Tag: reflection

Lifting and Different Kinds of Success (5-3-23)

Our last entry was about using proper form to help us be stronger and more efficient.  This week is about lifting and different kinds of success.

A few of months ago, I wasn’t making any progress in my physical health and lifting journey.  I wasn’t gaining strength.  My body composition was staying the same.  I didn’t feel any better.  I was doing my best at the time, but not getting anywhere.  I felt like an unsuccessful failure.  Then, I took a step back and realized that life was throwing a lot at me right both personally and professionally.  In the midst of all of that crazy, making the progress I wanted to make would have been impossible.  I came to appreciate that while I may not have been moving forward at that exact moment, the fact that I wasn’t losing ground was a win.  Despite all life was doing, it wasn’t pushing me back.  It may not have been my ideal goal, but maintaining was success in those circumstances.

What does this have to do with anything?  Often, we picture success as crossing the finish line in first place, and anything short of that is failure.  After all, as the guru Ricky Bobby once said, “If you ain’t first, you’re last!”  As a result of this thinking, we often feel like if we aren’t achieving our ideal of success then we are not worthy.  That’s how I felt during that month.  Have you ever felt that way?  In these moments, it’s important to step back and realize that victory can take many forms.  Success isn’t always about winning the race.  Sometimes, success is just finishing the race.  Sometimes, success is finding a way to keep moving forward.  Sometimes, success is not getting knocked back.  Sometimes, success is finding a way to get back up after being knocked flat on your butt.  Depending on what you’re doing, and the hand life is dealing you at the moment, success can look very different.  We need to accept that AND accept that we are always more than enough.

The challenge: Are you giving yourself the grace to understand what success looks like in the moment?

Bonus: I woke up this morning and I’m sore and exhausted, so my lifting success today is going to be taking a rest day 😉

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Performing a Personal Quarterly Check-in (3-22-23)

This is a one-off entry about taking the time to do a quarterly review in business in life.  This is inspired by a blog I wrote last year around this time.

I don’t know about you, but I feel my meetings this week have all went like this, “Let’s talk about how X went in Q1.  Here is the performance.  Let’s take a moment to celebrate some of our wins.  Now, what gaps do we still see?  We need to start addressing those gaps now, while we still have time.  What plan can we put in place and what actions do we need to take to gain/keep momentum?”  It didn’t matter if the topic was brand performance, tactic creation, finances, or executing on the plan for the rest of the year.  For whatever reason, now seems like a perfect time to take a moment to pause, evaluate, and figure out what we need to do next.

What does this have to do anything?  While this is great for work, we could apply this same thinking to our personal lives as well.  What are some of your goals for 2023?  How did you do with them in Q1?  Have you stopped to CELEBRATE your progress?   SERIOUSLY, I hope you are celebrating something.  If you are reading this, I know you’re doing something cool.  Whether you are doing something small or large, you’re definitely doing something worth celebrating.  After you get done celebrating, what gaps do you see?  How can you address them NOW, so you can see the payoff later this year?

The challenge: Will you take the time to do a quarterly check-in?  What changes will you make to set yourself up for the rest of the year?

Bonus: Here is my review based on the dimensions in my life I set goals for.  Hopefully, it sparks a thought or two for you.

  • Protecting my Peace (B)- This is my overall goal for the year.  This is about ensuring I’m making the time to take care of me and putting the right boundaries in place.  Things did get busy at times in Q1.  However, I’m proud of myself for prioritizing sleep, saying no to certain things at work, and taking steps to release the stress of day-to-day life.  I just need to focus on taking care of myself.
  • Career (A)- The goal is to feel like I’m delivering magic.  I feel proud of my start in Q1, and I feel valued right now.  I delivered on some great projects and partnered with some amazing folks to deliver an awesome National meeting, strategy, and IVA.  For me, it’s all about keeping up this momentum.  I can do this by being crystal clear on my priorities and carving out some time to whiteboard and think through a few things before shifting hard into execution mode.
  • Physical Health (B-)- The goal is to make sure I’m taking good care of myself, so I can do the things I want to be able to do.  I did good on the sleeping, and I’m proud of myself for completing my race in January.  I have two gaps.  One is better fueling my body in a healthy way on a more consistent basis.  I probably stress ate more than I should.  Good news is that I’ve kicked my Diet Pepsi habit, and now am starting to find a groove.  The other gap is I need more upper body strength, so I can complete more obstacles.  I need to do more pull-ups and work in grip training.  I have a plan for that, just need to execute.
  • Financial (C)- The goal is to hit our financial savings goals.  We haven’t fully established what those are, so will need to do that before I can take action.
  • Family (B)- The goal is to feel like an amazing husband and dad.  Parenting has just been hard for a wide variety of reasons with a slew of challenges my wife and I are still trying to figure out how to navigate.  If you’re a parent, you’ve probably been here.  Also, over the past month, I’ve put in a lot more hours at work (especially on the weekends), which has upset a little bit of the work/life integration.  I’m hoping to better balance that out, so I can focus more on connecting with my family.
  • Fun/Social (A)- The goal here is to plan out vacation days.  Everything is booked for the year, and I’m looking forward to family trips, a fishing trip, and some “race”cations.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Open Letter to 2022 (12-7-22)

As the year comes to a close, I find myself reflecting (by my Christmas tree 😊).  Here is my open letter to 2022 and the lessons it gave me.

Dear 2022,

How’s it going?  If 2021 was a year heading in the right direction, you were a constant barrage of curveballs and challenges. 

  • My theme this year was “Channel the Chaos.”  I don’t know if I could have picked a more accurate theme.  Maybe I’m a prophet. #Embrydamus
  • I felt like a lion tamer for most of the year.  Instead of lions, I did my best to tame internal processes, random fires, and a slew of challenges.  Anyone else feel this way?  I was bitten and clawed along the way, but still here.  Persevering matters, even when it’s ugly.
  • Speaking of persevering, 2022 continued to teach me grit.  I feel like I spent 49.9% of the year getting knocked down, and 50.1% of the year standing back up, shaking off the hit, and leaning in again.  This seemed consistent whether it was at work or at home.  I don’t think those are the ideal percentages, but as long as I get up one more time than I was knocked down, it’s a win.  Next year I’m hoping to be more at 30/70 or something 😉
  • My goal every year is to do magic, to do something so incredible that the only explanation for it is sorcery.  In my best moments this year (as a husband, dad, friend, employee), I think I had magic and then some.  In my best moments I felt like I was a wizard, seeing all the elements come together.  Even though those moments were fleeting, they were beautiful. 
  • Every year I gain a deeper appreciation for health.  This year I gained a deeper appreciation for how intertwined mental, emotional, and physical health are.  I cherish these things on a new level and will fight harder to keep them. 
  • I was reminded of how amazing my family is.  I don’t know of too many people stronger than my wife and kids.  How blessed am I to have them?  In so many ways my wife is the model of the parent I want to be, and my kids have so much more resilience than I ever would have possessed at their age.  #blessed
  • Growth is a tricky thing.  You don’t always see it or feel it as it’s happening.  I learned to not confuse the lack of feeling growth with the lack of growth.  If I’m being super honest, I didn’t even see or think about my growth at work this year until yesterday during my end of the year conversation when my boss started pointing stuff out to me.  I was too blinded by surviving the grind to see it.
  • At the beginning of the year, I had a goal to do 4 obstacle course races.  I did 5, including my Spartan Trifecta.  May not be a big deal to some folks, but it was a stretch goal for me.  It reminded me of how strong I can be physically, mentally, and emotionally.  We always have more strength than we think we do.
  • Not meeting your original goals is not the same thing as failing.  Sometimes circumstances change, and the definition of success in new circumstances might be different than what it was in the prior circumstances.  You can only play the cards you are dealt.  Sometimes playing a good hand with bad cards is more impressive than playing a great hand with good cards, even though it won’t always be recognized as such. 
  • I was stretched so thin this year that I always felt I was falling short and failing people, and this hurt my soul a bit.  At the same time, just because I felt I was failing everyone didn’t mean everyone felt I was failing them.  I learned to be careful of the stories you tell yourself, because even if there is truth in them it doesn’t always mean they are true. 
  • People are beautiful.  Also, people can have ugly actions.  I try to tell myself that when people act in an ugly way, it’s because they are hurt and afraid.  It helps sometimes, but not always.
  • Good people are all you really need to get through tough things.  As long as you have a few good people in your life you are set.
  • Life is measured in moments.  I can’t tell you what I did most days of the year, but there are some moments that stick out as clear as day.
  • I’m looking forward to taking time to recharge, adding some fuel to my internal fire, and getting my shine on in 2023.

Those are things going through my head.  Yours might be similar or different.  Whatever you’re feeling is okay.  Your feelings are your truth.

The challenge:  If you haven’t taken the time, take a few moments to reflect on 2022 and the lessons and emotions it gave to you this year.  How will these shape you moving forward?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Why are our Challenges Challenging? (11-30-22)

I hope you had a fabulous Thanksgiving.  We are winding down for the year, so the next few entries will be things to think about as you wrap up.  This week is about reflecting on why our challenges were challenging this year.

As you might know, obstacle course racing is my new hobby.  Let me be clear.  I’m not good at these races.  I fail a lot of obstacles and I’m slow.  With that said, usually I can get up and over the 6-foot wall obstacle with little difficulty.  I have the strength and skill to do that one (other obstacles, not so much 😉)  Recently, I completed a race in Arizona.  When I got to the 6-foot wall I struggled a few times before I got over it.  I started thinking about why I had an issue with something that I can normally do on the first try.  I realized a few things.  Usually, the 6-foot wall is one of the first obstacles and happens early in the race around mile 1.  Also, I was used to races in the Midwest where I was running on dirt and grass.  This particular 6-foot wall came around mile 3, after I had completed other obstacles and spent a fair amount of time running on loose sand.  Clearing the 6-foot wall on its own is challenging, but doable.  Clearing the 6-foot wall after getting through a series of challenges BEFORE I ever got there, made it more difficult because my legs and body were more tired than usual.

What does this have to do with anything?  As we finish the year, we likely will have some kind of end of year discussion.  During this time, you’ll likely be asked to talk about your successes as well as the areas where you struggled and could improve.  When you think about those areas where you could have improved, spend time thinking about why it was difficult.  Was it difficult because you didn’t have the knowledge or skillset to do it?  Or was it something you normally could have done, but it became a challenge since it came after so many other obstacles that popped up in your path?  As I reflect, there were some things I didn’t do as well as I had hoped, because they were new to me.  There were other situations where I had the skills and talent to handle them well, but since they came at the end of a slew of barriers, I didn’t handle them as well as I could have.  As you can see, these are two different root causes for why you could struggle with something, and each root cause has its own set of solutions.  I know I’m continuing to reflect on what I can do to improve in each instance.

The challenge: Why did you find certain things challenging this year?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Quarterly Reviews in Business and Life (3-30-22)

This is a one-off entry about quarterly reviews in business and life.

It’s hard to believe that the end of Q1 is tomorrow.  The first quarter is always integral to the success of the year for a few reasons.  First, the momentum generated in Q1 is often what carries the business to its goals for the rest of the year.  Second, if things aren’t quite going as well as the company hoped they would there is still time to make changes.  With this in mind, the moment Q1 officially ends, businesses across the country will begin analyzing their books to see how they are doing.  They will calculate sales and growth.  They’ll look at selling, general, and administrative expenses.  They’ll look at their investments and evaluate ROI.  As they perform these calculations, they’ll ask 2 simple questions.  How are we tracking toward our goals?  Are we investing our resources wisely?  From there, they will adjust things as needed.

What does this have to do with anything?  What if we applied the quarterly review process to our own lives?  What if we spent just a few minutes asking ourselves the two questions outlined earlier (How are we tracking toward our goals?  Are we investing our resources wisely?)  If you paused a moment to do this, what would you find out about yourself?  How might you adjust things?

The challenge: Will you take the time to do a quick quarterly review?  What adjustments will you make after doing one?

Bonus: Here is my mini-quarter review based on the dimensions in my life I set goals for.  Sharing in hopes that it might spark your reflections.

  • Career- (B+)  The goal is to feel mastery and magic in my role.  I’m tracking toward that, but not there yet.  Q1 was a hard grind, but I’m feeling good about things and have momentum taking me into Q2.  I’ve learned a heck of a lot and contributed in meaningful ways.  As I look at Q2 I know my personal career success will hinge on my ability to prioritize and on my ability to take care of myself (Physical Health) so I can perform.  On the prioritization front, I’m blocking 2-5 every Friday to make sure I pause, plan, and prioritize.  Each week I’ll focus on 3 things I HAVE to get done. 
  • Physical Health- (C+)  The goal is to get stronger and feel energetic.  I’m a bit of a mixed bag with this goal.  I’m on track with my goal of completing an obstacle course race every quarter with one done in January and one coming up in May.  That’s a huge positive.  However, while I’m doing good on the physical activity front, I had about a month during the meeting cycle timeframe where my nutrition and sleep were non-existent and I didn’t do the things I needed to do to process stress.  I have to do a better job on those fronts.  For me this all comes down to finding and sticking to a routine.
  • Financial- (B)  The goal is to hit our savings/investment targets.  Things are going well here.  I’ve found that if the money isn’t in my account I can’t spend it.  Every year we do a lump sum save, so we can hit that goal.  The majority of the money we plan to save for the year has already been moved into the right accounts/investments and my financial advisor is telling me I’m in good shape.  With that said, we can do better by not spending money on all the small things that quickly add up.  
  • Family- (A) The goal is to feel like I’m being an amazing husband and dad.  I feel I’m doing great in this area.  I’ve been really focused on being present and patient in all things.  I feel I’ve made some great improvements here.  As a bonus, my wife and I have date nights set up for the rest of the year, which is awesome!  Side note, you know you’re married with younger kids when your date nights often turn into going to a bookstore, picking up Yats, going on walks, and just low key chilling with no responsibilities.
  • Fun/Social- (A) The goal here is to plan and take all my vacation days.  All of my vacations are booked for the year!  Almost everything is planned.  I just have to go on them now! 

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Open Letter to 2021 (12-8-21)

Happy Wednesday! 

As the year comes to a close, I find myself reflecting.  Here is my open letter to 2021 about the emotions and lessons it gave me.

Dear 2021,

How’s it going?  After the year that was 2020, you’ll probably most be remembered as the year that didn’t totally suck.  I mean after 2020 the bar was pretty low, and you managed to get over it.  High five!  While I’m chilling by my Christmas tree here are my thoughts and feelings.

  • My family didn’t have the health problems we had last year, but things still aren’t entirely smooth yet.  This is just another reminder of how easy it is to take good health for granted.  I feel this will always be the top lesson that’s reinforced throughout the year.
  • Thanks for finding ways to nudge me to not worry so much.  It’s easy to get wrapped up and become consumed about how the pandemic, life stress, and other things are having a negative impact on my girls.  Then, I see them laughing, coming up with ideas I never could, and showing such incredible kindness to others that it makes me realize it is never as bad as I fear it is.  Plus, they still think I’m funny and they’ll still snuggle with me from time to time.
  • You brought some exciting new challenges to tackle.  Preparing for them and overcoming them gave me so much energy.  You also brough some soul sucking challenges to tackle.  I didn’t love them, but I made it through and am stronger. Thank you.
  • If you look at my phone, I’ve stopped to take more pictures of flowers, trees, sunrises, and sunsets than I ever have.  It makes me happy.
  • I feel like the entire world is kind of like a bunch of teenagers right now.  We are going through so much and all struggling with who we are and we hope to become.  I only pray that we are kind to each other as we go through these growing pains.
  • I’ve always been a big proponent that BBQ sauce can cover a lot of cooking mistakes.  BBQ sauce doesn’t help with failure or disappointment though.  You just have to work through that, and working through never happens as fast as you’d like.
  • I have a lot more stress related behaviors than I realized.  Being aware of this has been huge.  I hope to continue to improve my coping mechanisms in the next year.
  • There is something glorious about running in the cold darkness.  It’s one of the few times when I can hear the universe/energy/God.  Thanks for that peace.
  • I believe people change.  I believe it usually happens so slowly it’s hard to notice.  I feel myself changing though.  Not sure who or what I’m changing into.  Not sure if it’s good or bad.  It just is.  I often wonder if I’m losing something I had or if I’m gaining something new.  This probably doesn’t make any sense, but it’s one of the more human things I’ve felt this year.
  • The thing I’m most proud of is that I feel like I’m finding my flow/vibe again.  It’s different, but it’s mine.
  • I am loved by myself and others.  That is more than enough.
  • 2021, you were definitely a wild ride and 2022 is already shaping up to be an adventure.

Those are things going through my head.  Yours might be similar or different.  Whatever you’re feeling is okay.  Your feelings are your truth.

The challenge:  If you haven’t taken the time, take a few moments to reflect on 2021 and the lessons and emotions it gave to you this year.  How will these shape you moving forward?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Sharpening Your Tools to Improve Your Craft (8-11-21)

Happy Wednesday,

This is the last in the series about mastering your craft.  This week is about sharpening your tools and your skills.

One of the most important tools a chef can have is a great set of knives.  The sharp blades lead to better slicing and dicing, and the sharper the blade the more precise a chef can cut with them.  This precision leads to making a better meal.  Over time, knives will eventually become dull as they are used over and over and over again.  When this happens, a chef will take the time to sharpen them.  Doing so restores the blade and its edge, helping the tool become a better asset to the chef using it. 

What does this have to do with anything?  In our crafts we don’t necessarily use knives, but we do leverage various skills, frameworks, and tools.  How do you go about sharpening them?  I primarily rely on feedback and reflection.  First, I rely on feedback about my performance on a given task that helps me understand where I wasn’t as crisp as I wanted to be.  This helps identify those areas I need to go back and work on.  Second, I spend a lot of time reflecting.  I reflect on books I’m reading, podcasts I’ve listened to, major projects I’m working on, and the small day to day stuff that sticks out to me.  I reflect to initially capture lessons, and then I go back and revisit those lessons to continue to glean new insights.  I especially do this whenever I’m doing a task I’ve done before.  For example, when I do customer planning I’ll go back and look at my previous reflections on customer planning over the year to identify learnings to carry forward and watchouts to avoid.  Doing this keeps me sharp, and helps me slice through things like a hot knife through butter (oh snap!)

The challenge: How will you sharpen your skills, frameworks, and tools?

I stand in solidarity against injustice and in support of humanity.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

An Open Letter to 2020

Dear 2020 | bedroomsoliloquies - YouTubeHappy Wednesday,

The year is coming to a close and I find myself in a reflective mood.  Below is my open letter to 2020.

Dear 2020,

I have so many feelings right now as you come to a close.  Scratch that.  I have so many conflicting feelings that I’m still sorting out.  I wonder who you have shaped me to become.

  • I have never cherished health and loved ones as much as I do now.  Thank you for that.
  • I feel blessed I had another year with my family.  My daughters are growing up, and I’m so happy to see their imaginations are still wild and free.  My wife is closer to normal.  These women are my sunshine, and you solidified that for me this year.
  • I feel blessed, because in the grand scheme of things, I’ve been fortunate enough to not have my entire life destroyed by a pandemic.
  • I feel guilty that somehow I have a life that was inconvenienced by COVID while others live a life that became broken.  I’m not more special than the people whose lives were destroyed.
  • I feel angry.  You brought health problems to my wife and those are months I lost and won’t ever get back.  I’m still not over that or the worry she might never fully get to 100% 
  • I can’t decide if I’m proud or disappointed about work this year.  There is pride in great work and there is pride in sometimes just managing to keep moving forward through the challenges even when the result isn’t perfect.  At the same time, I sometimes feel like a failure because I didn’t hit the goals I set for myself.
  • I feel exhausted.  At the end of 2019 I said, “There is no way that 2020 could be crazier.” #wrong.  There were more obstacles than I could count  I’m tired of it, all of it, and pray I can gain energy back. 
  • I don’t know if I’m better at forgiving myself and giving myself grace, but you gave me more practice than I’ve ever had.  One day that will turn into something.
  • I feel stronger, because you didn’t break me.  The pandemic didn’t break me.  My wife in the hospital, while I tried to balance taking care of her, loving my girls, and doing work didn’t break me.  The constant obstacles at work didn’t break me.  The exhaustion didn’t break me.  Feeling disconnected from others didn’t break me.  I am bruised, not broken.  I was weak and continually fell short.  I embraced the fact that I’m human, and am coming out of this loving others harder than I have before.
  • Even though I feel stronger, I’m still not at peace.  The strength came at a great cost, and one that I didn’t pay as much as others.  I still don’t know how to feel about all of this.
  • I feel loved by so many people, and I can’t be thankful enough for that.
  • You were so many things that I can’t really figure out what you were and how to feel about you yet.  I only hope I take whatever I learned from you into a 2021 filled with new possibilities.

Those are some of the thoughts that continue to swim around in my head.  Some of yours might be similar and some of them might be radically different.  Whatever you are feeling is okay.

The challenge:  If you haven’t taken the time, take a few moments to reflect on 2020 and the lessons and emotions it gave to you this year.  How will these shape you moving forward?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Zooming in on Flowers and Our Lives (8-12-20)

This week I want to kick off a series inspired by plants.  We’ll start by reflecting on zooming in on flowers and our lives.

It started as a joke.  One day I came home from a run and noticed the flowers my wife had planted.  I got close to them, pulled out my iphone, zoomed in as close as I could, and did my best to take an overly artistic photo.  I thought it would be funny, because I don’t have photography skills.  Then, I looked at the picture.  It’s not that I had great skills, but there was something about zooming in and seeing a flower for the first time like that.  It made me pause and appreciate how beautiful it was.  Since then, from time to time I like to take zoomed in pictures of flowers to see what I can capture.  Check out the picture above and tell me that isn’t amazing.

You might be wondering where this is going.  My wife has planted flowers for years, and I never fully appreciated them until I stopped one day to admire their beauty.  Since then, I’ve seen flowers in an entirely different light.  In a similar way, all too often we are in too much of a rush to realize the beauty in our life that surrounds us.  However, if we are lucky enough to pause from time to time and examine our lives, we often can find something hidden away.  We can find something small, beautiful, and powerful if we are willing to zoom in and look a little closer.  Once you see that one piece of beauty in your life, you’ll continue to find more and more beauty around you.

The challenge: Are you taking the time to slow down and zoom in on the life you are living?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

An Open Letter to 2019 (12-11-19)

The year is coming to a close and I often find myself in a reflective mood.  I spend the hours hanging out on my couch, basking in the glow of my Christmas tree, thinking about everything that’s happened this past year.  With this in mind, this entry will be a little different.  It’s an open letter to 2019.

Dear 2019,

I don’t exactly know where to start with you.  If I described you in a word I could use humbling, complicated, roller-coaster, intriguing, or challenging.  The more I think about it the more I realize the word that best sums you up “needed”.  You were all the lessons I needed, but didn’t know I wanted.

  • You gave my wife a new job, and proved to me that some people are put on this earth for specific reasons.  It’s beautiful to see the stars align in this way and to see her this way.
  • You gave me another year with two daughters filled with belly hurting laughs, gentle smiles, the softest of strong hugs, movie watching snuggles, skinned knees, new journeys as a parent, and reminded me that my world is my family.
  • You constantly showed me that sickness is real, and that having my health and the health of my family is precious.
  • You reminded me that despite my efforts and my previous successes in life, I am still in fact human.  I am weak, flawed, breakable, mistake prone, and there is deep power in embracing this.
  • You knocked me down and at times made life an ugly run in a 95 degree hail storm.  You also reminded me that I’ll find a way to get back up and if I believe hard enough my legs will keep going.
  • And I know that a 95 degree hail storm doesn’t make sense, but 2019 you didn’t always make sense either, which taught me sometimes patience is the only thing that will help you see what you’ve been given.
  • You blessed with me a great team and tough challenges, just so we could see the amazing hearts we have inside of each other.
  • You were humbling, complicated, a roller-coaster, challenging, joyous, chaotic, growth-inducing, filled with love and every other emotion, and you gave me all the things I needed and never asked for.  Thank you.

Kind of corny, but 100% true.  The challenge:  If you haven’t taken the time, take a few moments to reflect on 2019 and the lessons it taught you that you never asked for.  If you look deep enough, you might find a little magic.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry