Author: Andrew Embry

If you mixed diet mountain dew, funk music, dragons, hip hop, superheroes, and lightning in a blender you’d end up with Andrew Embry. He is part wordsmith and part alchemist, able to use his Batman utility belt to turn anything and everything into a story worth telling that is equal parts insightful, memorable, inspiring, humorous, and entertaining. Andrew is comfortably creative in almost any setting, but especially when he is performing spoken word poetry. His enthusiasm for words comes from the way he loves people and the little nuances of life that make it worth living.

Leadership Lessons from Nick Fury and the Avengers (10-15-14)

This week’s entry is inspired by a conversation I had with a colleague about leadership. Her hypothesis is that the true test of leadership is how well you can influence without authority, which is something that all of us are doing on a daily basis. It’s one thing to lead a group of people when you are the clear authority figure, but it is an entirely different animal to lead a group where you don’t have that authority. This hypothesis got me thinking about the movie The Avengers. If you haven’t seen The Avengers, don’t tell me because I will lose respect for you. In all seriousness, it’s a great case study in influencing without authority.

Think about it. Nick Fury (super spy extraordinaire) assembles a team of some of the most powerful beings in the universe including the Hulk (strongest there is) and Thor (a thunder god) to stop a bad guy. This should be easy, right? It’s not easy though. Each superhero is a powerful individual with a different background, approaching everything from their unique perspective. They don’t know or trust each other. There are no clear expectations, sources of authority, or defined goals. All of these issues cause them to spend the first 2/3 of the film getting duped and getting their butt kicked, because they waste time jockeying for power amongst each other. It takes a tragic turn of events to get the team focused on a singular goal- saving the world! Only then are they able to come together as a team, defeat evil, and save the world from yet another egotistical madman.

Now think about the teams we are on at work. We can make the argument that we are a lot like the Avengers. We are a collection of individual superheroes used to doing things our own way, all pulled together to accomplish some important task. This is the true test of leading without authority. In my experience, if we spend the time in the beginning with the team getting crystal clear on expectations, roles, and what success looks like, then we go on to accomplish great things. If we don’t spend the time doing this, the wheels fall off. (Side note, I’d also argue that the same skills that enable a person to lead without authority makes them an even better leader when they have authority.)

How will you lead your fellow Avengers?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Ugly Work vs. Exciting Work (9-24-14)

I turned 30 on Monday and did the thing we probably all do when we have a birthday. I looked into the mirror, reflected on the last year of my life, and then said, “I’m doing better than I was at this time last year, but I really could be healthier.” Then yesterday as I was eating my nachos from Cancun a series of mini-revelations hit me like a hammer.

After I get done working out I experience a rush. I get excited. I wipe the sweat off of my face and know that I’ve accomplished something. After I spend an entire day eating the right foods to help me reach my fitness goals…I…well…I don’t feel anything. There’s nothing exciting about eating the proper amount of calories. There’s nothing riveting about being nutritionally sound. I tend to do better working out than I do with making sure I eat healthy.

Now, I might see some results by focusing on exercise, but working out on its own won’t get me where I want to go. In fact, I’d argue that eating well probably makes up 70-80% of the success that I am able to have. The thing in all of this is that I need to both eat well and exercise to get the results I want.

Does this sound familiar? This is the battle between planning and executing. This is the battle between doing the exciting thing (executing) and doing the thing that gives you the right fuel to make execution even better (planning). It shouldn’t be either/or, but instead it should be both. Going with the health example, even if I exercise exactly like I am supposed to, I won’t be able to reach my goals if I don’t also provide my body with the right fuel. If I would put as much effort into planning my meals as I do making time to work out then I would be in a lot better shape than I am in right now.

The exact same thing holds true whether you are a sales representative, a manager, a consultant, or some other leader. Even if you are a gifted implementer, if you don’t take the time to plan to make sure you are working toward the right objectives and talking to the right people about the right things and asking the right questions, then you will never be as impactful as you could be with some proper planning. We have to be willing to put in some of the grind work that isn’t as easily noticeable or exciting, understanding that the only way we can execute to our full potential is by planning, so we have the right fuel for when it comes time to flex our muscles.

Here’s to planning and eating right at least most of the time 😉

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons Learned from being a Dad Part 5- Disciplining out of Love (9-10-14)

There are two lessons I have learned since becoming a parent that work hand in hand with each other.

Lesson 1- Parenting is the name for a lifelong coaching session.
Lesson 2- You can discipline or give feedback to a child out of love or out of negative intent.

Alice acts up sometimes and when she does I have to admit that she’s not always my favorite person in the world (Bonus lesson: Having kids means loving them always, but not always liking them). I don’t like having stern conversations with her and disciplining her. It’s not easy and it’s not fun. The reason I do it though, is because I love her so much that I want to help her grow up and become a good woman. I want her to be polite, nice, generous, caring, loving, etc. I don’t want her breaking stuff, being disrespectful, etc. I do NOT have these conversations with her to prove that I’m smarter, more powerful, or authoritarian. (The picture is Alice right before she transforms into “Defiant Temper Tantrum Throwing Alice”. Transform. Get it? She’s wearing an Optimus Prime shirt. #dadsaysboysaredecepticons)

I’ve noticed the same thing when it comes to giving people feedback. For me, what the person says and how they say it is not as important as the intent behind the words. I’ve had conversations with people who give me feedback by saying things like, “Dude, you’re kind of being an idiot and a jerk” or “I’m not feeling that at all” or “That kind of sucks” but I knew they were having the conversations out of love so it was okay. I know other people who say things that sound nicer like, “I have a little coaching for you if you’ll take it,” which is actually code for “I’m smarter than you are and think you should do things my way.” Let’s just say that’s not the best way to get me to do anything. It’s not just the words. It’s the intent behind them.

In my daughter’s case, I have to constantly demonstrate that I love her and care about her so she always can at least see my intent. I’d say we have the opportunity to do the same with our co-workers.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons Learned from being a Dad Part 4- Mistakes and Face Plants (9-3-14)

This entry is about the parenting lessons I’ve learned from watching Violet face plant into the couch. Violet is 7 months old and is crawling/bouncing/scooting around everywhere. On one hand this is great, because she is mobile, but on the other hand she is more prone to bump/crash into things. Have you ever deconstructed what occurs when a baby face plants into a couch? Here is the play by play.

Deconstructing a fall

First, Violet begins to fall, which is a sensation that scares her. Her face then hits the couch, sending pain signals through her body. The initial instinct is to think the impact is worse than it actually is. While this is occurring, she is looking at me and her mom to gauge what our reaction to the fall means. If I overreact, she gets more scared and cries harder. If I don’t react, I am showing her I don’t care. I have to aim somewhere in the middle, so I usually play the reassuring, “You’re okay.” After I comfort her, I set her back on the floor and let her get to exploring again.

Deconstructing making a mistake

Have you ever thought about how the above process mirrors what it is like to make a mistake? When you made a mistake did you feel like the picture on the right? I do. First, you make a mistake, which is a sensation that scares you. You feel the impact from the mistake, which signals to you how bad you’ve messed up. The initial instinct is to think the mistake is much worse than it actually is. While all of this is going on, you look out to the people around you to gauge their reaction. Their reaction gives insight into how much you screwed up and helps you decide whether or not it is safe to try again.

Leadership connection

As a parent I am learning that the fall is as scary as or worse than the impact. My job is to show I care without blowing the situation out of proportion. Good leaders know how to treat a bruise like a bruise instead of a broken arm. Better leaders know what type of person you are and whether you need ice, a Band-Aid, or someone to tell you to “rub some dirt on it”. The best leaders are the ones who do all of those things and then help you get back in the middle of things, ready to explore again.

When they fall and look to you, what do you do?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons Learned from being a Dad Part 3- Encouragement and Taking Fear Away (8-27-14)

Continuing with the lessons I’ve learned since becoming a parent…

Alice is climbing around on playground equipment. She is climbing on bars and starts to get scared. I don’t pull her off of the equipment. Instead, I tell her, “I’m here. You’re okay. You can do it. Keep climbing.” Then I wait as she climbs step by slow step. Once she reaches the top she throws her hands up triumphantly and yells, “Daddy I did it!” She goes down the slide and climbs up the same bars without hesitation.

As sappy as it sounds, I can’t describe how happy and proud I was of her at that moment. This describes one of my favorite parts of being a dad. I have this mysterious power that enables me to remove fear and replace it with confidence. Giving confidence isn’t just about heaping meaningless praise on a person. It is about being able to authentically show someone that you care and have faith in them.

Think back to a career defining moment. I can think back to a few when I was scared, nervous, anxious, and wondering if I could accomplish something. I would say, “This is pretty big. I don’t know if I can do it.” I can remember how some of my favorite leaders handled this. They sat across from me, looked me in the eye, and said something along the lines of “I’m here for you. I have faith. You can do this. I don’t know how you’ll get it done, but I know that you will.” They would say this with such compassion and sincerity that I couldn’t help but believe them. That one act completely changed my perspective. Then, I’d go to work, step by slow step until I made it.

As I work with others and continue to grow as a leader I want to be able to have the same influence that my favorite leaders have had on me. I want to have that mysterious ability that gives people the power to keep climbing when they are frozen. I want to be able to throw up my hands triumphantly when they reach the top and say, “You did it!”

As a leader, what are you doing to remove fear and replace it with confidence?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons Learned from being a Dad Part 2- The Power of a Smile (8-20-14)

Continuing with the lessons I’ve learned since becoming a parent…

For my wife it had been over 300 days. For me it was closer to 50. It had been days upon days of discomfort and emotional stress. We had went so long without sleeping that it felt like crows had set up a permanent nest around our eyes. The wounds were emotional, physical, and mental.

Then, one day that all faded into the background. On that day Violet was about 6 weeks old and for the first time she smiled. I know. It sounds a little dramatic, but if you have ever been around little kids you have probably felt the same way. Their smile, their joy can light up the room and heal all the little wounds you collect as you go through each day.

Anyone who tells you that they love newborns is lying or over-romanticizing the memory. Newborns are tough. All you do is work, work, and work for them without any word of encouragement. Then all of a sudden that changes when they smile. It becomes even better when they first start to say your name. My favorite part of the day is coming home, Alice giving me a huge hug and then picking up Violet and watching her smile and giggle. At that point, the stresses and cuts I’ve picked up from the day disappear, if only for a little while.

I bring this up to show the power of a smile, a hug, and a kind word. I don’t know about you, but if you’re anything like me sometimes you feel that nobody notices or appreciates you. Sometimes, I feel like I’m just trudging through and all I do is work, work, and work. Then, someone (a colleague, a supervisor, a partner) smiles or gives a hug or offers a kind word and it washes away that mentality and gives me the fuel to keep going.

How often are you the one who offers the encouragement when others need it? How often are you offering a smile, a hug, or kind words to a colleague, a customer, a family member, or friend? How powerful is your smile?

In case no one has told you lately, thank you. If you receive these emails it means you are trying to make a difference. You are trying to build a culture. You are trying to keep it real in a world where everything is plastic. Thanks for this. Smile, air high five, and hug!

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons Learned from being a Dad Part 1- Be Curious (8-13-14)

Over the next few weeks the theme is going to be “Lessons I’ve learned since becoming a dad”. Whether we have kids or not, I think we can all relate to these stories.

A few weeks ago I went on a 40 minute walk with Alice, my 2 year old, and we didn’t make it more than a half mile away from either side of the house. Every couple of steps she would stop to make some kind of an observation. “Hmmm, a stick. Cracks (in the sidewalk). Broke. Rocks. Whoa, big rocks! Kitty cat! Puppy!” She was pointing out anything that could potentially be interesting. I’m sure you’ve been in this boat before too with a young child.

There is something magical about the way a child views the world. Everything they see is new. Everything is worth noticing. Everything is a mystery waiting to be solved. In that 40 minute walk with Alice she helped me notice more things about the area right around my house than I had in the past year. I know it sounds corny, but one of my first thoughts after our walk was, “I hope she doesn’t grow out of her curiosity.”

Often, we lose our curiosity as we get older, and what was once novel becomes a series of patterns that we no longer acknowledge. We do this with things, but we also do this with people. Think of all of the uncharted territory that we could explore that we just don’t take advantage of. Imagine all of the additional information we would seek out and explore if we would be as curious as little kids. Imagine how we would be able to use our curiosity to find new connections and discover new solutions to ever changing problems. Think about all of the patients we could help in the process.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Bonus lesson from Alice: Be you. Yes. That’s my daughter wearing a batgirl outfit with a sparkly dress dragging a stuffed “tick tock croc” (crocodile) on a sled for a walk to the park. Some ask why, but Alice asks, “Why not?” Hopefully she never loses her muchness…

Geese and Leadership (7-30-14)

Last week was about ducks and leadership. This week we’d like to reflect on geese and leadership.

One interesting aspect about leadership is the concept of strength. Often when we think of strength we think of muscles and power. We sometimes think that strong leaders are the ones who can carry the weight of the world on their shoulders like Atlas. This isn’t necessarily true. A strong leader is one with a vision and a purpose, but there is also much more than that.

A strong leader is like a goose. Geese assemble themselves in a V formation, understanding that working together allows them to go farther than they could go alone. This only works if everyone plays their role.

Where the strength comes in for the geese is that the leader is strong enough to know that they can’t lead the charge on their own. The lead goose flaps and flies, leading the group as far as they can, and then when their strength is fading they drop back in the formation. Their strength comes not from their might, but from their willingness to allow others to lead. As someone else leads the V formation, the other geese are not silent. They consistently honk, encouraging the leader to keep going. It takes strength to rid yourself of your own ego and dedicate yourself to lifting someone else up.

Now think of work. How do you measure strength when it comes to leaders? Think of all of the leaders who have to be the center of attention, who have to feel like they are the ones carrying the movement. This is how they operate. Do you want to follow people like that? Do you know any leaders who are like geese? Can you think of the people who carry the load, but are strong enough to let other people lead the movement? These are the people who give purpose, vision, direction, and so much encouragement that sooner or later you begin to fly.

We are trying to change as an organization. It will take a long time and we will have to travel a long distance. There’s an African proverb, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” If we want to go far we will need our own V formation, and we will need leaders as strong as geese to guide us there. Are you brave and strong enough to be a goose?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Ducks, Trains, and Leadership (7-23-14)

Over the past two weeks we have thought of leadership as it relates to tractors and terminators. This week I’d like us to think of leadership as it relates to trains and ducks.

If you watch a train cross the tracks you first see the engine. Then you see all of the cars following the engine. At first glance you could argue that the engine then must be the leader. After all, the train is strong, powerful, and leading the way. If you really think about it though, the engine just pulls the cars along. They follow, because they have to. Think of all of the supervisors you have had. How many of them pulled you along without ever really being a leader?

Now think of ducks swimming in a pond almost single file. There is a duck in the front and all of the other ones are following, moving in the same direction. There is not a tether or any device forcing them to go along, so why do they? Why do they willingly follow? The answer is simple, but not easy. It’s because the duck in the front has proven that he or she is worth following.

I bring this up, because often we ask, “What makes a leader?” We answer that question by listing traits and skills. These things are important, but having these traits and skills doesn’t necessarily make someone a leader. The thing that makes a leader is people who are willing to follow. Instead of always thinking about traits and skills, we should focus on figuring out what we can do to make ourselves worth following.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Simplicity and Yo-yos (7-2-14)

When I was younger I used to be good with yo-yos. I only wish I was as good as this guy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq3rn8g15po. I love yo-yos because they epitomize simplicity. This simplicity combined with gravity allows people to do some amazing things if they will put in the time to master the art.

Think about how a yo-yo connects back to what this blog has recently discussed. At its core a yo-yo is basically a wheel and axle attached to a string. It has been sculpted to its elegant essence and not overly engineered (last week’s message). You have something simple (a yo-yo), but that doesn’t mean it’s easy (“simple does not equal easy” from two weeks ago). How much time do you think that person had to put in before these tricks became second nature?

There is still one thing left though. Once we have that essence and communicated it in a simple way, how do we pull it through? That’s the third thing a yo-yo can teach us. Once you have uncovered the simple essence of something: you keep going back to that essence, just like a yo-yo is meant to always come back to your hand.

Think of the video. If the yo-yo doesn’t return to his hand, then those tricks are not impressive. Instead, they are just a bunch of twirls and loops that end up looking like a convoluted mess. Does this sound like any presentations, communications, or movements you have witnessed? They might start with a great essence, but the essence is never revisited so it gets lost. When the essence gets lost, the power is lost. Now think about things that have resonated with you over a long period of time. What was different? I would bet the farm that it’s because that person found a simple essence that resonated with you and whenever there was an opportunity they connected everything back to that essence, reinvigorating it with renewed passion and energy. Everything kept coming back to that essence just like a yo-yo going back to the person’s hand. How did you feel when someone was able to keep that essence alive and strong?

If we want to do amazing things, if we want to spark and support change in ourselves and others, then we need to embrace this yo-yo mentality. We need to put in the time and effort to sculpt a simple essence and then we need to keep going back to it again and again, just like a yo-yo doing tricks before snapping back to our hands. It won’t be easy, but nothing worth doing ever is.

Have a jolly good day and a wonderful holiday,

Andrew Embry