Are you investing in relationships when times are tough? (5-13-20)

This week we are going to start a series inspired by investments.  This week is about investing in relationships, even when times are tough.

COVID has unleashed ripple effects across our entire economy which has created volatility in the market.  As a result, there have been many individuals who have withdrawn their investments and/or stopped investing.  Instead, they focus on conserving whatever resources they currently have.  The individuals who are doing this are focused primarily on the short-term.  Other individuals might look at things more long-term and choose to continue to invest during these times, believing that the long-term benefits will be more than what they are currently putting into the market.

What does this have to do with anything?  What if I told you the above situation wasn’t about money or stocks?  What if I told you the above situation was about investing in your relationships with others?  How would that change how you thought about things?

I don’t know about you, but in times of stress I’ve found that it is easy for me to become consumed by work or the situation at hand.  As a result, I stop putting time and effort into the relationships with the people around me, and I withdraw inside myself.  This might help me short-term, because it conserves energy.  However, long-term those relationships have weakened and have lost the opportunity to grow into what they could have been.  I’d argue that when times are tough it’s even MORE important to invest in the relationships with the people around you, and the pay-off on that investment will be 10 fold whatever you put in.  As I reflect on the people I’m most loyal to, the people I would give the most effort, love, time, and resources, they are all the people who invested in me when things were tough.

The challenge: Times are tough.  Are you investing in the relationships with the people around you?

In case you’re looking for some inspiration or a nudge, here are some thoughts about how you can invest in relationships right now

  • Don’t underestimate the power of a quick text.  Whether it’s a meme, a gif, a bitmoji, an emoji, a joke, or a quick word it can be incredibly powerful.  Not all investments have to be huge lump sums.  Often the best investments are ones where we keep adding to the account over time.
  • Write an email/letter of gratitude and appreciation for someone.  It will be the best 5 minutes to spend all day.
  • Share how you’re feeling with someone else.  Sometimes the best investment is vulnerability, and admitting that things are quite perfect.  It’s amazing how that can help bring you and someone else closer together.
  • My team is currently in an awesome groove with virtual happy hours.  I think the secret is having a little structure.  My teammate leads them and they each have a theme and a question of the day for us to answer.  I never thought this would be my jam, but they are the highlight of my week and something I hope we continue even after we go back to the workplace.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Photography and Being Present (5-6-20)

Bond of Brothers by David Lloyd

Happy Wednesday,

This is our last in the series inspired by art.  We started with painting over our mistakes, reflected on how mosaics are what true inclusion is about, explored how messiness is often the price of greatness, and last week was about what we see in a painting and situation.  This week is about photography and being present.  The photos come from https://www.theguardian.com/environment/gallery/2020/jan/01/the-best-of-2019-wildlife-photography-awards-in-pictures. 

Photography has always fascinated me, because at its heart it is about capturing a moment.  The camera can’t dwell on the past, replaying the mistakes it has made and the things it wishes it could do over.  The camera can’t get lost in the future, worrying about what might come to be.  Instead, the camera can only capture what is in front of it in that specific moment.

How does this connect to life?  There is incredible power in photography, because it is fully present.  The photo captures that one moment in time in all its beauty, joy, sadness, pain, splendor, or any other emotion.  To see a picture is to be brought to that moment and nowhere else.  I often find myself lost in the past or the future, concerned about things I did or worried about what might come.  I get lost in the business of the day to day grind and stop seeing what is in front of me.  As I reflect, I wish sometimes that I was more like a photographer with their camera, fully immersed in the moment, taking it all in, and experiencing all that moment has to offer.  I wish I did that better as a husband, a dad, a friend, an employee, and a human.

The challenge: How can you do better at living in the moment?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

What do you see in the picture? (4-29-20)

Last week was about how messiness is often the price of greatness. This week is about what you see in a painting, a person, or a situation.

Take a moment and look at the image.  What do you see?  What do you notice?  The painting is called “Wheatfield with Cypresses” and was painted by Vincent Van Gogh.  When you look at the image you might notice a variety of things.  You might notice it is an oil painting.  You might notice the large trees.  You might notice the billowing clouds.  You might notice the soft swirl that created the wheat field.  If you’re my daughter Alice you notice the collection of the rocks/bushes/small trees to the left of the painting and how it looks like a rock monster.  I’m guessing you didn’t see the rock monster.  However, if you were a young Pokémon fan, maybe you would have seen the rock monster too.  I’d imagine that’s not exactly what Van Gogh was going for, but he still is bringing her joy 😉

What does this have to do with anything?  Every situation, every conversation, every self-reflection is a painted canvas for us to observe, and we will all see different things.  What we see is often shaped by our experiences and our context.  The trick is that as we grow older we get more set in our ways and often lose the ability to see the wide variety of things we once could when we were kids, like hidden rock monsters.  When you are presented with a challenge, what do you see?  Do you see the obstacles and all the things that will stop you?  Do you see the opportunities and the different ways you can succeed?  Whether you see mainly obstacles or mainly opportunities, drastically changes what you see.  When you meet others do you see their flaws first or their potential?  When you look at yourself do you see your beauty or your shortcomings? 

The challenge:  What will you see in the canvases (people and situations) placed in front of you?  Will you see light and love?  Will you see darkness and despair?  Will you see all these things and more?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Cooking, Messiness, and the Price of Greatness (4-22-20)

Last week was about mosaics, diversity, and inclusion.  This week is about the art of cooking and the price of greatness.  It was a Saturday morning.  I woke up and cleaned the house from top to bottom with the help of my daughters.  If they help they get more screen time, and that is a huge motivator (#parentinggenius).  Anyway, that morning I had deep cleaned the kitchen.  The counters were spotless.  The sink was gleaming.  The dishwasher was empty, and the stove looked like it was brand new.

Later that night my wife was baking.  She looked at the ingredients she had spilled on the island, the dirty dishes littering the counters, the smudges on what I had perfected earlier that morning and she said, “I’m sorry I just ruined the kitchen you cleaned.”  Without missing a beat, I responded, “That’s the price of deliciousness, and I’m happy to pay that.”  (#smooth #getonmylevel) Sure, I had worked hard on cleaning the kitchen.  Yes, she had completely ruined my hard work in a matter of minutes.  However, my wife is an amazing baker, and I knew whatever she was creating was going to be incredible, and well worth the mess.  I could always clean the kitchen again, but I can’t easily reproduce what my wife makes.

How does this connect with anything?  Cooking, like any other art, is an expression of creativity that can lead to greatness.  More importantly, in my experience creativity makes things messy on its way to greatness.  Sometimes it’s messy in the form of a dirty kitchen or spilled paint.  Sometimes it’s messy in the form of whiteboards with arrows everywhere and conversations where people are thinking out loud while wading through the mud to get somewhere. 

Getting to greatness is always a bit messy, so it’s important to be aware of how you respond to this messiness.  There are some individuals who get frustrated by the messiness and try to shut it down.  They don’t want to allow things to move forward until they are perfect.  This creates a stifling environment where people aren’t comfortable sharing and exploring ideas.  There are other individuals who are comfortable with the messiness, because they know it is the price you have to pay for greatness.  These individuals let things play out, ask questions to help others think through things, and ultimately are patient enough for the messiness to transform into something.  What kind of person are you?

The challenge:  Will you get frustrated by the messiness and stifle creativity?  Or, will you recognize messiness is the price that must be paid for greatness?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Mosaics, Diversity, and Inclusion (4-15-20)

Last week we started a series about art by examining how we can paint over our mistakes.  This week is about mosaics, diversity, and inclusion.

Mosaics are beautiful pieces of art that have always fascinated me, because you combine things, but you never blend them.  The mosaic is made of several small pieces, and each piece has its own individual integrity, shape, design, color, etc.  At the same time, the individual pieces are part of a larger whole.  Each individual piece has its own role to play in creating the larger picture.  The images in this blog post are of the mosaics my wife made on stepping stones that lead out to our garden. #marriedup

What does this have to do with anything?  Mosaics are an example of what true inclusion should look like.  A mosaic is made of pieces that maintain their individuality, while also contributing to the larger picture.  Mosaics don’t blend.  Mosaics don’t require all of the individual pieces to assimilate.  Making a mosaic requires the creator to understand the piece and where it can fit in a way to add to an image that is larger and more beautiful than the piece can be on its own.  We should all strive for this as we build cultures and teams.

Have you ever been on a great team where you truly felt included?  What caused you to feel that way?  In my case, I’ve felt this way when people have seen me as the individual I am, valued that, and at the same time helped me see my role in something larger.  Those teams and situations always give me joy, engagement, and the fuel I need to get through anything.  Have you ever experienced the opposite?  I have.  I’ve been in situations where my individuality wasn’t valued and where the expectation was to blend in with everything.  I’ve been in situations where all of the members on the team were individuals, and we were never part of something.  At best this was exhausting and at worst this was often toxic.

The challenge: How will you build teams and culture like a mosaic?

Bonus poem about mosaic making

You are an artist making a mosaic,

the pieces dumped in front of you,

tiles and glass of different colors and shapes.

Handle the pieces carefully,

or they will cut you for your carelessness.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Painting and Making Mistakes (4-8-20)

This week I’d like to tell one more story about my daughters and transition us into a series inspired by art.  This week is about painting and making mistakes. 

The picture is of Alice holding a painting she did on her own for a 2nd grade project.  You probably can’t tell looking at the picture, but she initially made a mistake on the eyes.  When she realized her mistake, she got upset with herself and was convinced that she had ruined the painting.  I took her aside explained to her that when people examine paintings, even some of the most famous paintings in the world, that if they look beyond the top layer of paint they can see where the artist initially made a mistake.  They can see where the artist recovered and painted over their mistake, and unless you had the right equipment, you’d never know an error was made in the first place.  I told her she could just paint over her mistake, and the painting would turn out just fine.

What does this have to do with anything?  I don’t know about you, but I can be just like Alice sometimes.  I make one small mistake and think that something is ruined.  The truth is that most of the mistakes and flaws that I see in myself and my work aren’t even seen by other people.  On top of this, even if the mistake is seen, it’s usually something that can be painted over, before it ever impacts the final deliverable.  With everything going on right now it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by supposed mistakes and shortcomings like not being as productive, missed opportunities, not being as on top of things, kids crashing conference calls, etc.  If you feel or experience any of these, it’s okay.  It’s just a sign that you’re human.  When you experience these I hope you can take a deep breath and realize that this mistake is something that most likely will not be noticed and can easily be painted over.  By the time this is all over, you will be a piece of art showcasing your grit, tenacity, and grace, and that beauty is what will be seen.

The challenge: When you make a mistake, will you pause and remember you can probably “paint over it”? 

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Juggling and Giving Yourself Grace (4-2-20)

Link to a poem about this week’s topic. https://www.linkedin.com/posts/andrew-embry-979831b7_juggling-whatreallymatters-activity-6651501699951394816-LnEh

I wanted to share some thoughts I’ve been having lately about feeling overwhelmed. If you’re feeling this way, just know you aren’t alone.

I’ve felt overwhelmed to varying degrees over the past few weeks.  I’ve felt off, tired, sluggish, behind, out of it, stressed, anxious, etc.  As I’ve talked with different folks one of the common themes is that it feels like we are all juggling so much right now.  If you’re anything like me, you’ve felt pressure to keep all of the balls up in the air, and you’ve been anxious about letting things drop.  I was talking to a friend about this and I remembered advice someone gave me.  They said it’s okay to feel like you’re juggling.  The important thing is to understand which balls are made of rubber and which ones are made of glass.  There are some things that will bounce if you drop them and some things that will shatter.  The trick is to know which is which.  This understanding has changed the way I’ve approached things over the past few days, and helped me give others and more importantly myself, the grace and love we deserve. 

The challenge: Do you know which balls are rubber, which ones are glass, and which ones can you just stop juggling?

Special shout out to my teammates and all the other awesome people out there filling my bucket and other people’s buckets.

Peace, health, and love,

Andrew Embry

Rope Swings and Finding a Way Forward (4-1-20)

Last week was about having a clear reward system.  This week is about building a rope swing and finding a way forward instead of always finding barriers.

About a month ago Violet asked me for some string.  I gave her a thing of string and she went back upstairs.  She had been quite for too long, so I went upstairs to see what she was doing.  Our upstairs looks down over our entry way.  She had taken the string and woven it through the railing.  I asked her what she was doing and she replied that she was making a rope swing.  At that critical moment I could have responded in a few different ways.  Most obviously, I could have told her that was a bad idea and she couldn’t do it.  Instead, I said, “I like your idea.  I’m not sure if string is strong enough to hold you if you swing, so how could we make this work?”  She paused for a moment and then said that rope would probably be strong enough to hold her.  We didn’t have any rope at the time, so I told her we would get some.  A couple of weeks ago we got some rope, and as soon as we got it we built a rope swing in our house.  You’ll notice a green blanket around the rope in the picture.  That was Violet’s idea to protect her hands.  Pretty clever if I can say so. 😉

What does this have to do with anything?  My wife and I are trying to raise girls who are willing to try new things and bring new ideas to the table.  In order to promote that we try to create an environment where we work to find ways forward instead of always finding barriers.  Think about work for a minute.  How often have you shared a new idea with someone and the first thing out of their mouth was all the reasons why we CAN’T do something?  How did that feel?  I don’t know about you, but those situations take a lot of my energy and eventually make me want to give up on new ideas.  On the other hand, how often have your brought ideas to people and they helped you find a way forward?  How did that feel?  Even if the way forward wasn’t the same idea I initially discussed, the fact that someone was helping me find a path forward boosted my engagement.  It also made me willing to come back to that person, because I knew they would be a help vs. a wall to run into.

The challenge: As a leader how can you help people find a way forward vs. a wall that will stop them?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Reward Systems, Scoring Points, and Knowing Where You Are (3-25-20)

Last week was about Alice, the science fair, and teaching people to do things on their own.  This week is about reward systems, scoring points, and knowing where you are. 

Back in 2019 my wife and I came up with a reward system based on the Harry Potter House Cup system where the students earn points for good behavior and lose points for bad behavior.  We decided to create our own House Cup, and we are each represented by the house the Pottermore Sorting Hat put us in: Gryffindor (Violet), Ravenclaw (Alice), Slytherin (my wife) and Hufflepuff (myself).  After sorting ourselves into houses, we worked with the kids to identify things they could do to earn points.  For example, doing chores without complaining could earn them 2 points.  Going all day without getting a timeout could earn them 10 points.  We also worked with them to create a list of rewards they would get for earning so many points.  50 points would earn an extra book at bedtime.  1700 points resulted in no chores for a week.  This system has continued to work well with my girls.  I believe part of the reason why it works so well is because it is incredibly clear.  They know exactly how to earn points and where they stand in relation to the next goal/prize.  As a result of this, they are inspired and motivated to exhibit the right behaviors, which is a win for everyone in the house, especially my wife and myself.

How does this connect to work?  Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t know what it took to win or where you didn’t know how you were tracking toward a goal?  How did you feel in those situations?  I’ve been in those situations, and it didn’t feel good.  I often felt disengaged, because I had no idea if I was doing the right things or making progress.  Sometimes this was a project where I didn’t know what I was shooting for.  Other times it is how I’ve felt about my career, not knowing what it takes and where I stand in regards to expectations and how to get to where I want to go. 

This lack of clarity exists for multiple reasons.  Maybe, what good looks like is not well defined.  Maybe, different people have various views on what good looks like, which creates inconsistent goals.  Maybe, you do not have the ability to know and/or receive feedback to tell you where you are in the grand scheme of things.  No matter the cause, this lack of clarity can be incredibly disengaging when you don’t know where you stand and what is required to move forward. 

The challenge: As leaders how can we bring clarity to the behaviors that are required to win?  As leaders how do we ensure that individuals know where they stand in relation to their goals?

If I’m being entirely honest, now is one of those times when it is hard to know what “winning” looks like.  I’m trying to give myself and others grace as we all work together to figure this out. 

  • What does it look like to be a “good” husband/dad/friend/co-worker right now?
  • What does “good” movement on projects look like with everything going on? 
  • What does “good” look like when it comes to maintaining the team’s culture and vibe?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Alice, the Science Fair, and Doing Things Herself (3-18-20)

I hope you are all strong and healthy.  Last week was about shaping the environment as leaders.  This week is about Alice, the science fair, and doing things herself.

Last year Alice was a first grader and she asked to do the science fair.  My wife and I told her no, because we didn’t want to be the ones who ended up doing the project for her.  We told her she could enter the science fair in second grade, but she would do the work.  This year, Alice entered the science fair where she tested what would happen to green bean plants when she watered them with different liquids including water, tea, coffee, Gatorade, gasoline, vegetable oil, and milk.

While my wife and I were there to help teach Alice, she was the one who did the work.  I was so proud of her for all the hard work she put in.  However, if I’m being honest, the science fair drove my wife and I a bit crazy.  Have you ever watched a second grader type?  It took her years to type out paragraphs, and it took everything we had not to just type it for her.  Have you ever watched a second grader try to use a mouse and Excel?  She wanted to make graphs, so I taught her how to type in the data and how to highlight the data to make a graph.  Watching her actually go through those steps was like having something slowly eat away at my brain.  Deep down inside, I just wanted to do the things, because it would have been faster.  However, If I would have done the things for her, she wouldn’t have learned anything.  Now she has skills and abilities that she didn’t have a few weeks ago, because we taught her vs. did it for her.

What does this have to do with work?  Coaching and developing people is one of the most important things we can do as leaders.  With that said, how often do we invest the time it takes to teach and help people grow vs. jumping in and taking control?  Helping someone grow takes time, a lot of time.  Just like my situation with Alice, watching someone struggle to get something is painful, and you could definitely do it faster and better than they could.  I don’t know about you, but I know that there have been times I’ve jumped in and done things FOR someone vs. helping them learn how to do it.  The problem is that if I am always jumping in to do it for them, they can never learn on their own.  This will lead them to be dependent on me, and they’ll never be able to evolve into the person and employee they were meant to be.

The challenge: Are you investing the time with people to help them grow and develop?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry