Same Situation, Different Experiences (9-10-25)

Last week I spent time with my wife, kids, and family up at a camper. We started reminiscing around a bonfire and shared the story of us moving back to Indiana, which inspired this series. This week is about how people can be in the same situation and have different experiences.

Let me set the scene. It’s a stressful whirlwind. Within a few months, we had our first kid, the first grandkid on my side, I got a new job that would move us from Wisconsin to Indiana, and we had to buy a house. To top it off, we had to do this while I worked in Wisconsin and Diane and a few months old Alice went to Indiana for a month to begin house hunting. They lived with my parents, my brother, 2 cats, and a dog. #stress While Diane and Alice are living with my parents, Alice is only a few months old and is being a typical colicky newborn with constant crying, loud screaming, and irregular sleep. #allthethings

When I spoke with Diane on the phone, she was worried that she and Alice were being an annoying burden for the family. From her point of view, all she could see was the screaming, crying, and the disruption in day-to-day schedules for everyone in the house. I told Diane, “I hear you. What you are saying is valid. Also, that is not at all how my parents are experiencing this right now. When I talk to them, they go on and on about how they are so excited and lucky because their first ever grandkid is LIVING WITH THEM. In their eyes, you and Alice can do no wrong. They are so pumped to be able to spend this time with you two and they love being able to snuggle and love on Alice all the time.”

Let’s connect some dots. Everything my wife experienced was true. Everything my parents experienced was true. The thing is that they were both approaching this from a different starting point. This is a classic instance of people being in the same situation and having different experiences. As we go throughout different experiences, it might be worth taking a moment to reflect on the situation, our starting point, and how that might cause us to interpret things one way or another.

The challenge: How will you be more mindful of how you are experiencing situations? Will you remember that people could be experiencing the same situation differently?

Bonus 1- Big thanks to Charlie Wilson and Bryan Lapel for offering me the job and enabling us to come home. I’m forever thankful.

Bonus 2 (cute story)- My family knew I was going for this job, and we also all thought I had a pretty slim chance to get it. Anyway, I had just got off the phone with Charlie where he offered me the role, and I was so excited! I immediately told Diane and was getting ready to tell my dad when he called me. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he just got new tires put on his vehicle, so he’s ready to drive up to Wisconsin a lot and in the winter to see the grandbaby. Nonchalantly I said, “That sounds cool. Wisconsin is a beautiful state. You can drive up here all you want, but I won’t be living here.” Immediately my dad is like, “WHAT!?!?” I told him I got the job and then he’s ecstatic and like, “You better not be messing with me man!” I assure him I’m not and that Diane and I are excited about moving closer to home. I ask my dad to have my mom call me, so I can tell her. Hours go by and I don’t hear from my mom, which I think is weird. Eventually, she calls me, and I share the news with her. She’s ecstatic. Then, she’s getting onto my dad for not having her call sooner, and the poor guy is like, “I kept nudging you to call Andrew, but you were busy and said you’d call when you had time!” lol

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Rabbit Holes and Perspective (8-7-25)

This is a bonus blog, because the universe said someone needs this today. If you’re the one, just know the universe heard you. This blog is about falling down rabbit holes, taking a step back, gaining perspective, and realizing you’re doing pretty well.

Let me start this by saying I’m not trying to fish for compliments or anything. I just want to be real about the head space I was in. I started my week with these thoughts going through my head, “I have a lot of stuff I need to get done. I’m feeling behind. Here is a whole list of things that aren’t quite going right that need to be fixed. This is not good.” I was in a bit of a rabbit hole. Have any of you been in that headspace? Not a fun place to be.

Then, something interesting happened. I was in a situation where someone was showering me with praise and recognition. They were publicly telling this story like, “Andrew is so awesome. He’s doing great work and it’s providing a lot of value.” All of that punched the negative mindset I had right in the face and shifted my perspective. I went from, “This is not good” to “In the grand scheme of things, stuff is going pretty well. I should feel really great about where I am and what I’m doing.” I also challenged myself to realize that in the grand scheme of things, all of those little things I was worried about don’t matter or detract from what I’m doing.

How does this connect to our day to day? It’s easy for one slip up, one imperfect thing to lead us down a rabbit hole to wallowing in a bad mindset. Once we are sliding down this rabbit hole, it’s easy to lose perspective on how things are truly going. Sometimes, we need to take a step back to look at the situation. Sometimes, we need an external force to help us see the truth of things too.

The challenge: Will you challenge a bad mindset when it starts to set in? Will you help others challenge their bad mindsets when they are stuck in a rabbit hole?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Self-Doubt and Being an Unreliable Narrator (4-16-25)

This week I’m going to kick off a series inspired by different storytelling mechanics. This entry is about self-doubt and being an unreliable narrator.

An unreliable narrator is a storyteller whose account of events can’t be fully trusted. They might be lying on purpose or they might unintentionally have things wrong. The Sixth Sense is a great example of having an unreliable narrator. The story is told from the perspective of Malcom, a child psychologist, played by Bruce Willis. Throughout the movie we see the world unfold through his eyes, and assume the events are true. Then the twist is revealed. Malcom had been dead the entire time and had not known it. As all the pieces start connecting you begin to realize that the events we saw from Malcom’s eyes weren’t the real ones.

You’re probably wondering how this connects to anything. What if we can be an unreliable narrator sometimes like Malcom? What if we allow our self-doubt, skepticism, or other things to infiltrate our minds and distort our perception of the reality around us? Has this ever happened to you? Sometimes, we need some perspective from the outside or another person to nudge us to ensure we have an accurate view on reality.

Let me share a recent personal story with you. My new boss started a couple of months ago. We were having a pretty good heart to heart during a 1 on 1. At the time, self-doubt was shaping my narrative, and I shared something along the lines of, “I feel like I’m just moving soooo slow right now. It’s like I’m not being effective.” My boss looks at me and says something like, “I don’t feel that way or see that being true.” This jolt was similar to the twist in the Sixth Sense, where all of the pieces started to fit together in a different and more true way. This comment made me realize that I might have been an unreliable narrator. Maybe, my perception of what was going on was not actually reality. Maybe, my perception had been distorted by self-doubt. Fast forward from two months ago to yesterday when I had my first performance check-in for the year. Now, I had a better grasp on reality due to a more balanced self-reflection and by listening to the feedback and encouragement from others. Instead of being burdened by self-doubt, I went into that conversation confident. I was able to sit down and tell a story like, “I’m so proud and so excited about everything I’ve delivered so far, AND I also know I’d like to grow in A, B, C areas.” It was a total shift from just a couple of months prior.

The challenge- How will you ensure that self-doubt doesn’t turn you into an unreliable narrator?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting and the Power of Being Kind and Caring (3-5-25)

Our last entry was about little signs of support. This week is about parenting and the power of being caring and kind.

Last week, Alice (almost 13) was having a tough time. I talked to her a bit about it. Later that night, I heard Alice telling my wife how I had been so helpful to her. My heart swelled when I heard her say that. If I’m entirely honest, I have no idea what I did. I can’t think of any special tactic or some magic question or phrase I used. Instead, Alice shared, “He was so caring and kind.”

What does this have to do with anything? Yesterday, was the first day of a market research supplier partner conference. I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in years. We had worked together on a few things when she first joined her company, and then I hadn’t crossed paths with her too much since. I was so excited to see her and how far she had come in her career. Then, she looked at me and said something like, “You may not even know this, but you were like an important part of my early career.” I was shocked. I had no clue I had such an impact on her. If I’m entirely honest, I have no idea what I did that could have made her feel that way. I can’t think of any special nuggets I shared with her. I don’t remember imparting any specific wisdom. I can’t think of any secret market research techniques I showed her. Instead, she went on to explain how I was caring and kind when she started out, and that made all the difference.

Think about the people who have had a positive impact on you in in your career. If I asked you to explain what specifically they did, you might struggle. However, I bet for all of them you would say that they cared about you and were kind. Those two simple things are so powerful. Those two simple things always matter.

The challenge- In a world where it is easy to be uncaring and cruel, will you have the strength to be caring and kind?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Parenting and Little Signs of Support (2-26-25)

Last week was about parenting and setting incentives. This week is about parenting and little signs of support.

Recently, Cameron auditioned for a role in a local production of Finding Nemo. This was a big step for him. He had been in plays before, but this was the first time he auditioned for a speaking role. He put in a lot of effort to get ready. Ultimately, he earned the part of Nigel the pelican. My wife and I wanted to show our support of him and his accomplishment. She was scrolling on Amazon when she found a fun pelican t-shirt she was going to buy for Cam to celebrate his accomplishment. I laughed and asked, “Do they have one in my size?” Check out the pic on the right. Cam got a huge kick out of the fact that I got a shirt just like his and that we could be twins.

What does this have to do with anything? This week’s story shows how appreciated a small show of support can be. The shirts were relatively cheap. There was nothing fancy or flashy. Still, it showed Cam that we saw him and were proud of his accomplishments.

Think about work for a minute. Think about all the ways people show you small signs of support and what that means to you. Maybe, they buy you a coffee. Maybe, they send you a fun meme. Maybe, they send you a quick note. No matter what they do, I’m sure their small sign of support means something. Wouldn’t it be nice if we gave and received these small signs of support more often?

The challenge- What is something small you can do to show you support and appreciate someone today?

Bonus challenge- Are you a peliCAN or a peliCAN’T?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

An Open Letter to 2024 (12-4-24)

As the year comes to a close, I’ve once again taken time to sit near my Christmas tree and reflect. Here is my open letter to 2024, and the lessons it gave me.

Dear 2024,

How’s it going? If I had to sum up my experience with you in one word it would be, “Whoa!” Whoa as in, “Whoa! What the heck just happened?” or “Whoa! That’s enough already. You don’t need to keep pouring it on.” And “Whoa! How in the world did we make it through all that?” You were tough from the get-go, and you never let up.

My theme for this year was to “Intentionally Invest” There were some places in life where I failed miserable in investing in the right things, and instead spent energy and time like crazy just trying to make it. There were other areas where I did invest well, and I’m already benefiting from the compound interest from those efforts.
I’m so thankful for my health and continue to understand why I shouldn’t ever take that for granted.
I hope that everyone finds a partner one day that loves them, supports them, cares for people, and holds things down the way my wife does. If you’ve already found someone like that, make sure you count your blessings.
If my kids were flowers, they would be in full bloom now, and that’s beautiful. If they were flowers, they would also be bright and colorful with creative weird patterns, who grow where they are planted while learning how to try out new soil.
My goal in my job is always to work magic, to find ways to do the seemingly impossible. I’m so proud of myself, because I know I worked magic this year. I worked blood magic, sweat magic, tears magic. I transformed dreams and wild ideas into reality and slayed the status quo like an evil dragon. And when the dementors tried to come and suck out my soul, I yelled, “Expecto patronum” and shined a bright light until they retreated. #Hufflepuff (Side note, I wonder what my patronus would be. Bonus points to anyone who gives me a good answer)
2024, you taught me how important it is to have a few good people you can lean on. I worked magic, because I could lean on them when I needed to. I hope you all have a squad of folks you can lean on when stuff gets hard.
Being seen and being valued are two of the most important gifts you can give someone. Never underestimate how much a kind word or gesture can mean. Special thanks to all the people who gave me those gifts this year.
When the going got tough, I didn’t put the team on my back, I brought them into my heart. There’s a difference. The back merely holds heavy weight. The heart holds weight, embraces the people, and still beats with hopeful energy. The heart is stronger than other muscles could ever hope to be.
This year reminded me how much strength there is in vulnerability, and how similar our experiences are as humans. I had a blog series where I talked about going to therapy, not knowing if people had any similar feelings or issues. I was blown away by the number of people who said, “Whoa! This is the same things I’m going through.” It was a good reminder that we are never truly alone, and that being brave enough to share our stories hopes us all.
I think almost everyone I’ve spoken to is on the verge of burnout or a breakdown. I pray we all recharge and we find ways to avoid this next year.
Speaking of recharge, I’m finally making some progress on taking care of myself physically. Been working out regularly and seeing increases in strength. I have a long way to go, but proud of my progress.
Whoa! That’s a lot for one year. I hope that 2025 is a little bit smoother around all the spiky edges 😉

The challenge: If you haven’t taken the time, take a few moments to reflect on 2024 and the lessons and emotions it gave you this year. How will these shape you moving forward?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry

Learning to Listen to What You Need (7-10-24)

I hope you all enjoyed the 4^th of July holiday! The last entry was about expanding your comfort zone. This entry is about listening to what you need.

Cam came home after a particularly long rehearsal and was irritable. It had been a long week of rehearsals and other commitments. He was exhausted and grouchy. He comes home and says, “I’m grumpy. I just need to go flump.” In our house, flumping is like collapsing onto a softer cushiony service like a bed or a chair. Sometimes the flump also includes snuggling, reading, or just listening to music. In this instance, Cam flumped on his bed in his room and read his favorite book for 10-15 minutes. He then emerged from his room feeling so much better and was ready to face the world again. (Pic from Pawz Pet Café where you can go to snuggle some cats. #advancedflumping)

What does this have to do with anything? I love and am so impressed with how well Cameron can listen to what he needs in a moment and then act on that. He knew he was irritable and grumpy, and he knew that all he needed was 10-15 minutes to read to recharge his batteries. That’s wisdom and awareness that I don’t always have.

Meanwhile, here is how things play out for me. I don’t fully understand how upset I am at the moment and continue to keep pushing forward while a lot of time goes by. Eventually, I accidentally stumble into doing something along the way that is what I need whether that’s going on a walk, writing, reading a book, or something else. All of a sudden I feel a bit better, and then I say to myself, “Dang, I didn’t realize how much negative energy I was carrying. I wish I would have paused and did this thing sooner to deal with it.” Anyone else like that, or is it just me? I’m getting a bit better at listening to myself, but I’m not where I want to be yet.

The challenge: How can we do a better job of listening to ourselves and taking action?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry