An Open Letter to 2024 (12-4-24)

As the year comes to a close, I’ve once again taken time to sit near my Christmas tree and reflect. Here is my open letter to 2024, and the lessons it gave me.

Dear 2024,

How’s it going? If I had to sum up my experience with you in one word it would be, “Whoa!” Whoa as in, “Whoa! What the heck just happened?” or “Whoa! That’s enough already. You don’t need to keep pouring it on.” And “Whoa! How in the world did we make it through all that?” You were tough from the get-go, and you never let up.

My theme for this year was to “Intentionally Invest” There were some places in life where I failed miserable in investing in the right things, and instead spent energy and time like crazy just trying to make it. There were other areas where I did invest well, and I’m already benefiting from the compound interest from those efforts.
I’m so thankful for my health and continue to understand why I shouldn’t ever take that for granted.
I hope that everyone finds a partner one day that loves them, supports them, cares for people, and holds things down the way my wife does. If you’ve already found someone like that, make sure you count your blessings.
If my kids were flowers, they would be in full bloom now, and that’s beautiful. If they were flowers, they would also be bright and colorful with creative weird patterns, who grow where they are planted while learning how to try out new soil.
My goal in my job is always to work magic, to find ways to do the seemingly impossible. I’m so proud of myself, because I know I worked magic this year. I worked blood magic, sweat magic, tears magic. I transformed dreams and wild ideas into reality and slayed the status quo like an evil dragon. And when the dementors tried to come and suck out my soul, I yelled, “Expecto patronum” and shined a bright light until they retreated. #Hufflepuff (Side note, I wonder what my patronus would be. Bonus points to anyone who gives me a good answer)
2024, you taught me how important it is to have a few good people you can lean on. I worked magic, because I could lean on them when I needed to. I hope you all have a squad of folks you can lean on when stuff gets hard.
Being seen and being valued are two of the most important gifts you can give someone. Never underestimate how much a kind word or gesture can mean. Special thanks to all the people who gave me those gifts this year.
When the going got tough, I didn’t put the team on my back, I brought them into my heart. There’s a difference. The back merely holds heavy weight. The heart holds weight, embraces the people, and still beats with hopeful energy. The heart is stronger than other muscles could ever hope to be.
This year reminded me how much strength there is in vulnerability, and how similar our experiences are as humans. I had a blog series where I talked about going to therapy, not knowing if people had any similar feelings or issues. I was blown away by the number of people who said, “Whoa! This is the same things I’m going through.” It was a good reminder that we are never truly alone, and that being brave enough to share our stories hopes us all.
I think almost everyone I’ve spoken to is on the verge of burnout or a breakdown. I pray we all recharge and we find ways to avoid this next year.
Speaking of recharge, I’m finally making some progress on taking care of myself physically. Been working out regularly and seeing increases in strength. I have a long way to go, but proud of my progress.
Whoa! That’s a lot for one year. I hope that 2025 is a little bit smoother around all the spiky edges 😉

The challenge: If you haven’t taken the time, take a few moments to reflect on 2024 and the lessons and emotions it gave you this year. How will these shape you moving forward?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Impostor Syndrome and Being Confident in Who You Are (11-13-24)

This will be our last entry about impostor syndrome. This week is about how being confident in who we are helps fight impostor syndrome.

A few months ago, someone reached out to me to speak about AI at an upcoming market research conference. As I’ve mentioned before, Impostor Syndrome takes chances like this to whisper to me that I’m not a technical expert. Normally, that would make me feel bad. However, this time I redirected the whispers from Impostor Syndrome.

I responded back to the individual and I said, “Thanks for the invite. I want to be clear on my role. If you are looking for a tech expert who knows all the ins and outs, that’s not me. I’ll be happy to connect you to someone who can do that for you. If you’re looking for a dreamer who is trying to drive solutions and change in his org, I’d be happy to chat.” The person responded and let me know they were looking for the latter, and that made me feel confident I could deliver. My impostor feelings instantly evaporated, and now I’m on a panel to speak at TMRE (The Market Research Event) in a few weeks. #pumped

Let’s connect some more dots. Do you ever feel like you need to be all things to all people? I do. This is one of the easiest ways to get lured into a situation where you are an impostor. The way to defend against this is to know who you are, what your strengths are, and what your weaknesses are. In our story, I leveraged the whispers of Impostor Syndrome to make sure I’d never be an impostor. It told me that I wasn’t X, and I said, “Based on the evidence you’re right. If they want X, I’m not the guy. If they want Y, then I’m a good fit.” Once I confirmed they wanted Y, all doubts and worries of being an impostor went away, because I know who I am.

The challenge: Will you confidently embrace who you are and who you aren’t?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

When and Why Impostor Syndrome Shows Up (11-6-24)

Spiritual Growth Last week was about impostor syndrome and listening to the positive whispers. This week is about understanding when and why impostor syndrome rears its ugly head.

I’ve had a lot more impostor syndrome over the past couple of months than I normally do. This has caused me to pause and wonder why, which led me to an epiphany. Impostor syndrome doesn’t show up as I brush my teeth. It doesn’t show up when I make myself breakfast in the morning or when I drive into work. Impostor syndrome doesn’t show up whenever I’m doing anything at home or work that is routine or easy.

Do you know when impostor syndrome shows up? It shows up when I’m pushing boundaries. It shows up when I’m doing something new. It shows up when I’m doing something challenging. All of those things bring nervousness and fear, and that’s when impostor syndrome shows up. Everything I’m doing at work right now involves challenging the status quo, carving paths through new frontiers, and pushing myself as a leader further than I thought possible. No wonder impostor syndrome has been so loud lately. 😉

What does this have to do with anything? When impostor syndrome first shows up, I often think it’s a me problem. I view it as a sign of my own weakness. I view it as a warning that I’m about to fail. Do you ever feel this way? Now, I’m beginning to view impostor syndrome a little differently. If impostor syndrome only shows up when I’m pushing myself, then impostor syndrome isn’t a sign of my weakness. Impostor syndrome is actually a sign that I’m on the verge of growing. If I view it this way, I can lean in and push forward instead of being paralyzed by it.

The challenge: How will you reinterpret what impostor syndrome means?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Impostor Syndrome and the Positive Whisper (10-30-24)

This week is about impostor syndrome and listening to positive whispers. I’ve been reflecting quite a bit about everything going on at work, all the challenges, and my attempts to lead through those things. All of that reflecting ultimately crystalized into something. I was in a meeting yesterday, there was great energy, and it’s like I heard a little positive whisper that said, “You’re doing pretty good at this stuff.”

Normally, Impostor Syndrome would catch a whiff of this positive whisper and rush to crush it. However, this time, I didn’t give Impostor Syndrome the chance to snuff out that flame. This time, I sat with the positive whisper for a bit. I shielded the whisper from being snuffed out, and I slowed down to stay with the whisper before rushing off. It was kind of like stepping outside of my body for a second, as the positive whisper kept talking to me, “Andrew, you may not be perfect, but you’re a lot of the things you appreciate from your favorite leaders. You’re challenging the status quo, casting a vision, navigating ambiguity, engaging people, and making trade-offs. You’re doing pretty good at this stuff. Make sure you see that.”

Let’s make some connections. Have you ever had Impostor Syndrome crush your momentum and belief in yourself? It happens to me all the time. I’ll start to have a positive thought like, “I’m doing well,” and then Impostor Syndrome will say, “But you messed up all of these things. Look at that chain of mistakes. They are going to find out you aren’t the real deal.” It wasn’t until I heard the positive whisper that I realized how incredibly deafening and all-consuming Impostor Syndrome can be. Have you ever realized this? We are so quick to allow the Impostor Syndrome to be loud and tear us down. At the same time, we are so slow to protect and encourage the fragile positive whisper. It doesn’t have to be this way. If we are willing to sit with the positive whisper, often that’s enough for it to grow and get through.

The challenge: Will you hear the positive whisper? How can you sit with and encourage the positive whisper?

Bonus: If you don’t hear the positive whisper right now allow me to be that, “You’re an awesome human. You’re doing a nice job of hanging in there. You’re pretty good at this life stuff.”

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Bonus- Impostor Syndrome and Distorting How You View Yourself (10-23-24)

I have a bonus follow-up to today’s blog. A friend and colleague of mine responded to my blog this morning and I had to share because it hit me hard and made things so clear. It’s another take on impostor syndrome distorting the way you view yourself.

From my friend- What’s funny is even in your thoughts here, you are selling yourself short – “They’ve worked with all kinds of amazing companies” “They have done work with heads of huge companies”. That’s you, too. Lilly is top ten biggest company in the world by market cap (ahead of tesla, Walmart, visa etc.) and you have made a big name for yourself here. You have the accolades and connections in one of the premier companies in the world – and yet imposter syndrome would tell you it doesn’t “count” for you. Personally, it sucks because it makes me discredit all my accomplishments “(right place at the right time, got lucky, was propelled by better people)”. It’s like everyone else earned their accomplishments except I just happened to stumble upon mine, so they don’t really count.

Deep thoughts, right? My friend makes a great point. It’s so weird that I would sell myself so short. Do you ever do the same? It’s like I see my reflection through a distorted funhouse mirror. Seriously, if I met someone and they said, “I’m responsible for reimagining market research. I’m the business lead for our market research AI efforts, and my company is one of the top 10 most valued in the world,” I’d be like, “Dang! That’s impressive! How do I get on their level?” That impressive person IS ME. Even though that person is me, I don’t view myself in that way, because impostor syndrome wants me to shrink myself. Impostor syndrome messes with my reflection. Sometimes, we need to step back to look through a more objective lens to see a true reflection.

The challenge- Will you step back and look at the big picture when impostor syndrome tries to make you feel small?

Bonus- A few “step back and see your awesomeness” moments that come to mind in case you are feeling a bit small

You are not just a parent. You are a builder of incredibly fierce, independent, and strong adults. You are the hug that held them when they cried that they will never forget. You are a crafter of curriculums, teaching lessons that last and unlocking levels of curiosity kids never knew they had. (#mywife)
You aren’t just a market researcher. You are an investigative reporter scouting sources, finding truth, and enabling people to make HUGE decisions that set the trajectory of million dollar brands (Here’s a poem about being a researcher Click HERE.
You aren’t just a college professor. You are a sage leaving lasting wisdom with students (#ProfessorSkinner).
You’re not just a sales professional. You are someone who manages a business and generates millions of dollars in revenue.
You aren’t just a middle manager. You are a leader of the team leaving a lasting legacy on the people in your care.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Impostor Syndrome and Your Unique Genius (10-23-24)

Last week was about impostor syndrome and the unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves. This week is about impostor syndrome and embracing your own unique genius.

I’m working with an amazing group of individuals right now. These people are absolutely brilliant in their field. They’ve worked with all kinds of amazing companies and people. If I’m being 100% honest, I often feel self-conscious and dumb around them. It’s nothing they’ve done. Impostor Syndrome whispers, “Did you hear all their accolades? They have done work with heads of huge companies. You’re kind of chump change. You’re not smart like them. You’re not in their league.”

Over time, something interesting started happening. This group of amazing people started telling me how much they value my input. At first, I was confused by this. I’m not in their league, so how am I valuable? I then begin to appreciate that I have context, insight, and skillsets they might not have. I’m not smart in THEIR way. I’m smart in MY OWN WAY. It just so happens that my unique genius has a synergistic effect that enables them to get even more out of their strengths.

Let’s make some connection. Have you ever been in a group of brilliant people and felt dumb or out of place? Has Impostor Syndrome ever told you that you don’t belong, and that you aren’t in their league? Per my story above, you know I’ve been there. My most important learning is I didn’t need to be smart or talented like them. I just needed to be smart and talented like me. We each have our own UNIQUE genius. We each have something special about us that inherently makes us valuable and worthy. Often, it’s the ability to combine the unique geniuses of multiple people that truly creates something magical.

The challenge: Will you embrace your own unique genius to combat impostor syndrome?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Impostor Syndrome and Unrealistic Expectations (10-16-24)

Last week was about being an impostor vs making mistakes. This week is about impostor syndrome and unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves.

In my current role, I’m focused on leading innovation for market research. This includes spearheading AI efforts. As I lead those efforts, Impostor Syndrome whispers to me constantly. It says things like, “Andrew, you aren’t fit for this role. You don’t know anything. You can’t name all the different AI technologies out there. You don’t understand how each AI engine tokenizes data differently. You can’t even vectorize a database. If you can’t do those things, how can you lead any AI efforts?” Not gonna lie. Those whispers are strong and make me doubt myself and question my value in a big way.

Here’s the thing. If I zoom out and look at the evidence, no one is expecting me to be able to do those things. Those are unrealistic expectations I’m putting on myself. What do they expect of me? They expect me to be able to understand the needs of the business and our market research community. They expect me to be able to translate those needs into a vision that reshapes our futures. They expect me to connect with internal teammates and external partners to find the AI experts who know how to vectorize databases and can build AI solutions. Sorting through complexity to find needs, translating needs into a vision, partnering with people, and letting my imagination run wild are all things that are MY JAM! I can do those things well, and while I’m not anywhere close to done I’m proud of what I’ve helped make happen in the AI space with the incredible teams I work with.

Let’s connect some dots. Does my story sound familiar to you? Have you ever felt listened to the whispers of Impostor Syndrome? Have you ever been tricked into listening to unrealistic expectations? If so, welcome to the club 😉 This happens to me way more than I’d like.

The solution is always taking a step back to look at the evidence. Are those expectations that Impostor Syndrome keeps whispering to you real? Probably not. Is anyone else holding you to those same expectations? Probably not. If those are false expectations, what are the real expectations? How do your experiences and skillsets stack up to those? I bet you are so much more competent and better than you initially believed.

The challenge: Will you be willing to challenge the expectations Impostor Syndrome whispers to you?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Learning to Listen to What You Need (7-10-24)

I hope you all enjoyed the 4^th of July holiday! The last entry was about expanding your comfort zone. This entry is about listening to what you need.

Cam came home after a particularly long rehearsal and was irritable. It had been a long week of rehearsals and other commitments. He was exhausted and grouchy. He comes home and says, “I’m grumpy. I just need to go flump.” In our house, flumping is like collapsing onto a softer cushiony service like a bed or a chair. Sometimes the flump also includes snuggling, reading, or just listening to music. In this instance, Cam flumped on his bed in his room and read his favorite book for 10-15 minutes. He then emerged from his room feeling so much better and was ready to face the world again. (Pic from Pawz Pet Café where you can go to snuggle some cats. #advancedflumping)

What does this have to do with anything? I love and am so impressed with how well Cameron can listen to what he needs in a moment and then act on that. He knew he was irritable and grumpy, and he knew that all he needed was 10-15 minutes to read to recharge his batteries. That’s wisdom and awareness that I don’t always have.

Meanwhile, here is how things play out for me. I don’t fully understand how upset I am at the moment and continue to keep pushing forward while a lot of time goes by. Eventually, I accidentally stumble into doing something along the way that is what I need whether that’s going on a walk, writing, reading a book, or something else. All of a sudden I feel a bit better, and then I say to myself, “Dang, I didn’t realize how much negative energy I was carrying. I wish I would have paused and did this thing sooner to deal with it.” Anyone else like that, or is it just me? I’m getting a bit better at listening to myself, but I’m not where I want to be yet.

The challenge: How can we do a better job of listening to ourselves and taking action?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Discomfort, Paralysis, and the Glacier Leap (2-7-24)

Last week was about discomfort and psychological safety. This week is about discomfort, paralysis, and the Glacier Leap.

The Glacier Leap is one of the obstacles at the Abominable Snow Race. You start by climbing up an incline wall (covered in snow/ice/slush) until you are on top of the first structure and about 7 or 8 feet off the ground. This is where things get interesting. You have to jump to the next structure making sure you position your body correctly and grab the bar tightly or you will fall.

When I got to the top of the structure, I watched as people would stand at the edge and peer down. You could feel them becoming more and more uncomfortable until they ultimately became paralyzed at the thought of falling. At that point, they wouldn’t jump. Instead, they’d turn around and climb down without ever giving it a try. I knew that the same thing would happen to me if I didn’t move quickly. I made a decision. I would step up to the edge, count out loud, and jump on three. Any more hesitation and the discomfort would turn to fear would turn to paralysis. So, I stepped up, counted to three and jumped! My hands grasped the bar, my feet hit a patch of ice on the wood, and I instantly slid down and fell. It wasn’t exactly pleasant. 😉 At this point, I was determined (or dumb), and refused to let this obstacle beat me. I climbed back up. This time I had an advantage, because I knew exactly what the discomfort felt like. I knew exactly what falling felt like. I had survived, and now those things weren’t so scary. I stepped up, counted to three, and jumped! This time I made it! With my heart beating out of my chest, I stepped up and jumped to the next platform! Success!

What does this have to do with anything? Whether you’re doing an obstacle course race or performing your role at work, sooner or later we all run into a patch of discomfort. When that happens it is easy for the discomfort to turn into fear which turns into paralysis. Have you ever experienced this at work? I know I have. I’ve walked out of situations and said, “I wish I would have asked this. I wish I would have said that. I wish I would have done something different, but I just froze.”

I wish I had a magic way to avoid this, but I haven’t uncovered one yet. All I’ve found is that once the discomfort starts setting in, I need to move. I need to take some kind of action before the discomfort becomes fear and before the fear becomes paralysis. During the obstacle course race I counted to three and then jumped. Counting was the trigger to move. What could your trigger to move be at work? Maybe you write down the statement or question you think you’ll want to make, so when you start to freeze you can just read off the paper. Maybe your action isn’t dealing with something that day, but scheduling time on calendars to handle it in the future. Maybe it’s recognizing that the paralysis is taking over and just stepping out of the situation to catch your breath.

The challenge: How will you ensure discomfort doesn’t paralyze you?

#yetination #abominablesnowrace

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry