Last week I spent time with my wife, kids, and family up at a camper.  We started reminiscing around a bonfire and shared the story of us moving back to Indiana, which inspired this series.  This week is about how people can be in the same situation and have different experiences.

Let me set the scene.  It’s a stressful whirlwind.  Within a few months, we had our first kid, the first grandkid on my side, I got a new job that would move us from Wisconsin to Indiana, and we had to buy a house.  To top it off, we had to do this while I worked in Wisconsin and Diane and a few months old Alice went to Indiana for a month to begin house hunting.  They lived with my parents, my brother, 2 cats, and a dog.  #stress  While Diane and Alice are living with my parents, Alice is only a few months old and is being a typical colicky newborn with constant crying, loud screaming, and irregular sleep.  #allthethings 

When I spoke with Diane on the phone, she was worried that she and Alice were being an annoying burden for the family.  From her point of view, all she could see was the screaming, crying, and the disruption in day-to-day schedules for everyone in the house.  I told Diane, “I hear you.  What you are saying is valid.  Also, that is not at all how my parents are experiencing this right now.  When I talk to them, they go on and on about how they are so excited and lucky because their first ever grandkid is LIVING WITH THEM.  In their eyes, you and Alice can do no wrong.  They are so pumped to be able to spend this time with you two and they love being able to snuggle and love on Alice all the time.” 

Let’s connect some dots.  Everything my wife experienced was true.  Everything my parents experienced was true.  The thing is that they were both approaching this from a different starting point.  This is a classic instance of people being in the same situation and having different experiences.  As we go throughout different experiences, it might be worth taking a moment to reflect on the situation, our starting point, and how that might cause us to interpret things one way or another.

The challenge: How will you be more mindful of how you are experiencing situations?  Will you remember that people could be experiencing the same situation differently?

Bonus 1- Big thanks to Charlie Wilson and Bryan Lapel for offering me the job and enabling us to come home. I’m forever thankful.

Bonus 2 (cute story)- My family knew I was going for this job, and we also all thought I had a pretty slim chance to get it.  Anyway, I had just got off the phone with Charlie where he offered me the role, and I was so excited!  I immediately told Diane and was getting ready to tell my dad when he called me.  I asked him what he was doing, and he said he just got new tires put on his vehicle, so he’s ready to drive up to Wisconsin a lot and in the winter to see the grandbaby.  Nonchalantly I said, “That sounds cool.  Wisconsin is a beautiful state.  You can drive up here all you want, but I won’t be living here.”  Immediately my dad is like, “WHAT!?!?”  I told him I got the job and then he’s ecstatic and like, “You better not be messing with me man!”  I assure him I’m not and that Diane and I are excited about moving closer to home.  I ask my dad to have my mom call me, so I can tell her.  Hours go by and I don’t hear from my mom, which I think is weird.  Eventually, she calls me, and I share the news with her. She’s ecstatic.  Then, she’s getting onto my dad for not having her call sooner, and the poor guy is like, “I kept nudging you to call Andrew, but you were busy and said you’d call when you had time!” lol

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry