Bringing your Authentic Selves to Work (11-13-19)

This week we will start a series about bringing your authentic self to work. We’ll start by looking back at Halloween and bringing different versions of yourself to work.

The cool part about dressing up for Halloween is that you have the chance to share different sides of yourself. Every Halloween my family dresses up in a theme. This year we were all Harry Potter characters. I was Voldemort (with the worst mask ever), which gave me a chance to bring out my bald evil side aka just another day for me. In previous years I’ve been Green Lantern, Super Mario, and the Mad Hatter. Each instance gave me a chance to be someone slightly different. All of the outfits were still me, just different versions of me.

What does this have to do with anything? For the longest time people talked about bringing your “full self” to work. Over the past year or so, the conversation has changed slightly and people have talked about being able to safely and comfortably bring the different versions of yourself to work. This is an interesting concept, because we are all comprised of so many different versions/angles that come together to make us who we are. I believe this is important, because the different versions of ourselves have something unique to offer. You want Creative Andrew to show up to help you analyze things and connect dots in different ways. You want Storyteller Andrew to show up to help with communication. You want Performer Andrew to raise the energy in the room. You want Driver Andrew to show up when you need to get crap moving. You want Friend Andrew when you need someone to vent to.

All of the Andrews mentioned so far are positive Andrews. The thing is you want the not so positive Andrews to show up too. For example, you want Self-Doubt Andrew to show up and feel like he can talk to people at work. Self-Doubt Andrew is just as skilled with words as Storytelling Andrew, and has a knack for weaving a powerful narrative that sends Andrew into a downward spiral of self-doubt and feeling like garbage. Do you have a Self-Doubt version of yourself that does those things? If Self-Doubt Andrew can come to work, he can usually be dealt with by other people in a quick and effective manner. All it takes is a little empathy, a little “Andrew you’re overthinking this and stop worrying about this,” and a little let’s figure out how to solve the problem. If that stuff occurs, Self-Doubt Andrew is managed and doesn’t do any more damage. If Self-Doubt Andrew can’t show up at work, he’s still there, but he is never seen by other people. Instead of talking to other people and finding resolution, Self-Doubt Andrew will keep harassing all of the other Andrews, and sooner or later Andrew starts performing worse than he should and ends up losing his joy. While it’s important to be able to bring the different positive versions of yourself to work, I’d say it’s just as important to be able to bring the more fragile and vulnerable versions of yourself to work, so they can be talked to appropriately.

Something to consider: What versions of yourself do you bring to work?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Vampires and Willpower (10-24-18)

Last week was about being haunted by ghosts. This week is about vampires and will power. Let’s imagine for a moment that we lived in a world where vampires were real. Now, when I say vampires, I mean true vampires, not that sparkling when they step out into the sun Twilight garbage. I’m talking about nocturnal creatures who lure unsuspecting victims into situations and then suck the life (blood) out of their victims.

What do you think would happen if we lived in a world with actual vampires? I think two things would happen. First, we would begin setting up things to prevent run ins with vampires. For example, we might cover houses with crosses and holy water, refuse to invite people into the house, only go out during the daytime, etc. Second, we’d train so would be prepared if we did run into a vampire. We would become proficient in weapons ranging from swords made from silver, mace made from garlic, UV lamps, and the classic stakes through the heart. Essentially, we would become like Buffy or Blade. In case you’re curious, Blade is essentially a half-human half-vampire superhero who hunts vampires, and it happened to be one of the movies my wife and I watched on our first date. (Explains a lot about our relationship). The only reason why we don’t prepare for vampire battles is because vampires aren’t real.

You might be wondering where this is heading. What if I told you vampires are real? In this instance, I’m not talking about blood sucking lords of the dead. I’m talking about things that deplete your will power and motivation. These vampires are all around us. They take the form of people, crowded schedules, lost time, lack of priorities, and a fast moving world. If we knew that blood sucking vampires were real, we would take actions to prevent and defend against their attacks. It’s safe to say that vampires that deplete your will power and motivation are real, so are you taking the time to figure out how to prevent and defend against their attacks?

Embry example. I don’t necessarily have the healthiest of eating habits. Vampires easily drain my willpower to make healthy choices. Over time, I’ve learned that I need to fight those vampires. I’ve found that one of the best things I can do is sign up to run races. I don’t particularly love running. I’m not good at running. I don’t have a runner’s physique. However, scheduling a race is a commitment and the training plan is a commitment, and for some reason I’m better honoring an external commitment than honoring an internal promise to eat better. On the days that I train I eat better, not because I’m trying to make healthy choices, but because if I eat like crap I can’t train and if I don’t train I will feel like a failure. I’d rather avoid feeling like a loser than gain the feeling of being healthy. Basically, signing up for races for me is like wearing a necklace made of garlic while telling vampires to come get some.

You can apply these same things at work as well. Once you identify what sucks your willpower you can find ways to deal with these things ahead of time and in the moment. You can control your schedule, when you do the work, who you spend time with, the systems and frameworks you will use to attack the work to make things simpler. You can figure out the system that works best for you that keeps willpower sucking vampires at bay. You just have to spend a little time to do this.

The challenge: How do you prevent and defend against willpower sucking vampires?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Haunted by Ghosts (10-17-18)

With Halloween just around the corner, I’d like to start a new series about lessons we can learn from spooky things. We’ll begin by reflecting on what we can learn from ghost stories.

At some point in your life you’ve probably watched a scary movie involving ghosts or you’ve heard a scary story involving ghosts and haunted houses. No matter the story, the plots share some similarities. It usually begins when people move into a “normal” looking house, often out in the country. From there, people begin to notice a few odd things. Doors open on their own. Lights flicker. Things seem to move without anyone touching them. Soon, things escalate and become scary. At this point one of the people in the house notices the ghost for the first time and realizes that the place is haunted. From there, people try to uncover why the place is haunted and it’s usually because something terrible has happened there. The ghost is in so much pain that they are then tethered to that house. It is then up to the people to figure out how to get the ghost out of the house. Usually it involves righting the wrong or helping the ghost get through emotional trauma.

What do ghosts and haunted houses have to do with work? Have you ever been haunted by something? I’m guessing you probably haven’t been haunted by a ghost. (If you have been, I’d love to hear the story) You might have been haunted by something else though. If you’re anything like me, you are haunted by different things from time to time. I’ve found myself haunted by self-doubt. I’ve found myself haunted by regret and mistakes. I’ve found myself haunted by the idea I’m not making a unique difference, because other people could do my job and create the same deliverables. Have you ever been haunted by any of those things?

All of those things are scarier to me than any monster from a horror movie. When I’m hit with these things, they take control over me. These things then tether me to a place filled with anger, sadness, irritation, and other negative emotions. Similar to ghost stories, I’ve found that when I’m hit with these things I need to find a way to rid my mind of them. Often it requires me to try to make up for my mistake, gaining a broader perspective on life, or simply realizing that the issue isn’t worth hanging onto.

The challenge: Are you allowing yourself to be haunted? How are you getting rid of those “ghosts”?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Scarecrows and Challenges (10-31-18)

This is going to be the last in our series inspired by spooking things. We began by reflecting on being haunted by self-doubt and ghosts. From there, we thought about vampires who drain our willpower. This week is about scarecrows and scary situations.

In case you aren’t from the corn belt of the United States, a scarecrow is a fake person/creature that farmers make and put in their fields. Its entire purpose is to be spooky and ominous in order to scare the crows away. Supposedly, what happens is that a crow goes flying around ready to land on the field to eat the corn, and then they see the scarecrow and say, “That looks pretty scary. I’m going to leave that field alone.” The interesting thing about all of this is that scarecrows are stationary objects, who are just there to LOOK scary. They can’t actually do anything. They just stand there. If the crows pay attention they could quickly see that the scarecrow isn’t actually worth being afraid of, because it doesn’t really pose a danger to them.

You’re probably wondering what scarecrows have to do with anything. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I find myself afraid of scarecrows in my life. Sometimes, I find myself looking down a path filled with looming obstacles. From a far these challenges look scary and cause me to feel anxious/nervous. Do you ever feel yourself feeling this way? Do you ever feel yourself looking at challenges you’ll face and saying, “I wonder how I’ll ever find a way through that.”? When I’m in this state of mind, I find myself paralyzed. I find myself tempted to avoid the situation, in the same way that crows are tempted to avoid a field guarded by a scarecrow.

While I might be afraid, the truth is that so many of the problems we face in our lives are actually scarecrows. What I mean is that so many of the problems we have are things that loom off in the distance and appear to be intimidating/daunting/scary/impossible. However, if we would take a moment to observe, we could quickly realize that thing we are afraid of isn’t all that intimidating and it’s rarely as bad as we think it will be. Often, as we get closer to these daunting problems, we realize that we’ve always had the strength to conquer them, even though we lost sight of this while we were scared.

In short, many times the problems in our life are only as strong as we allow them to be. Just as crows can see that a scarecrow is nothing more than something a farmer made, we have the power to look at our problems and realize that often they aren’t anything too large for us to handle.

The challenge: Do you see the challenges you face for the scarecrows they are?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry