Transformers and More than Meets the Eye (12-5-18)

This is the final entry on lessons we can learn from cartoons.  We started with Pinky and The Brain and having the grit and determination to take over the world.  From there, we moved to Avatar and reflected on where we draw our strength from.  Then, we moved Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles thoughts about evolving with changing context.  After that we reflected on Inspector Gadget and lifting others up to be seen.  In our final entry, we will focus on Transformers and seeing beyond the surface. 

When I was a little kid (4 or 5), I loved Transformers. I was so obsessed with the cartoon that I called family members by Transformer’s names.  My grandma was Bumblebee and my aunt was Sideswipe.  During my aunt’s wedding I’ve been told that I yelled, “Hurry up Sideswipe, walk down here!” as she was walking down the aisle.  (And you thought I couldn’t get any nerdier or charming.  #alwaysreadytogotothenextnerdylevel)

Anyway, in case you aren’t familiar with Transformers it is about an alien race locked in a civil war.  There are the heroic Autobots led by Optimus Prime and the evil Decepticons led by Megatron.  These robotic aliens became known as Transformers, because they had the ability to transform from robot form to another form to blend in with their surroundings.  Most of the time, they took on the shape of some kind of vehicle, but sometimes they would change into other things like a radio, giant microscope, or even dinosaurs. 

So what do Transformers have to do with anything?  You might be aware of the fact that Transformers is often associated with the tagline “more than meets the eye”.  This is because of the fact that in this universe a person could see a car on the road, but maybe it wasn’t just a car.  Maybe it was a robot.  Maybe it was an Autobot.  Maybe it was a Decepticon.  There was always more to it than first glance, and you never quite knew what you would end up discovering.

This all reminds me of people.  We are all Transformers, meaning that often what you see on the surface isn’t the only thing there.  People are often “more than meets the eye”.  How many times in life have you looked at someone and said, “Yep, I know who exactly who and what they are,” and then later been surprised by how much additional depth was there?  I know it happens to me.  At first glance it’s easy to take in the first thing you see, but it requires patience, curiosity, and the willingness to learn about each other to see what might be below the surface.

The challenge: How often do you remember that people are “more than meets the eye”?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Lessons Learned from being a Dad Part 5- Disciplining out of Love (9-10-14)

There are two lessons I have learned since becoming a parent that work hand in hand with each other.

  • Lesson 1- Parenting is the name for a lifelong coaching session.
  • Lesson 2- You can discipline or give feedback to a child out of love or out of negative intent.

Alice acts up sometimes and when she does I have to admit that she’s not always my favorite person in the world (Bonus lesson: Having kids means loving them always, but not always liking them).  I don’t like having stern conversations with her and disciplining her.  It’s not easy and it’s not fun.  The reason I do it though, is because I love her so much that I want to help her grow up and become a good woman.  I want her to be polite, nice, generous, caring, loving, etc.  I don’t want her breaking stuff, being disrespectful, etc.  I do NOT have these conversations with her to prove that I’m smarter, more powerful, or authoritarian.  (The picture is Alice right before she transforms into “Defiant Temper Tantrum Throwing Alice”.  Transform.  Get it?  She’s wearing an Optimus Prime shirt.  #dadsaysboysaredecepticons)

I’ve noticed the same thing when it comes to giving people feedback.  For me, what the person says and how they say it is not as important as the intent behind the words.  I’ve had conversations with people who give me feedback by saying things like, “Dude, you’re kind of being an idiot and a jerk” or “I’m not feeling that at all” or “That kind of sucks” but I knew they were having the conversations out of love so it was okay.  I know other people who say things that sound nicer like, “I have a little coaching for you if you’ll take it,” which is actually code for “I’m smarter than you are and think you should do things my way.”  Let’s just say that’s not the best way to get me to do anything.  It’s not just the words.  It’s the intent behind them.

In my daughter’s case, I have to constantly demonstrate that I love her and care about her so she always can at least see my intent.  I’d say we have the opportunity to do the same with our co-workers.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry