like Wonder Woman and embrace all sides of yourself?    

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Superhero Lessons Part 2 Green Lantern and Overcoming Fear (4-6-16)

Last week we talked about Batman, The Flash, and knowing where the finish line is before you take off sprinting.  This week I want us to look at something else that could get in the way of us reaching the finish line.  That thing is FEAR.

Maybe you have heard of the Green Lantern.  Green Lantern is basically an intergalactic cop with a power ring that he uses to fight bad guys.  The ring is powered by will/grit/determination.  This ring allows him to use his imagination to create anything he needs to make to save the day.  For example, say he was surrounded by bad guys with guns.  He might create a huge shield that blocks all of their bullets.  Maybe an airplane is going to crash, so he could create a large hand to catch it.  As long as he has the will and the imagination he can virtually do anything.

All superheroes have an arch nemesis.  The Green Lantern’s vile villain is Sinestro, a Yellow Lantern (see picture).  While Green Lantern is powered by will, Yellow Lanterns like Sinestro are powered by FEAR.  The whole idea is that fear is the largest threat to someone’s will to do something.  When fear comes into play the Green Lantern loses his will, his imagination, and his power.  Green Lantern and Sinestro have clashed time and time again with Green Lantern always finding a way to overcome fear in order to beat Sinestro.

What does an intergalactic cop have to do with work?  It all comes down to your willpower versus the fear you face.  How often are we excited about a great idea that withers away because fear sets in?  How often do we allow fear to chip away at our self-confidence?  We become worried the idea won’t work.  We become worried that other people might judge us.  Before we know it, our imagination, our power, our will has been crushed by fear.  We can’t remove fear from our lives, but we can overcome it.

Challenge: How will you overcome fear, so your willpower can make your thoughts a reality?

Bonus Confessions: Things that fill me with fear on a regular basis that I have to find ways to overcome.  Maybe we share a few of these in common.

  • Being a dad-> Am I doing this right?  Am I setting the girls up for success?  Do I know what I need to know?
  • Being incompetent in this role-> How long do I get to play the new guy card until people just say I’m incompetent?  Am I valuable to anybody?
  • Sending out my blogs-> Every week I ask myself:  Is this any good?  Is this weird that I’m sending these out?  Do people think I’m arrogant for doing this?
  • Performing poetry/giving speeches-> I’m good at these things, so I shouldn’t have fear but I still do.  All the way up to the point I step on stage I worry about crashing and

burning.  Will I forget my words?  Will the audience accept something like this?  Will people listen?  Is this the right message?  Will this make me weird in people’s eyes?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Superhero Lessons Part 1 The Flash vs. Batman: A Battle of Speed and Thought (3-30-16)

This week we are going to kick off a series of lessons inspired by superheroes.  We’ll start by thinking about speed, direction, Batman, and The Flash.

Imagine for a moment that Batman challenges The Flash to a race.  The Flash accepts.  The two racers meet at the starting line.  The Flash will do the race on foot and Batman will drive the Batmobile.  Alfred says, “Go!” and the racers take off.  The Flash takes off heading north at the speed of sound, roughly 768 mph.  Meanwhile, Batman jumps into the Batmobile, enters coordinates into the Bat GPS and starts heading south at his top speed of 230 mph.  Batman wins the race.

The Flash is more than 3 times faster than Batman in his Batmobile, so how does Batman win?  For the sake of argument, let’s just say that Batman wins, because he takes the time to figure out where the finish line is before he goes.  This is why Batman headed south when The Flash headed north.  In our story we’ll pretend that The Flash was so excited about racing that he took off before ever knowing where the finish line was.  This probably sounds pretty comical.  This is a silly gag that would show up in a poorly written comic.  You’d probably read this and say, “Come on!  The Flash would never do anything like that.”

Now here’s the gut check.  How often are you sprinting at work without understanding where the finish line is?  This never happens to me, because I’m so awesome.  However, I have a friend who likes superheroes and has two daughters and I hear this has happened to him before.  My friend even told me it has happened to him over the past month.  My friend says, he probably shouldn’t admit his shortcomings, but the last time he checked he’s still human and he still can’t walk on water, so mistakes are part of being human.  My friend wonders if anyone else has made the same mistake.  (<-Comic sans font equals obnoxious sarcasm) 

Bottom line:  It is way too easy to get sucked into the flurry of activity, the need to feel like you’re sprinting and contributing, but the fact is that speed without the proper direction is useless.  Even worse, speed with the wrong direction can be detrimental.

The Challenge: Before you use your Flash speed, will you use your Batman intellect to locate the finish line?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

How do your shoes impact your walk? (3-23-16)

Last week we ended the series of lessons I’ve learned from my daughters by talking about a game I play with Alice where we build a bridge between two people.  The main idea is that it doesn’t matter how different two people are as long as they are willing to build a bridge to connect them.  This week I want to continue with that theme of connection by talking about shoes.  What shoes are you wearing right now?  How do they impact the way you walk? 

There is an adage that if you want to get to know someone you need to walk a mile in their shoes.  I think another way of looking at this wisdom is to understand how the shoes you wear on a daily basis impact the way you walk and experience the world.  Understanding how your walk might be the same and different from other people is an important ingredient in trying to connect with each other.

I’d like to share a situation where my shoes impact my world.  When I go to the store alone with the girls I can’t tell you how many people say things along the lines of, “You’re such a great dad spending time with your girls.”  Whether it’s verbal or non-verbal the fact is I get bonus points for spending time with my kids in public places.  Basically the world applauds me for buying groceries.  Weird, right?  This doesn’t happen for my wife.  My wife doesn’t get a pat on the back for taking the girls grocery shopping.  Along those same lines nobody ever asks or expects me to “juggle it all” with work and family.  No one has ever implied that I love my kids less because I work, but this has happened to working moms that I know.  All of these things happen, because I’m a male who happens to be a dad and the expectations from society are different for me and my wife.  In short, my shoes impact my walk.  

The above examples were gender differences between parents.  We could talk all day about other dimensions and I’d be able to share where my shoes make my walk a little different from other folks.  Sometimes it would be positive and sometimes it would be negative.  Overall, it’s easier to say that we are all the same versus dealing with the complexity of everyone walking in different shoes that impact the way we walk.  If we want to have true connections then we need to understand our own shoes and how they make us walk, so we can find the right materials to build bridges. 

The challenge: Do you know how your shoes impact the way you walk?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from Being a Dad Part 6 Building Bridges between Towers (3-16-16)

This will be the last in the series about lessons I’ve learned from my daughters.  We’ve talked about celebrating first steps, recognizing each other, showing appreciation, overcoming obstacles, and saying “Yes!…and” to invisible bull fights.  I want to end this series by talking about a different game I play with Alice that is all about connecting people.

One of Alice’s favorite games is called Camelot Junior.  It’s a puzzle game you play with wooden blocks.  You use those wooden blocks to build bridges to connect two characters.  Each puzzle starts with you setting up the knight and princess on two separate towers.  Then you use blocks to build a bridge, so the two characters can meet in the middle.  In our house, the characters meet in the middle to talk about really important stuff like dragons, saving the kingdom from bad guys, and dance moves.

After you connect the two characters you move to the next challenge.  The game comes with an instruction book that tells you how to set up different puzzles and which blocks you are allowed to use to build the bridge in each situation.  As you progress throughout the game, connecting the characters becomes more and more difficult as the characters are placed further apart and you have to use blocks in new and creative ways to build the bridge.

What does this have to do with anything?  Much like the game, life is about building bridges between two people, so they can connect in the middle.  Depending on the two people and their backgrounds, they might start out really close together or they could be really far apart.  In the grand scheme of things, the distance between the two people doesn’t matter.  What matters is whether or not you are willing to try to bridge that gap.  All that matters is whether or not you are willing and able to find the right blocks to start building a bridge to connect with other people.  Are you willing to take the first step and begin building the bridge?  Are you willing to put in the time to understand others, so you can find new blocks that will connect you with each other? 

The challenge:  How are you building a bridge between you and the people around you?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from Being a Dad Part 5 Obstacles and Invisible Bullfights (3-9-16)

Last week was a story about Violet and her determination to overcome obstacles to get cookies.  This week we’ll explore how we can be the obstacles that get in way of greatness.

A few weeks ago my family had just finished dinner when Alice said, “I have an idea!  Let’s have a bullfight.”  What would you do in that situation?  You might have said no.  You might have hesitated, because that seemed weird.  You might have been afraid of trying something new.  Maybe you didn’t have the energy.  You might have tried to rationalize why that may not be a good idea.  Me and my wife looked at each other and said, “Yes!…and we’ll use the blankets as matador capes!” 

We turned on some music, and then the bullfight began.  There were flurries of blankets, flourishes, and smooth moves.  It started with Alice and Violet being the bulls, and we had to catch them.  Then, out of nowhere Alice said, the bull is invisible, and Diane (my wife) and I said, “Yes… and we all need to catch him!”   The invisible bull was everywhere.  It got me and my wife.  Alice had to save Violet and Violet had to save Alice a million times.  We went running through the house jumping over couch cushions, using chairs to block the bull, and fighting it with our matador/ninja skills.  At one point my wife became a T-rex and Alice was riding her to catch the bull (see pic).  It was intense and crazy amounts of fun. 

So what does fighting an imaginary invisible bull have to do with YOU being an obstacle?  When people come to you with new ideas, how do you respond?  Are you the obstacle?  Do you say no, do you hesitate, or do you give them the green light to keep sharing and exploring?  Besides people coming to you with ideas, are you your own obstacle when you have ideas?  When you dream big things, how do you respond?  Do you allow fear, skepticism, or feeling tired get in the way?  Do you press on and keep exploring?

When Alice asked if we wanted to have a bullfight, we could have told Alice no, because her idea was weird.  If I did that to her over and over again sooner or later, she’d stop sharing ideas.  Instead, we said, “Yes, and…” we evolved with the game.  Imagination takes time to grow, so if you crush new ideas in the beginning you never have the opportunity to harvest their spectacular fruit.

The challenge:  Will you say, “Yes, and…” to the next invisible bullfight that comes your way?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons from Being a Dad Part 4 What if we unlearned that obstacles should stop us? (3-2-16)

We’ve talked about recognition and appreciation, so now it’s time to switch gears to talk about determination.  This is one of my favorite pictures of Violet.  This is her, “Nothing is going to stop me!” look.

Since she was born, Violet has been strong, ornery, and stubborn.  (Where did those traits come from?)  I believe these super powers of hers are magnified by the fact that she’s a toddler.  If you ever want to see true focused “you can’t stop me” determination, you should try to put obstacles in a toddler’s way.  I don’t think that toddlers understand the fact that obstacles are supposed to slow them down or stop them.  I think this is something they learn over time.  Instead of being limited by obstacles, they are so focused on achieving their goal that they just power through.

For example, the other day Violet wanted some cookies.  We told her no and put them on the kitchen island out of her reach.  We thought that would end the situation.  We were wrong.  We were playing and all of a sudden we realize Violet had snuck away.  Violet had moved a kitchen chair and a bar stool to the island.  We watched as she got onto the kitchen chair to climb on the bar stool to get on top of the island.  She smiled to herself as she opened up the tub of cookies and grabbed one.  I’m not sure this was the best parenting move, but I let her have the cookie.  I had way too much appreciation for the determination and problem solving 😉 

This is one example.  She has figured out baby gates, childproof locks, etc.  In each of these instances, Violet could have looked at the obstacle, decided it would be too hard to overcome, and gave up.  However, she doesn’t know what an obstacle is, so she doesn’t know it’s supposed to stop her.  Instead, she views the obstacle as something she’ll have to power through to get to her goal.

What would happen if we started to look at obstacles like Violet?  What if we unlearned the fact that obstacles are supposed to stop us?  How would that change the way you worked and lived your life?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry