I don’t meant to brag, but I’m at least a 9.5 on a scale from 1 to 10 when it comes to attractiveness, because of my beard, beautiful hair, and a physique so chiseled people call me David (sculpture reference, what?)  Luckily, I don’t really think of myself that way.  As we’ve been talking about reflecting, it’s also important to take the time to share the way you see yourself with others to make sure that other people see a lion and not a kitten like the photo on the right.

Recently I set up time and talked to someone about how I’m perceived.  We talked about strengths (my beard, which is the only thing we could come up with) and my improvement areas (knowing when to flex my style and pull back a little bit, coming across as brash/obnoxious/silly, etc.)  After I shared I shut my mouth, listened, and only asked questions to better understand her perspective. I learned some important nuggets that day from her.

When it came to my strengths, she agreed with what I shared, but she also talked to me about other things I do well that I just took for granted.  She helped me see how these are unique things I can leverage in the future.  Without her help, I wouldn’t have realized that other people were seeing these things in me and how important those things I are for my current and future success.

When it came to areas of improvement, she told me that she found me annoying when we first worked together because we clashed, there was bad communication, and we were put in a difficult situation.  I almost hugged her.  Yes, you read that right.  I wanted to hug her, because she cared enough about me to be that honest.  By the way, I agree and totally saw how I came across that way.  Anyway, she also told me about something I do that I wasn’t aware of.  Sometimes when I’m working with folks and I have an idea or a question that’s a little different I’ll preface things with, “Weird comment/question for you…”  The people who know me laugh, and chime in with something like, “Big surprise.”  However, she explained that the people who don’t know me could take this as me apologizing for being different.  It gives them an opportunity to hold the uniqueness against me.  Instead of making the joke, I could just go in with, “I’m looking at this from a different perspective.  Here’s my thought…”  I walked away from that conversation after learning a few more things about myself and reaffirming that there is another person who cares enough about me to be really honest.  You can imagine how much more I think of her now.

Anyway, since I’ve shared a bit of my reflection consider this an open invitation.  If you ever have feedback for me you think I should know, send it my way.  On the flip side, if you ever want to share your reflection with someone and gather feedback, I’ll be happy to do that too.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry