Wifi, Signal Strength, and Meaningful Connections (8-3-22)

Last week was about rethinking impossible. This week the words that inspired me come from a computer alert about Wi-fi and stronger connections. I was working on my computer on my back patio, trying to get caught up on everything, when the below message popped up and struck a chord with me.

I looked at it for a moment and my first instinct was to say, “Thanks Captain Obvious!” My second instinct was to say, “I’m not that far away from the router.” Then, I had a mini epiphany, which just goes to show that sometimes inspiration comes from strange places. As I looked at the message, I started substituting words.

“The strength of your connection between you and the people you care about could be improved by moving closer to them.”
“The strength of your connection between you and yourself could be improved by moving closer to who you are.”

You might be wondering what this has to do with anything. If I’m being entirely honest, work (and life for that matter) has been kicking by butt for the past few months. The expectations are high, and the pressure to meet them (whether external or internal) is even higher. It’s a flurry of early mornings, long nights, fire drills, and last-minute pivots. It’s been sprinting and sprinting and sprinting with little rest. Have you felt like this lately?

With all of this, I’ve felt myself getting lost in the swirl. It is kind of like being on a boat where each wave took me further and further from shore. Suddenly, you look up and realize how far you have drifted away, and that you need to get back. That pop up from IT was the nudge to get back to shore. My mini epiphany made me pause and realize that I had moved AWAY from the people/things that make me whole, and I needed to focus my energy on moving CLOSER to the people/things I care about (myself included). After all, life is all about having meaningful connections with people and things you love. It was just the nudge I needed to step back and refocus after a chaotic few months.

The challenge: Who or what do you need to move closer to?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Self-Care is NOT a Luxury, it’s Required Maintenance (1-27-21)

This is the final entry in our 2021 Reboot series. We started by identifying our 1 word for the year. Then, we reflected on our habits and processes to see if they would get us to where we want to go, and last week was about giving ourselves grace when we falter. This week is about how self-care isn’t a luxury.

Pretend for a moment that you’re driving, and your oil change light comes on. What do you do? I assume that you get the oil changed sometime soon. You might not do it immediately, but you’d get it changed. Would you ever ignore the oil change light? Would you ever keep driving miles and miles and miles, never changing the oil? Do you know what happens if you don’t change the oil in a car? It ruins the engine. Everything locks up, and it’s extremely difficult to recover after that.

What does this have to do with anything? In the above example, no one would say that changing the oil in the car is a luxury. They would say it is an important part of maintenance to keep the car running. I wish we did a better job of applying this thinking to self-care. In many ways, I feel we have romanticized self-care as a luxury, a special treat to ourselves. Over the past few years, I’ve shifted my thinking in this regard and realized that self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s necessary maintenance. Can I ignore self-care for a period of time? Yes, just like I can ignore the oil change light when it first comes on. However, if I go too long without practicing self-care, my engine locks up. I break down, and then it’s so hard to recover from that. As a result, I’m making attempts to make self-care a priority in life. For me, self-care looks like getting enough sleep, going on runs, getting outside at least once a day, working out, making sure I’m eating healthy on more days than not, going on walks, meditating daily, getting plenty of time with my family, and taking me time to read, write, or play video games. I need these things to function at my best and to perform at a high level. This isn’t a luxury, it’s a requirement.

Challenge for everyone: How are you practicing self-care in 2021?

Extra challenge for leaders in formal positions of authority- I admit it’s unfair, but so much of setting the standard on whether self-care is a luxury or a necessity is on YOUR shoulders. Your actions shape the culture that makes it okay to stop working like a robot and start living like a human. Let’s be real for a minute, we survived 2020, but I think it’s safe to assume that most people are still walking around with the check engine light on. What actions are you doing to create space for self-care for your people?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Dealing with Transplant Shock (9-2-20)

Last week was about being intentional about giving “water” to teammates. This week builds off this theme and is about plants and transplant shock. Thanks to a friend for the inspiration. (Side note- My wife came home from the hospital on Monday! She still has a lot of recovering to do, but she’s home. Thanks for the prayers and good vibes.)

A few years ago, my wife moved a rose bush from her parents’ house to our house. The bush lasted for a few months, but eventually it died. I never knew why it died until I learned that often when bushes are moved from one location to another, it doesn’t go very well. The reason is something called transplant shock. “Transplant shock is a term that refers to a number of stresses occurring in recently transplanted trees and shrubs. It involves failure of the plant to root well, consequently the plant becomes poorly established in the landscape. New transplants do not have extensive root systems, and they are frequently stressed by lack of sufficient water. Plants suffering from water stress may be more susceptible to injury from other causes such as the weather, insects, or disease. When several stresses are being experienced, the plant may no longer be able to function properly.” (Transplant Shock of Trees and Shrubs). You can help minimize transplant shock by carefully transporting the roots, watering the plant appropriately, and giving the plant a little extra care and attention.

You might be wondering what this has to do with anything. Two weeks ago, a friend responded to the blog about knowing what you need to grow and said, “This blog post also makes me also think about the stress of a plant being uprooted and replanted. We all got uprooted by COVID, but some of us got replanted more ideally and others less. And even a perfectly healthy thriving plant will still need time to recover.”

I loved the analogy. He’s spot on. COVID changed our entire worlds and we were replanted. Furthermore, we continue to be replanted over and over again as we collide with new normal due to COVID and other circumstances. Maybe we are replanted when more of our routines are disrupted. Maybe we are replanted as our kids start school in an entirely different environment. Maybe we are replanted as we face personal difficulties. In all of these situations, these adjustments are difficult to take, and if we don’t get what we need to recover then we risk being down and out for a long time. Similar to plants, if we want to minimize transplant shock, we need to be careful with ourselves, extend everyone a little extra grace, and show everyone a little extra care and attention.

The challenge: How you are reducing transplant shock for yourself? How are you reducing transplant shock for others?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Backpacks and the Weight We Carry (7-6-20)

I hope you enjoyed some well-earned time off last week. Before we start back up and get lost again in the daily grind, I wanted to share a thought I had over break about hiking, backpacks, and carrying weight on our shoulders. Last week my family went on a few hikes, and we took a backpack with us filled with the things we thought we needed. One day we realized the backpack had all the stuff we needed to carry plus other unnecessary junk like trash, toys, old changes of clothes, etc. We removed those things from the backpack, because they were adding weight we didn’t need to carry. Instead, we made sure we were only carrying the things we needed.

What does this have to do with anything? During the summer shutdown I realized I was carrying around an invisible backpack filled with extra weight that didn’t serve me, extra weight that I didn’t need to carry. That extra weight was from COVID, recent events, unnecessary pressure I was putting on myself at work, the anxiety of navigating a new normal in all the roles I play in life (husband, dad, friend, co-worker), and the ridiculous expectation that I should be able to play all those roles while performing at a level like the external events weren’t happening. I had been carrying around this extra weight, and I had not been carrying it well either. I know over the past two months I haven’t been the best version of myself. I have been tired, short on patience and understanding, low on motivation, and I could feel this negatively impact the different roles in my life. In many ways, I hadn’t been taking the best care of myself.

My wife and I were about four days into summer shutdown when we realized we both felt lighter, as if someone had taken a huge weight off our shoulders. We talked about this and realized that as we unplugged, we had also decided to let go of things. We had removed some of the weight we were carrying around in our invisible backpacks, and that made all the difference. Summer shutdown came at a perfect time for me. It gave me an opportunity to drop some of that weight and reset. It gave me time to reflect on the weight I’ve been carrying, and realize that while I will need to pick some of this weight up I do NOT need to pick up all of it. I can choose to leave behind unrealistic expectations that created stress and anxiety. I can try to do a better job of understanding what is in my control and what is outside of my control. I can choose to take better care of myself. As work resumes, there are some things I’ll pick up and put into my backpack, and other things I hope to leave on the side of the road.

The challenge: As we start to ramp up again, what weight will you pick up and what will you leave behind?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Going through Closets and Letting Things Go (10-2-19)

We started this series focused on socks and nudges. From there we explored how our choices can communicate things, and we spent time reflecting on power outfits and triggers. We also looked at embracing other styles. This final entry in the clothing series is about going through the stuff in your closet to see what is worth keeping.

Everyone has their own unique method of going through the stuff in their closet. Maybe you use the KonMari method, which is about asking if something sparks joy in your life. If it does, you keep it, and if it doesn’t you get rid of it. Here is what I do. I have a system where after I wear a shirt, I move it to the other side of the closet. This lets me know what shirts I’ve worn in the past month. As I get down to the final shirts I haven’t worn, I take a look through them and ask myself a few questions. Why haven’t I worn this yet? Do I still like it? Does it fit right? Did I just not have the occasion to wear it? Is it ripped/broken? After I ask those questions I either keep the shirt, donate it, or trash it.

Where is this going? Going through your closet is about taking the time to pause and reflect to determine if the clothing still serves the purpose it was originally meant to serve. If it does, you keep it. If it doesn’t, you either get rid of it or figure out how to make it work. I believe that we could all do a better job of going through our actual closets as well as our metaphorical closets. For example, metaphorical closets could be the people we surround ourselves with, the goals we have, and the behaviors we exhibit. How often do you take the time to reflect on those things to determine if you should keep them or not?

The other day I had a conversation with one of my neighbors. He was talking about this job he wanted and was excited about. Then, as he did some self-reflection, he realized that this job he initially was excited about didn’t really fit him. This job would give him a title and lead him down a prestigious path, but that path isn’t where he wanted to be. Since then, he’s spent time trying to figure out how to change his path to make it the one he wants to walk down. I have a lot of admiration for him, because he is one of the brave souls who paused and realized something didn’t quite fit before going too far.

Two Sundays ago was my birthday, and on the eve of my birthday I found myself reflecting. On the people side, I feel over the years I’ve done a better job of keeping myself surrounded by the people who matter and letting go the people who just take from me. On the life side, I feel I have a lot of things figured out, but I still have some habits, some fears, some doubts that don’t fit who I am and who I want to be, so I need to find a way to get rid of those and replace them with something new. On the work side, I looked through 9 months of reflections, and there were things that made me smile and mistakes that made me face palm (and then chuckle that I could have done something that is now so obviously dumb). Hopefully, I can change some of those face palm things for the future.

The challenge: Are you going through the various closets in your life to determine what you need to keep and what you need to let go?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Bodies, Preparation, and Performance (7-5-17)

Last week we looked at homeostasis, running, and gutting it out until you find your rhythm. This week let’s think about our bodies, maintaining them, performance, and how that relates to teams. Our bodies are amazing machines. Our bodies are designed to perform at a high level on physical, mental, and emotional fronts. Additionally, they are in a constant process of breaking down and replenishing themselves. What I often fail to see or think about is how my actions can help or hinder this process and my body’s performance.

Let me share an example. Near the end of January I started training for a the Indy Mini half-marathon in May. During this training period, overall, I made relatively healthy food choices, worked out on a regular basis, got enough sleep, etc. I didn’t notice it while I was training, but my body was becoming better. I was taking good care of myself and in turn I lost weight and inches, and gained some speed and strength. When it came time to perform on the day of the race, I ran the half-marathon 2 minutes faster than I had the previous year, which is a big deal for a baby hippo. After that race, things fell apart a little bit. Work got hectic. I went on vacation. I came back from vacation and my aunt passed away after battling lung cancer for a couple of years. I started stress eating, wasn’t sleeping that much, and didn’t take the time to exercise. In short, I stopped taking good care of myself. I didn’t notice it in the moment, but my body was becoming worse. I wasn’t taking good care of myself, and I gained some weight, felt sluggish, felt just out of it, anxious, etc. I wasn’t performing well on a physical, mental, or emotional level. I’m now trying to get back into the swing of things.

My learning from this experience. Bodies are designed to perform, and their performance hinges on all the day to day prep work you do or don’t do to maintain and improve. I didn’t realize the impact of me taking or not taking care of myself during the day to day grind that is life. I didn’t notice the difference until it became time to perform in some way. I also continue to realize that there is never “extra” time to exercise and that healthy choices aren’t always the easiest ones to make. If I don’t make the intentional effort to do the right things, they will never get done.

You’re probably wondering what this has to do with work and teams. I feel teams are like bodies. In order to perform at their peak levels they require the right fuel and exercise in order to maintain them and make them stronger. The problem is that everyone is always so busy and there is never extra time to make sure you are taking care of the team. There’s never an abundance of time slotted for you to stop and check in to make sure people are aligned. There’s never extra time for you to get a good pulse on the team to see if there is plenty of trust, good energy, clear roles, and that people have what they need to shine. It’s easy to get lost in the day to day grind, because in the midst of the chaos you may not even notice a difference when it comes to the team’s health. However, sooner or later your team will need to perform some kind of task, and at that point you’ll see whether you’ve done the right things to get the team ready to perform at that moment or not. How well the team performs then will be a result of all of the prep and maintenance work they have put in leading up to this point.

The challenge: Are you making it a priority to take care of yourself and the folks around you? What are you doing to help you and your team perform at their best?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry