Lesson 4- Standing Strong in the Emotional Fire (11-19-25)

Last week was about the invisible backpack. This week is lesson 4: the importance of standing strong in the emotional fire.

The other day one of my kids was having a really hard time emotionally. If my kid was a dragon, they were spitting fire everywhere. It would have been easy to tell them to just go to their room on their own to sort it out. It would have been easy to tell them to suck it up and stop making it such a big deal. It would have been easy to step away from the situation, so we wouldn’t get sucked into the energy. Instead, my wife and I sat there. As my kid unleashed fire like a dragon, we sat there. We let the fire go around us and we walked through it. We didn’t try to stop the fire. We sat there with them, and when they stopped breathing fire, we sat there and comforted them until they were whole again.

Let’s make some connections. Standing in the midst of the meltdown wasn’t comfortable. It wasn’t pretty. It was exhausting and difficult. It wasn’t where my wife and I wanted to be. It was where my wife and I needed to be. We needed to show them that their fire didn’t scare us. We needed to be there to show that our love is stronger than any feelings/meltdowns/fire they could throw at us. We needed to be there to show that we will always be a safe and firm foundation for them. It’s not like we did anything magic. We just stayed there, softly speaking words of encouragement, reminding them that they are loved and it’s okay to feel strong feelings. For our family, we will always choose to stand strong in the fire. (By the way, watching my wife sit in that fire was one of the most beautiful and strong things I’ve seen. I hope you’re all blessed to have someone like her.)

The challenge: In a world filled with humans who are often scared to allow their vulnerability to show, will you be strong enough to stand in the fire with them? Will you be strong enough for them to lean on?

Bonus- I also wrote a poem inspired by these events. You can check that out here https://www.linkedin.com/posts/andrew-embry-979831b7_love-emotions-dragons-activity-7396885754817384448-Lkfc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop&rcm=ACoAABjcjy0BSioATZ2Tfprhg_c9r0itVMM87PQ

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Making the Most of a Situation (9-17-25)

Last week was about two people being in the same situation and seeing it differently. This week is about making the most of a situation.

Alice was a colicky baby and every night around 6 or 7, they’d spend an hour screaming their lungs out. My wife felt horrible about the inconvenience of having a screaming baby in my parents’ house. My wife also underestimated how weird my dad is. Alice was in the middle of screaming their head off. My dad could have been irritated, but instead he took this as a challenge. My dad decided that this would be a contest between him and Alice to see who was the loudest. He starts being loud too. At first Alice was stunned, and then they roared in defiance. However, my dad was not going to lose. He went all in, making weird faces, funny noises, and wildly gesturing. Alice goes from screaming to laughing and shrieking from pure delight. They keep going to see who can be the loudest and silliest. Soon, everyone in the house is giggling at the absurdity of it all. This became their nightly ritual for the entire time we lived with my parents, and now it’s one of our favorite memories.

Let’s connect some dots. Let’s be honest. If you’ve ever been in a room with a screaming baby, it’s not exactly fun. It would have been easy to be irritated and grumpy. It would have been easy to look at this like a moment to just suffer through. However, my dad decided to turn this into something else. He turned it into a game, which became enjoyable for everybody. Think about yourself for a minute. How often do you allow yourself to be totally stuck in a situation? How often do you allow yourself to become irritated and grumpy at something that isn’t going well? How often do you approach things with a negative mindset, when you have the power to make something different out of the moment?

The challenge: What will you make out of the moments you are given?

Bonus story- If you are thinking my dad has stopped playing weird games like that, you’re wrong. His new favorite game is to make cringeworthy dad jokes that make a teenage Alice roll their eyes. Yes, he is very successful at this. (I wonder where I get it from 😉)

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

My Kids, ChatGPT, and Not Being Limited in our Thinking (3-12-25)

This week we are going to kick off a new series focused on things I’ve learned about AI over the past almost 2 years in my role leading various AI initiatives. This one just so happens to be about my kids, ChatGPT, and not being limited in our thinking.

Shortly after ChatGPT was launched, I introduced my kids to the technology. While they may not have understood what a large language model was or how it worked, I helped them understand the role it could play. Essentially, I told them it was like an assistant for them to use to explore ideas.

A couple of weeks later, we were sitting at the dinner table and I asked everyone what they had done that day. My kids explained to me how they created a new game with ChatGPT. I was shocked by this and asked them to tell me more. They explained how they told ChatGPT that they wanted to play a game inspired by their favorite cartoon, Owl House, which included epic battle against evil villains and took about an hour to play. With this prompt, ChatGPT created the rules, plot, and setting for their game. I asked how they came up with the idea to do this, because I never would have thought of it in a million years. Their response was basically, “You said it could help brainstorm, so why wouldn’t we try that?” By the way, that’s some pretty good prompting. #prouddad

What does this have to do with anything? At the time, I would have never thought of using ChatGPT to create a game. I had been stuck in my normal day to day frame and unable to see beyond it. I hadn’t realized it at the time, but I had limited AI to only certain use cases. When my kids shared their experience, it was a nudge that I need to make sure that I’m not the one limiting the potential of emerging technology. Now, instead of asking, “Where does AI fit?” I ask, “How can we use AI to enhance what’s possible?” The first question assumes there are limited places where AI can be helpful. The second question assumes that there is always a chance to leverage AI to enhance things. This second question causes me to lean in with curiosity and a willingness to explore potential.

The challenge: How will you ensure your thinking is free and unlimited?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting and the Power of Being Kind and Caring (3-5-25)

Our last entry was about little signs of support. This week is about parenting and the power of being caring and kind.

Last week, Alice (almost 13) was having a tough time. I talked to her a bit about it. Later that night, I heard Alice telling my wife how I had been so helpful to her. My heart swelled when I heard her say that. If I’m entirely honest, I have no idea what I did. I can’t think of any special tactic or some magic question or phrase I used. Instead, Alice shared, “He was so caring and kind.”

What does this have to do with anything? Yesterday, was the first day of a market research supplier partner conference. I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in years. We had worked together on a few things when she first joined her company, and then I hadn’t crossed paths with her too much since. I was so excited to see her and how far she had come in her career. Then, she looked at me and said something like, “You may not even know this, but you were like an important part of my early career.” I was shocked. I had no clue I had such an impact on her. If I’m entirely honest, I have no idea what I did that could have made her feel that way. I can’t think of any special nuggets I shared with her. I don’t remember imparting any specific wisdom. I can’t think of any secret market research techniques I showed her. Instead, she went on to explain how I was caring and kind when she started out, and that made all the difference.

Think about the people who have had a positive impact on you in in your career. If I asked you to explain what specifically they did, you might struggle. However, I bet for all of them you would say that they cared about you and were kind. Those two simple things are so powerful. Those two simple things always matter.

The challenge- In a world where it is easy to be uncaring and cruel, will you have the strength to be caring and kind?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting and Little Signs of Support (2-26-25)

Last week was about parenting and setting incentives. This week is about parenting and little signs of support.

Recently, Cameron auditioned for a role in a local production of Finding Nemo. This was a big step for him. He had been in plays before, but this was the first time he auditioned for a speaking role. He put in a lot of effort to get ready. Ultimately, he earned the part of Nigel the pelican. My wife and I wanted to show our support of him and his accomplishment. She was scrolling on Amazon when she found a fun pelican t-shirt she was going to buy for Cam to celebrate his accomplishment. I laughed and asked, “Do they have one in my size?” Check out the pic on the right. Cam got a huge kick out of the fact that I got a shirt just like his and that we could be twins.

What does this have to do with anything? This week’s story shows how appreciated a small show of support can be. The shirts were relatively cheap. There was nothing fancy or flashy. Still, it showed Cam that we saw him and were proud of his accomplishments.

Think about work for a minute. Think about all the ways people show you small signs of support and what that means to you. Maybe, they buy you a coffee. Maybe, they send you a fun meme. Maybe, they send you a quick note. No matter what they do, I’m sure their small sign of support means something. Wouldn’t it be nice if we gave and received these small signs of support more often?

The challenge- What is something small you can do to show you support and appreciate someone today?

Bonus challenge- Are you a peliCAN or a peliCAN’T?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting and Setting Incentives (2-19-25)

Last week was about parenting, cleaning the house, and being flexible. This week is about parenting and creating incentives.

We already have 2 cats in our house, but my son Cameron (11) really wants his own cat. My wife and I ultimately agreed that he could get one for his 12^th birthday. Cam, ever the negotiator, talked to his to uncover what he could do to get it sooner and said he was willing to do anything to make this happen. My wife and I saw this as an opportunity to provide an incentive for Cam to do the right thing to earn the cat sooner.

Before setting the incentive, the first thing my wife and I did was talk about our overarching goal for Cam, which is for him to grow up to be a kind and compassionate self-sufficient human. From there, we got VERY SPECIFIC about what behaviors he could work on building now that would lead to this. Based on our understanding of our son, we settled on three things. First, we wanted him to get better at doing his chores without being asked or reminded, because this would help him learn how to take care of himself and his future house. Second, we wanted to help him get better at stepping outside of his comfort zone, which in this case includes trying new foods which is really hard for him. Third, we wanted him to continue to develop the ability to advocate for himself in situations, whether that is clearly expressing a boundary or just speaking up for himself. With these things in mind, I developed a point system and Excel sheet tracker that shows his progress over time. If he does those three things relatively consistently he will get his cat early. We talked to Cam about these things, and he’s on board. We even through in some extra hard bonus things worth a lot of points, and he’s strongly considering doing those things too.

How does this connect with anything? Often when we think of incentives we think of base pay, bonuses, or some other compensation. However, in my experience, we don’t do the best job thinking about the behaviors we are trying to drive in a culture or an organization. Then, since we haven’t truly thought about the behaviors we are trying to drive, we don’t have a way to directly link those behaviors with incentives (compensation, bonuses, verbal praise, Inspire points, etc.). Without that direct link, it’s difficult to reinforce the behaviors we want to see, which makes it hard to drive behavior change.

The challenge- Do you know what behaviors you are trying to drive? Do your incentives connect to those behaviors?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting, Cleaning, and Adapting as a Leader (2-12-25)

Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods. | Life ... This week we are going to kick off a series about lessons I’ve learned from being a dad. This week is about parenting, cleaning the house, and being flexible and adaptable when leading others.

When I was a kid and would help my family clean the house it would look like this. My mom would blast music (usually Prince, Rod Stewart or Alanis Morisette). With the music blaring we would all start jumping in and helping with little direction. When I initially tried this approach with my own kids, it didn’t go so well. In case I’ve never mentioned it, we have some neurodivergence in my house, so cleaning the way I did as a kid is EXTREMELY overwhelming for my kids. The loud music is overstimulating and the lack of clarity on what needs to be done is anxiety inducing. Trying to clean this way would result in everyone being overstimulated, grumpy, and the house not getting clean. #failure

After failing a few times, I needed to reevaluate the situation. At the end of the day, my goals are to get the house clean and to help my kids become more self-sufficient. I’ve learned to be flexible in HOW I achieve those goals. When I clean with my kids, we don’t play music to avoid overstimulation. Also, I create a list of the tasks and add some gamification, so there is clear direction. We don’t clean the house. We save Hyrule! (a nod to The Legend of Zelda video game series) My list might look like, “Beat the Water Temple aka Clean the Bathrooms for 50 points,” or “Straighten up Goron City aka The Kitchen for 20 points.” My kids then methodically work through the list, accomplishing tasks, and checking stuff off until the house is clean. It’s very different from the way I grew up cleaning, but it is still very effective.

Where exactly is this going? As a leader, it’s your job to enable the other people around you to be successful. Often, this means being strict about the goal, but being flexible in HOW to achieve that goal. Did my kids have to clean like I did in order to be successful? No. We found a way that works for them and enabled their success. Think about work. How often has a leader more or less forced you to do something their way, even though it wasn’t the only path to success? What were the consequences of that? When I’ve had those experiences, I’ve often felt disengaged and often saw how more value could have been provided if the leader would have just been a little more open to thinking differently.

The challenge: As a leader are you being adaptable and flexible enough to enable others to be successful?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Seeing the Bigger Picture before Making Judgments (8-14-24)

This will be the last in my series about lessons I’ve learned from being a parent. This week is all about taking time to understand the bigger picture before making a judgment.

We had a fabulous time on vacation. However, if you would have seen my family on Monday afternoon, it would have been easy to conclude that we were all bad people who hated each other, because we were so grumpy and irritable. If you took a step back and looked at the bigger picture, you might think a little differently. We had been on vacation for 2 weeks and desperately wanted to get home. We had been traveling all day. We were exhausted, rushed, overwhelmed, etc. Understanding all of this, you would likely conclude that we were good people who just had a long day. You’d give us grace and patience.

What does this have to do with anything? Have you ever had a negative experience with someone and instantly decided that they were bad? I have. Someone has been in a bad mood, and I’ve made the snap decision that they must be a jerk. Someone didn’t do something well at work, and I’ve made the snap decision that they don’t have the right skills. It’s so easy to make judgments based on a snapshot in time vs on the bigger picture and a confirmed pattern of behavior. The majority of time, these snap decisions are wrong.

Maybe the person is a jerk, or maybe they are going through something incredibly difficult in life and they are carrying more stress than usual. I know that I’ve unintentionally lashed out at people, when I carried stress that had nothing to do with them. Maybe the person doesn’t have the necessary skills, or maybe they had a different vision for what was supposed to occur or maybe they are just human and made a mistake. I know I’ve made mistakes before. Making these snap judgments often lead to the worst possible paths for all parties involved.

The challenge: Will you take the time to see the bigger picture before passing judgment?

Bonus: The pic is my family on the boat outside of Gibraltar. You might notice our travel sheep. He is a special stuffed animal who ONLY goes on vacations with us, so the other stuffed animals are left at home. I can tell you’re jealous. 😉 Fun fact. The travel sheep went through the security at the airport, fell out of the bin in the x-ray machine, and confused the machine so bad that it caused about 8 bins of stuff to have to be rescanned. That sheep is baaaaaa-d news!

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting and Enduring Lessons (7-31-24)

Last week was about parenting, leadership, and stepping beside someone. This week is about parenting and enduring lessons.

We leave soon for a family trip. The other day I was talking to the kids about the trip and one of them said, “This time we slay monsters, not dragons.” I chuckled. They were referring to something I taught them about 2 years ago when we were preparing to go on a different big trip. Rather than tell them that everything was going to be smooth sailing I told them that we were guaranteed to run into problems, and when we did, we would slay those dragons and move on. Here’s the entry if you’re curious Vacation and Preparing for Dragons (10-5-22) – Striking Matches (home.blog). Beginning tomorrow, we embark on another adventure. Beginning tomorrow, we will be ready to slay some monsters. I’ll make sure I save some for Van Helsing (bonus points if you get that bad joke). (Pic is from Copilot “Create an image of an AI relaxing on vacation on a cruise ship)

What does this have to do with anything? I never would have thought that something I said 2 years ago would stick with them like this. I didn’t think it was anything super special at the time, just a funny way to talk about challenges. It just goes to show the sticking power of the lessons you teach to others, whether you are intentional about teaching those lessons or not. This all makes me curious about what other lessons I’m teaching them that sink in and will last for a long time. It also has me wondering what lessons I’m leaving people I work with.

The challenge: What enduring lessons are you leaving behind?

Bonus 1: Reach out to someone who left an enduring message with you and tell them thanks (assuming it’s a positive one).

Bonus 2: Here is what I hope my enduring lessons are. I hope I teach people it’s okay to show love at work. I hope my colleagues remember that a little positivity and humor go a long way, especially when things are hard. I hope people think of me and then remember to embrace their inner superhero 😉

Bonus 3: This is a parenting thing that works for my family. I am often guilty of moving too fast and being in a rush. My kids have some anxiety to begin with, so me rushing just makes everything worse. To help with this, we created “Team Zero Hurry”. My wife and I tell the kids that we are Team Zero Hurry while we are on vacation, and we are only allowed to be Team Fast if my wife and I say so. Then, the second the kids get anxious about having to be somewhere, we just say, “We’re Team Zero Hurry. We won’t be Team Fast unless X happens. Has X happened? No. Let’s just take our time then.” Then everyone calms down. I know it sounds goofy, but it’s super effective. It’s a great reminder to me to set the tone for the family. It also makes things clear for the kids, because unless X happens we are taking it easy.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting, Leadership, and Stepping Beside Someone (7-24-24)

Last week was about parenting and being okay with joining the failure club. This week is about parenting, leadership, and stepping beside someone.

A couple of weeks ago, the kids and I were on a pontoon ride at the campground. We were having a nice ride when Cam asked if he could get in the lake. This is a big deal, because Cam is usually scared of lakes for a variety of reasons. I tell him that he can go ahead and get in, and that he can just change into his extra pair of clothes when he gets back to the camper. He puts on a life jacket, and sits on the edge of the boat, putting his feet into the water. I’m happy that he’s even doing that. I keep giving him encouragement to get in. He asks me to get in with him. I don’t necessarily want to, because I don’t swim well and am not a huge fan of water myself. However, I also recognize this could be the support he needs to take a big step forward. I throw on a life jacket and jump in too. Cam gets in and loves it! It’s one more fear he’s conquered, and I’m so proud of him.

What does this have to do with anything? I was supporting Cam. I could have just kept giving him words of encouragement while staying on the boat. However, at this time, he didn’t need words from a distance, he needed someone beside him. When I saw that, I hopped into the lake and that’s what he needed to be confident. Now think about work for a minute and for the different leaders you’ve worked with. I’ve seen some leaders who tried to lead from their high seat. They said the right things, but they always stayed distant from the team. I’ve also seen leaders who were willing to step beside their people when that was needed. These latter leaders are my favorite. What about you?

The challenge: Will you be willing to step beside someone to lead?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry