Last week we ended the series of lessons I’ve learned from my daughters by talking about a game I play with Alice where we build a bridge between two people.  The main idea is that it doesn’t matter how different two people are as long as they are willing to build a bridge to connect them.  This week I want to continue with that theme of connection by talking about shoes.  What shoes are you wearing right now?  How do they impact the way you walk? 

There is an adage that if you want to get to know someone you need to walk a mile in their shoes.  I think another way of looking at this wisdom is to understand how the shoes you wear on a daily basis impact the way you walk and experience the world.  Understanding how your walk might be the same and different from other people is an important ingredient in trying to connect with each other.

I’d like to share a situation where my shoes impact my world.  When I go to the store alone with the girls I can’t tell you how many people say things along the lines of, “You’re such a great dad spending time with your girls.”  Whether it’s verbal or non-verbal the fact is I get bonus points for spending time with my kids in public places.  Basically the world applauds me for buying groceries.  Weird, right?  This doesn’t happen for my wife.  My wife doesn’t get a pat on the back for taking the girls grocery shopping.  Along those same lines nobody ever asks or expects me to “juggle it all” with work and family.  No one has ever implied that I love my kids less because I work, but this has happened to working moms that I know.  All of these things happen, because I’m a male who happens to be a dad and the expectations from society are different for me and my wife.  In short, my shoes impact my walk.  

The above examples were gender differences between parents.  We could talk all day about other dimensions and I’d be able to share where my shoes make my walk a little different from other folks.  Sometimes it would be positive and sometimes it would be negative.  Overall, it’s easier to say that we are all the same versus dealing with the complexity of everyone walking in different shoes that impact the way we walk.  If we want to have true connections then we need to understand our own shoes and how they make us walk, so we can find the right materials to build bridges. 

The challenge: Do you know how your shoes impact the way you walk?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry