Tag: self-worth

Impostor Syndrome and Unrealistic Expectations (10-16-24)

Last week was about being an impostor vs making mistakes.  This week is about impostor syndrome and unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves.

In my current role, I’m focused on leading innovation for market research.  This includes spearheading AI efforts.  As I lead those efforts, Impostor Syndrome whispers to me constantly.  It says things like, “Andrew, you aren’t fit for this role.  You don’t know anything.  You can’t name all the different AI technologies out there.  You don’t understand how each AI engine tokenizes data differently.  You can’t even vectorize a database.  If you can’t do those things, how can you lead any AI efforts?”  Not gonna lie.  Those whispers are strong and make me doubt myself and question my value in a big way. 

Here’s the thing.  If I zoom out and look at the evidence, no one is expecting me to be able to do those things.  Those are unrealistic expectations I’m putting on myself.  What do they expect of me?  They expect me to be able to understand the needs of the business and our market research community.  They expect me to be able to translate those needs into a vision that reshapes our futures.  They expect me to connect with internal teammates and external partners to find the AI experts who know how to vectorize databases and can build AI solutions.  Sorting through complexity to find needs, translating needs into a vision, partnering with people, and letting my imagination run wild are all things that are MY JAM!  I can do those things well, and while I’m not anywhere close to done I’m proud of what I’ve helped make happen in the AI space with the incredible teams I work with.

Let’s connect some dots.  Does my story sound familiar to you?  Have you ever felt listened to the whispers of Impostor Syndrome?  Have you ever been tricked into listening to unrealistic expectations?  If so, welcome to the club 😉  This happens to me way more than I’d like.

The solution is always taking a step back to look at the evidence.  Are those expectations that Impostor Syndrome keeps whispering to you real?  Probably not.  Is anyone else holding you to those same expectations?  Probably not.  If those are false expectations, what are the real expectations?  How do your experiences and skillsets stack up to those?  I bet you are so much more competent and better than you initially believed.

The challenge: Will you be willing to challenge the expectations Impostor Syndrome whispers to you?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Hammers and Feeling Valued (10-13-21)

Last week was about struggling with feeling like you aren’t enough and realizing you are.  We will build on that this week by reflecting on hammers and feeling valued.   

Months ago, I used a hammer to hang some pictures in my house.  More recently, when I had to pictures in my house I decided to use command strips, because they better fit my needs at the time.  I wonder… did the hammer ever feel abandoned in the toolbox?  Did it look out and wonder if it was useful, if I was able to use something else to hang pictures?  Did it ever wonder if it was a bad hammer, since I wasn’t using it more often?  Did it wonder if its skillset was even valuable anymore?

Where is this going?  Throughout this year there are times when I’ve attempted something and failed.  There have been times I’ve faced rejection.  It was hard for me to not take the failure and the rejection personally.  Similar to the hammer in my analogy, I often wondered, “I’m a good hammer, right?  I’m a valuable hammer, right?  I think I’m a hammer who can be useful.  Is that true?”  Have you ever felt like this when you’ve failed or faced rejection?

I had to learn over time that I can be a good hammer AND still fall short.  I can be a good hammer AND still encounter rejection.  I can be a good hammer AND not always be the person someone needs.  Just because I failed or was rejected in that instance doesn’t mean I am a lesser hammer.  It just means the circumstances weren’t in my favor in that particular situation.  Over time, I had to realize that my value isn’t necessarily determined by others.  I know who I am and what I am.  I better understand the value I bring.  Sometimes what I offer is needed and sometimes it’s not.  When I’m not needed, it’s just because the right situation hasn’t arrived yet.

Challenge 1: Are you letting other people decide your value or are you defining your value?

Challenge 2: Look at yourself in the mirror and say 3 things you value about yourself.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry