This week I’m going to kick off a series inspired by different storytelling mechanics.  This entry is about self-doubt and being an unreliable narrator.

An unreliable narrator is a storyteller whose account of events can’t be fully trusted.  They might be lying on purpose or they might unintentionally have things wrong.  The Sixth Sense is a great example of having an unreliable narrator. The story is told from the perspective of Malcom, a child psychologist, played by Bruce Willis.  Throughout the movie we see the world unfold through his eyes, and assume the events are true.  Then the twist is revealed.  Malcom had been dead the entire time and had not known it.  As all the pieces start connecting you begin to realize that the events we saw from Malcom’s eyes weren’t the real ones.  

You’re probably wondering how this connects to anything.  What if we can be an unreliable narrator sometimes like Malcom?  What if we allow our self-doubt, skepticism, or other things to infiltrate our minds and distort our perception of the reality around us?  Has this ever happened to you?  Sometimes, we need some perspective from the outside or another person to nudge us to ensure we have an accurate view on reality.

Let me share a recent personal story with you.  My new boss started a couple of months ago.  We were having a pretty good heart to heart during a 1 on 1.  At the time, self-doubt was shaping my narrative, and I shared something along the lines of, “I feel like I’m just moving soooo slow right now.  It’s like I’m not being effective.”  My boss looks at me and says something like, “I don’t feel that way or see that being true.”  This jolt was similar to the twist in the Sixth Sense, where all of the pieces started to fit together in a different and more true way.  This comment made me realize that I might have been an unreliable narrator.  Maybe, my perception of what was going on was not actually reality.  Maybe, my perception had been distorted by self-doubt.  Fast forward from two months ago to yesterday when I had my first performance check-in for the year.  Now, I had a better grasp on reality due to a more balanced self-reflection and by listening to the feedback and encouragement from others.  Instead of being burdened by self-doubt, I went into that conversation confident.  I was able to sit down and tell a story like, “I’m so proud and so excited about everything I’ve delivered so far, AND I also know I’d like to grow in A, B, C areas.”  It was a total shift from just a couple of months prior.

The challenge- How will you ensure that self-doubt doesn’t turn you into an unreliable narrator?

Have a jolly good day,

Andrew Embry