Tag: writing

Learning to Listen to What You Need (7-10-24)

I hope you all enjoyed the 4th of July holiday!  The last entry was about expanding your comfort zone.  This entry is about listening to what you need.

Cam came home after a particularly long rehearsal and was irritable.  It had been a long week of rehearsals and other commitments.  He was exhausted and grouchy.  He comes home and says, “I’m grumpy.  I just need to go flump.”  In our house, flumping is like collapsing onto a softer cushiony service like a bed or a chair.  Sometimes the flump also includes snuggling, reading, or just listening to music.  In this instance, Cam flumped on his bed in his room and read his favorite book for 10-15 minutes.  He then emerged from his room feeling so much better and was ready to face the world again.  (Pic from Pawz Pet Café where you can go to snuggle some cats. #advancedflumping)

What does this have to do with anything?  I love and am so impressed with how well Cameron can listen to what he needs in a moment and then act on that.  He knew he was irritable and grumpy, and he knew that all he needed was 10-15 minutes to read to recharge his batteries.  That’s wisdom and awareness that I don’t always have.

Meanwhile, here is how things play out for me.  I don’t fully understand how upset I am at the moment and continue to keep pushing forward while a lot of time goes by.  Eventually, I accidentally stumble into doing something along the way that is what I need whether that’s going on a walk, writing, reading a book, or something else.  All of a sudden I feel a bit better, and then I say to myself, “Dang, I didn’t realize how much negative energy I was carrying.  I wish I would have paused and did this thing sooner to deal with it.”  Anyone else like that, or is it just me?  I’m getting a bit better at listening to myself, but I’m not where I want to be yet.

The challenge: How can we do a better job of listening to ourselves and taking action?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Discomfort, Paralysis, and the Glacier Leap (2-7-24)

Last week was about discomfort and psychological safety.  This week is about discomfort, paralysis, and the Glacier Leap.

The Glacier Leap is one of the obstacles at the Abominable Snow Race.  You start by climbing up an incline wall (covered in snow/ice/slush) until you are on top of the first structure and about 7 or 8 feet off the ground.  This is where things get interesting.  You have to jump to the next structure making sure you position your body correctly and grab the bar tightly or you will fall.

When I got to the top of the structure, I watched as people would stand at the edge and peer down.  You could feel them becoming more and more uncomfortable until they ultimately became paralyzed at the thought of falling.  At that point, they wouldn’t jump.  Instead, they’d turn around and climb down without ever giving it a try.  I knew that the same thing would happen to me if I didn’t move quickly.  I made a decision.  I would step up to the edge, count out loud, and jump on three.  Any more hesitation and the discomfort would turn to fear would turn to paralysis.  So, I stepped up, counted to three and jumped!  My hands grasped the bar, my feet hit a patch of ice on the wood, and I instantly slid down and fell.  It wasn’t exactly pleasant. 😉  At this point, I was determined (or dumb), and refused to let this obstacle beat me.  I climbed back up.  This time I had an advantage, because I knew exactly what the discomfort felt like. I knew exactly what falling felt like.  I had survived, and now those things weren’t so scary.  I stepped up, counted to three, and jumped!  This time I made it!  With my heart beating out of my chest, I stepped up and jumped to the next platform!  Success!

What does this have to do with anything?  Whether you’re doing an obstacle course race or performing your role at work, sooner or later we all run into a patch of discomfort.  When that happens it is easy for the discomfort to turn into fear which turns into paralysis.  Have you ever experienced this at work?  I know I have.  I’ve walked out of situations and said, “I wish I would have asked this.  I wish I would have said that.  I wish I would have done something different, but I just froze.”

I wish I had a magic way to avoid this, but I haven’t uncovered one yet.  All I’ve found is that once the discomfort starts setting in, I need to move.  I need to take some kind of action before the discomfort becomes fear and before the fear becomes paralysis.  During the obstacle course race I counted to three and then jumped.  Counting was the trigger to move.  What could your trigger to move be at work?  Maybe you write down the statement or question you think you’ll want to make, so when you start to freeze you can just read off the paper.  Maybe your action isn’t dealing with something that day, but scheduling time on calendars to handle it in the future.  Maybe it’s recognizing that the paralysis is taking over and just stepping out of the situation to catch your breath.

The challenge: How will you ensure discomfort doesn’t paralyze you?

#yetination #abominablesnowrace

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry