Author: Andrew Embry

If you mixed diet mountain dew, funk music, dragons, hip hop, superheroes, and lightning in a blender you’d end up with Andrew Embry. He is part wordsmith and part alchemist, able to use his Batman utility belt to turn anything and everything into a story worth telling that is equal parts insightful, memorable, inspiring, humorous, and entertaining. Andrew is comfortably creative in almost any setting, but especially when he is performing spoken word poetry. His enthusiasm for words comes from the way he loves people and the little nuances of life that make it worth living.

Being Human is Universal (5-1-19)

This is going to be the final entry about the “secrets” I’ve learned over time. We began with the secret power of gratitude, and then we explored the secret of our own uniqueness. Last week was about the idea that everyone has something going on in life that is impacting them, even if it is unseen. This week we will explore how being human is more universal than we realize.

If you’ve followed this blog for a period of time, you’ll know that I’ve written about a wide variety of things including but not limited to:

How I lost it at work and cried after a cousin died from a drug overdose.
My failures when it comes to loving others.
How I’ve felt that I wasn’t good enough. (Saw this within the past few weeks)
Various mistakes I’ve made from FBI interrogating an intern to mishandling other conversations.
My failures when it comes to loving/appreciating myself.
My attempts at finding myself/my voice.

Anytime I’ve shared one of those things, I’ve had this fear that the experience I was sharing was unique to me, which meant other people wouldn’t understand. Without fail when I have shared something like that, people have responded with, “That is totally me. I’ve been there.” Someone else always understood what I was going through and what I was feeling. I began to realize that those things I thought were personal, were in fact universal.

You might be wondering where this is going. We often talk about being brave enough to be vulnerable, and how hard it is to be vulnerable. The secret I learned is that for the most part the experiences we have are more universal than we think. There are other people out there who have been through something similar. If other people have had similar experiences, then vulnerability can’t be about being all alone on a limb. Instead, it’s about stepping out and saying, “I’m human. You’re human. We’ve all been there, right?” Understanding this has dramatically increased my willingness to be vulnerable. I’m no longer paralyzed by the scary question of, “Is there anyone who will understand?” Instead, I know the real question is, “How many people have been where I am?” and if others have been where I am, being vulnerable is just one more way for us to connect human to human.

The challenge: Can you see how being human is more universal than we realize? Are you willing to be vulnerable?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Everyone has Something Going On (4-24-19)

Last week was about the power of our own uniqueness. This week’s secret is that everyone has things going on in their lives that impact them.

Let’s pretend for a moment that you are in a meeting with a colleague and they weren’t performing well that day. They were not as focused as they normally are and not on top of things. What was the reason why they weren’t performing that day? Maybe it’s because they weren’t prepared. Maybe it’s because they didn’t have the ability to understand what they should do. Maybe they are just bad at their job. Those would probably be a couple of the first things you’d think of. There’s another option though, maybe they had other things going on in life that were that were weighing on them and impacting them. No matter the case, don’t they deserve grace, empathy, and understanding?

You might be wondering where this is going. The secret in all of this is that we never know what is going on in a person’s life that might be impacting them. We’ve all probably been in a situation like the one above. We’ve all been the person who noticed that a teammate wasn’t performing on a given day. When we were in this situation, how often did we stop to check in to see how they were doing? How often did we stop to see if there were things outside of work impacting them vs. making an assumption about why things weren’t going well? I know that I always haven’t paused to think about how things going on outside of our walls might be weighing in on their lives.

We’ve also been the person who wasn’t performing, because we were being impacted by something. Maybe it was the death of a family member, sickness, sleepless nights from kids, battle with depression or addiction, or a million other ways that life can get to you. How important was it to you when people extended some empathy and understanding?

The challenge: The secret is that you never know what is going on in someone else’s life. When you see people, will you start by extending grace, empathy, and understanding?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Eagles, Bears, and Uniqueness (4-17-19)

Last week was about the power of gratitude. This week’s secret is about the power of our individual uniqueness.

An eagle flies over a forest, majestic and fast. It’s flown all of its life, and doesn’t really know any different. It looks down and sees a bear, huge and full of strength. The eagle says to himself, “I wish I had strength like the bear.” The bear is huge and strong, lumbering throughout the forest. He’s always been like that, and doesn’t really know any different. He looks up to see an eagle flying, majestic and fast. The bear says to himself, “I wish I had wings like the eagle, so I could soar through the skies.”

By now you’re wondering where this Aesop fable sounding tale is going. I was preparing for a job interview and I had a conversation with a friend/mentor of mine. She’s the type of person who gives you truth in a loving way (everyone needs someone like this in their life). I tell her why I wanted the role and what my story would be for the interview. I’m going over the top to establish that I’m smart and have the marketing chops to succeed (#makingupforinsecurity). After we talk through all of this she gives me that look. The look that says, “Andrew, you’re really missing the obvious and I’m about to drop knowledge.” Then she says something like, “Everything you said makes sense. I get that it’s important to you that you show people you are smart and a good marketer, and I believe you are those things and it’s important to talk about those things. However, don’t forget that there is a lot about who you are that’s important to bring to life for these people too.” From there she listed what she saw in me that differentiated me, which consisted of strengths that I wasn’t thinking about emphasizing because they seemed too “soft” and I wasn’t sure they mattered. Essentially she told me, “It’s cool that you want to show that you’re strong like a bear, and bears are great. However, don’t forget you are an eagle blessed with flight.”

If leveraging my uniqueness is so obvious to her, why wasn’t it so obvious to me? Why wasn’t I thinking of leading with this in the interview as opposed to trying too hard to feature something else? I think there are a few reasons. I think our uniqueness is part of who we are, and at times it is easy to forget that not everyone shares what makes you you. It’s easy to fall into the trap of saying, “But doesn’t everyone do this or bring this to the table?” The answer to that is no. Also, I don’t know about you, but sometimes I look at others, get a little jealous, and say, “I want to be like that. I want to be known for that.” Maybe I feel that the organization wants me to be just like that or that people really respect/admire/value one type of person over another. Maybe I’m insecure and just don’t always have the confidence in myself that I should. Do you ever feel this way?

The secret hidden in all of this is my uniqueness is worth more than I could ever know, and yours is too. The challenge: Can you see, accept, and embrace, your uniqueness?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Bonus thought: I’d like to say that since that conversation I’ve always remembered that I’m an eagle and that I should embrace my flight. However, I’d be lying if I said that. From time to time, I still get into this, “I want them to know I’m strong/smart/whatever” as opposed to embracing who I am and what I bring.

The Secret Power of Showing Gratitude (4-10-19)

This week we are going to kick off a new series inspired by the “secrets” I’ve learned throughout my life. When I say secrets, I don’t mean some entirely unknown revelation. Instead, I mean something that is often in front of us that we don’t see or lose sight of. This week’s secret is about the power of showing gratitude to others.

Pretend for a moment that you go to Bob’s house. When you get to Bob’s house you do 100 things for Bob, and he never shows any appreciation. Now, you go to Joe’s house. You do 100 things for Joe, and he shows you appreciation. Joe doesn’t give you more money than Bob or anything, Joe ensures that you know he appreciates you and that he’s grateful for you. The next day, you have the choice to help Bob or Joe. Who do you help? I’m guessing you help Joe, because Joe appreciates you.

You might see where this is going. Every day you go to work. At work you do hundreds of things for different people. How many of those people ever show their gratitude? What’s it like when you work with people who don’t show gratitude? What’s it like when you work with people who do? Gratitude goes a long way with me, because gratitude is one of those things that remind us we are humans and not just cogs in a wheel. If you show me that you appreciate me, I will go out of my way to help you, even if you aren’t my boss or someone else who has “power” over me.

The secret I’ve learned is how powerful showing gratitude can be. It transforms the people you work with and it transforms the relationships you have with them. It makes those relationships stronger, so you can have real conversations with each other out of love. It makes those relationships stronger, so when you lean on the other person they hold you up. It’s not only good for the other person and the relationship, but showing gratitude is good for you too. Showing gratitude makes you realize how lucky and blessed you are to have the people you have in your life, and it keeps you centered and focused on the right things.

The challenge: Do you know the power of showing gratitude? Reach out and show some appreciation to 5 people today.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Magnets, a Compass, and True North (4-3-19)

This is going to be the last in our series inspired by science. We began with thermodynamics and inclusion. From there we moved to ionic bonds and vulnerability, and then we reflected on the power of catalysts. We spent a couple of weeks in physics thinking about Bernoulli’s principle and pressure, and Newton’s laws of motion. Last week was about centrifugal force and slowing life down. This week we will think about magnets, compasses, and north.

Let’s pretend for a moment that I dropped you off in the middle of the woods. Let’s pretend it was so foggy that you couldn’t see very well. From here, it was your job to get back to the cabin, and the only thing you know is that the cabin is due north. I’m assuming at this point, you’d be pretty concerned, because you’d be out in the middle of the forest and can’t really see anything. How would this change if you had a compass? I bet if you had a compass, you’d feel better. While you might not be able to see too far ahead of you, the compass would be able to guide you. Even with the fog, the compass would still work, because the compass doesn’t rely on visual cues. Instead, the compass relies on magnetism and its connection to the north pole.

You might be wondering what this has to do with work. How many times have you been in the middle of a conversation (or project) that swirled and swirled and swirled until everyone was lost, confused, or misaligned? How many times have you been the one leading those conversations? I’ve been there before…a lot… more times than I care to admit.

Why does this happen? Often we blame it on the complexity or ambiguity of the situation. There is some truth to this. However, complexity and ambiguity are like the forest and fog in the situation. They make it more difficult to get to north, but they don’t make it impossible. Many times, the reason why the conversations go sideways and end up with everyone lost, is because we lost focus on what north is. Essentially, we enter those conversations without a compass or never look at the compass during the conversation. Often, what these conversations require is someone connecting the group back to objective/end game aka true north to help guide people. For example, someone might say something like, “I appreciate all of the thoughts. The real problem we need to fix is X, so let’s make sure we focus on X.” Then that person can moderate the conversation to ensure it stays focused on solving X, because that is the true north in this situation.

The challenge: Are you establishing “north” aka the key objectives before beginning complicated conversations (or projects)? Are you brave enough to get people to pause and consult their compasses when they start to get lost?

Bonus Thought 1: Take the meeting example above and replace it with “life”. Until you find your true north, you will swirl and get lost.

Bonus thought 2: It’s okay if you don’t always know your true north right away in life and/or at work. At work I’m doing a lot of things for the first time in a new role, and I’m not always clear on what the objectives are. I’ve found that I need to pause when I’m in these situations to gain clarity on my objectives before rushing forward and getting lost in swirl.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Centrifugal Force, Merry-Go-Rounds, and Slowing Life Down (3-27-19)

Last week was about Newton’s laws of motion and moving people. This week we will stick with motion and reflect on centrifugal force, merry-go-rounds, and slowing life down.

I’m assuming that at one-point in all of our lives we have ridden on a merry-go-round or some kind of ride that spins you around in circles. Before the ride begins, we are stationary. As the ride starts to spin slowly, we initially don’t move too much from the center of the ride. However, as the ride picks up more speed, a force acts on us pushing us away from the center of the merry-go-round/ride and to the edges of the ride. The force that acts on us is centrifugal force. The bottom line is that the faster the thing is spinning the more the force works to push you to the outside, away from the center. If you want to get to the center, you need to find a way to slow things down.

You might be wondering where this is going. In many ways we spend our lives on an invisible merry-go-round balancing work, life, and everything that comes our way. Much like a merry-go-round, we have a center, where we are balanced, focused, and plugged into the things that matter most. The tricky thing is that unlike a merry-go-round, life never stops spinning (while we are living). This means that we always have some force pushing us away from our center. As life spins faster, we get further away from our center and lose focus.

What we often fail to realize is that we have the power to speed life up or slow life down. Have you ever been around a person who took something small and turned it into a huge deal spinning everything out of control? Have you ever been that person? I have. This is an example of taking something and speeding it up, further pushing us away from our center and making life difficult. On the opposite end, there are times when life has been going really fast and I’ve been able to say, “Does all of this actually matter? Is all of this really important?” (The answer is that 95% of things aren’t important.) Pausing to breathe and ask those questions has a powerful impact on slowing life down enough to where you can get closer to your center.

The challenge: On the merry-go-round of life, will you take the time to slow things down to get back to center?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Newton’s 1st Law and Moving People (3-20-19)

Last week was about Bernoulli’s principle and pressure with an added bonus note about giving Newton a high five. What many of you might not know is that Bernoulli’s principle connects well with Newton’s laws, so this week we are going to reflect on Isaac Newton’s first law of motion. (Look at that connection. #droppingEastereggslikethebunny)

The first law of motion is, “An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.” What this means is that objects tend to do what they are already doing. If a ball is on the ground completely still, it’s not going to move unless acted on by an external force like the wind or a kick from someone. If a ball is rolling down a hill, it is going to keep rolling unless it’s acted on by an external force like friction or a brick wall.

You might be wondering what this has to do with anything. I think you could rewrite the first law to include people. “A person will tend to stay stuck in one place unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.” Likewise, “A person will move in the same routine unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.” Have you ever felt stuck? Maybe you are in a tough relationship/job/project/spot in life. I’ve been there, and still find myself there from time to time. It always takes some kind of force to help me move. Usually it’s an external force, like a person who cares for me to say something or does something to help me move forward. On the flip side, have you ever found yourself locked in a way of thinking? You are the object in motion going in motion, going through the same actions, attacking problems in the exact same way, because that’s what you’ve always done. I’ve been there. Then, all of a sudden some outside force, maybe a coach, a mentor, or a friend gives you some insight that makes you pivot how you were operating, change direction, and get somewhere new.

The bottom line is that whether you are stuck or in motion down a path, often it takes a force to help us snap out of it and get moving or a force to help us readjust the way we are doing things. The thing is, we all have the power to be this force for each other. We all have the power to be the one to say a few kind words, offer some insights, extend a hand or a hug, and do a million other things to either get people moving or help them change direction.

The challenge: We can all be a force. Are you being a force for good that helps people move in the right direction?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Bernoulli’s Principle and Applying Pressure (3-13-19)

Last week was about catalysts and chemical reactions. This week we are going to reflect on Bernoulli’s principle and pressure. Let’s start with the principle. “In fluid dynamics, Bernoulli’s principle states that an increase in the speed of a fluid occurs simultaneously with a decrease in pressure (Wikipedia). It’s easy to get lost in that. The essence of this is that Bernoulli’s principle gives you the ability to understand how to manipulate pressure.

One of the most useful applications of Bernoulli’s principle is in aircraft flight. “If the air flowing past the top surface of an aircraft wing is moving faster than the air flowing past the bottom surface, then Bernoulli’s principle implies that the pressure on the surfaces of the wing will be lower above than below. This pressure difference results in an upwards lifting force.” (Wikipedia). A person designing wings for planes needs to understand Bernoulli’s principle, so they can appropriately manipulate and harness the power of pressure. If you don’t harness pressure correctly then a few bad things could happen. For example, the plane never takes off, it comes down too hard, and/or it spirals in the air out of control.

Besides being lost in a nerdtastic rabbit hole, you might be wondering what this has to do with anything. Last time I checked, we don’t design wings for airplanes. At the same time, I’d argue that we are all leaders, and leaders are people who need to understand and harness the power of pressure to lift us to new heights. As leaders, we direct pressure with the expectations we set, how big we dream, and how much we are willing to push each other. Much like an airplane, if we don’t harness the power of pressure correctly bad things can happen. If we don’t do things to create enough positive pressure, then we never create the upward lift that helps people reach their full potential. If we create too much downward pressure, we crush people and keep them from every flying. If we apply uneven pressure throughout the journey we send people spiraling. I know because I’ve had leaders do all of these things, and more importantly I’ve made all those mistakes.

The challenge: How can we harness pressure for positive change?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Catalysts and Chemical Reactions (3-6-19)

Last week was about ionic bonds and vulnerability. This week is about catalysts and chemical reactions. Thanks to Bethany Thomson for the suggestion. A chemical reaction occurs when molecules unleash their kinetic energy while colliding into each other. If their kinetic energy is high enough to make it through the transition state then the reaction occurs and the materials are transformed into a new product. A catalyst is something that speeds up the chemical reaction, but is not consumed by it. Essentially, a catalyst is an energy efficient boost that helps get molecules moving so they can make it past the activation barrier to hit the reaction and create a new output. (https://www.chemicool.com/definition/catalyst.html)

So what does this have to do with anything? I’d argue that we are all different chemicals bouncing around trying to create some kind of reaction that leads to better relationships, better products for our customers, higher engagement, better quality of life, etc. Doing these things are difficult and require a lot of energy, and it requires people having the right amount of kinetic energy to make it through the transition state to get to the amazing output on the other side.

This is why it’s important to have people who can be a catalyst. Have you ever been around a person who just makes things easier and makes things move faster? I can think of certain people that I love to brainstorm with, because they help the group propel through the nasty mud. There are certain people I have clicked with where we are able to go from a surface level relationship to a meaningful relationship incredibly quickly. Have you ever been around a person who is an inhibitor (the opposite of a catalyst), and seems to make everything harder than it needs to be? What is the difference between someone who is a catalyst and someone who is an inhibitor? The people I think of as catalysts are the ones who do the “soft little things” correctly and consistently. They are the ones who show people how much they appreciate and care about them, who listen before speaking, who seek to understand, who find ways to say, “Yes…and” instead of “Yes… BUT”, and constantly offer encouragement. What other behaviors would make someone a catalyst?

The challenge: We all have a chance to be a catalyst. What are you doing to help propel people/relationships/work forward? Are you exhibiting catalyst behaviors?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Ionic Bonds and Vulnerability (2-27-19)

Last week was about thermodynamics and inclusion. At the core of inclusion is building relationships, so this week is about ionic bonds, vulnerability, and building relationships.

Essentially, an ionic bond is when a positively charged ion forms a bond with a negatively charged ion. In order to do this, one atom transfers electrons from itself to another atom (www.yourdictionary.com). Said in an entirely different way, in order for an ionic bond to work, one of the atoms has to transfer one of its electrons to the other element. Once this occurs, a bond is formed. The image to the right depicts Sodium and Chloride. They start as separate atoms, then Sodium gives an electron to Chloride and a bond is formed. Once this bond is formed, Sodium Chloride becomes table salt.

You’re probably wondering where this is going. The thing that interests me about ionic bonds is the fact that an atom has to be willing to give up part of itself (an electron) to make the bond happen. If the atom doesn’t give part of itself away, then the bond can never form. This reminds me of the way that vulnerability and relationships work. In order to form a connection with someone else, you have to be brave enough and willing enough to be vulnerable. You have to be willing to share a part of yourself with them. As you share parts of yourself with each other, you give yourselves an opportunity to have powerful bonds form.

Being willing to share part of yourself doesn’t mean you have to share your deepest and darkest secrets right away. What it does mean is that you have to share something about who you are. Maybe you share things about your family. Maybe you share things about your favorite hobbies and passions. Maybe you talk about some of your favorite memories. Whatever it is, you need to share, and as you share electrons, you open up the chance for a strong bond to form.

The challenge: Are you brave enough to be vulnerable? Are you sharing parts of yourself with others to form a bond?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry