15 Years- The Power of Small Gestures (6-22-22)

Last week was about caring enough to give tough feedback. This week is about the power of small gestures.

Let me take you back a few years. I had graduated from our marketing rotational program and was looking for my first official role in the marketing world. I had my heart and hopes set on market research, because I love sifting through chaos, connecting dots, turning insights into stories, and allowing my curiosity to run free. I was lucky to land a role with a market research team.

After my boss officially hired me, we sat down together for the first time and he said something like, “I’m a big Kentucky basketball fan. I think we need to do this right.” He grabbed a piece of flipchart paper and wrote up a letter of intent and had me sign it was like I was a top college prospect. We had someone snap a photo, and then he shared it with everyone as a way to say I had joined the team. It was a little thing, but it makes me smile whenever I think of it.

What does this have to do with anything? Can you think of a time when someone did something small to welcome you? How did it make you feel? This is a great example of how a small gesture can have a big impact on making someone feel welcome. My boss didn’t have to do that. I would have been happy just knowing I was part of the team. However, by putting in a little extra effort he turned a routine moment into something special. On top of that, he brought me in and made me part of his love for basketball. It was that little extra energy, which set the tone for a great adventure with the market research team.

The challenge: What small things can you do to help people feel more welcome and valued?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

15 Years- Care and Tough Feedback

Last week we started the series about memorable moments over my 15-year career. This week is a story about a leader showing care by giving me tough feedback.

It was time for my mid-year check in for my first internal role. I was doing okay, but I wasn’t setting the world on fire. I met my supervisor and in a kind, caring, and straight forward way, he said, “You will not meet expectations if you continue to do what you’re doing. The organization needs you to own this work and drive it forward to deliver X and right now you are delivering Y. I think you’re currently not delivering X, because you aren’t good at stakeholder management or creating project plans with clear objectives. How can I help you deliver X?” I’m not going to lie. That conversation didn’t make me happy. I felt like I was coming up short…because I was. While the feedback hurt a bit, I was incredibly thankful for his candor. By the time the conversation had ended, I had clarity on what I needed to deliver, and my boss helped me come up with a plan to improve. By the end of the year, I was delivering X and then some. I had crushed it! By the way, I’d work for that boss again in a heartbeat, because of this story and more. Everyone needs a someone like him in their life.

What does this have to do with anything? Have you ever experienced a situation where you wish people would have just given you honest feedback and they hadn’t? How did that make you feel? Have you ever been the person to NOT give that honest feedback? Why didn’t you give the feedback? I’ve been in both situations. I’ve experienced that we are often “Lilly nice” and we avoid these tough conversations. Avoiding these conversations isn’t “nice”. It’s harmful. While these conversations are hard, they are critical to be successful. If you truly care about people, you’ll share truth with them. If my boss had been “nice” and never given me the feedback, I would have kept on my path, got to the end of the year, and then been blindsided by not delivering to the level I was supposed to. However, he cared enough about me to be real. His feedback was what I needed to get better. His feedback led me to develop skills that helped in that role and beyond, so I could grow AND deliver for the business.

The challenge: Are you being “nice” or are you delivering the truth that needs to be told?

Bonus: If you are looking for help in this area I’d suggest you check out Radical Candor by Kim Scott or watch her talk on the subject.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

15 Years and Muscle Up Buttercup (6-8-22)

This month marks 15 years for me at Eli Lilly. Throughout my career I’ve spent time in sales, training, ghost writing for the CMO, market research, and marketing. It’s been a wild ride, and with that in mind I’d like to kick off a series about the moments that have stuck with me throughout my career. Some will be positive and some won’t be so rosy. This week is about the power of showing your belief in someone.

A few years ago I was on the market research team. I was leading the team in some pivotal messaging research, and EVERYTHING was going wrong. We were having problems with recruiting. We were having problems with technology. The interviews were clunky. Everything was falling apart. I felt like a failure and I was so frustrated.

While all this was going on my key business partner at the time wrote me a little note. It said something like, “If I had to be in a burning clown car of market research it would be with you. Muscle up, buttercup!” First, this made me chuckle. Second, it was great leadership. By writing this note to me she was saying, “I get that everything is falling apart, but I believe in you. If you won’t believe in yourself right now on your own, at least believe in yourself because I see what you can do. I trust you to lead us out of this.” That few words meant the world to me. Eventually, we were able to make everything come together, and we created an awesome message that helped us hit our goals and help out a lot of patients.

What does this have to do with anything? As a leader, sometimes it is our job to encourage people when they are at their low point. This isn’t about lying to them. It’s not about telling them that everything is okay. It’s about seeing their strength, demonstrating you believe in them, and then showing them that you have faith they will deliver. I don’t know about you, but often when I’m at a low point, the mere act of someone else showing their faith in me is enough to help me keep going.

The challenge: How are you demonstrating your faith in others?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Running Toilets and Facing Problems (6-1-22)

Last week was about planting flowers and stopping to appreciate beauty. This is the final entry in our home improvement series and focuses on running toilets and facing problems.

Recently, I had a toilet that wouldn’t stop running. I knew it was an issue, I just didn’t feel like messing with it. Instead, I avoided the problem by shutting the water off to the toilet. While this allowed me to avoid the problem, it also inconvenienced everyone in the house. Has anyone else out there just avoided a house repair problem because you didn’t want to mess with it? Confession. The water was shut off to that toilet for days. During that time span I had time to address the problem, I just chose not to. Eventually, I took the time on a Sunday to figure out what was going on. I watched a 5-minute YouTube video, realized the issue was with the float, grabbed a screwdriver, and fixed the problem. All in all, it probably took a total of 10 minutes, when I had been avoiding addressing the issue for days.

What does this have to do with anything? In the above example, I kept avoiding a problem, because I didn’t feel I had the energy to deal with it. At the same time, the longer I avoided the problem, the bigger of a deal it became. By the time I went to fix it, I assumed it was going to be some huge, horrible endeavor, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. At the end of the day, the energy I put into avoiding the problem was SUBSTANTIALLY more than the energy it took to address the problem.

Have you ever done that? Have you ever spent more energy avoiding a situation than facing into it? Maybe it was a project for work that looked particularly tricky. Maybe you avoided a tough conversation. Maybe you had a task that you knew would be difficult, and it was so much easier to just answer emails and other things. I’ve experienced all those things. For me, this home improvement story was a great reminder that sometimes you just need to dive into the thing you do not want to do. It was also a great reminder that often the thing you think is going to be horrible, is not nearly as bad as you made it out to be.

The challenge: Will you face the problem, or will you continue to avoid it?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Accomplishment, Flowers, and Appreciating Beauty (5-25-22)

Last week was about garage door motors and designing customer solutions. This week is about accomplishment, flowers, and appreciating beauty.

We have lived in our house for about 10 years. During that time, my wife has spent a significant amount of time and energy planting trees, bushes, and flowers. None of these things necessarily accomplish anything. The flowers don’t provide food. The flowers don’t open garage doors. The flowers are not essential to our house. At the same time, they are valuable. They give us a chance to experience beauty and peace, and that’s worth something. (Pic is from my son planting the flowers to spell “Yay”. Totally not necessary. Totally bring me joy.)

What does this have to do with anything? In a world that is so focused on achievement, it’s easy to get obsessed with only doing things if they accomplish something vs. enjoying something for what it is. We walk, because we need to get in our steps. We read, but mainly read books to help us be better employees. We do things at work, but only because they check boxes so we can move to the next rung of the ladder. I get stuck in these ruts. Do you?

The flowers at my house remind me that sometimes life is just about doing things that help us witness the beauty around us. Life is writing poems, even though those poems are for the sole sake of creating. Life is doing sidewalk chart art because it is cool to make monsters on your driveway. Life is going on a walk just because the weather is nice. Life is reading a book for the joy of being transported to a new world, whether that is a time in history, a magical land, or somewhere beyond. Life is sitting outside on your front porch and just zoning out with friends. When life is crazy busy, the thing that gets me through is pausing to remember that life isn’t always about accomplishment. Sometimes it is about witnessing the everyday wonder hidden in small moments.

The challenge: Will you stop to appreciate the beauty in life?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Garage Door Motors and Customer Solutions (5-18-22)

Last week was about fixing garage door sensors and seeing things through the eyes of our customers. This week we will continue our garage door story and look at right sizing solutions.

As I mentioned last week, basically everything about the garage door except the door itself broke. After the guy assessed the damage, he came back to me and offered a few different estimates. One of the key differences in the estimates was the price of the motor that physically opened the garage door. Naturally, I asked him the difference between the more and less expensive motors. The basic model was a solid garage door motor that would last for years. The upgraded model was also dependable with regards to opening the door for years to come PLUS it had a brighter garage light, a built-in camera, and blue tooth capabilities so I could open and close the garage with my phone. I looked at the repair man and explained, “The upgraded model sounds really cool, but I just need something that can open and close the door.” I appreciated the fact that he wasn’t a pushy salesperson. He recognized that I was a consumer who didn’t care about all the bells and whistles, so he proceeded to give me the solution that fit my needs.

How does this connect to anything? In the above example, the upgraded garage door motor is not bad. In fact, there are some people who would likely appreciate and benefit from what the upgraded motor has to offer. It’s just not what I need. The best thing the repair person did was understand who I am as a customer and then tailored his solution offering to me. Tailoring solutions isn’t easy. I don’t know about you, but throughout my career which has spanned sales, communications, training, market research, and marketing, I’ve found that when we build solutions it’s easy to lose sight of who we are building for. In all these roles I’ve had moments where I became so enamored with what I thought was cool that I didn’t pause to think about whether it would ultimately serve my customer. Has this ever happened to you? Much like the repair person, we could probably all benefit from making sure we understand the people we serve and better tailoring to their needs.

The challenge: Are you building solutions to be cool for you OR are you building them to meet the needs of our customers?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Garage Door Sensors and Seeing Through the Eyes of our Customers (5-11-22)

This week we will kick-off a series inspired by home improvements. We’ll start by looking at garage door sensors and seeing things through the eyes of our customers.

The other night we heard a random noise, and then the next morning the garage door couldn’t open. I called a repair person to come and check it out. My wife told me to make sure I had him look at the sensors. She explained they annoyed her sometimes because they were so finicky and would stop the door from closing properly. The repair person arrives and basically everything is broken EXCEPT the door itself. While the sensors weren’t broken, I mentioned that my wife had issues with them from time to time and I’d have to adjust them once every couple of months to get them working. It wasn’t a big deal, but still asked if he could do anything to help with those.

He replaced all the broken parts and hooked us up with new sensors (see beautiful picture). Fast forward a few days and my wife is raving about how the repairs have changed her life. I was confused why she was so excited about a working garage door. She told me she was excited the sensors worked. That’s when I learned that although I might have only been adjusting them once every couple of months, she was having almost daily fights with the sensors. I was only being notified of the issue if she was unable to get it to work. This revelation put her desire for new garage door sensors in a new light.

What does this have to do with anything? In the above situation, I didn’t fully understand the magnitude of the sensor problem. I was only seeing the tip of the iceberg. I was so fixated on MY experience with the garage door sensors that I never stopped to consider that my wife could be having a different experience. If I would have known how troublesome the sensors were, I likely would have tried to do something to fix them sooner. As I reflect on this story, I can’t help but see the parallels to being customer centric. As we serve our customers, how often do we truly understand their needs? More importantly, how often do we truly understand the magnitude of what they are going through? The things that might seem small to us, might be significant to the people we serve. The only way we can help them is by walking in their shoes and truly seeing the world from their perspective.

The challenge: Are you seeing situations through the eyes of your customers?

Bonus thought: Take the above learning about customers and apply it to the people you lead. Do you truly understand things from their perspective?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

The Struggles of Parenting and Developing Parenting/Leadership Skills (5-4-22)

This will be the last in our series about lessons I’ve learned as a dad. This week is about the struggles of parenting and developing parenting/leadership skills.

I’ve spent a fair amount of time talking to my wife, friends, and therapists about the struggles of parenting. If I’m being honest, I’ve never consistently failed at something the way I do with parenting. Parenting is making constant mistakes. Parenting is consistently recognizing that the worldview that I was programmed isn’t always the right one. Parenting is a constant reminder that my current skillsets aren’t quite good enough, and I have SOOOOOOOOO much room to grow. Do any of you parents feel similarly?

When I talk about room to grow, I don’t just mean switching up parenting styles. I mean building parenting competencies and working on the fundamental skills that are required to be a good parent. If I had to oversimplify where I am, I have so much room to grow with regards to demonstrating empathy, understanding, and grace. I invest time in getting better at these things, so I can be a better dad. After all, my family deserves it.

You might be wondering what this has to do with anything. I’ve said before that parenting is the same thing as leadership. Look at the above paragraph and replace the word parenting with leadership.

If I’m being honest, I’ve never consistently failed at something the way I do with leadership. Leadership is making constant mistakes. Leadership is consistently recognizing that the worldview I was programmed with isn’t always the right one. Leadership is a constant reminder that my current skillsets aren’t quite good enough, and I have SOOOOOOOOO much room to grow. Does anyone else feel this way?

Similar to parenting, when it comes to developing as a leader it’s not just about changing the style. It’s about looking at the competencies of leadership and working to develop those. It’s investing time in learning and practicing how to set a clear vision, how to create an environment where people feel like they belong, how to prioritize work, how to make decisions, how to hold others accountable, how to help people develop, and more. Like being a parent, it’s important to invest in getting better, because that is what will bring out the best in your team.

The challenge: Where do you need to grow as a parent/leader? How are you growing as a parent/leader?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting and Building Human Connection (4-27-22)

A person and person taking a selfie

Description automatically generated with low confidence Happy Wednesday,

Last week was about transparency and age-appropriate truth. This week is about being strong enough to build human connection.

It had been a rough day for Violet. It came to a crescendo when she hit her sister and faced negative consequences. Violet was furious when she got in trouble. She lost all control and started yelling mean things at me. She even told me she hated me. In full honesty, the first thoughts that went through my head were angry ones. There was a huge part of me that just wanted to yell back, but I didn’t. I realized her display of anger wasn’t about me. It was about her. I remembered that in tense moments, often the best thing we can do is take an action that leads to human connection, not separation. Yelling at her would have just shut her down. While she would have been quiet, it wouldn’t have been healthy. Instead of yelling, I looked at her and said, “I know you’re angry, and I also think you’re sad or hurting. I know when I’m sad or hurting I sometimes lash out to try to hurt people to make them feel bad too. You can be mad. I still love you. I’ll give you space and check on you in a few minutes.”

I came back later. Violet had calmed down. I asked if she wanted to talk. She was super sad. She cried because she just had a rough day where nothing went right. She felt like she was in a bit of a funk and didn’t know when it would end. She was really frustrated by everything. She eventually apologized to me. Throughout all of it, I just held her, validated her feelings, and helped her sort through things.

What does this have to do with anything? In life and sometimes at work, we get into tense situations. Tempers flare, words are said, and anger is thrown out into the open. When tensions rise, the natural instinct is to get defensive and to return fire with fire. What’s really happening though is that the person’s emotions and the way they are dealing with them are saying a lot more about them than they are about you. It’s important to understand that if a person is having such a strong reaction there are emotions underneath that are making them hurt or scared. When people are hurt or scared, they don’t need more anger and aggression. What they need is connection. Maybe that connection is empathy. Maybe it’s someone asking questions to show they care and are listening. Maybe it’s just sitting there with them as things diffuse.

The challenge: When things are emotionally tense how will you build human connection?

Bonus thought: Brene Brown recently wrote a booked called Atlas of the Heart that dives deeper into understanding emotions. It’s shaping how I’m viewing the world and worth a read. I hear she has a miniseries on HBO Max too, where she discusses some of the content.

Other side notes: Before you think I’m some zen master, I’m not. I screw up a lot, and totally messed up just this past weekend. This story is from one time when I got it right, and that made all the difference. Also, the hammock picture is from a different day. Few things are better than hammock snuggles.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting, Age Appropriate Truth, and Transparency (4-20-22)

Last week was about rock climbing and modeling behavior. This week is about transparency and “age appropriate” truth. It is inspired by Stacy Burdett.

When Stacy and I worked together she once told me that she made a pact to herself that she wouldn’t lie or avoid topics with her kids. Instead, she always strives to deliver “age appropriate” truth. That stuck with me and that’s a concept my wife and I have adopted. “Age appropriate” truth is another way of talking about the layers of transparency. We don’t lie or avoid topics. We try to give them as much insight as we believe they can handle, are clear on why we can’t tell them more in certain situations, and we explain when we will be able to get into more detail. Sometimes we can’t tell them more, because we don’t know. Sometimes, we can’t tell them more, because we don’t feel they have the maturity and capacity to handle it. We may not give them the full truth with every single detail, but we strive to be as transparent as possible no matter the topic. We’ve talked about bodies, bodily functions, race, racism, sexuality, sexual orientation, social classes, and so many more things.

It’s hard to have these kinds of conversations. It would be so much easier to lie to my kids or avoid the tough questions. It’s also hard to know what the “age appropriate” truth is and how much they can handle. I know I’ve made mistakes. Sometimes, we’ve shared too little, and they felt we were hiding things. Sometimes, we probably shared a little more than they were ready for. Sometimes, we didn’t do a good enough job of explaining why we couldn’t share more now and when we will share more in the future. This is something my wife and I continue to work on, because the goal is to always share truth.

What does this have to do with anything? As I’ve said before, being a parent is just like being a leader. As leader, we are constantly trying to navigate how transparent we can be and should be about something. My favorite leaders are the ones who deliver the work version of “age appropriate” truth. They are the ones who tell you what they can AND are clear why they may not be able to tell you more. Even if I do not like the message they are delivering, I appreciate them, because they are showing respect for me and my capacity to handle truth. Do you know any leaders like this? Other leaders fail when it comes to transparency because they are either not being honest to begin with and/or they are not being transparent about when they will be able to share more. These types of leaders often make me feel like I’m being lied to, which erodes trust. Have you ever felt this way?

The challenge: As a leader, how are you delivering the work version of “age appropriate” truth?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry