Coach Yourself as You would Coach Others (1-30-19)

Last week was about giving meaningful feedback. This week is about showing yourself the same level of coaching compassion as you do others. What you are about ready to read is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

A few months ago, Bob and I were talking. Bob is brand new to his role and feeling overwhelmed. He’s used to being in a role where he was competent and knew what he was doing, and now he’s playing an entirely different ball game. Bob is concerned, anxious, excited, feeling incompetent, full of doubt, etc. When I talk to Bob, I listen to him, try to understand him, and show empathy. Then, I say something along the lines of, “I have a lot of love for you Bob. You’re brand new. Everything you’re feeling is exactly what you should be feeling right now. You’re not going to get good overnight. It’s going to take a few months. In fact, I’m proud of you, because I’ve seen that you have already started to pick up on a few things. You’re making great progress and are already starting to make an impact. If you want to continue to grow, here are a few things to think about. In the meantime, keep being you and adding value where you can, because that’s what this team needs you to do right now.” From there I share a few other thoughts and considerations with Bob, and I can tell that he appreciates the conversation.

A few weeks ago, Joe and I were talking. Joe is brand new to his role, and was in a very similar situation to Bob with similar feelings and everything. I didn’t really make an effort to understand Joe or empathize with him. Instead, when I talked to Joe I said something along the lines of, “You’re kind of behind aren’t you? Shouldn’t you have started picking up on this stuff by now? What value are you even bringing to the team? Are you sure you can do this stuff? People told you that you’d be good at this role, so shouldn’t you be good by now?” This conversation doesn’t help Joe much.

At this point you’re probably saying, “Why were you so good to Bob and so bad to Joe?” It’s quite simple. Joe’s real name is Andrew Embry and Bob isn’t Andrew Embry. I’ve found throughout my career that when it comes to helping others I’m filled with patience, compassion, and a willingness to help. When it comes to helping others, I usually find some kind of perspective that is valuable to the person I’m assisting. I’ve found when it comes to myself, I lose this perspective and fall down the rabbit hole of self-doubt and having ridiculously high expectations. Do any of you do the same thing? Do any of you treat Bob better than “Joe” (aka yourself)?

With all that said, I’m making a concentrated effort to approach myself differently, by approaching myself like I would approach any other person. When I start to find myself stuck, frustrated, frozen, and filled with self-doubt, I ask myself, “What would I tell someone else who came to me with that problem? If ‘Pat’ came to me, what would I say? What would I ask? How would I empathize with them?” It’s amazing how much better perspective and how much more grace I give myself if I pretend I’m talking to someone else. As a result of all of this, I’m trying to take the advice I’m giving to other people. If I’m being entirely honest with myself, I’m not entirely competent right now in my newer role, and that’s okay. It’s okay for me to admit this and own this, because this is where I am right now. At the same time, while I may not be entirely competent in all of the technical ways I will need to be, there are still ways for me to add value, and that’s what I need to focus on while I continue to settle in and find where I belong on this team.

The challenge: Treat yourself as well as you’d treat others.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Transformers and More than Meets the Eye (12-5-18)

This is the final entry on lessons we can learn from cartoons. We started with Pinky and The Brain and having the grit and determination to take over the world. From there, we moved to Avatar and reflected on where we draw our strength from. Then, we moved Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles thoughts about evolving with changing context. After that we reflected on Inspector Gadget and lifting others up to be seen. In our final entry, we will focus on Transformers and seeing beyond the surface.

When I was a little kid (4 or 5), I loved Transformers. I was so obsessed with the cartoon that I called family members by Transformer’s names. My grandma was Bumblebee and my aunt was Sideswipe. During my aunt’s wedding I’ve been told that I yelled, “Hurry up Sideswipe, walk down here!” as she was walking down the aisle. (And you thought I couldn’t get any nerdier or charming. #alwaysreadytogotothenextnerdylevel)

Anyway, in case you aren’t familiar with Transformers it is about an alien race locked in a civil war. There are the heroic Autobots led by Optimus Prime and the evil Decepticons led by Megatron. These robotic aliens became known as Transformers, because they had the ability to transform from robot form to another form to blend in with their surroundings. Most of the time, they took on the shape of some kind of vehicle, but sometimes they would change into other things like a radio, giant microscope, or even dinosaurs.

So what do Transformers have to do with anything? You might be aware of the fact that Transformers is often associated with the tagline “more than meets the eye”. This is because of the fact that in this universe a person could see a car on the road, but maybe it wasn’t just a car. Maybe it was a robot. Maybe it was an Autobot. Maybe it was a Decepticon. There was always more to it than first glance, and you never quite knew what you would end up discovering.

This all reminds me of people. We are all Transformers, meaning that often what you see on the surface isn’t the only thing there. People are often “more than meets the eye”. How many times in life have you looked at someone and said, “Yep, I know who exactly who and what they are,” and then later been surprised by how much additional depth was there? I know it happens to me. At first glance it’s easy to take in the first thing you see, but it requires patience, curiosity, and the willingness to learn about each other to see what might be below the surface.

The challenge: How often do you remember that people are “more than meets the eye”?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Inspector Gadget and Recognizing Others for their Contributions (11-28-18)

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Last week’s blog was about Ninja Turtles and evolving with changing context. This week is about Inspector Gadget, Penny, Brain, and lifting up those who contribute to the team’s success (because this what we need to do to ensure we can take over the world).

In case you aren’t familiar, the cartoon follows the adventures of Inspector Gadget, a sort of cyborg, as he works to thwart the evil Dr. Claw and his M.A.D. agents. Inspector Gadget’s body is filled with various inventions and enhancements from his infamous “go-go gadget arms” to his “gadget copter” and “gadget phone”. Always accompanying Inspector Gadget are his niece, Penny, and dog, Brain. Brain and Penny often work behind the scenes, unbeknownst to Gadget, in order to help him save the day. At the end of the adventure, they all save the day, Dr. Claw retreats, and Gadget is given the accolades for defeating Dr. Claw again.

You might be wondering where this is going. The problem I’ve always had with Inspector Gadget is that Penny and Brain don’t ever get the respect and recognition they deserve. Sure, Inspector Gadget has some pretty amazing abilities, and he does his part to help save the day. However, Penny and Brain are huge contributors too, and they are never seen for this. Inspector Gadget, the Chief, and the others are oblivious to their contributions.

This reminds me of work sometimes. Often, we applaud the “title character” in the form of the supervisor, project leader, etc. and we fail to recognize, appreciate, and value all of the people working outside of the spotlight. Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever thought to yourself, “Sure, they were the leader, but they didn’t get there on their own”? The fact is that without Penny and Brain, Inspector Gadget would fail miserably. In the same way, without all of the people working “behind” the scenes, the person in the spotlight wouldn’t get there either.

All of this doesn’t mean that Inspector Gadget is bad. It just means he can do better. We can do better. We can make the choice to elevate those people who need to be seen. It just takes us being intentional enough to do this, and being strong enough to lift them up. I try to remind myself that if my go-go gadget arms are large enough to wrap around a project and lead through it, then they are also strong enough to ensure I lift up the people who need to be recognized.

The challenge: Are you lifting up the people who need to be seen? Lift someone up today. Seriously, stop what you’re doing. Take a quick second and send an email to someone to lift them up. Then, go the extra step and forward that email to the person’s boss so the boss knows that person is awesome. It will take all of 5 minutes, and will make the week for the person.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Ninja Turtles and Evolving with Changing Context (11-20-18)

Last week was about Avatar and finding your strength. This week is about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and evolving with changing context. In case you don’t know anything about ninja turtles, essentially it is a story of 4 anthropomorphic turtles, who are trained to be ninjas and fight bad guys. I grew up at the height of the TMNT craze in the late 1980s and early 1990s. During this time period, the cartoon was a fun loving, light hearted show, filled with goofy antics and a love for pizza. When many people think of ninja turtles they think of this cartoon, embodied by the image to the right.

The interesting thing is that the version of the turtles depicted in the image isn’t the only one. It’s not even the original version. The original version of the ninja turtles was a comic book that was quite a bit more serious and darker than anything in the show. Throughout the years, the turtles have evolved to fit their time period. There were goofy ninja turtle cartoons in the 90s along with movies that were serious and filled with slapstick. The early 2000s brought turtles that were more serious like the original version. The live action movies in the 2000s reimagined the turtles in more unique ways with cutting edge CGI animation. The most recent version of the cartoon throws the turtles into mystical elements.

You’re probably wondering what teenage mutant ninja turtles has to do with work. I think the show is an interesting example of adapting to changing context and times. Throughout all of its reincarnations, the core of the show remains the same. At its core, the show is about 4 brothers learning how to work as a team as they fight bad guys. However, the tone, characters, plotlines, and other items evolve based on new context and unique reimaginings. The ninja turtles of today wouldn’t have worked 30 years ago, and the turtles I grew up with 30 years ago wouldn’t have worked today.

I’d argue that we are all ninja turtles. The core part of us often stays the same, but we have the chance to adapt as our context changes. For example, I’m a dot connecting storyteller. That will always be true for me. At the same time, my stories change as my context changes. The stories I tell as poet Andrew in Lilly are different than the stories poet Andrew tells outside of Lilly, because the surroundings, audience, and expectations are different. The stories sales rep Andrew are different from the ones I told when I worked in communications and was trying to leverage organizational change tools to tell stories through others. As a market researcher, I tell stories all the time, synthesized through frameworks I never used before I took this role. Basically, as I gain new experiences my context changes, so I pick up new tools, frameworks, perspectives, etc. to help me tell new and engaging stories. Just like the ninja turtles, it’s the same core show (skillset), just merely applied in different ways to meet my surroundings. With that said, I think we all have a chance to grow as the context around us changes. We just have to be willing to choose to evolve, rather than stay stagnant.

The challenge: Who are you at your core? How are you adapting to changing context?

Have a jolly good day and a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Andrew Embry

Avatar, Waterbending, and Tapping into Strength (11-14-18)

Last week was about Pink and the Brain and taking over the world. This week is about Avatar: The Last Airbender, waterbending, and accessing strength (so you can take over the world). Avatar: The Last Airbender is one of my favorite cartoons of all time. In case you aren’t familiar with the show it is a series about being alone, finding yourself, building friendships, good, evil, and growth. All of that packed into a kid’s cartoon. Pretty deep stuff. Anyway, the show introduces you to a world where “bending” exists. Bending is the ability manipulate elements such as earth, fire, air, and water.

The picture up top is Aang, the main character, practicing waterbending. Individuals blessed with the ability to bend, leverage martial art techniques to manipulate the elements. When it comes to waterbending, one of the most important things to understand is that the more water you have around you, the more powerful you can be. So, if you’re in a desert, your waterbending is going to be weak. However, if you were standing in the ocean, your power could almost be limitless.

We’re getting a little weird, so let’s get weirder. What if I told you that we are all waterbenders? Obviously, I don’t mean that I believe we can all manipulate water. What I do believe is that we all have strengths and sources of power that we can tap into. I also believe that if we surround ourselves with the right people and energy that we put ourselves in a better position to tap into this power.

What I’m about to say will sound dumb, but hang in there with me. One of the most important things I do at work is include memes and goofy pictures in emails I send to people. Yep, you read that correctly. One of the most important things I do at work is send memes to people. It’s also important for me to wear superhero socks, be in a general state of nerdiness, constantly be making jokes, use sarcasm, and tell stories in unique ways. It’s also incredibly important for me to be surrounded by people with positive energy and joy.

If you would look at those things, you couldn’t draw direct lines to my effectiveness or productivity, so you might be wondering why they are so important. Here is how I think about it. I “bend” creative energy. I connect things and people. That’s my power. Essentially, all of those things I listed off (socks, nerdiness, good energy, sending memes, making jokes, generally giving me the space to be weird, etc.) keep me surrounded by “water”. If I can have all of these things it means I’m in the right culture, surrounded by the right people to give me what I need. If I can have all of those things, I’m a water bender standing in the middle of the ocean, where my power is near limitless. In this state, I am as powerful as I can be, and most equipped to make a meaningful difference. Is this making any sense? Have you ever felt like this, where you were surrounded by all of the right people and things to help you tap into your strength? Have you ever been on teams where you weren’t surrounded by the right things, and it was difficult to tap into your strengths (like a water bender in the desert)?

The challenge: What are the things you need in order to surround yourself with “water”? What are you doing to give “water” to others? Give someone some water today.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Pinky and the Brain- Trying to Take over the World! (11-7-18)

This week we are going to start a series inspired by my favorite cartoons. This week I want us to reflect on Pinky and the Brain and driving to achieve high goals.

In case you’re unfamiliar, Pinky and the Brain were two characters on a cartoon called Animaniacs. Their show is about two lab mice, Pinky, a happy go lucky fellow, and Brain, an evil diabolical genius. Every episode of the show revolved around Brain’s attempts to take over the world. During each episode Brain would invent some amazing machine or use some mathematical formula to come within inches of world domination, and then at the last minute something would go wrong and his goal would slip from his grasp. Every episode would also include the scene captured in the image on the right where Brain reaffirmed his desire to keep trying to take over the world. That’s right. Even after falling short every single time, Brain stayed focused, got back up, dusted himself off, and went back to trying to take over the world.

You might see where this is going. Brain sets a ridiculously high goal, and then he pursues that goal with fierce focus and tenacity. He fails and he keeps going. Something goes wrong and he keeps going. His device blows up and he keeps going. While I don’t want us to be evil diabolical masterminds, I do think we could learn a lot from Brain’s fierce focus and tenacity.

What is your version of “trying to take over the world”? For myself, I’ve spent the year working on ways to step my game up. I wanted to help more people, have more impact, provide more value, increase my mastery at work, etc. As far as what success would look like, when it came to my job, my goal has been to be so damn good that I made everything look and feel effortless. I wanted to provide so much value that people would look at me and say, “He has to be a legit wizard. That’s the only rational explanation for how he does what he does.” I knew if I operated at this level, then I’d be making a substantial difference in the lives of people within the walls of my company and outside of those walls as well, which would be my version of “taking over the world.” (I know. It’s kind of silly and ridiculous, but if a cartoon mouse can dream of taking over the world, I can dream of being recognized as a wizard.)

With all that said, I never took over the world. I never achieved full-fledged wizard status. I continually fell short. I made mistakes. I mismanaged situations. I didn’t influence and change the lives of all the people I wanted to. I didn’t always know the answers. I took wrong turns and the wrong steps. I wasn’t always operating at that “wizard” level. I’m not angry/mad/upset/sad about any of those things. They are just facts of life. Much like Brain, when these setbacks occurred I was irritated, but then I gained sight of my goal and went back to “trying to take over the world”. While I never quite got to the level I wanted to get to, I know with 100% certainty that I grew and became a lot better this year. I am closer to being a wizard than I have ever been, and it’s all because every morning when I woke up I wanted to do the same thing I did every other morning, try to “take over the world!”

The challenge: What is your version of “taking over the world”? Are you chasing that goal with focus and tenacity?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Vampires and Willpower (10-24-18)

Last week was about being haunted by ghosts. This week is about vampires and will power. Let’s imagine for a moment that we lived in a world where vampires were real. Now, when I say vampires, I mean true vampires, not that sparkling when they step out into the sun Twilight garbage. I’m talking about nocturnal creatures who lure unsuspecting victims into situations and then suck the life (blood) out of their victims.

What do you think would happen if we lived in a world with actual vampires? I think two things would happen. First, we would begin setting up things to prevent run ins with vampires. For example, we might cover houses with crosses and holy water, refuse to invite people into the house, only go out during the daytime, etc. Second, we’d train so would be prepared if we did run into a vampire. We would become proficient in weapons ranging from swords made from silver, mace made from garlic, UV lamps, and the classic stakes through the heart. Essentially, we would become like Buffy or Blade. In case you’re curious, Blade is essentially a half-human half-vampire superhero who hunts vampires, and it happened to be one of the movies my wife and I watched on our first date. (Explains a lot about our relationship). The only reason why we don’t prepare for vampire battles is because vampires aren’t real.

You might be wondering where this is heading. What if I told you vampires are real? In this instance, I’m not talking about blood sucking lords of the dead. I’m talking about things that deplete your will power and motivation. These vampires are all around us. They take the form of people, crowded schedules, lost time, lack of priorities, and a fast moving world. If we knew that blood sucking vampires were real, we would take actions to prevent and defend against their attacks. It’s safe to say that vampires that deplete your will power and motivation are real, so are you taking the time to figure out how to prevent and defend against their attacks?

Embry example. I don’t necessarily have the healthiest of eating habits. Vampires easily drain my willpower to make healthy choices. Over time, I’ve learned that I need to fight those vampires. I’ve found that one of the best things I can do is sign up to run races. I don’t particularly love running. I’m not good at running. I don’t have a runner’s physique. However, scheduling a race is a commitment and the training plan is a commitment, and for some reason I’m better honoring an external commitment than honoring an internal promise to eat better. On the days that I train I eat better, not because I’m trying to make healthy choices, but because if I eat like crap I can’t train and if I don’t train I will feel like a failure. I’d rather avoid feeling like a loser than gain the feeling of being healthy. Basically, signing up for races for me is like wearing a necklace made of garlic while telling vampires to come get some.

You can apply these same things at work as well. Once you identify what sucks your willpower you can find ways to deal with these things ahead of time and in the moment. You can control your schedule, when you do the work, who you spend time with, the systems and frameworks you will use to attack the work to make things simpler. You can figure out the system that works best for you that keeps willpower sucking vampires at bay. You just have to spend a little time to do this.

The challenge: How do you prevent and defend against willpower sucking vampires?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Haunted by Ghosts (10-17-18)

With Halloween just around the corner, I’d like to start a new series about lessons we can learn from spooky things. We’ll begin by reflecting on what we can learn from ghost stories.

At some point in your life you’ve probably watched a scary movie involving ghosts or you’ve heard a scary story involving ghosts and haunted houses. No matter the story, the plots share some similarities. It usually begins when people move into a “normal” looking house, often out in the country. From there, people begin to notice a few odd things. Doors open on their own. Lights flicker. Things seem to move without anyone touching them. Soon, things escalate and become scary. At this point one of the people in the house notices the ghost for the first time and realizes that the place is haunted. From there, people try to uncover why the place is haunted and it’s usually because something terrible has happened there. The ghost is in so much pain that they are then tethered to that house. It is then up to the people to figure out how to get the ghost out of the house. Usually it involves righting the wrong or helping the ghost get through emotional trauma.

What do ghosts and haunted houses have to do with work? Have you ever been haunted by something? I’m guessing you probably haven’t been haunted by a ghost. (If you have been, I’d love to hear the story) You might have been haunted by something else though. If you’re anything like me, you are haunted by different things from time to time. I’ve found myself haunted by self-doubt. I’ve found myself haunted by regret and mistakes. I’ve found myself haunted by the idea I’m not making a unique difference, because other people could do my job and create the same deliverables. Have you ever been haunted by any of those things?

All of those things are scarier to me than any monster from a horror movie. When I’m hit with these things, they take control over me. These things then tether me to a place filled with anger, sadness, irritation, and other negative emotions. Similar to ghost stories, I’ve found that when I’m hit with these things I need to find a way to rid my mind of them. Often it requires me to try to make up for my mistake, gaining a broader perspective on life, or simply realizing that the issue isn’t worth hanging onto.

The challenge: Are you allowing yourself to be haunted? How are you getting rid of those “ghosts”?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Potatoes and Transformation (10-10-18)

This will be the final entry in the series about food and cooking. We started by thinking about playing our role in any given situation. From there, we reflected on leadership style vs. competency. Then, we shifted to think about flavor combinations, belonging, and inclusion. Additionally, we thought about following recipes to drive better engagement, and last week was about being daring enough to expand our flavor palettes. This week is about potatoes and transformation.

Before we talk about potatoes, let’s think about apples. Apples are delicious. I love a good honey crisp apple. With an apple, you pick it up, brush it off (or wash it if you’re into being clean), and you eat it. It’s instantly amazing. It doesn’t require any extra effort.

Potatoes don’t work like apples. You don’t pick a potato out of the dirt and start eating it right away. Potatoes take work. Potatoes are most delicious when they are transformed, and I would say that potatoes have a large range of things they can become. Clean a potato and throw it in the oven and it becomes a baked potato (add in some butter, cheese, and bacon, and you have magic). Slice a potato and fry it and you could have fried potatoes, one of my favorite breakfast foods. You could deep fry potatoes and turn them into French fries, waffle fries, or tater tots. Potatoes could be turned into all kind of different potato chips. You could turn a potato into smashed potatoes. You could dice potatoes and throw them in a casserole. You could turn potatoes into mashed potatoes, and then if you are awesome you could turn leftover mashed potatoes into potato cakes. Some potatoes even grow up to become vodkas. The variability is amazing! Bonus, potatoes can even power flashlights. Tell me that isn’t cool.

You might be wondering what this has to do with work. I’d argue that we aren’t apples. We aren’t ripe for picking already at a high level of instantaneous delicious awesomeness. We won’t become bruised and disgusting if we fall off a tree or are dropped. Instead, we are all potatoes. We are all pulled from the ground, covered in dirt, and filled with potential. All that is left for us is to figure out what kind of potato we are going to be. This won’t be easy. Potatoes require work, and so do humans. To reach our potential we have to go through a transformation. Often, these transformations are caused by some kind of challenges, and they are never easy. A potato gets beat up, smashed, cooked, and sliced, but it comes out better on the other side. In the same way, we get beat up, confused, lost, and hurt, but we have the chance to come out better on the other side. It’s up to us to make sure we transform into something better.

The challenge: Who and what are you transforming into?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Picky Eaters and Mindsets (10-3-18)

Last week was about cooking on instinct vs. following recipes. This week is about being a picky eater and mindsets.

My two girls are picky eaters. Alice (6) is growing out of it a bit, but Violet (4) is stuck in her stubborn picky ways (#punk). Here is how this plays out. We put something new in front of them. They come to the table knowing they aren’t going to like any food we put in front of them. They take a look at it and decide instantly that they don’t like it. We tell them that they haven’t even tried it, so they can’t judge it yet. They begin to poke the food with their forks and come up with reasons why they won’t like it before even tasting, so we make them try the food. Sometimes, they end up liking the meal. Sometimes, they don’t like it. It’s annoying that we go through this every time, when they could just try it without the hassle. Has anyone else out there experienced this with their kids?

You might be wondering what this has to do with anything. I’d say that are three connections to be made. First, the way you experience life is often dictated by your mindset going into it. My girls enter new food situations with the mindset of, “I don’t like this,” so they often don’t like new foods. On the other hand, if they approached a new meal with, “This is going to be interesting,” then they’d be more open to trying new things and would probably enjoy them more. What mindset do you have as you approach new situations? How open is your mindset?

Another connection is that I’d argue that people are often picky “eaters”. It may not be with food, but we get stuck in our routines, our habits, our thought process, our beliefs, etc. and we convince ourselves that is the only thing we should support. This happens all the time at work, with politics, and with disagreements of any sort. How often have you shared an idea with someone and it got shut down right away, just because it wasn’t what they were used to? Now be honest with yourself. How often do you shut down other ideas without really giving them a try, because they aren’t what you are used to?

The third connection comes back to what you are comfortable “eating”. My girls love mac and cheese. That is their comfort zone. It’s not bad having mac and cheese every now and then, but if it were up to them it’s all they would eat. Eating the same stuff, especially that stuff, doesn’t give their body the variety it needs. It’s not healthy. Likewise, people become engrained in their thoughts and world views, not realizing that only consuming their worldview doesn’t give them the variety it needs. In fact, it’s unhealthy. Be honest with yourself. When was the last time you had a disagreement and tried to move beyond your comfort zone to understand the other side of the issue? How much time do you spend merely reinforcing your worldview vs. exploring worldviews held by other people?

The challenge: Are you being a “picky eater” or are you giving other “dishes” a fair taste test?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry