Tag: cognitive distortions

Bonus- Impostor Syndrome and Distorting How You View Yourself (10-23-24)

I have a bonus follow-up to today’s blog.  A friend and colleague of mine responded to my blog this morning and I had to share because it hit me hard and made things so clear.  It’s another take on impostor syndrome distorting the way you view yourself.

From my friend- What’s funny is even in your thoughts here, you are selling yourself short – “They’ve worked with all kinds of amazing companies” “They have done work with heads of huge companies”. That’s you, too. Lilly is top ten biggest company in the world by market cap (ahead of tesla, Walmart, visa etc.) and you have made a big name for yourself here. You have the accolades and connections in one of the premier companies in the world – and yet imposter syndrome would tell you it doesn’t “count” for you. Personally, it sucks because it makes me discredit all my accomplishments “(right place at the right time, got lucky, was propelled by better people)”. It’s like everyone else earned their accomplishments except I just happened to stumble upon mine, so they don’t really count.

Deep thoughts, right?  My friend makes a great point.  It’s so weird that I would sell myself so short.  Do you ever do the same?  It’s like I see my reflection through a distorted funhouse mirror.  Seriously, if I met someone and they said, “I’m responsible for reimagining market research.  I’m the business lead for our market research AI efforts, and my company is one of the top 10 most valued in the world,” I’d be like, “Dang! That’s impressive!  How do I get on their level?” That impressive person IS ME.  Even though that person is me, I don’t view myself in that way, because impostor syndrome wants me to shrink myself.  Impostor syndrome messes with my reflection.  Sometimes, we need to step back to look through a more objective lens to see a true reflection.

The challenge- Will you step back and look at the big picture when impostor syndrome tries to make you feel small?

Bonus- A few “step back and see your awesomeness” moments that come to mind in case you are feeling a bit small

  • You are not just a parent.  You are a builder of incredibly fierce, independent, and strong adults.  You are the hug that held them when they cried that they will never forget.  You are a crafter of curriculums, teaching lessons that last and unlocking levels of curiosity kids never knew they had. (#mywife)
  • You aren’t just a market researcher.  You are an investigative reporter scouting sources, finding truth, and enabling people to make HUGE decisions that set the trajectory of million dollar brands  (Here’s a poem about being a researcher  Click HERE.
  • You aren’t just a college professor.  You are a sage leaving lasting wisdom with students (#ProfessorSkinner). 
  • You’re not just a sales professional.  You are someone who manages a business and generates millions of dollars in revenue.
  • You aren’t just a middle manager.  You are a leader of the team leaving a lasting legacy on the people in your care.

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Therapy and Thinking Traps (9-11-24)

The previous entry was about therapy and symptoms vs root causes.  This week is about thinking traps (also called cognitive distortions).

Last week I shared that the root cause of my problems is that I got trapped in a mindset of, “This sucks.  I’m stuck and powerless.”  As I explored this belief with my therapist, she introduced me to the idea of thinking traps, which are patterns of negative thinking that distort our perception of reality.  The way you bust out of the thinking trap is by asking what the facts are and challenging your beliefs about a situation until you find the truth.  This truth empowers you to act. 

My belief that “This sucks.  I’m stuck and powerless” was a combination of two thinking traps, black/white thinking and catastrophizing.  To challenge these traps, my therapist asked me for evidence that supported my claims.  I could prove my challenges were real.  I didn’t have evidence to support I was truly powerless.  For example, my therapist pointed out that if work was a challenge I could get a new role, interview with another company, or at a minimum quit my job.  Those were choices I could make.  That was power I had in this situation.  Once I shattered the illusion of being powerless, I reflected on other times I had been in tough situations, and how I had always found a way to get through them.  Now the evidence was telling me a different story.  I went from “This sucks.  I’m stuck and powerless.” to “this sucks, AND I always find a way to get through.”  I was now free from the thinking trap.  Does any of this ring true for you?

There are many applications for thinking traps.  Beyond using this tool to deal with stress at work or at home, we can also use this tool to solve work problems.  We can pressure test our thinking to make sure we didn’t get stuck in a thinking trap.  Work thinking traps often sound like, “Well, this is the way it MUST be done” or “This is the only decision that can be made” or “If we do X it will definitely lead a disaster.”  Similar to my situation, we can take those statements and begin breaking them down.  What is the logic that led us to that conclusion?  What is the evidence?  Sometimes, our assertion might be right.  Often, we’ve fooled ourselves into believing something and became trapped by it.

The challenge: How will you recognize the thought traps you get stuck in?

Bonus- Here are some videos about thinking traps

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry